Arm Puns


Advice


What are some good puns for a character that has lost an arm?


"Don't worry about me, I'm 'armless."


Don't shoot! I am un-armed!

Could you give me a hand? / I could really use an extra hand right now.


Could you answer a bit of Zen trivia? What IS the sound of one hand clapping?


At least you can still be a drummer.


My older brother (born without his left forearm) always invents a new reason for missing it every time he is introduced to someone new and they ask about it. It becomes a running gag to see how plausible we can make it sound and how long we can keep a straight face before finally breaking down and telling the (now horrified) person.

But "Do you need a hand?" "Yes, a left one." is probably the most commonly used missing hand pun we use.


Is the character a rogue? Does he like gambling?

Spoiler:
Oh, come on. "One-Armed Bandit"? You knew this one.

Good for skeezy pick-up lines. "Hey, baby, why don't ya come give the One-Armed Bandit a tug. You might get lucky!"

Dark Archive

"i'm a one arm many, i mean a one man army"


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"I outwitted a loan shark, and it had to settle for an arm instead of an arm and a leg."

"No worries, it's nothing that one armed man can't deal with."

"No, nothing up my sleeve at all."


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"I'm one handy man."
"Ten... nine... eight... seven... six... GO!"
"Could everyone in the room count their hands please? I'm one short."


"I'm looking for a cleric who can cast Heal 'n' Harm."


I'll take you all on single handed

We all have the right to bare arms, well except you.


A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
“Doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs!” The doctor replied, “I know you
can’t – I’ve cut off your arms!”


Battle cry: Arm Yourselves!

My chain shirt only cost 1/2 price

What's your dwarf's fighting style? Arm & Hammer

Yeah, but you should see what I took off the OTHER guy...

My character's Armenian (too much? I apologize...)

My character's name is Half Nelson

I'm not armed, but STILL dangerous!

Put your hands up! I'll meet you halfway...

I only swim in circles

The other one's in the shop

You said keep 'em at arm's length...so I fell on 'em.

The puppet kept it.

And if you complain, once more, you'll meet an ARMy of me! (too far for a Bjork reference?)

On the plus side my AC went up; less is more.

I can only do a 50 hand slap instead of the full hundred

ALL my pushups are 1 arm!

And the number one question the player would ask: Do I still get 2 ATTACKS with 2Wfighting?

Grand Lodge

They say I am the only one left, but I'm all right.


"I used to be so-and-so's right-hand-man!"

Dark Archive

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"Give the man a hand, 'cause he's just got the one!"

"Arms, arms for an ex-leper..."

"He asked if I could give him a hand. I didn't think he'd keep it!"

"I am the original one-armed bandit. Put a coin in my mouth, and take your chances!"

"I used to be armed and dangerous. I'm still dangerous..."

"Hey darlin', want to see the one-armed man's one-eyed snake?"

"If you can snatch the pebble from my hand grasshopper... You're going to have to find it first."

Liberty's Edge

Had a guy get his hand choped off by nualia in ROTRL when we were still using the crit deck, he was a two weapon fighter so the jokes went on for the rest of the session.

Good times.


guys, i think this is wrong these people have been through enough i think they all deserve to give themselves a round of applause... oh wait


that one was practically handed to me^^, next time i'll try to think of something better but im stumped right now, anyway i hope anyone who has lost an arm is all right


Looks like you've been disarmed!

Scarab Sages

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"...the worst part is I have to scratch my arse and pick my nose with the same hand, so now timing is critical."

If its left arm cut off "no, I'm all right now".
If its right arm cut off "It's all that's left"

"...tis only a flesh wound"

"I used to be a bard but I played the piano, so now I'm a fighter."

"it's a real b@~*+ to do archery, but I can still jam a long sword up your keister."


Disarmed, but not defeated!


"One arm! One arm! The redcoats are coming!"

Scarab Sages

"I never metacarpal I didn't like."


Decades ago, we had an evil party that would offer to accept surrender on terms they would only disarm their enemies.

And true to our word, we merely cut their arms off.

You can't be more fair than that.


You could describe yourself as "ARMbidextrous" =D


This thread had one foot in the grave. And a hand.

Wanna play cards? Oh come on, just one hand.

Bigsby took it, alright?


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"Didn't realize till too late that my arm was the material component."

Ow, ow, oooooooooooooow!


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"The good thing about monks is you can't be disarmed."

"Oh really?" - Insert Evil GM laught Here.


I want to change classes. I want to play a gambler, you know a one armed bandit?

"I can KICK you with my hand tied behind my back!"

"I was cut off before my prime, but I'll shoulder on!"

"I am not a tourist, I am just a wrist!"

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