Good, bad, ugly critiques


RPG Superstar™ General Discussion

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RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

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160) Chronicler’s Boon
Good: Give a vibe of an old power I loved from 2nd ed Psionic handbook that allowed you to do something similar called object read.
Bad: Being familiar with the entry I can say I've seen this done with more polish.
Ugly: 2 lovely breakable orbs wonder what that does or how hard, we also have Int checks which seems sloppy should be either a skill check or better a will save to process what you've seen.
Overall: This isn't a superstar concept and there are some mechanical issues. Worse a DM has to come up with building histories and makes a headache for him everytime your player uses these. This is the damming part for me and makes this a cullable item.

161) Swarmbane Gauntlets
Good: You designed in a space of need and I like the gauntlets tham makes the blade vibrate and what not.
Bad: Niche, there's no use outside damaging a swarm.
Ugly: Drawbacks take this from niche to not even useful in its niche.
Overall: Cullable for me.

(Cheepy I will look at your repost at some point but this task is exhaustive enough without repeats)

162) Ego Shroud
Good: An item that will make my otherwise useful but completely obnoxious sword to STFU!
Bad: Doesn't effect artifacts? Maybe it should have a real hard time doing so or has a lesser effect but for 60k I want an effect in this space.
Ugly: Somewhat niche design space which isn't very superstar.
Overall: Middling for me.

163) Codex Soma
Good: Awesome effects and super creative, spellbook you can't lose and lets you call up niche spells when you need them.
Bad: I want a limitation that a spellcaster can only have one of these.
Ugly: What happens to a non caster, looks like nothing if its nothing I'm slightly less happy with this.
Overall: This made my top 32 glad you posted it. It might be more utility than superstar but its close in my opinion this is superstar.

164) Mage’s Battlecloak
Good: I know a player who would love the crap out of this he had a character that took feats to convince people he was just a BDF.
Bad: Slightly niche and DMs might not really give much benefit depends on DM.
Ugly: Cool utility still not superstar idea
Overall: this is a critique of the edited version middling for me.

That's caught up...

Liberty's Edge

GM_Solspiral wrote:


161) Swarmbane Gauntlets
Good: You designed in a space of need and I like the gauntlets tham makes the blade vibrate and what not.
Bad: Niche, there's no use outside damaging a swarm.
Ugly: Drawbacks take this from niche to not even useful in its niche.
Overall: Cullable for me.

Really? Ouch. That’s pretty brutal. That means you have lumped this item in with all the items where people basically didn’t read any of the rules and probably didn’t know any Pathfinder rules, could hardly write a readable sentence, etc. Because of one mechanical element that you disagreed with, where otherwise you really enjoyed this item? I can see that fatal flaw making this item miss the top 32, or even the top 89 (although it did make the top 89), but cullable? Really?

Liberty's Edge

Ok, I didn’t want to really get into an argument about all this, because I wanted to focus on positive stuff and all that, but several folks have dinged the Swarmbane Gauntlets for the fortitude save and the fact their weapon could take damage while attacking a swarm.

One person even went so far as to say that the item was not even useful in its niche because of this drawback and was cullable because of it (the item made the top 89 by the way).

But lets look at the math. I’ll caveat this, by saying that requiring voters and judges who are looking at 10’s to 100’s of items shouldn’t be required to do the math while in the voting process. I myself made a few snap judgments on items because of something I felt was overpowered, that ended up the math worked. But if during the feedback process, you are going to make comments like, “this item is cullable in my opinion,” because you didn’t take the time to do the math, shame on you. I can handle the fact my item has flaws and didn’t make the cut. I can’t handle off-the-cuff comments like this when the person isn’t willing to do any math to justify such a hard and crass comment.

Lets look at the item itself.

Quote:

Swarmbane Gauntlets

Aura faint transmutation; CL 3rd
Slot hands; Price 7,560 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
This pair of light gauntlets, crafted from thousands of carnelian beetle carapaces, hums with a nearly imperceptible vibration.

The wearer may ring a gauntlet against their weapon, causing the weapon to violently vibrate. The vibration acts as an area effect, allowing the wearer to damage a swarm with the weapon for up to 10 rounds per day. The rounds need not be used consecutively. Due to the violent vibrations, the wearer takes a -2 penalty to hit while using the gauntlets.

The wearer, however, must make a Fortitude saving throw (DC 14) for the weapon every time it does damage to a swarm or the weapon takes an equal amount of damage. These gauntlets may not be used to cause unarmed attacks or natural weapons to affect swarms.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, kinetic reverberation; Cost 3,780 gp

Many have commented that it doesn’t note how the weapon takes the damage. Precedent in Pathfinder indicates that if it doesn’t list how things work differently, then it works normally. In this case, the weapon would take damage normally. Which means its hardness would apply.

A one-handed weapon has 10 hardness and 5 hit points with a +2 Fortitude save.

Let’s assume the character is a 4th level Fighter with a 20 Strength and weapon specialization (no need to power attack, bulls strength or enlarge or whatever else when fighting a swarm, as they usually have minor amount of hit points and will die quickly if you have the means to hurt them). A longsword would do 1d8 + 7 damage. Average damage and you barely even get through the hardness of your weapon. Two shy of max damage and you destroy it. A dagger has the same hardness, but only 2 hit points, but only does 1d4 +5 (assuming the same fighter does not have weapon specialization on his rarely used back-up dagger) so max damage would never get through the hardness. We will get to why using normal daggers would be a good idea later on.

Let’s assume a 7th level character who has an average assumed wealth of 23,500gp, could easily afford these gauntlets, a +2 weapon and +2 armor and still have approximately 3,000gp left over for a few other items (cloak of resistance +1 and ring of protection +1).

A +2 weapon would increase that Fortitude save to +5 (+2 + ½ caster level of 6 – CL of weapons with just enhancement bonuses is 3 x the bonus).

A DC 14 Fortitude save would be made better than 50% of the time with a +2 weapon.

Additionally, a +2 weapon would add +4 to the hardness, for a hardness of 14; add +20 hps for 25 hit points. The longsword above would do 1d8 +9 damage and would need to do 2 shy of max damage to do anything to the weapon, and it would require 5 failed saves and4 max damages and one of 15 or more to just break the weapon. Not very likely before you can repair damage to the weapon. A dagger, again, doing 1d4 + 7 would never ever get through the hardness of the weapon.

The cost of alchemists fire (1d6 damage) = 50gp, and these are one shot.
The cost of a normal dagger = 2gp

These gauntlets will never damage the dagger.

Although I agree, the item in its current write-up, one could argue that the 50% extra damage the swarm takes for the weapon being considered an area of effect, would apply to the weapon. So a dagger would have a better chance of destroying itself.

But 2gp for a one-shot dagger is better than 50gp for one-shot alchemists fire.

50 daggers for 100gp is also a better value than 50 charges of a CL 5 burning hands wand.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

Bbauzh ap Aghauzh wrote:
Really? Ouch. That’s pretty brutal. That means you have lumped this item in with all the items where people basically didn’t read any of the rules and probably didn’t know any Pathfinder rules, could hardly write a readable sentence, etc. Because of one mechanical element that you disagreed with, where otherwise you really enjoyed this item? I can see that fatal flaw making this item miss the top 32, or even the top 89 (although it did make the top 89), but cullable? Really?

These err on the side of brutal but let me make sure I read these right. Wearing your gauntlets I'll suffer a -2 b/c they vibrate like crazy which allows me to damage swarms meaning that outside of fighting swarms these are essentially cursed and I'm not going to wear them.

So when a swarm does come out I now have to dig these out of my pack (wasting actions) and there's a chance that when I do damage the swarms I'm taking the same damage? I'm not rereading your entry as I respond to this, so this is from memory. You prolly threw a activation mechanic on these but still the only niche is these damage swarms. Mind you a vibrating blade should prolly do more damage regardless of target (sure did in say star wars.)

You concept was sound though not superstar in my opinion and you're execution to me was what ruined these. OK rereading maybe not cullable but I'm still going to say lower middling at best. Reviews are subjective, you made the top 89 so congrats but that just means that you're better than 50% positive on the votes, I am not saying you have no potential because the first line is one of the better descriptions I read (that's from memory red beetles kind sewn together but thye move when activated) but for me mechanics are very important and I'll vote down an item that's OP or semi cursed over one that has a benefit but is poorly written.

Liberty's Edge

GM_Solspiral wrote:
Bbauzh ap Aghauzh wrote:
Really? Ouch. That’s pretty brutal. That means you have lumped this item in with all the items where people basically didn’t read any of the rules and probably didn’t know any Pathfinder rules, could hardly write a readable sentence, etc. Because of one mechanical element that you disagreed with, where otherwise you really enjoyed this item? I can see that fatal flaw making this item miss the top 32, or even the top 89 (although it did make the top 89), but cullable? Really?

These err on the side of brutal but let me make sure I read these right. Wearing your gauntlets I'll suffer a -2 b/c they vibrate like crazy which allows me to damage swarms meaning that outside of fighting swarms these are essentially cursed and I'm not going to wear them.

You apparently didn't read the item very carefully. Can't blame you entirely for that, as you read through what now, 160 items and gave critiques on all of them? That isn't including the thousands you looked through while voting and all that. But if you are going to make extremely harsh comments, I'd expect you to at least put in a little bit of work in making sure the item works the way you think it does.

The item very clearly states:

“…causing the weapon to violently vibrate.” and “…the wearer takes a -2 penalty to hit while using the gauntlets.”

The weapon vibrates violently, not the gauntlets.

And the wearer takes the penalty while using not while wearing.

So you don't perpetually get a -2 just because you wear the gauntlets. And presumably you would never use them unless fighting a swarm.

Liberty's Edge

GM_Solspiral wrote:


You concept was sound though not superstar in my opinion and you're execution to me was what ruined these.

That's a fair statement. The judges obviously thought so as well, otherwise I'd be in the top 32. But declaring the items cullable because you didn't take the time to understand the item to me is not fair.

The item is only 156 words, and the sentence construction is not very complex. So the only thing I can think is, you basically skimmed the item, rather than really read it to understand it, and made a snap judgment based off the skimming.

RPG Superstar 2009 Top 16, 2012 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka Epic Meepo

Bbauzh ap Aghauzh wrote:
But lets look at the math. I’ll caveat this, by saying that requiring voters and judges who are looking at 10’s to 100’s of items shouldn’t be required to do the math while in the voting process.

You're lucky the voters and judges aren't required to do the math. If they were, your item would have been culled for sure.

The swarmbane clasp from the PRD does everything the swarmbane gauntlets do, any number of rounds per day, even if you're using natural weapons or unarmed strikes, with no chance of damaging your weapon, while also providing a defensive benefit, all for less than half the price of the gauntlets.

Anyone who searches the PRD for "swarmbane" can do the pricing math for themselves. The swarmbane gauntlets are an overpriced alternative to an existing item that does everything the gauntlets do, only better.

Liberty's Edge

Eric Morton wrote:
Bbauzh ap Aghauzh wrote:
But lets look at the math. I’ll caveat this, by saying that requiring voters and judges who are looking at 10’s to 100’s of items shouldn’t be required to do the math while in the voting process.

You're lucky the voters and judges aren't required to do the math. If they were, your item would have been culled for sure.

The swarmbane clasp from the PRD does everything the swarmbane gauntlets do, any number of rounds per day, even if you're using natural weapons or unarmed strikes, with no chance of damaging your weapon, while also providing a defensive benefit, all for less than half the price of the gauntlets.

Anyone who searches the PRD for "swarmbane" can do the pricing math for themselves. The swarmbane gauntlets are an overpriced alternative to an existing item that does everything the gauntlets do, only better.

Chuckle… I’m not debating that my item should have made the top 32. I’m not.

I was initially disappointed. But generally agree with most everyone’s comments on its fatal flaw.

But I think that saying, “this item should have been culled,” no matter the reasoning, is ultimately incredibly and unnecessarily harsh. It’s like saying, “your item is no better than all those items that didn’t follow the template, couldn’t write a cohesive sentence, and all that.” That the pricing was off, and that it didn’t do something as well as a cheaper item, doesn’t take away from the fact that the template was flawless, the writing evocative (as noted by others reviewing said item), and other such things.

I’m ONLY hammering on the reviewer here based on the fact that he said, “this item should have been culled.” That is not constructive, and is indeed more Simon Cowell-esque mean than anything else.

That’s my beef. So jump on me all you want about what I’m saying, and come up with more reasons all you want why the item “should have been culled.” But that’s a very mean, nasty, and unnecessary type of criticism.

All the other criticism of my item, even by this reviewer, is well received and will be used to make a better item next year.

Sczarni RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32 , Champion Voter Season 6, Champion Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Champion Voter Season 9

Eric Morton wrote:

The swarmbane clasp from the PRD does everything the swarmbane gauntlets do, any number of rounds per day, even if you're using natural weapons or unarmed strikes, with no chance of damaging your weapon, while also providing a defensive benefit, all for less than half the price of the gauntlets.

Anyone who searches the PRD for "swarmbane" can do the pricing math for themselves. The swarmbane gauntlets are an overpriced alternative to an existing item that does everything the gauntlets do, only better.

To be fair, UE wasn't added to the PRD until after submission deadline. I almost did a swarm item (again {I like swarms}) until I read through UE. UE is also where I based the format for my items description. Shouldn't have done that...

Liberty's Edge

And good call on the clasp. I forgot to look up the swarmbane in the PRD, even though I had thoughts about doing so. Might have changed my mind about doing this item at all.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

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Bbauzh ap Aghauzh you are also the first to react negatively to my critiques. They are not intended to be personal attacks they are there to help make you better. Looking through the thread you had allot of positive reviews so this one probably came as a shock, to be honest I had no idea you were top 89 nor did I read the other reviews until now as I wouldn't want to lose my objectivity. The only other reviews I have read are for my item, I will eventually read the whole thread once things calm down.

Some free advice, don't be that guy. The guy that can't take negative feedback or the guy that calls out every negative review. You need a thick skin in any creative endeavor as opinons are highly subjective.

To avoid future misunderstandings...

How I critique:

I look at your item, read it once maybe twice, three times if its worth it to me. I review like I would vote, what's good, what's bad, what's my biggest objection overall. I try to write these in 5 minutes or less, given that there have been 200 and counting (reviewed top 32 items and most of the archetypes) I think this is fair. This is also why my entries are riddled with typos and also why when asked I will clarify.

My perspective is DM 1st, player 2nd. For me overpowered is worse than underpowered, but I also dislike anything that takes away from the story. Items are more likely to get my vote if there's a story in the item itself or inspiration for one. As a aspiring writer I look for good writing, as a somewhat strict DM I look closely at mechanics, as an individual highly likely to visualize descriptive plus disturbing when I'm not expecting it will cause a reaction.

I am very opinionated and will say what I think in direct language. Sometimes I spend extra time on what I like or do not like because I see something there behind the entry I want to expore.

I'm also noting a reviewer's fatigue just as voter's fatigue was a real thing for me. Does this make the reviews less valid somehow? Do I owe it to anyone to take me sweet time and give everything the same read with fresh eyes that maybe the ones on friday got? I would say no, while that would be fair life isn't fair, voters are going to keep voting even when they are tired. The risk is a possibly more honest and likely harsher appraisal.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

Bbauzh ap Aghauzh wrote:
I’m ONLY hammering on the reviewer here based on the fact that he said, “this item should have been culled.” That is not constructive, and is indeed more Simon Cowell-esque mean than anything else.

Thank you for the nice compliment! Simon Cowell was the only judge on that show with any sort of integrity what-so-ever. Real editors, real auditions, and real critics do not give a s*#t about your feelings. Unfortunately at some point, parents of the past couple of generations got, into this participation trophy mentality this don't keep score in sports mentality. I've said it before and I'll say it again if you put yourself in a bubble you will begin to like the smell of your own farts.

Next someone is going to compare me to Gordon Ramsey, please do he's another keeper of the truth. I've paraphrased him twice on these boards.

Liberty's Edge

B.S. Randy Jackson is just as truthful on his critiques, yet he wasn’t downright mean like Simon was. Simon (and Gordon Ramsay) said the things he said, was gerrymandering for the Jerry Springer-esque, lowest common denominator crowd. For the people who enjoy watching a Brit insult someone else. But the way they insult people (and its insulting, not critique) is not integrity, its just mean. Yeah, Paula and Steven, and J.Lo and now Mariah, Niki, and Keith have a hard time being blunt. Randy still says, “That was terrible.”

But you start off with, saying you liked the theme, you liked the intro sentence as evocative and interesting, and then you say you felt like the damage to the weapon made it useless (showed with my math how that was wrong), and then said it should have been culled.

Flat out, mean and unnecessary. You could have easily said, “this was your fatal flaw and the reason your item didn’t make it, and why I felt it wasn’t worth the top 89 it got.” Fine, I can handle that.

But we aren’t food critics in high society here. We aren’t trying to find popularity for being mean. You and I are both wanna-be writers who are trying to make it as potential free-lancers. Truth and bluntness, fine. But mean? No thank you.

Liberty's Edge

Most of the other reviews I got were almost exactly what you said. Minus the, “this item should have been culled.” I took those comments in stride. I agree with them. Especially now seeing the Swarmbane Clasp, which now I’m relieved to find out I didn’t just miss (it wasn’t available via PRD to see prior to the submission).

I’m sorry if you don’t like it that I’ve called you mean. But there it is. I have learned that if I don’t stand up for myself when someone is being unnecessarily mean, they will do so again, and again, and again.

For what its worth, I agree with you on what you felt was bad about the item. Especially seeing that 3 to 5 people all pretty much said the same thing.

Despite making the top 89, I didn’t get a single mention in the (this is my favorite not in the top 32) thread. So I know my item was not as popular as the top 60 or top 40 were.

Again, my reaction to your negative feedback is not in response to the fact it was negative feedback. But rather because you essentially threw out, in this year’s contest, what is probably the worst insult you could have. “Your item should have been culled.” That’s brutal fella. And it was unnecessary.

Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7

Just want to say thank you for the time and effort in providing feedback for everyone. I do not think I would have made my Fort save vs. Reviewer Fatigue. You were spot on about my item being non-descript, which I also realized during voting.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

You're far from the first I've said is cullable, read the thread I've actually said worse. I told one writer I had to rewrite his review because his item basically pissed me off that much, and I realized I crossed a line. In another review the item was basically a magic ball of yarn that made people act like cats, I actually felt a little bad when I realized his item wasn't a joke and he was sincerely looking for constructive criticism. Ultimately I gave it.

I'm not pandering to anyone, I'm doing these because in my opinon everyone that asks for it deserves honest feedback. Most reviewers that are tackling the task of reviewing everyone are either taking allot more time, and the last pages won't see anything for weeks, or they get 1 sentence. There's value there, but I'm writing these at a frenetic pace and giving 4 bullet points.

Am I telling you you suck? No I'm not, compared to others I've seen I'd put your item in the bottom 25%, that is what cullable for me means. To be fair not everything that made the top 32 would have made my top 32, I thought at least 3 of the items were overpowered. Takes nothing away from them they made top 32 nor does the fact that I would consider your item bottom 25% mean you were culled, you made the top 89.

Did you have an objection to my other reviews before you read yours? Am I just a mean SOB reviewer? Since you brought up other posts everyone else seems pretty happy, or if they aren't they are calm enough about it to let it go.

RPG Superstar 2009 Top 16, 2012 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka Epic Meepo

Thomas LeBlanc wrote:
To be fair, UE wasn't added to the PRD until after submission deadline.

Fair enough. I stand corrected. A search of the PRD would not have turned up the full text of the swarmbane clasp in time for Superstar.

A search of the forums would have turned commentary about the item, though, and the swarmbane clasp was posted in full on d20pfsrd.org well before the deadline. (I went to d20pfsrd.org to skim through the items from UE before writing my own, so I know they were posted there.)

Liberty's Edge

Eric Morton wrote:
Thomas LeBlanc wrote:
To be fair, UE wasn't added to the PRD until after submission deadline.

Fair enough. I stand corrected. A search of the PRD would not have turned up the full text of the swarmbane clasp in time for Superstar.

A search of the forums would have turned commentary about the item, though, and the swarmbane clasp was posted in full on d20pfsrd.org well before the deadline. (I went to d20pfsrd.org to skim through the items from UE before writing my own, so I know they were posted there.)

For what its worth, I refuse to read d20pfsrd.org. I am mostly into Pathfinder Society stuff, and since that site is not official Paizo and has 3rd party stuff, I refuse to use it, ever.

That's my own fault though when not doing a Pathfinder Society exercise.

Liberty's Edge

GM_Solspiral wrote:

You're far from the first I've said is cullable, read the thread I've actually said worse. I told one writer I had to rewrite his review because his item basically pissed me off that much, and I realized I crossed a line. In another review the item was basically a magic ball of yarn that made people act like cats, I actually felt a little bad when I realized his item wasn't a joke and he was sincerely looking for constructive criticism. Ultimately I gave it.

I'm not pandering to anyone, I'm doing these because in my opinon everyone that asks for it deserves honest feedback. Most reviewers that are tackling the task of reviewing everyone are either taking allot more time, and the last pages won't see anything for weeks, or they get 1 sentence. There's value there, but I'm writing these at a frenetic pace and giving 4 bullet points.

Am I telling you you suck? No I'm not, compared to others I've seen I'd put your item in the bottom 25%, that is what cullable for me means. To be fair not everything that made the top 32 would have made my top 32, I thought at least 3 of the items were overpowered. Takes nothing away from them they made top 32 nor does the fact that I would consider your item bottom 25% mean you were culled, you made the top 89.

Did you have an objection to my other reviews before you read yours? Am I just a mean SOB reviewer? Since you brought up other posts everyone else seems pretty happy, or if they aren't they are calm enough about it to let it go.

I haven't read everything yet. I took a week or so off of RPGSS to let my disappointment die down before I engaged in the process again. Largely it worked, as I'm mostly able to objectively view things without the sting of disappointment.

But yes, if I'd read your reviews of other folks before I read my own, I'd have called you out on being pretty brutal on them as well.

You'll note, the only feedback from you that I disagreed with, was the "your item should have been culled." statement. It is an unnecessary distinction. But that's my opinion. Carry on however you wish.

Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Maps, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Guys, chill. Rather than hit each other with baseball bat sized posts, be the better designers.

I one year committed the act of submitting an severely alliterates named item, that had horrendous permutation via turning it inside out, tapping the sides, rotating clockwise and anti clockwise.

The longest review sentence from the judges was something like...

"Rejected. I'm going home, this has given me a headache!"

I swallowed my pride and really looked at going from gamer boy designer to game designer. I wanted to prove to myself that I was better than that. I spent the year practicing in the blazing 9.

Net result, not one person, including the judges or top 32 pounced on my item saying "cull it". It's my first year where after the fact i am proud of my item and believe it solid. I look at the reviews and have learnt I now need to make more "oh, shiny" on top.

I believe that as a game designer freelancing, sometimes you will get terse replies, even a no, maybe not even that as some only respond to successful submissions. So this is your great opportunity to show professionalism and dedication to you craft/dream. Rise above, search within, learn.

I will be practicing again in the inferno that is blazing 9 this year. My design on reflection was too wordy and suffered from working out the maths. I am going to resolve that - or break another computer trying.

Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Maps, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Sorry for the rubbish text, I'm on auto correct it wrongly iPad, grrrr.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

I will carry on because overall I'm learning allot by reviewing and frankly most everyone that has commented on the reviews has come in to thank me or ask for a little more clarity.

Anthony I'm looking forward to the Blazing 9, really I am. Workshops = awesome way to learn.

I will continue be a bruatlly honest critquing machine, steel sharpens steel.


I'm hoping I can do a better job of sticking to the boards so I can work along side you guys in the Blazing 9. I made a ton of mistakes in my first year trying out, and I want to knock out those imperfections as much as I can so that I can deliver a higher quality product next year.

Smiths must remove the dross to make their metals pure. It seems like a lofty goal, but I'm hoping to remove some of my own dross, so that I can achieve a stronger level of creativity for next year's competition.

Sczarni RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32 , Champion Voter Season 6, Champion Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Champion Voter Season 9

Matthew D. Correll wrote:
Smiths must remove the dross to make their metals pure. It seems like a lofty goal, but I'm hoping to remove some of my own dross, so that I can achieve a stronger level of creativity for next year's competition.

So that is what the D in your name stands for...


Thomas LeBlanc wrote:
Matthew D. Correll wrote:
Smiths must remove the dross to make their metals pure. It seems like a lofty goal, but I'm hoping to remove some of my own dross, so that I can achieve a stronger level of creativity for next year's competition.
So that is what the D in your name stands for...

Aw Dang! My secret's out!

You win this round, LeBlanc!

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

Page 15 Begins here:

165) Manacles of Prisoner Transfer
Good: Fits a role in game, could be a good plot device centric item. As a DM I could use these in a hook.
Bad: SIAC, and while brevity will help voters decide quickly the description is a little sparse here.
Ugly: Niche that causes arguments. Its practically a trope at the gaming table LG character wants t take prisoners, CN rogue wants to kill and rifle thru pockets, ect
Overall: You're designing to meet a RP need not to create a superstar item, this will award us with functional items but not get you to round 2. As much as I hate to say it and risk yet more butt hurt see ^ I'm going to say these are cullable for me, its missing some creativity and the description is way too sparse.

and we're caught up again!

RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka motteditor

2 people marked this as a favorite.

I hope you guys will stick around for Blazing 9. I have a suggestion I plan to throw out that I think/hope will make it a lot more fun, but I'm holding onto it until the competition's over.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

166) Dimensional Stable
Good: As a DM and player I hate annoying details that slow down a game. No one wants to deal with what the heroes ate for dinner, or deal with every copper ram at my table and this is perfect for that. I have a female marshal character with mounted feats that would love this item, and it'll be less of a headache for both of us if the player gets this.
Bad: Pricing seems low for what it does as it apparently makes upkeep of a mount = 0
Ugly: Yeah this isn't a superstar idea, I also would like this to be something other than a toy. Amulet with a barn charm, standard with a picture of a stable, something less weird item for a grown up to have.
Overall: Functional, middling execution for me but usable with very little alteration so middling for me.

167)Cuff of the Feral Lord
Good: I know players where if they do not have the option of a pet or animal companion thru a class feature they still go out of their way to buy hunting dogs and pay careful attention to their mounts. For some folk items for animal is something they hunger for and this design space has big hungry audience so smart choice,
Bad: So theses are cufflinks? Physical description is a little vague for me.
Ugly: Even trades should be free or maybe you can do them longer, limited trades for favorable trade in a limited duration would make these sexy. Like if you could swap abilities all day but for a brief time its not a swap you both gain from the item.
Overall: These are cool enough to be considered upper middle to top 100 territory for me.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

Jacob W. Michaels wrote:
I hope you guys will stick around for Blazing 9. I have a suggestion I plan to throw out that I think/hope will make it a lot more fun, but I'm holding onto it until the competition's over.

I have ideas for that as well... once the true competition is over though.

Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Maps, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Jacob W. Michaels wrote:
I hope you guys will stick around for Blazing 9. I have a suggestion I plan to throw out that I think/hope will make it a lot more fun, but I'm holding onto it until the competition's over.

Nope, no beer... I want to do creative not weird or wacky :p

RPG Superstar 2015 Top 8 , Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8 aka DeathQuaker

Thanks, Solspiral, the point about upkeep is a good one with regards to pricing.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

168) Condensing Alembic
Good: Like the price point and the core idea is fun (and actually got in top 32 as a mug before)
Bad: So not only can I lose my potions (bad enough) but they will deal me damage adding injury to insult! The drawbacks are a big deal here.
Ugly: The benefit goes away after 24 hrs! Thsi is not a superstar execution, the idea is solid and actually has gotten in the door before.
Overall: Lower middling for me, as the above problems do not touch on the niche nature of this.

Counting the top 32 you are my 200th item review! You win a No PRize, Huzzah!


Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber
GM_Solspiral wrote:


163) Codex Soma
Good: Awesome effects and super creative, spellbook you can't lose and lets you call up niche spells when you need them.
Bad: I want a limitation that a spellcaster can only have one of these.
Ugly: What happens to a non caster, looks like nothing if its nothing I'm slightly less happy with this.
Overall: This made my top 32 glad you posted it. It might be more utility than superstar but its close in my opinion this is superstar.

Thanks for the review GMSS, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

I'll respond to each of your points.
Good: Thank you. I liked the idea that your character can't lose it, but what really interested me was the idea of an enemy caster with secret (some passcode, a true name or a unique spell that is the PCs' only hope) written in it among his/her spells. But the only ways they can get it from said NPC is to either convince him/her to give it over willingly (fat chance) or slay them.

Bad: Hmm, good point. I hadn't thought of that, since it takes up the chest slot, but I suppose a wizard could have multiples of these and only be using one at a time in his chest slot. Potential balance issue there. Thanks for pointing that out.

Ugly: Yes, it was specifically designed for casters only, and more specifically for arcane casters. In the hands of a non-caster or a divine caster, it's pretty useless. Sorry.

Overall: Once again, thank you. I am honored to have made your top 32! And thank you very much for taking the time to give your review. Happy gaming!

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

169) Garments of the Creeper
Good: Like that these give you the powers of a shadow and there's a definate cool factor here.
Bad: Wouldn't it be more like a shadow rock? these are hardly garments.
Ugly: clear Venom inspiration, then mechanics are mostly off a monster entry, neither scream superstar for me.
Overall: Cool idea but I need a more inspired execution- break away form the monster entry a bit more, also break up your wall of text makes the entry easier to read for the voters. This is middling for me.

Dedicated Voter Season 6

You missed mine hiding at the bottom of page 13. If you don't mind good sir.

Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8

Thanks a ton Sols. I much appreciate it!

Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7

Quote:

150) Monastic Sheathe

Good: great name, cool visuals and concept, and best of all you're giving the monk more options and love which is a design space that needs help.
Bad: Anyone unfamiliar with rules described are not going to look them up without a link.
Ugly: while I appreciate a class specific item, its a tough one to get to be regarded as a superstar item.
Overall: Upper middling to top 100 for me, I like this item allot.

Thank you GM Solspiral; I'm very satisfied with the reviews that the item has received.

The Exchange

GM_Solspiral wrote:

151)Erastil’s Footprints

Ugly: I feel like these can use a Woodland stride mechanic based on what they already do.

Whoops. I don't think I made it explicit enough that the undergrowth springs up immediately after the wearer enters a square.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

The_Scourge wrote:
You missed mine hiding at the bottom of page 13. If you don't mind good sir.

I see why I missed it it was the quotes border, I assumed it was a review! Dorry about that I pride myself on giving everyone feedback in this contest. If there's anyone else I missed speak up!

170) Jaws of Reptilian Thrashing
Good: While I didn't have these in my top 32 I liked them enough for my own personal keep folder (I snagged a bunch of items for possible later use.) I was actually considering adding a small tribe of barbarians with these as a sacred item and a croc theme to my kingmaker game.
Bad: At the price point you give this should prolly have some sort of attach penalty. Also, there should be a mechanic if the wearer already has a bit attack like say a half orc with the appropriate feat! You had word count left over use it wisely!
Ugly: Its a bite and a monster feat/attack, needs a little more bling for superstar.
Overall: I still love it, would make my top 100 this year for sure. Price seems very cheap for what it does though, I am making it about 25k in my game as it grants an extra attack.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

MOGG LOVED IT TOO WANTS TO BITE PEOPLE THEN ROLL THEM TO DEAD!

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

Page 16 begins here

171) Bracers of Extreem Effort
Good: Fun Item for playing with with crit and fumble range, hats off to you for that I think it was clever for a set of bracers.
Bad: You misspelled EXTREME which will get you into all sorts of trouble with the Doritos, Taco Bell, and Mountain Dew people. In all seriousness use the preview button, ad spell checker to avoid such issues.
Ugly: Treat 15-20 as a Crit, 1-5 as a bumble. Treating as a Nat 20 means it its if it normally doesn't, it also has interactions with a variety of other items. There's some natural balance to your item but it can be broken fairly easily. No mention of how it interacts with crit feats which means everyone pursuing those builds wants these.
Overall: Lower end of middling for me, good first try tough.

Dedicated Voter Season 6

Thanks very much Solspiral. I had priced it based on a couple items that grant bite attacks, so I'm not sure if upping the price is the way to go, and there is a line in there about improving existing bite attacks, but yeah, I really love the item, just couldn't think of anything to give it extra oomf without making it silly.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

The_Scourge wrote:
Thanks very much Solspiral. I had priced it based on a couple items that grant bite attacks, so I'm not sure if upping the price is the way to go, and there is a line in there about improving existing bite attacks, but yeah, I really love the item, just couldn't think of anything to give it extra oomf without making it silly.

I was thinking about this, bonus if in or recently in water

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

172) Synergistic Extract of Haunts
Good: Great description, powers seem well in hand.
Bad: drawbacks seem unnecessary.
Ugly: Very specific and likely the most niche item I've seen this year. Its pretty much campaign specific.
Overall: Lower middling to me, there's nothing wrong with it but unless as a DM or player we're dealing with haunts this is just a whole lotta useless.

Star Voter Season 6

You missed my item as well (Toastmaster's Glass) on pg. 14. I've recreated it as best I could on page 16 (or is it 17). The computer I had saved it on is kaput so I had to rely on my older backup of it.Her it is again without formats.

Spoiler:

Toastmaster’s Glass
Aura faint enchantment and transmutation; CL 7th
Slot none; Price 35,000 gp; Weight 1/2 lb.

Description
This simple yet elegant wine glass is the same size of an ordinary wine glass but with only one-quarter of its capacity. A nearly solid depression in its bowl creates the illusion of the glass being full.

Anyone drinking from a toastmaster’s glass is immune to all detrimental effects of inebriation. However, poisons and diseases affect the drinker normally.

Once per day as a Standard Action, the user of a toastmaster’s glass can gain the attention of any number of creatures within 100-foot radius and hold them enthralled as per the enthrall spell for up to 1 hour while granting the user a +20 bonus to Bluff checks to convince them that whatever the user says is true. They are considered to have an attitude of friendly toward the user of the glass. Creatures with 4 or more HD or with a 16 or higher Wisdom score remain aware of their surroundings and have an attitude of indifferent.

If any member of the audience is attacked or subjected to some other overtly hostile act, previously enthralled members become immediately unfriendly toward the user. Each creature with 4 or more HD or with a Wisdom score of 16 or higher becomes hostile.

Any magical effect that would detect the user's lies or force the user to speak the truth automatically fails as long as the user holds the glass aloft.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, enthrall, glibness; Cost 17,500 gp

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

On page 14 you mention what your item was bu didn't post it. Sadly After a few weeks memory fades particularly when it comes to specifics. I remembered seeing the item but us on the reviewers side need the item posted to do our work.

173) Toastmaster’s Glass
Good: 2 effects one is somewhat uncharted territory the other bard-like but fun. The guys playing dwarf stereotypes would kill for this one!
Bad: I feel like there should be a drawback which is weird because I'm generally against those, but the attitude of the crowd should get ugly should you fail that bluff check.
Ugly: So all a rogue needs is one of these to basically get out of being incarcerated ever. Group of guardsmen got me surrounded, lets raise a glass.
Overall: Idea is sound and actually fun, execution is lacking and open for abuse. Lower middling for me.

Horizon Hunters

Pathfinder Rulebook Subscriber
GM_Solspiral wrote:


112) Vigilant Doorkeeper
Good: Awesome name, has a good utility especially as a story item.
Bad: Adventuring parties will not use this very often this costs votes, your audience is looking for items to use at home.
Ugly: The only effect is storing and relaying an image, this doesn't do anything to protect the door or what's behind it.
Overall: Not a superstar concept, really lower end possibly cullable item for me.

I was the one that made the item- and I definitely see your points. I appreciate the honest review! Things like this can only help to make me more prepared for next year, honestly.

I hear a lot of 'not for adventuring parties' and it's true, I was going for a non-adventuring item which really seems to be my biggest downfall. Also I had something like Taldane nobility purchasing the item floating through my head so I didn't reduce the cost more, which, in hindsight, was probably another mistake.

Long and short, it's true, it wasn't a superstar item. But if we don't learn from failure we never move forward, so I have to than kyou earnestly, again!

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

174) Magpie Totem
Good: This item is fun, flavorful, well named, in my opinion correctly priced and somewhat well balanced.
Bad: Its also great for an Innkeeper but the can't be moved more than 5ft a day automatically makes it not an adventurer's item.
Ugly: At the magic shop, "Yeah I'd like the bowl that steals thing please, do you take IOUs"
Overall: Great plot item, nowhere near superstar, middling for me.

Star Voter Season 6

GM_Solspiral wrote:

On page 14 you mention what your item was bu didn't post it. Sadly After a few weeks memory fades particularly when it comes to specifics. I remembered seeing the item but us on the reviewers side need the item posted to do our work.

173) Toastmaster’s Glass
Good: 2 effects one is somewhat uncharted territory the other bard-like but fun. The guys playing dwarf stereotypes would kill for this one!
Bad: I feel like there should be a drawback which is weird because I'm generally against those, but the attitude of the crowd should get ugly should you fail that bluff check.
Ugly: So all a rogue needs is one of these to basically get out of being incarcerated ever. Group of guardsmen got me surrounded, lets raise a glass.
Overall: Idea is sound and actually fun, execution is lacking and open for abuse. Lower middling for me.

Thanks so much for the feedback. I'd debated whether the last part was a bit too over-the-top and should have a save but decided against it at the last minute. I'm not sure a save would have made the item better.

Clearly, wondrous item design is not my forte, yet. :-)

Debby

RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka motteditor

Join us in the Nine Blazing Months thread when it gets started after the competition, Debby. It's lots of fun and will really help hone your designing abilities.

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