Star wars Saga edition. My twi'lek jedi is not a pilot at all, and yet we find ourselves piloting Z-95 ships against TIEs. After several demeaning rounds of getting locked down by competent pilots dogfighting us (which works like wrestling) and us missing every shot, I decide to try out the shields on my ship.
I plow into the poor little unshielded ship. I don't crit, but I easily do enough damage (to both of us) to smash the TIE fighter and its pilot to pieces. My ship is holding together by the seams, and the 40 damage I took was not really a problem.
Nice :) Good idea for a last resort! I've always wanted to build a ramming-ship, but just never sat down and hashed out the math.
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So as a prelude, my group uses house rules for multiple 20's in a row on attacks. Basically, if you roll a 20 on your confirmation roll, keep going, confirm again, and you multiply your crit by your crit value again. Its kind of absurd and we came up with it in high school, but it happens so infrequently that we never really stopped using it.
So I am playing in a friends campaign, and we are about to break open a sealed door, behind which there have been all kinds of warnings about 'dangerous elementals' and the door was literally sealed from our side.
My wayang witch is standing near the back of the party. We all buff with all sorts of spells and abilities as the barbarian breaks open the door. Inside we see this giant, unusual (read not normal) fire elemental. My witch wins initiative, and though he normally debuffs to open combats, I walk a few feet into the room and throw a snowball spell at it. I roll my attack, 20, roll to confirm, 20, roll to confirm, 20, roll to confirm, hit...thats 80d6 cold damage, the dm just looks at me, fine, its dead...My character says in my creepy wayang voice 'Huh, hey whats in those chests overthere?'.
There was much laughter among the players and very much chagrin on the part of the GM.
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In my home brew campaign, 3.0 edition.
Fighter has TWF feat tree going on with a dancing bastard sword.
Just finished off a beholder, when a trap is sprung and the fountain he is standing in opens into an 80' pit, too dark to see into. He makes his save, but at the end of the fight his hands were full so dancing B-sword fell into pit. Wizard was paralyzed still from beholder.
-fighter upon watching his sword fall...
'I dive in.'
wait- what?
Became a kind of running gag, that sword was very important to that character. From then on I would try to take it/ get rid of it. He won. Eventually that character died with the dancing bastard sword in hand.
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During one game session we were facing down an Illithid that had upset my rogue greatly. Two combats before he had drunk down an Elixir of Fire Breath and and really wanted to use it before he exploded. We were using the 2nd Ed rules for the potion, more powerful but more dangerous. I luckily got initiative and ran forward and let him have the fire breath full blast. Quite a bit of damage as he didn't make the save. Now what happened next was a bit of confusion and retconing.
Essentially I ticked off the Illithid enough he let off a lightning bolt that knocked the party to half. The fighter of party let loose a fireball from his Necklace of Fireball, this is when the GM says 'Good idea, I think you'll get one of those back.' Paraphrasing of course, but we stopped for a moment and reminded him what happens when someone who has a Necklace of Fireball fails his saving throw against fire. 'Wait, what?'
The answer of course is Boom, Big Badaboom, if the item fails it's savings throw too. It did and a full necklace detonated around it's neck 'before' the Lightning bolt was fired off. The lesson is large magical explosions sometimes alter the flow of time and GM's should make sure they know all the items a main villain has. As a side note the GM was a bit disappointed he didn't get to eat anyone's brain.
You know what's fun about playing an Eldritch Knight with moderately high AC? Not having to bother with Combat Casting:
[snip]
Round 2
Me: I retrieve an item from my person as a move action. Take your AoO.
GM: Uh, no. Your opponent doesn't care what you are rooting around for this round.
Me: Oh. Ummmm...As a standard action I cast [insert spell here]-
GM AoO - nat 20 annnnndd Confirmed! Too bad its also a greataxe...
Just editing for how my GMs would have run with that from then on. Really there is nothing anyone could yank out of their pocket that would provoke an AoO from any semi-intelligent foe. Going for a potion? I'll wait until you drink that thanks. Spell Component? Ditto on casting that spell.
So as a prelude, my group uses house rules for multiple 20's in a row on attacks. Basically, if you roll a 20 on your confirmation roll, keep going, confirm again, and you multiply your crit by your crit value again. Its kind of absurd and we came up with it in high school, but it happens so infrequently that we never really stopped using it.
So I am playing in a friends campaign, and we are about to break open a sealed door, behind which there have been all kinds of warnings about 'dangerous elementals' and the door was literally sealed from our side.
My wayang witch is standing near the back of the party. We all buff with all sorts of spells and abilities as the barbarian breaks open the door. Inside we see this giant, unusual (read not normal) fire elemental. My witch wins initiative, and though he normally debuffs to open combats, I walk a few feet into the room and throw a snowball spell at it. I roll my attack, 20, roll to confirm, 20, roll to confirm, 20, roll to confirm, hit...thats 80d6 cold damage, the dm just looks at me, fine, its dead...My character says in my creepy wayang voice 'Huh, hey whats in those chests overthere?'.
There was much laughter among the players and very much chagrin on the part of the GM.
I didn't think Elementals were subject to crits?
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I have a strong feeling that Create Pit is unbalanced.
Well yeah, that's why you roll the reflex or you fall in! Slippery slopes. Isn't that the point?
I give the "You do what?" face everytime a player jumps into a create pit to duke it out with all the enemies that fell into it. Especially the one that put on a magical luchador mask before doing it, that was interesting.
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My goblin barbarian was trapped in the hold of a sinking ship, surrounded by dread zombies, after failing the ludicrously easy acrobatic check to slip past them all.
Fortunately he had the Smasher rage power. As everyone was saying 'aw, I'll miss that guy' he tore a hole in the hull of the ship and escaped in the watery chaos.
I loved that game.
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In an AD&D game I ran last year in college, the Kobold thief had a wand of wonder. I have a custom WOW list I use that has 3 charts, with the player rolling a d4 to see what chart they roll on, with a result of 4 having them roll twice.
In the cave of a scrag, the kobold used the wand in front of the scrag's primitive lizardfolk slaves, and rolled a 4. He ended up blasting a hole in the scrag's chest with a combined lightning bolt and fireball as the slaves looked on in awe.
"So I want to see if the lizardmen worship me now."
Wait. What?!
I decided, "Huh. That's weird enough. 3% chance." Then rolled d%... 95.
I ruled that 3 of the 8 now saw the kobold as the chosen one who had been prophesied to lead the lizardfolk out of bondage. Through a lot of work the party ended up convincing the lizardfolk that it was true, and that's how Blargh, Raggle, and Muffin joined the party.
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I rarely have these moments in Pathfinder, since I'm normally running it. But it happens regularly in WoD, usually because we're playing a fairly high power level game where every player is using a different supernatural template, and the GM rarely bothers to actually look at the character I've built.
We needed a utility character and a ranged specialist, and I managed to fill both roles nicely with my Werewolf... turns out that if you spec a totemic fetish specialist properly, you can get some obscene dice pools. The first time I used him in combat, I was confusing everyone by standing back and spending turns activating a bunch of items and shifting into Dalu (near-human form, halfway between human and full wolfman)... right up until the point where I was ready to pull out my desert eagle and join in. There was some jaw dropping and swearing when I explained that yes, I really did roll around 35d10 for my attack roll, and I got to reroll 9s as well as 10s. The GM spent about 15 minutes checking the math after some lucky rolling had me drop a dragon in a single hit. After that explosive introduction, I tended to deliberately try and stay back unless I really had to step in. though the character recently got access to Primal Form (8ft tall at the shoulder direwolf that regens lethal damage every turn), that got a few raised eyebrows as well.
The most recent example for me from Pathfinder was in a game I just started playing in (first game in ages. So excited!). The GM announced that there were bandits sitting around a fire ahead of us, and that we hadn't been noticed yet. The rest of the party announced they were going to be sneaking around the side and getting into position. Meanwhile, I told the GM that I was going to start playing a lute, singing and dance up to them, and that I was activating Inspire Courage on the way (obviously I'm the bard). While the bandits were trying to figure out what the hell I was doing, I cast Chord of Shards and nearly wiped them all out, at which point the rest of the party popped up let fly with crossbows and bows. The rest of the party had been aware of this tactic beforehand... the GM wasn't. Cue a few moments of shocked silence and staring from him, followed by a few minutes of laughter.
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I have a strong feeling that Create Pit is unbalanced.Well yeah, that's why you roll the reflex or you fall in! Slippery slopes. Isn't that the point?
I give the "You do what?" face everytime a player jumps into a create pit to duke it out with all the enemies that fell into it. Especially the one that put on a magical luchador mask before doing it, that was interesting.
And how do you climb out, when you are a monster with low int, no climb skill and no wings, especially at the higher levels. Say, a golem ?
That's an save or die at second level. I find this pretty unbalanced.
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This is actually the story of something a friend did, but he doesn't post here so I'll tell his story.
We were playing D&D 3.5 in the Judges Guild Wilderlands setting. Our party had to acquire an evil crystal that turned out to be in the possession of a dragon.
Before going to the dragon's lair to confront it we'd come into possession of some grenade-like orbs that could cause permanent blindness on a failed save (I don't remember the actual name of these things). We decided to try throwing all of the orbs at the dragon in the hope that it might actually fail its save against one of them.
We crept into the cave, and all at the same time hurled our orbs at the dragon. The first orb hit - and the DM rolled a 1 on the dragon's saving throw.
I don't know why the DM continued, but he let the rest of us throw our orbs too, and on a second save he rolled a 1 again!
With the dragon blinded, our gnome beguiler allowed himself to be swallowed by the dragon, as we'd determined the evil crystal we were after was inside it. Once inside, the DM ruled that he had enough time before the dragon's stomach acid started to harm him to pull out his bronze griffin 'figurine of wondrous power' and command it to start clawing its way out from inside the dragon. Then he cast 'etherealnes' on himself so he wouldn't be injured by being in the dragon's digestive system.
When the bronze griffin finally burst out of the dragon's stomach, it came flying out with the gnome beguiler on its back clutching the crystal, like the cover art from some heavy metal album.
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Incredulous DM
So just to be clear, you are going to have sex with the naga for safe passage? It may kill you.
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Elven bard with a bow, facing trolls. Roll a bow attack. Roll a twenty. Confirm the crit, we're using crit cards so I take one. "Knock back. Opponent takes double damage and is knocked directly back 1d6 squares."
Roll my damage. Nice damage. Thinking "pretty good shot". Then gm has me roll for the knock back. Its a six. Square one square two square three, square four square five ... Edge of a cliff ...
So, basically fired an arrow at really long range, critter did damage, and knocked the troll back thirty feet off the edge of a cliff to spat on the ground. Oh. And he had just been acid splashed. ...
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NIIIIICE.
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NIIIIICE.
We got into that combat well before we were supposed to be ready for it(kingmaker). But through really creative action from our battlefield control specialist with pits grease and other such, some lucky crits(such as that one) and clever use of narrow staircases and other features of the battleground. Beat it.
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My first character ever is a Half-Orc Ranger with a level of Barbarian. The party before I showed up, made an enemy of a Rogue that had sold the party out. He has repeatedly attacked our group on multiple occasions, but always got away. This is about when he first encountered my Half-Orc.
He thought he would be clever by using a Wand of Blink to attack us with his Wand of Fireball in the middle of Waterdeep, and then proceed to play Fireball Sneak Attack with us.
I was having none of it.
I told the DM, "I go after him."
DM "He Blink'd through the wall..."
Me "Your point? I rage and smash through it." 'Roll Nat 20'
X-Men: The Last Stand had just recently come out, and we'd all seen it together.
Me "I'M THE JUGGERNAUT!"
Not only did I chase him through a wall, the guy used a full attack-sneak attack on me and hit 3 times and I was still standing. I proceeded to pound him senseless, but he used an item to teleport away before I could kill him. From that point on, he never attacked while I was near.
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In our Legacy of Fire campaign, I'm playing Monk of the Four Winds. He managed to purchase a Rod of Balance that he keeps activated at all times. As we were walking through Ketapesh, a silvery bird goes flying over head. A man we were looking for had one just like it, so I say, "I jump up and catch it"
GM "You what? It's 30 ft in the air!"
Me "Pfft, tell that to mortals" I spent a Ki point to get +20 to my jump check, I already had +23 ish at the time, and then a further +10 from the Rod of Balance, and a roll of 19 let me hit over 70 on my jump check. Rod of Balance lets you jump twice as high as normal.
Me "I jump 35 feet up and grapple the bird."
GM "Wha... fine, roll your grapple" 'Nat 20'
Me "Bwahaha, birdie is mine!"
GM "I hate you..."
You should have leaped up, and balanced on the bird, soaring through the air.
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Back in an old 3.5 game, I was playing a Curst (sorta undead who goes mildly insane at random moments) fighter in a pirate setting. I was with a were-shark kensai and we were on our way to the main hub city. While camping we are attacked by a group of bandits who we quickly dispatch but let one escape so we can track him to their hideout.
Upon reaching the hideout we clear out all of the bandits and investiage the area, it was a small but well furnished cave with a strange set of runes forming the shape of a doorway. We manage to determine through taking some 20's that it's a magic doorway that responds to a specific person or group.
At this point my fighter flips his crazy switch and decides it must work for the bandits so the following exchange occurs.
Me: I pick up one of the corpses.
DM: Um...ok?
Me: I huck it at the wall with the runes around it.
DM: Wait...you throw the corpse?
Me: Yeah.
DM: Ok, make a STR check.
Me: *rolls a nat 20*
DM and my Were-shark Partner: o_O
DM: ....well nothing magical happens, but the bandit corpse splats against the wall and makes a bloody mess.
Me: (in character) well....guess that didn't work.
WS: What the hell was that?
Me: I thought the bandits could go through!
WS: Even the DEAD ones?
Me: Obviously!
Later on we met a character with strange runes embedded in their head. They weren't related to the door we had found, but that didn't stop my guy from trying when he had the chance.
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Hmm... a "wait, whut?" moment in game...
For my girlfriend, she claims thus: In Bastards of Erebus, we were stealthily raiding the bandit camp. I'm not sure if it was in the book or if our GM was just weird, but two of the tieflings were having some boy-boy relations in one of the abandoned buildings when her character, the fetchling rogue, failed her stealth check to sneak up on 'em...
Before they attack, they do the whole "Who are you!? What are you doing here!?"... She asks if she can join in (one seemed interested, the other smacked him upside the head). Combat winds up happening, and we slaughter the both of them (I can imagine one saying to the other in hell 'this is why I wear armor all the time, even during THAT time!')...
So, we go to the main building. Rest of us hide while she tries to pick the lock, and fails. She has one round to hide. She used the fetchling SLA to turn into one of the two tieflings. Door opens up. "What do you want?" "My boyfriend left me!"...
Long story (of the rest of it) short, it worked, she made 30 gold off the gambling table, and got us a lay of the land, and a key.
For myself? I claim this: In a home brew campaign, I was playing a really buff dwarf grappler, decked out with as much AC, HP, Strength, and CMB/CMD as I could muster... We wind up fighting in a mountain stronghold (My dwarf's home, actually, and part of his personal story arc). I manage to bowl through everyone to reach the casty BBEG drow that had taken over the stronghold. A small chase scene ensues, with the party dealing with the second in command anti-paladin, and the minions to prevent them from getting to me as I chased the drow up the tower.
Confrontation at the top! Spells get slung, my dwarf takes some damage, and shrugs it off like the arms of so many exhausted bar wenches. Get right up on him, and grapple success!
But wait, something's wrong. This drow knew this prodigal dwarven son, and knew his weaknesses! Utilizing a spell, the drow began to siphon his life as the spiked dwarf of doom was crushing the life out of him. Worse, the spell kept him locked around the drow! What to do?
"I drag him over to the edge." Success on the roll. Another turn passes. The drow laughs at the weakening dwarf, taunting him with the fact he will die, and the drow will forever own this stronghold.
"I'm locked around him, meaning I couldn't let go if I wanted too, right?" "Yeah." "Alright then... Flint takes the drow, and leaps off the tower with him."
Thanks to a lucky roll, the damn priest goes splat beneath the spiked full-plate clad Flint, very squishy like, in the middle of the battle between the other PCs and the priest's minions. Combat pauses as both sides are stunned. Then, grunting and groaning, Flint staggers to his feet with one hp left, bits of priest flesh, bone, and brain matter dripping and flaking off his spiked armor.
"Alright... Who's next?"
With a successful intimidate check, the foes wet themselves and either surrendered, or ran screaming into the tunnels.... It was a good day.
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DM(me) - The bad guys catch up with you. Their wizard order his bound efreet to "get rid of them!"
(Players quickly make their plan)
Bard- Stoneshape on the archway, I want to close the passageway to prevent the bag guys from coming in.
DM - Hum, you guys know this is the only entrance; therefore your only exit?
Bard - Yeah, it's all cool.
DM - I thought you guys used your only scroll of teleportation to get here?
Wizard - That's correct, but it's all cool.
DM - OK, the entrance collapse, but the efreet already made its way in (as you can see on the mat here).
Wizard - Good, I attract his attention over here and ask him to plane-shift us to the elemental plane of fire.
DM - you... you do what?
Wizard, druid and Bard - Yeah, we try to convince him that this way he'll have gotten "rid" of us. We ask for his protection once we get there. Our plan is to get back to the volcano by the rift from there.
DM - *seeing this as too good of story twist and RP opportunity to find argue* Ok, the efreet lowers his falchion; "I'm listening", he says...
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Me: "I cast remove disease on the Otyugh."
This is really more of an example of how crazy 4e can get with daily powers, epic powers and synergies from items, but we were exploring an ancient temple en route to trying to find and defeat a godslayer when we opened a door and stumbled into a beholder tyrant. My ranger won initiative.
For months our group had been sort of wagering what my ranger could do in terms of pure damage in one round if I pulled out all the stops and used every thing I could possibly use in one round.
So I did. To make a long story short, the beholder tyrant was pretty much diced beholder stew by the end of my round. The rest of the party didn't even have time to enter the room. Just rolling the dice for that one attack alone took about ten minutes. As I recall he hit successfully with about ten attacks in that one round.
Of course he blew his best daily, an action point and his best encounter power in one round, along with his best magic items' daily powers, but heck, it was worth it.
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We were playing an undead heavy campaign. I was a lvl 8 Paladin/Undead Scourge with a magic greatsword. Anyway, we have barricaded ourselves inside a small village and, with a small company of soldiers face an onslaught of undead. After a few rounds, fireballs start blossoming everywhere, killing and wounding people. We cannot determine who is casting the spells, until the rogue spots a skeletal figure on top of a distant hill. Rogue and sorcerer go to deal with it, but are beaten back by an onslaught of powerful magic. Then the sorcerer and the rogue dimension door back into the village, as the caster, a lich, was too much for them. I ask the sorcerer to dimension door me near the lich so i can distract it while everyone retreats, basically thinking of sacrificing myself for the rest of the group. He does and i charge/smite the lich. (My weapon was a +3 undead bane sword at that moment, with the help of divine bond).
I roll a 20, and confirm with another 20. And then proceed to roll 6d6. All 6es. Plus around 90 points of damage gets to be around 120. I insta-kill the lich. Which was supposed to be too dangerous for us and not to be challenged.
You should see the look on the GMs face.
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Me: "I cast remove disease on the Otyugh."
Man, I have heard a lot of cruel things done to monsters... but THAT takes the cake.
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I've told you about my players right? Well, here's a few greatest hits:
Party is fighting the Deathcampus in Jade Regent AP and they're hvaing a problem since it's flying.
Barbarian: I've got this Ring of Climbing Right? The walls aroudn looks rough and well, climbable right?
Me: Ya. They're rough enough you can get handholds.
Barbarian: I start climbing, he's busy playing with the Summoner and Monk anyway.
Me: Okay.
2 round later.
Barbarian: I'm how high above him now?
Me: About 20 feet, since he's flying he's not to worried. You going to trow your axes at him?
Barbarian: Nope, I jump to grapple.
Me: What?
Barbarian: (Rolls, crits his grapple...against a thing with +10 to grapple).
Me: WHAT? (Has to make flying check...which fails since grappled.)
Barbarian: I've got the HPs. I can take the fall.
He and foe hit hard and rest of PC's dogpile the monster.
It was then I discovered just how deadly mid-air grappling is.
RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16
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This was actually at Paizocon 2012, playing the Wardens of the Reborn Forge playtest with Patrick Renie GMing.
Mrs. Bell and I had neglected to roll up characters beforehand, so I whipped up a pair of elves for us on Herolab: an archery bard for myself and an elven curve blade fighter for her.
We went into an encounter buffed up. My bard opened with a full attack. Renie said to just give him the total. Manyshot + Rapid Shot + haste attack + adds from Arcane Strike, good hope, inspire courage, Deadly Aim, STR bonus, and weapon enhancement added up to somewhere around 5d8+80. I think one of them x3 critted, making it around 7d8+100. I told him the grand total of around 130, iirc.
He looked at me and said, "Jesus, you did HOW much? I thought you were a bard!"
Then Mrs. Bell went.
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Was there anything left?Me: "I cast remove disease on the Otyugh."Man, I have heard a lot of cruel things done to monsters... but THAT takes the cake.
Yep, but the fight was a lot easier after that. ;)
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Going through some old notes of mine, there was the Saltmarsh game where each of us would GM in turn. We started with 3.5 and made the switch to Pathfinder. The second PF adventure was City of Golden Death.
So we, 7th level party, were exploring the inner city, lots of encounters and we became pretty paranoid. Of course there was this undead dragon (zombie or skeleton? I can't remember...), who caught us in the open. The encounter moved through several buildings, and we burned our resources. I was the Cleric (Luck, Travel, specialized in fighting undead creatures), and I had one last high-level spell left: bestow curse.
Me: Ok, I cast bestow curse and get close to the dragon.
GM: It doesn't have any AoOs left, so make your touch attack.
Me: Success. I give the dragon -6 to Charisma.
GM: ... WHAT?
Everyone: ... WHAT?
Me: Well, its undead, so it has no Con score but uses Cha instead. My character, being a specialist, would know this, but I can make a knowledge check if you want?
GM: No its fine, but I need to recalculate hp, gimme a sec.
Everyone: ...
Me: What?
Afterwards I felt a little dirty for metagaming this hard, but we were really desperate, expecting a TPK, and I remembered this fact only seconds before my turn came up. We were still in the weird transition phase where nobody was sure if a particular rule had been changed in PF or not. I think it was ok, since everyone laughed at the WTF moment afterwards, and we lived through the scenario.
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My friends and I were playing in Eberron (3.5), in Sharn. We were in a chase scene, and the bad guy was getting way ahead of us. In fact, if I remember correctly, the encounter may have started with us on a higher bridge between towers, with the Emerald Claw villain on another lower bridge, sniping at us.
So I did what any self respecting Cleric of the Silver Flame would do in this situation. . .
I jumped off the bridge towards his bridge, some 50 or 60 feet below.
The looks I got from the players and the GM were priceless.
Then I whipped out my featherfall token that I keep strapped around my belt and landed safely on the bridge, ready to close with the Emerald Claw agent.
Then, IIRC, the GM pulled on on me. The Claw agent was my character's cousin, who I had assumed died during the cataclysm in Cyre.
I swear, one of the best campaigns I've ever played.
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Antariuk's story reminded me!
I was playing an admittedly over-powered character built by cheesing the 3.X rules to get obscenely high mental stats, and a bunch of other benefits. Pre-approved, even though I'd never asked or hinted that I'd hoped to play this guy. We were in an AP, book three.
We were about to go facing off against an unfathomably ancient lich who just [redacted for spoilers!] which was how we got here in the first place.
My wizard/psion looks at the rest of the party.
"I got this. You guys stay here."
"What?!" asks the GM.
"Yeah, I've got this. I'll take him down. You guys wait until I get in trouble, if that's okay."
It was - no one particularly felt like going up against the lich, and it was apparent suicide, so they thought I had "a plan".
I go in to face the lich, and proceed to use bestow curse. A lot. All of my highest spell slots were bestow curse. As were a bunch of scrolls. And I could convert power points to spells. Within a few rounds, the lich has four sets of 50% failure to act; a -6 to his intelligence, then wisdom, then dexterity, then charisma, then strength; -4 to attack rolls, skills, and saves. Spell resistance at, like, one, I think, he makes a couple of his saves, and I fail the occasional touch attack, but mostly it's a "You suck now." fest.
He hated me. It probably didn't help that I was using banter, witty dialogue, and insults, including those about his "one-eyed mother" (who, after all, was a cyclops, since the lich was).
One of the best things was when he blindness/deafness me to blind me, not knowing (and GM forgetting) that my character had
It was so daggum fun, and everyone at the table thought this was the most awesome thing.
Still, it's a closer battle than I would have liked, but eventually, I more or less hammer him into running away with dimension door. Then, I chase him. I use a trace teleport effect and (with on-the-go buffing) rush through some deadly traps right into his layer.
There, I battle him, telekinetically grapple his magic artifact eye out of his skull-socket, drive him off again, and then - because I'm blind and over 6HD, wand of stoneshape a small box-like-shape on the ground, and a "hammer" that "perfectly" fits the box. I place the artifact inside, and slam the hammer down hard, smashing the crystal, destroying its power, but keeping all the shards.
The entire complex trembles, and the bad-guy comes out of his "special time chamber" as I called it to his face (apparently he gets free full healing there, or something), and I look at him and say, a look of joy on my face,
"Guess what I just did! Can you guess? Can you?!" :D
"... I have some idea." he replies, dangerously.
"THAT WAS TOTALLY AWESOME!" I reply.
"I will end you for that." as he proceeds to attempt to disintegrate me.
"Nah, I'm good. Oh, here, you dropped this." I evade the really poorly made disintegrate attack, then telekinetically slam his face in with the hammer, forcing him back into his "special time" room.
I then run into his "special time" room, and say, "Oh, come on, man. You can't keep running away from your problems. Here, let me help!"
I then use my one-use maximized, empowered, overchanneled, power focused Energy Cone that dealt, like, 110-ish damage (I rolled nearly all sixes), ignored hardness, and did so the the lich and everything behind him - including the powerful magic wall of his "special time" room which did all the healing.
He had time to say "No-!" before he and everything he loved was destroyed.
Of course, I later raised him from the dead with no memory of his past, the celestial template, and a good alignment. (He'd lost all his magic, but, hey, I figured "free good guy".)
Fun times.
That is still one of the most awesome moments I've had in gaming.
EDIT: I was left with exactly 1 hit point and 0 power points and spells. Also some heavy ability damage. TOTALLY. WORTH. IT.
(Especially since his stupidly high Charisma and prestidigitation let him play it off like it was no big deal. And then they rescued the village...)
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Setup: The characters have spent levels 1-16 discovering clues, recovering powerful macguffins and preparing for the final, entire-campaign-world-on-the-line battle with a red dragon demigod (think Alduin the World Eater from Skyrim if Alduin was actually, you know, difficult to kill.) The GM's girlfriend and two of his best friends were clearly the "stars" of the campaign and their PCs were being groomed by the GM to be the special snowflakes upon the whole of creation depended. Throughout the course of the campaign, the other six players and myself were treated like glorified NPCs, cohorts at best.
We finally get to the final battle and the GM tells us right out of the gate we have about 10 rounds to kill the dragon god before he destroys the world. The GM gives us plenty of time to prepare so, ever the supportive toady, I suggest everyone dump all their best buffs onto the chosen ones while I stay close enough to inspire them with my performance. They've got all the god-killing macguffins so they're our only hope and all that jazz. The fight starts and the GM goes down the list of combatants asking what we want to do.
(paraphrased)
GM: The Dragon God-thingy goes first. He runs his mouth about how you're too late, etc. etc. and breathes fire on everyone. Roll saves, take damage.
GM's GF: Charges forward, does roguey thing.
GM's BF#1: Charges forward, does fightery thing.
GM's BF#2: Charges forward does clericy thing.
The league of second bananas: Half-heartedly pretend their actions will have any effect on the battle.
Me: "I run up behind the Rogue, Fighter and Cleric heroes and drop my portable hole into my bag of holding. I've never liked this world much anyway."
GM: *stunned silence*
GM's GF: "What does that mean?"
GM's BF#1: flips the hell out, screaming and throwing dice
GM's BF#2: "You d---."
Totally worth it.
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PFFFFFFFFFFAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Jae, I don't think he cared. The game was, by his description, pretty obviously a showboat for the GM and his buddies, so this was just basically a final "screw you" to a GM who, if VZ's retelling is accurate, had way too much favoritism on his plate.
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Yes. First and foremost, I was acting out on behalf of my fellow players who were constantly being ignored and even bullied by the star players (the guy playing the fighter constantly belittled a couple of the other players and sometimes tried to intimidate those players into taking whatever actions he suggested.) Sure I was being spiteful and I could have just left the game at any point before this but, at the time, I was really sick of seeing that sort of behavior at games. The GM was a nice guy and not completely awful at running the game, but I don't think he realized how much the other players were bothered by what was happening. None of them were speaking up so I took matters into my own hands in the most sinister and probably childish means at my disposal because I play this game to have fun and plotting the destruction of the world was the most fun I could have had at that point. It was more a "screw you" to the fighter player. The girlfriend was kind of oblivious and the other friend just seemed apathetic to the rest of us. For the GM, it was intended to be more of a learning moment.
Secondly, to answer Jaelithe's question, my character had two legitimate means of knowing exactly what would happen with the hole/bag combo. 1. She was a Jester (a bard variant from the Dragon Compendium) with max ranks in Spellcraft, Knowledge Arcana and Use Magic Device. Any one of those skills should be enough to tell someone how their magic items work and what they do. And 2. My character personally witnessed what happened to her own bag of holding when the GM said a hole I jumped into for cover was actually a portable hole placed by a giant we were fighting. He let me roll a Reflex save to avoid destruction, but I lost the bag and some alchemist's fire it was storing. That was enough of a reason to research what happened and why so I bought the portable hole and bag at somewhere around level 9 and held onto those things for 7 levels (probably four months of gaming) just waiting for my moment to strike. To add insult to injury, I had a scroll of Plane Shift and I planned to use that to ditch my fellow party members on the Astral Plane.
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Just starting 3.5, I was playing a barbarian named Winslow. She was the apprentice of a boisterous, overweight bruiser named Buck Godot and hailed from the town of Gallimaufry.
Anyone who recognizes those names probably can guess how this ends.
I had gotten very, very lucky on the rolls; lowest score was a 12. So, naturally, I put one of the 16s as her Int score. I just didn't bother to tell the group how smart she really is. I made it a point to make certain she was taking that languages skill, so she was a bit of a polyglot even at level 1. The DM spent the entire time he was reading my character sheet trying not to snicker.
When she started out, the only word she said was "Hi!" In Common. She also smiled all of the time. Naturally, the rest of the group assumed Int got an extremely low score assigned. After 5 levels, everyone became comfortable with her methods of nonverbal communication and used them on a regular basis (this generally benefited us; the enemy couldn't hear us discussing our plans only five feet away). Ten levels and a lot of party investment in buffing Winslow's Int score (as well as a lot of patience) and they've successfully upped her known vocabulary to seven words. Note that, at level 15, her Int score was second only to the wizard.
Despite her mostly mute nature, the fact she did so much damage in combat made certain no one complained.
What no one paid attention to was what Winslow did in her free time. One of the other skills I had put points into was Profession (translator). Thanks to a very good early roll of the skill, Winslow ended up working for the local royalty. Through her sheer skill with languages and her capacity at learning more, she eventually built up a massive chain of connections and favors that pretty much guaranteed she could get any favor short of declaring war on another nation. This came in handy; the party would get bogged down by red tape, she'd mysteriously disappear, and the red tape would miraculously vanish.
Winslow would also occasionally solve puzzles in dungeons, but always while the party wasn't looking. To them, it always seemed like she just had miraculous luck; they had no way of knowing that she was passing Knowledge checks with ease.
In any case, it was at level 15 that the ruse fell apart. Why? Because Winslow was being granted a noble title for all of the service she had done for her country. It was thanks to her translation skills that the royals had been able to negotiate a lucrative trade deal with a mermaid nation.
So, the party is there, watching, and generally utterly confused as to why the Queen is proclaiming Winslow to be nobility.
Queen: "Winslow, for all of your aid to this kingdom, you are hereby proclaimed Duchess of Merpoint. Do you have any words you wish to say before the throne?"
Winslow: "Your most noble and honored Majesty, I cannot express to the fullest intent how much I am honored by this appointment. I shall continue to humbly serve and wish many bright blessings upon the throne. May the gods themselves rain the fullest set of Celestial blessings upon you."
Party: WHAT?
Me: *hands character sheet to the guy playing the wizard*
Wizard: Your Int score is HOW HIGH?!?
Later...
Fighter: "Um, Winslow, you've misled us for years now... Made us think you were an idiot... What do you have to say for yourself?"
Winslow: *thinks for a bit* "Hi!"
Fighter: ... what.
Fighter: "Um, Winslow, you've misled us for years now... Made us think you were an idiot... What do you have to say for yourself?"
Winslow: *thinks for a bit* "Hi!"
Fighter: ... what.
That was awesome. I think I hurt myself laughing.
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Read the explanatory post a few down. It's got likes because it's a hilarious vengeance tale against people (one person in particular) who really had it coming.
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My "Wait..what?" came while playing my 7 INT Zen Archer. All of the other Characters had met my ZA before, but the GM had not. So, my introduction was "Hello again, friends." We are chasing a group of "bandits" that kidnapped our contact in the town we were in. After following them with my +9 survival and +15 perception, in a snowy environment, we come across a hastily abandoned camp. The perception notices a crow nearby. ZA points it out to the group's healer, who has just verified that the bird is just barely alive and proceeds to heal it.
Raven wakes up and squawks "Who you?"
This prompts my ZA to respond "Yes?"
Raven goes "What? No, who you?"
Another character pipes up "That's him!"
My Zen Archer's name is Huu-Yuu. GM almost face-desks.
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Some great stories in this thread.
The first story I can think of off the top of my head: Campaign based around exploring a "lost" continent. The PC group encounters a lizardfolk who drops to his knees and worships the elf PC. After speaking with the lizardfolk and learning more, it was determined that elves ruled the entire land and enslaved the lizardfolk many years ago.
This lizardfolk and his tribe kept true to the old ways, worshiping elves. The group decided to take the lizardfolk with them, they enter an ancient temple and find a sacrificial chamber. The lizardfolk explains that the lizardfolk would sacrifice them self here to benefit their elven masters.
A fight later, the elf PC is dead. The lizardfolk drags the elf's body back to the chamber and sacrifices himself, resurrecting the elf PC.
The cleric PC of the group (who out of game HATES NPCs in the PC party) is so moved that he sacrifices himself to bring the lizardfolk back.
I was so shocked and didn't know what to do, so I made the cleric PC take massive damage but survive, and the lizardfolk was resurrected.