First draft fun – parallel design

[Maurice de Mare]

So, last week the archetypes were revealed and I noticed that Isaac used the exact same name I had for my archetype while it was still a first draft. So I PM-ed him my first draft:

Oathkeeper (Ranger)
Oathbreakers die! The second tenet of the Six River Freedoms drives the oathkeeper in all his pursuits. He seeks out those that broke their word and passes bloody judgement on them. Civilized people would consider an oathkeeper a vigilante, but he is the closest thing to justice that the River Kingdoms allow.

His response: he had an archetype named thief-taker!

Are there more of these happy coincidences?

[Joseph Kellogg]

When I saw another alchemist archetype that seemed to be focused on bluffing (Huckster), I just about had a heart attack. But when I read it, I saw that they really weren't all that similar. Phew!

[Jon Haire]

The paladin archetype I did not submit was called an Elk Warden (for Erastil) and had some ranger abilities/skills. However, none of them were close to the abilities Zachary had for the River Warden.

[Joshua Kitchens]

That is funny, Maurice. I should of let him have that title...

My other two designs that I actually fleshed out were for a magus (Knight of the Wyld) and a wizard (Uringen Horomancer). My first thought for this round however that I never pursued since it seemed not to be something tied to the River Kingdoms was for a barbarian archetype (Numerian Exile).

[Chris Shaeffer]

Oh, voting's over, yeah? :D

The working title for my archetype was "River Rider". Besides being terribly generic, having a two-word archetype was adding significantly to my word count, which I tend to push to the limit anyway. I spent a lot of time thinking about single word names that weren't just typical Noun+Noun compounds ("Lakeskimmer", etc.), and settled on Scallywag, which actually led me to make the archetype more "piratey" than I had originally intended. I recently thought up "Skipper" for it, but now I can't get Gilligan's Island out of my head.

Interesting how a name can affect your creative process.

[Starglim]

I drafted an Unknown Knight (Cavalier) and thought the Oathlorn might have been similar, more so than it turned out to be.

[DM_aka_Dudemeister]

I was surprised nobody tried to make a Black Eagle archetype, that's what I was going to go with. A cavalier riding a nightmare or with a shadow mastiff companion, hunting down the enemies of their nation (from without & within).

[Chris Shaeffer]

DM_aka_Dudemeister wrote:

I was surprised nobody tried to make a Black Eagle archetype, that's what I was going to go with. A cavalier riding a nightmare or with a shadow mastiff companion, hunting down the enemies of their nation (from without & within).

I tend to avoid things that already have a specific name and role in the game world. I wouldn't have wanted my archetype to be at odds with whatever official material Paizo comes up with (past or future). Unless I invented some sort of previously unmentioned subdivision of the Black Eagles. That I could make my own without issues arising later on.

[Fern Herold]

I was considering a Black Eagle, actually. It was going to be a mounted inquisitor.

[Joshua Kitchens]

And since I hate creating stuff that nobody ever gets to see (other than my handful of gamer friends), here are my alternate almost-ran entries for anyone who cares.

Knight of the Wyld (Magus):

A knight of the wyld is a warden of those places where the veil frays between the Material Plane and the First World. The knight of the wyld protects both worlds from one another, saving mortals lost in the ever-changing landscapes of the First World and fey from being slain while visiting the Material Plane. A knight of the wyld is forever changed by his close association with the fey and their primordial realm.

Class Skills: The knight of the wyld adds Diplomacy and Knowledge (nature) to his list of class skills and removes Knowledge (dungeoneering) and Ride from his list of class skills.

Charisma Dependent: A knight of the wyld uses Charisma instead of Intelligence when determining the highest level of spells he can cast, his spell save DCs, number of spells known at 1st level, and any effects of his abilities normally determined by his Intelligence.

Wyldfire (Su): At 2nd level, a knight of the wyld can sacrifice a prepared magus spell of 1st level or higher as a swift action to wreathe his off hand in living green fire called wyldfire. The wyldfire lasts for a number of rounds equal to the level of the spell sacrificed to call it forth + the knight of the wyld’s Charisma modifier. Once per round, as a standard action, the knight of the wyld can unleash a ghostly ray of green flame against one foe within 30 feet as a ranged touch attack. This ray deals 1d6 points of acid, cold, electricity, fire, or force damage per level of the spell sacrificed to summon the wyldfire + 1 for every two knight of the wyld levels he possesses. The type of damage is chosen when the wyldfire is first summoned. The hand wreathed in wyldfire is still considered free for the purpose of casting spells and delivering touch attacks. A knight of the wyld can use wyldfire in place of a spell that takes 1 standard action for the purposes of spell combat.

This ability replaces spellstrike.

Wyld Ward (Sp): At 7th level, a knight of the wyld can expend 1 point from his arcane pool to transport one mortal creature or fey back to their home plane. If wyld ward is used on a living, non-fey creature in the First World, the creature is forced back to the Material Plane if it fails a Will save as the spell dismissal. The knight of the wyld can use wyld ward in a similar function against fey in the Material Plane, whisking them back to the First World on a failed Will saving throw.

This ability replaces knowledge pool.

Uringen Horomancer (Wizard) - First Draft:

Regardless of the difficulty in locating it, the town of Uringen attracts a fair number of curious visitors and scholars from around the River Kingdoms. Uringen horomancers are those individuals that remain in the town to study the temporal and spatial anomalies that plague the center of Uringen and the strange clock tower that is at the heart of all the town’s woes.

Class Skills: The Uringen horomancer adds Disable Device to his list of class skills.

Automata Bond (Ex): At 1st level, an Uringen horomancer gains a clockwork spy as a familiar from his work studying Uringen’s clock tower. Unlike a normal construct, the Uringen horomancer’s familiar gains a rudimentary intelligence as part of the Uringen horomancer’s psyche imprints into its mechanisms. As a side effect of this imprinting, when an Uringen horomancer gains the dying condition, he can choose to destroy his familiar as a swift action to turn back time by a split second, leaving the Uringen horomancer at 0 hit points and disabled.

At 7th level, the Uringen horomancer can upgrade his clockwork spy into a clockwork familiar by spending 1000 gp and 1 week disassembling and reassembling his familiar.

An Uringen horomancer can repair a destroyed familiar for 200 gp per hit dice and 1 week of work. This ability replaces arcane bond.

Countdown (Sp): At 5th level, an Uringen horomancer can shift the stream of time to send spells into the future by a few seconds. Once per round, when a spell is cast by another creature, an Uringen horomancer can make a Spellcraft skill check (DC 15 + the spell’s level) to identify the spell being cast and then may sacrifice a spell of the same level or higher, as an immediate action, to delay the spell from coming into effect for up to 5 rounds. Once this time passes, the spell comes into effect how and where it originally was designated. This ability replaces the bonus feat gained at 5th level.

Here and There (Su): At 10th level, an Uringen horomancer can share two points in space for brief moments at a time. When the Uringen horomancer casts a spell, he can use an unoccupied space within 30 feet at the point of origin for the spell. While he turns semi-transparent, a faint copy of the Uringen horomancer appears in the new space until the end of the round. Any attacks against either version of the Uringen horomancer that round only deal half damage to him. The Uringen horomancer can use this ability a number of times per day equal to 3 + his Intelligence modifier. This ability replaces the bonus feat gained at 10th level.

Uringen Horomancer (Wizard) - Rewrite:

Uringen horomancers are spellcasters that travel to Uringen to study the temporal and spatial anomalies that plague it and the strange clock tower at its heart.

Class Skills: The Uringen horomancer adds Disable Device to his list of class skills.

Clockwork Apparatus (Su): At 1st level, an Uringen horomancer crafts a bonded device of clockwork and magic that serves to assist him in manipulating temporal energies. This clockwork apparatus is unique in appearance to each Uringen horomancer and designed to take up one of the following slots, chosen at creation: belt, feet, hands, head, neck, or wrist. A clockwork apparatus has a number of charges per day equal to 3 + Uringen horomancer’s Intelligence modifier that refreshes with his spells. When wearing the clockwork apparatus and the Uringen horomancer is subject to a spell or spell-like ability with a duration other than instantaneous, as long as the clockwork apparatus has at least 1 charge remaining, he can make a Will saving throw (DC 15 + spell level) to either extend or shorten the effect by a number of rounds up to half his caster level, rounded down (minimum 1).

A destroyed or broken clockwork apparatus can be repaired at the cost of 1 week of time and 200 gp per Uringen horomancer level. This ability replaces arcane bond.

Jump Ahead (Su): At 5th level, an Uringen horomancer can use his clockwork apparatus to slip a few moments into the future. As a standard action, the Uringen horomancer disappears from his current location and reappears at the top of the initiative order the next round in the same space or the closest adjacent empty space. This ability uses 1 charge of the clockwork apparatus. This ability replaces the bonus feat gained at 5th level.

Time is on Your Side (Su): At 10th level, an Uringen horomancer can use his clockwork apparatus to slow the arrival of a single spell being cast by sending it into the future. As an immediate action, the Uringen horomancer can delay a spell, his own or another spellcaster’s, from going into effect by up to 5 rounds. This ability uses 2 charges of the clockwork apparatus. This ability replaces the bonus feat gained at 10th level.

Clock Out (Sp): At 20th level, an Uringen horomancer can use his clockwork apparatus to stop time for him and others. As a standard action, the Uringen horomancer can freeze time for 1d4+1 rounds like the spell time stop but can bring others into the spell as well. This ability uses 3 charges of the clockwork apparatus + 1 charge per additional character that shares the effect. This ability replaces the bonus feat gained at 20th level.

[GreySector]

Similarly, here is the first draft of the archetype that I did not submit.

Sixfold Liberator (Cavalier) First Draft:

Sixfold Liberator (Cavalier)
The sixfold liberator has dedicated himself to exemplifying and upholding the six River Freedoms.

It is recommended that a sixfold liberator select the Order of the Cockatrice (Advanced Player’s Guide) as his order.

Oathbreaker’s Bane (Ex): At 3rd level, a sixfold liberator becomes the bane of oathbreakers. The sixfold liberator gains a +2 bonus to melee attack rolls against the target of his challenge ability if the target has broken an oath within the last week. This ability replaces cavalier’s charge.

Walk Any Road, Float Any River (Ex): At 4th level the sixfold liberator’s knowledge of travel is unparalleled. The overland movement multiplier of a sixfold liberator and any group he leads is treated as one step better than normal (trackless becomes road or trail, and road or trail becomes highway; highway is not improved). The per hour and per day speeds of any vessel which the sixfold liberator pilots increases by 20%. This ability replaces expert trainer.

Slavery’s Scourge (Su): At 11th level the sixfold liberator is able to break the bonds of unnatural servitude. Any successful melee attack by the sixfold liberator against the target of his challenge allows any creature affected by a charm or compulsion effect caused by the target to make a new saving throw at the original DC. Spells and effects that do not allow a saving throw are unaffected by this ability. This ability replaces mighty charge.

Live Free (Su): At 20th level the sixfold liberator becomes the embodiment of freedom. The sixfold liberator is permanently under the effects of mind blank and freedom of movement. This ability replaces supreme charge.

[Starglim]

There's a discussion proceeding elsewhere that's interesting to me in light of my other idea, the Coven-Taught Witch, a devotee of a deity of witches who can form a coven as if she were a hag.

[Kalervo Oikarinen]

I was thinking about an Outsea-based landlubber wizard. He would have had a small air elemental bound to his body (arcane bond) that would have allowed him to breath under water for a limited time, among other things. I would have also replaced the spellbook with maybe tattoos or a seashell. Didn't get much farther than that in my pondering.

[Landon Cole]

I had an idea for a paladin that could do a share spells thing instead of mercy, each one being connected to a river freedom. I couldn't think of appropriate spells to share for each one, but it might've been fun.

[Pedro Coelho]

I had two other concepts: one was for female clerics of Gyronna, with a strong witch/horror feel (lots of freaky stuff there). Didn't get to actually work on that.

The other was the Gralton Counter-Revolutionary, a Guy Fawkes-inspired gunslinger buit around gunpowder explosives. In hindsight, I think this one could have done well, but at the time I wanted something with stronger ties o RK's core theme... just as many, many others.

[Effie Schwartz-Craighill]

I don't have anything funny or insightful to share. But it's fun reading these posts :)

[Joseph Kellogg]

Pedro Coelho Mendes Bueno Barbosa wrote:

The other was the Gralton Counter-Revolutionary, a Guy Fawkes-inspired gunslinger buit around gunpowder explosives. In hindsight, I think this one could have done well, but at the time I wanted something with stronger ties o RK's core theme... just as many, many others.

Well, aside from enjoying having Gralton all to myself, I would have liked to see that archetype. Of course, I might be biased; back when Paizo was soliciting pitches for PFS scenarios, I submitted one that had a gunslinger NPC using gunpowder explosives to blow open a bank vault.

If I had known that there were going to be 4 other alchemists, but no bards and no Tymon-focused entries, I might have worked more on my other idea, a Tymon Fight Fixer bard. If and when someone starts the "What would you have submitted" thread, I'll probably put my first draft of that one up.

[Eric Morton]

My first thought for a River Kingdoms archetype was a female-only monk archetype that puts a non-comedic spin on the Fiercely Virginal Order of Blessed Exoneration. Called fierce maidens, these militant advocates of female empowerment would have viewed the Fiercely Virginal Order as an embarrassing sideshow that gives a bad name to the larger population of feminist monks.

And then SKR went out and posted his "Ra, ra, women game designers" thread, and that killed the fierce maiden archetype before it even got off the ground; any sort of feminist-themed archetype would now be seen as pandering to the judges. So I ditched the fierce maiden and wrote an oracle archetype that was similar to Steven Helt's floodwalker. Part of me is glad I didn't compete in Round 2, because I think the floodwalker is probably better than the similar archetype I'd have submitted.