Greetings MINIONS!,
Welcome to Ask Dr. Feel Good. We Invite each and everyone one of you to ask a question and we will answer it for you. Ask us the hard questions, the easy questions, or the other questions. Also, we love to answer questions about Pathfinder Online, as we have been following this rather interesting extra planar device for some time now.
With out further delay, we open the forum up to you and hope you enjoy the day.
P.S. Do not drink the drink you have in your hand. Yes YOU! Who else would I be pointing at? That drink was mixed with my mutagen this morning and has not yet been labeled.
Goblin Squad Member
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Dear Dr feel Good,
I have recently discovered my girlfriend is actually a Drow Priestess and hence chaotic evil. I have suspected this for some time because of her dark skin, penchance for gothic outfits and the whips she usually carries. As a LG Paladin should I break up with her?
Dear Neadenil,
We feel love can cross all barriers of alignment, sex, creed, religion and race, If you love her, and she loves you then you should do the only responsible thing, what all paladins should really. Redeem her by showing her you love her by singing the following:
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
If that does not work then you could always bring her to us for a few experiments.
Of course if you had never failed your perception check in the first place this would never of been an issue as you would no doubt of detected evil then smote her with much righteous might. Thank fate you did fail that perception check though as you will never be lonely again. What ever course of action you do decide on we urge you not to break up with her until she tries to kill you, at which point you marry her and return the favor. We wish you much luck in your current situation, and if you wind up flailed, disemboweled, dismembered, and otherwise maimed, dead, or no longer requiring your character sheet we will be more then happy to recreate you.
As an after thought we felt the need to point out, when she inevitably betrays you, be sure to place a bounty on her head once she murders you so you can have your revenge with out the need of guilt or alignment shift.
I ask thee a simple question: how does one make Ryan Dancey grow a four foot beard?
A simple tranmutation spell would work, though it is not very sportsmanlike, however if everyone where to up their pledges as a show of solidarity when we get our KS reward email that lets us up our pledge we might be able to convince Mr. Dancey to grow a beard as a thank you!
Dear Dr Feel Good,
I recently discovered one of my slaves has been stealing extra rations. How do you suggest I handle this disobedient wretch?
Dear Blaeringr,
We think that it would depend on the settlement and hex laws those slaves was stealing the rations in. If it is against the laws there then we suggest you seek restitution through their justice system. If that is not an option we recommend speaking with Tony at length about your problem while eating wonderful bread to feel good. A thought just occurred to us, if you were to bring the slave to us we could mix up an alchemical mixture or potion to deter further thefts, or we could equip the slave with a ring of sustenance so they never have to eat or sleep again alleviating the base need that would drive someone to steal rations. If the slave has escaped before you can punish the miscreant then we recommend using the contract system in game to hunt the vile retch down and punish his transgression.
Dear Doctor Feel Good,
What do you feel good about?
(BTW this thread was my idea so if you get on Gobbcast or whatever its called I want a shout out AT THE VERY LEAST.)
Dear Waruko,
We feel good about many things, such as Pathfinder Online, Paizo Publishing, Goblin Works Inc. and they community for Pathfinder RPG and PFO. We also feel good about self medicating with various potions and mutagens as well as various spells. We really feel good about the recent blog post Blood on the Tracks posted by Ryan Dancey, on Wednesday, January 23, 2013 and the information contained there in. We would be amiss if we did not admit that we feel good about gnomes being the race that won the crowd forger vote for next race implemented as we our selves are gnomes and would hate to suffer from bleaching due to a lack of stimuli from our fellows.P.S. Thank you for suggesting the Ask Dr. Feel Good segment, as we were looking for someway to contribute to the community before the game launches. Which would you prefer for a gift as thanks? A ring? a few potion? or maybe something else we might be able to craft one day?
Dear Doctor Feel Good,
What is your stance on using magical or alchemical means to Feel Good?
Or should I combine them together to create the ultimate feeling?
Dear Decorus,
our stance on this is one of when you can why not? there is nothing wrong with self enhancement and we encourage it. While some effect may not stack others might, we never know until we experiment and document the results! So always combine both together for the ultimate feel good experience! As always we are the one they call Dr. Feelgood , we are the one that makes ya feel all right, we are the one they call Dr. Feelgood, we will be your Frankenstein, with potions and alchemical items, and other supplies of magical nature or inventive minds!We hope GW will enlighten us all in the coming months on just what sort of effects we can accomplish with potions and the crafting system.
Sir,
Do you really think this is a good idea? Did you forget about what happened last year in Cheliax?
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Goblin Squad Member
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Dear Dr. Feel Good,
After a hard days work building my new home I decided to go to the tavern for a drink (or seven). While I was there I met what I thought was a beautiful woman. The next morning when I awoke and the ale goggles had worn off I found a bearded dwarf woman in my bed. She now says she is with child and it is mine!
I do not wish to be with this woman or have people know I slept with her. She is ugly!
What should I do Doc!
Dear Doc,
As a druid, with the proposed alignment system, how am I to remain a true master of the balance if nearly all my actions move me towards either law/chaos and good/evil?
Dear Wyldethorne,
We believe the best method of maintaining a true neutral alignment will be to cancel out each act you take much like canceling out a base with an acid and canceling out an acid with a base. if you perform a lawful act you will need to perform a chaotic act to cancel it, if you perform an evil act then you shall need to perform a good act to cancel it. This is strictly conjecture at this point based of the currently available information we have and is extrapolated from the balance of opposites.
Another possible solution would to be to live as the animals live. Watch your animal friends and learn from them how to act as animals are the epitome of neutrality and are not confined to morality and ethics.
Dear Doctor Feel Good,
I want to crossbreed dragons and T-Rexs to create an apex predator what would be the best way to convince others that this would be a good idea?
Dear Decorus,
We would love to assist you in cross breeding these species, and as difficult as it can be to convince a red dragon to trust us, they can be dealt with when thier life is a bargaining chip.
That said, we feel the best way to convince someone of your quandary is to simply do it, they will either see the merits of such a crossbred, or wind up being the Half-dragon Tyrannosaurus Rex's snack.
A more diplomatic and nice way to do this would be a mind altering affect to get your audience to agree with you, but some folks are immune to mind altering effects or have realty strong forces of will. If this is the case then by all means we recommend just talking with them.
Try explaining the benefits of such a creature. Start by explaining that Half-dragons are only rarely the result of dragons mating with other creatures—most are the result of strange magical experiments. In most cases, a successful creation breeds true with others of its kind, as with the dreaded dracolisk. Therefore it is not as unnatural as some might believe. Follow that argument with the benefits to the Tyrannosaur Rex. All A half-dragons gain darkvision out to 60 feet; low-light vision; and immunity to sleep, paralysis, and energy of the same type as its breath weapon. it would gain a breath weapon to help defend its self, or its "friends" such as yourself. The creature would not be an aberration as commonly believed, but would in fact be a creature of the dragon type. It would gain an increase to its strength, constitution, intelligence, and its charisma, as well as having its skin act like a natural armor. It would also finally know the pleasure of flight from the wings it would grow, this in and of itself should be enough to convince someone this is a good idea as no living creature should not experience the joy and thrill of flight!
This would make a wonderful companion to anyone with the skill to handle it and the love to nurture it. By creating this wonderful creature you would be helping it to survive in a slightly modified form for years to come and help it to know a more fulfilled life while doing a great service to your community as it would be most likely more than happy to guard and protect you all as they have all loved and cared for it.
Sir,
Do you really think this is a good idea? Did you forget about what happened last year in Cheliax?
Dear Tasha,
Of course we think this is a great idea, and if something goes wrong it is not our fault as this was Waruko's suggestion and idea! Besides if some poor sap does not follow our directions perfectly and mixes up the wrong mutagen the blame lays entirely with them!Cheliax. What happened in Cheliax. We feel we are on the cusp of a great discovery but it keeps slipping just out of reach. Of course, We remember now! Cheliax is where we went to investigate that extra planar bordello only become lost in the city and fall into the passionate hands of a succubus, entirely unrelated to the bordello, and endure her ravenous affections until you found me and removed me from the grips of her vile lustful eyes! She was remarkable.
Tanya, be a dear and bring us something to cheer us up. Maybe we could have some psychotropic potions to drink? Or possibly a sweet confection of some sort. We find we strangely miss that succubus. She did have amazing eyes.
Dear Dr. Feel Good,
After a hard days work building my new home I decided to go to the tavern for a drink (or seven). While I was there I met what I thought was a beautiful woman. The next morning when I awoke and the ale goggles had worn off I found a bearded dwarf woman in my bed. She now says she is with child and it is mine!
I do not wish to be with this woman or have people know I slept with her. She is ugly!
What should I do Doc!
Dear Randovar,
We have experienced our fair share of ale goggles when we were a younger gnome. We suggest a double dose of Tears of Death, a nasty contact poison guaranteed to lay low the most stout of constitutions while inducing paralysis, if that is far to immoral for you, we suggest you pray for a miracle or get a wish granted to make the one night stand in question have never happened.
We may have a third option for you, transmutation potions or spells to make her turn into a beautiful woman of your preferred race. it is superficial only but is a possible solution.
Dear Dr. Feel Good,
After considerable debate and no answer to be found, I hope you can answer me this. Is Blaeringr and Nihimon the same person ?
Dear Scarlette,
After much research, a nap, and some further contemplation, We feel we can now properly answer your inquiry.
Blaeringr and Nihimon do, in fact, seem to be two distinctly different and separate personalities. As such, it is our hypothesis that they are irrevocably two wholly different people regardless of whether they in habit the same body or not. They also appear to be complete opposites in many regards. Until we have further evidence and can sit them down in a room to run some tests, we can not form a theory.
Dear Dr. Feel Good
As a graveyard worker in a temple of Urgathoa I have alot of work with the dead and sometimes undead (couph necromancer couph). My problem is that several days ago my perception check revealed a strange oder and color distortion on my foot and after several failed home remedies have been unable to remove said disorder. afraid to go to the priests for healing beause it may be assosiated with something undead treatment gone wrong contagion spell. I write this because it seems to be spreading at a somewhat rapid pace and is now above my knee. I would like some advice before it reaches my... upper parts.sincerly yours: a soon to be ex-husband
Dear Soon to be ex-husband,
We suggest you take two potions of restoration as well as a potion of remove curse, remove disease, and bulls endurance then seek me out in the morning!
Dear Dr. Feel Good,
Are Earth-Elementals -allowed- to use reposition combat maneuvers to put an enemy inside the earth?
Signed,
Up-To-His-Neck in The Croquet Field
Dear Up-To-His-Neck in the The Croquet Field,
That would mostly depend on the disembodied voice of the GM controlling the Earth Elemental. We see no reason why this should be allowed, nor do we see any reason why it should be disallowed. it is a mechanics question that should be argued with diplomacy citing the extra planar GM's copy of the Bestiary referencing the entries for elementals in it.
We feel that we should point out that GM's can be touchy when questioned about the "rules" of "their world", as they often times view them selves as the god of their world. The best approach of handling this would be to work together towards a compromise or understanding of the system and rules the GM is using. Crowd Forging at its best!
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Goblin Squad Member
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Dear Doctor Feelgood,
People and animals have begun to mysteriously disappear around my tower. Now the local villagers are claiming my pet Snugglepumpkin a half Tyrannasaurous Rex and Half Primal Umbral Dragon is responsible for these incidents. I'm convinced its the Local Sheriff who is obviously jealous of my cute and entirely tame pet. How do I prove my dear Snugglepumpkin is innocent and prove the Paladin is the real threat to the village?
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Goblin Squad Member
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Dear Doctor Feelgood,
People and animals have begun to mysteriously disappear around my tower. Now the local villagers are claiming my pet Snugglepumpkin a half Tyrannasaurous Rex and Half Primal Umbral Dragon is responsible for these incidents. I'm convinced its the Local Sheriff who is obviously jealous of my cute and entirely tame pet. How do I prove my dear Snugglepumpkin is innocent and prove the Paladin is the real threat to the village?
If I may, I may be able to answer this.
Tony's menu includes Defamation Sweet Rolls.
Dear Doctor Feelgood,
People and animals have begun to mysteriously disappear around my tower. Now the local villagers are claiming my pet Snugglepumpkin a half Tyrannasaurous Rex and Half Primal Umbral Dragon is responsible for these incidents. I'm convinced its the Local Sheriff who is obviously jealous of my cute and entirely tame pet. How do I prove my dear Snugglepumpkin is innocent and prove the Paladin is the real threat to the village?
Dear Decorus,
It Appears Blaeringr's advice is a sound recommendation and one we would have recommended had we not misplaced our copy of the menu. We are saddened by the zealotry of this paladin that has seen fit to persecute your precious little Snugglepumkin. It is clear to us this Sheriff of injustice has let their fear of the unknown lead them to anger at the disappearances, which further has lead them to hate your innocent pet since they have no further target they can justifiably prove is the culprit. Fear is the mind killer after all, and hate is the path to the dark side of us all.
Try using a group such as TEO, PAX, PTV, KoTC, or even The Seventh Veil to reason with your community and this bigot that has become blinded by their own hubris. If you can convince one of these groups this paladin is being a constant grief they may assist you in your plight and help convince the community this paladin is more trouble then he is worth when they show up to complete your contract.
If that fails M.A.D would be more then happy to approach the paladin on your behalf to remedy the problem with a few potions and gadgets to make him change his mind or otherwise forget about your pet. often times the side effects of such treatment leaves one to be open to all sorts of suggestion like murder.
Misdirection is also another option, turn his attentions to something else, like the group of goblins invading the settlement three hexes over. While The is away hire a group such as the UnNamed to gets the community to vote in your favor.
Of course you could always force an alignment change on him, thus making him lose his abilities and become a blackguard, this would be more then enough to convince any logical settlement he is the real threat.
We wish you much luck in this endeavor and if need be we will protect Snugglepumpkin until such time as you are able to rally the local druids against this paladin for disrupting the natural balance of nature near your tower. We do warn however we might improve your pet before you come to retrieve it.
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Goblin Squad Member
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Dear Dr. Feel Good, I have a big problem in my family I believe you can shed some light on my thoughts, and concerns of how to handle it. My 35 old niece (just a teenager in dwarven lifespan) is in love with a &%$#&@$$% Half-orc rogue. For a Dwarf that is kind of weird! And the worse, she already moved out with him and is living in some dark cave in the black hole hills.
I'm especially worried in reggards of what will happen if they mate! What sort of strange creature(s) are going to be born from such absurd multi-especies crossing? So I want to plot some scheme to brake up this disgusting relationship. Do you have any suggestions?
Dear Dr. Feel Good:
I am a pious warrior of lawful neutral alignment. I don’t share a settlement with evil because of my high moral standards, and I am not yet ready to commit my blade to any deity.
When I used to share a settlement with a lawful good crowd, people assumed that I was a paladin.
I now have a very nice place of my own. However, if I have cleric friends over, I am still perceived as being a paladin. And, if I entertain a necromancer friend, people say I am a blackguard. (I just can’t seem to win!)
Why is it that a lawful warrior cannot have friends over for a simple Three-Dragon Ante game without people thinking there’s some alignment changing going on?
I am a fighter, and I am sick of all this ugly talk. What can I do to stop this vicious gossip?
Frustrated Fighter
Greetings minions!
We are sorry for our absence and our delay in answering your questions recently. A band of Goblins thought it would be a good idea to set fire to our portable alchemist's lab and the resulting explosions disabled all of our magical communications. Rest assured we shall get this rectified soon and we will answer questions again in aproxiamtely one or two more weeks so go ahead and keep them coming!