
Mauril |

My older brother (born without his left forearm) always invents a new reason for missing it every time he is introduced to someone new and they ask about it. It becomes a running gag to see how plausible we can make it sound and how long we can keep a straight face before finally breaking down and telling the (now horrified) person.
But "Do you need a hand?" "Yes, a left one." is probably the most commonly used missing hand pun we use.

Mark Hoover |

Battle cry: Arm Yourselves!
My chain shirt only cost 1/2 price
What's your dwarf's fighting style? Arm & Hammer
Yeah, but you should see what I took off the OTHER guy...
My character's Armenian (too much? I apologize...)
My character's name is Half Nelson
I'm not armed, but STILL dangerous!
Put your hands up! I'll meet you halfway...
I only swim in circles
The other one's in the shop
You said keep 'em at arm's length...so I fell on 'em.
The puppet kept it.
And if you complain, once more, you'll meet an ARMy of me! (too far for a Bjork reference?)
On the plus side my AC went up; less is more.
I can only do a 50 hand slap instead of the full hundred
ALL my pushups are 1 arm!
And the number one question the player would ask: Do I still get 2 ATTACKS with 2Wfighting?

![]() |
1 person marked this as a favorite. |

"Give the man a hand, 'cause he's just got the one!"
"Arms, arms for an ex-leper..."
"He asked if I could give him a hand. I didn't think he'd keep it!"
"I am the original one-armed bandit. Put a coin in my mouth, and take your chances!"
"I used to be armed and dangerous. I'm still dangerous..."
"Hey darlin', want to see the one-armed man's one-eyed snake?"
"If you can snatch the pebble from my hand grasshopper... You're going to have to find it first."

![]() |
1 person marked this as a favorite. |

"...the worst part is I have to scratch my arse and pick my nose with the same hand, so now timing is critical."
If its left arm cut off "no, I'm all right now".
If its right arm cut off "It's all that's left"
"...tis only a flesh wound"
"I used to be a bard but I played the piano, so now I'm a fighter."
"it's a real b@~*+ to do archery, but I can still jam a long sword up your keister."