Good, bad, ugly critiques


RPG Superstar™ General Discussion

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RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

175) Spectacular Curtain
Good: performance based item, interacts with illusion magic, these are territories I appreciate in design. Entry is solidly written, you got the template right, you got the pricing right (which is difficult.)
Bad: Niche item, which hurts it's vote-ability.
Ugly: Some nitpicks like 1st to paragraphs aren't separate ideas thus spacing makes it harder to read. This isn't a superstar idea is a magic movie screen.
Overall: Lower middling for me, I see design potential in your writing but I'd say you'd benefit from more practice and feedback.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

176) Mirror of Trapped Knowledge
Good: Bound djinni in a mirror has a nice fairytale vibe, and you did a nice job describing both the item and its effects.
Bad: Price is way too aggressive for the skill bonus and while legend lore is a good spell and this is where the expense gets justified its a niche spell in a can that you can use 1 a day.
Ugly: 10 minutes for the skill bonus? Divination item? this si a pot device not a superstar concept.
Overall: This item displays competence but no spark of genius. Middling for me, it beats the items that have large design flaws, are poorly written, or outright problematic but it doesn't win over the good items with more pizazz.

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