My college experiences were similar. Fortunately the drama was limited. Mostly. Kinda.
...
I would do it again, but probably start earlier.
| 3 people marked this as a favorite. |
Just to have some kind of excuse to bump up this thread (because it's been silent for a week and really should be on the front page of everything lol), this morning I realized that I can't remember the last time I gamed with anyone who was cishet apart from my brother.
It's kinda weird, but I've never lived with a cishet person since I moved out from my parents (and I've always lived with at the very least two other people at a time, more often three and sometimes four) and my gaming circle currently is basically the people I live with and their friends and partners.
So I guess I'm very lucky in that regard, because there's basically no homophobia in my gaming circles, though there's some people who tend to be casually cissexist at times.
|
| 4 people marked this as a favorite. |
Yeah, I'll agree that you're lucky as all hell Gaberlunzie. The few LGBTQA gaming friends that I have I found out they weren't straight years later. We were all so damned scared to admit we weren't hetero that none of us even realized we had friends that we could relate too. Now we're scattered all across the globe.
It was the '80s and admitting you weren't hetro cis was a social death sentence.
| 5 people marked this as a favorite. |
JUST SENT IN EDITS WOOOOOOOOOOOO
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
JUST SENT IN EDITS WOOOOOOOOOOOO
Explain to us what you're talking about so we might be infected with your level of enthusiasm!
| 4 people marked this as a favorite. |
I got 4 pieces of erotica to edit, all genderqueer stuff with some transgender fantasy rolled in. Some of it was difficult to read, even as it heightened my awareness of gender issues and transgender struggles(albeit magical ones). It took me a while to send it back to my boss because of drama that would crop up in one of my 3 other jobs, but I finally sent it back last night.
I got 4 pieces of erotica to edit, all genderqueer stuff with some transgender fantasy rolled in. Some of it was difficult to read, even as it heightened my awareness of gender issues and transgender struggles(albeit magical ones). It took me a while to send it back to my boss because of drama that would crop up in one of my 3 other jobs, but I finally sent it back last night.
As my forum title indicates, I'm always learning things, and trying to learn.
Sometimes, though, learning things leads to more questions. Please don't be offended if I'm mangling concepts/ideas here, I'm trying to learn, and I encourage folks to provide guidance.
Is it a widespread thing for gay folks to be offended/upset at the idea of transgender (MTF, in particular), or did I just happen to run into a glut of them when I was LARPing?
Is it a common thing for cis-female liberation background to have a particular loathing for MTF TG?
Thank you very much for your time and any insight you may be able to provide.
| 7 people marked this as a favorite. |
So, later on today I have my first appointment with a doctor about getting on hormones. I am excited and nervous.
Further exacerbating my heightened emotions, the power went out overnight where I am, and I feared for a number of hours that I might have to cancel the appointment and reschedule since my vehicle is in the garage, which can only be opened via power. Intellectually, I knew it wouldn't be a problem to reschedule, but emotions and logic don't talk well to each other. Especially at 3am.
| 4 people marked this as a favorite. |
Disclaimer: Am cis, so this is just what I've observed, not what I've lived.
Is it a widespread thing for gay folks to be offended/upset at the idea of transgender (MTF, in particular), or did I just happen to run into a glut of them when I was LARPing?
Yes, transphobia in the gay community is quite common. Don't know if it's more common than in the rest of society, but from what I've seen there's plenty of BS going on. Especially I've seen gay cis men who are very anti all trans people, and lesbians who are transmisogynistic.
Is it a common thing for cis-female liberation background to have a particular loathing for MTF TG?
Quite. In particular, TERFs (Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists) are actively trying to hurt trans women in various ways, from working for their exclusion from women's spaces to outing trans girls to their schools and trying to get trans people to commit suicide.
Most of them are plenty transphobic to trans men too, regarding them as "traitors".Unfortunately it's a quite dominant train of thought among radical feminists, though there are certainly radical feminists who are trans or trans friendly too.
There's a lot of ignorance among many feminists in general, even well-meaning ones that aren't TERFs, but from what I've seen (as a cis person) it seems to be at least slightly better than society in general.
Gaberlunzie says it better than me.
| 6 people marked this as a favorite. |
Encouraging others to commit suicide is monstrous.
| 3 people marked this as a favorite. |
People can be mean -
Violence was never ceased by violence, but only by loving kindness.
I disagree with this. In plenty of circumstances violence is better solved by violence than by "loving kindness". If nazis try to murder me in the street, I'm much better off trying to fight them than trying to hug them (granted, I'm soft, weak and slow so I'd lose against anyone more dangerous than a three year old, but my odds of surviving long enough for someone else to stop the attack is higher if I use violence than if I try showing them "loving kindness").
That doesn't mean violence should be a go-to solution for anything, but "violence was never ceased by violence" sounds like an empty clichée rather than a practical analysis.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
People can be mean -
Violence was never ceased by violence, but only by loving kindness.
I disagree with this. In plenty of circumstances violence is better solved by violence than by "loving kindness". If nazis try to murder me in the street, I'm much better off trying to fight them than trying to hug them (granted, I'm soft, weak and slow so I'd lose against anyone more dangerous than a three year old, but my odds of surviving long enough for someone else to stop the attack is higher if I use violence than if I try showing them "loving kindness").
That doesn't mean violence should be a go-to solution for anything, but "violence was never ceased by violence" sounds like an empty clichée rather than a practical analysis.
As self-identifying antifa I wholeheartedly agree.
The only language nazis understand, after all, is violence.
To be fair it wasn't an argument, or at least it hadn't become one yet. People can disagree on things without those discussions necessarily becoming arguments.
Though I'm also afraid of saying this since I'm afraid it itself might be misconstrued as an argument.
System Administrator
|
| 5 people marked this as a favorite. |
As my forum title indicates, I'm always learning things, and trying to learn.
Sometimes, though, learning things leads to more questions. Please don't be offended if I'm mangling concepts/ideas here, I'm trying to learn, and I encourage folks to provide guidance.
Is it a widespread thing for gay folks to be offended/upset at the idea of transgender (MTF, in particular), or did I just happen to run into a glut of them when I was LARPing?
It happens. I've never found it common. I found not understanding trans people to be pretty common. But usually that was more confusion than anything.
Is it a common thing for cis-female liberation background to have a particular loathing for MTF TG?
Thank you very much for your time and any insight you may be able to provide.
That is a bit more common. Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminism(TERF) is very on point about trans women not deserving any sort of recognition. Janice Raymond was a proponent in the early 80's and her opinion along with a couple of others have kept us from getting needed medical care for decades. Obviously, there is an arm of radical feminism that is totally on our side. I've personally met Jane Fonda and Eve Ensler and an all trans Vagina Monologues and they were amazing. So mileage may vary. A lot of these women have had some really terrible experiences with men and they believe that maleness forever taints you.
|
|
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
As a gay man living in Oklahoma, one of the many states claiming to be the buckle of the Bible belt. I have seen homophobia and transphobia as something that is very prevalent. Something that seems common in rural and suburban areas of the Midwest and deep South. I have even seen and experienced hetero-normative masculinity ideals within the LGBTQA+ community here, the gay man that thinks you have to be masculine if you are male or that thinks gender identity/role is determined by whether you are a top or a bottom. Luckily most of my current circle of friends, gay and straight, are not transphobic.
I think the rise in the visibility of the LGBTQ community is helping dispel much of the stigma we have had to live with throughout modern history. I like the fact that we are becoming more of a part of society and less the enemy but I see that we still have a long way to go as well.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Thank you very much for the thoughtful and balanced (No, not in the FOX News sort of meaning!) responses so far, this actually helps me get a better picture.
I used to go to LARP with a few buddies of mine (as I had mentioned in the earlier post) and it was a very very uncomfortable ride home after I stepped on the social landmine without realizing that it was a thing.
At the sake of sounding, well, uncertain, are there any inexpensive questionnaires to try and figure out where roughly one 'sits' on the gender spectrum? This isn't making light of things but rather... trying to figure some things out?
Also, congrats on the appointment, Mandy, and hope it goes really well!
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
I don't think such a questionnaire exist, a reliable one, anyway, and it would not be possible to make a reliable one either.
figuring out your gender (or if you even have one) is something that has no rules and something that takes time, thought and talking to people.
| 5 people marked this as a favorite. |
Thanks for the well-wishes. The appointment went better than expected -- and I now have my first month's hormones.
As for your question Wei Ji: my personal experience and personal revelation came through trial and error. I tried things on until something fit. Partly it came through online RP: I could try out new personas as much as I wanted, and one day I noticed that I hadn't had a male persona that lasted more than a couple weeks in years. Then, around trusted friends, I tried out names, pronouns, gender identity feelings until I felt I knew where I was. It'll take time, effort, and willingness to take time to really look at yourself.
My way isn't the only, or necessarily the best way, though.
| 5 people marked this as a favorite. |
I disagree with this. In plenty of circumstances violence is better solved by violence than by "loving kindness". If nazis try to murder me in the street, I'm much better off trying to fight them than trying to hug them (granted, I'm soft, weak and slow so I'd lose against anyone more dangerous than a three year old, but my odds of surviving long enough for someone else to stop the attack is higher if I use violence than if I try showing them "loving kindness").
That doesn't mean violence should be a go-to solution for anything, but "violence was never ceased by violence" sounds like an empty clichée rather than a practical analysis
Generally speaking I'm a pacifist, though regrettably sometimes it is necessary to pass-a-fist through some especially thick skulls.
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
Someone summon the international pun registry!
|
System Administrator
|
As a gay man living in Oklahoma, one of the many states claiming to be the buckle of the Bible belt. I have seen homophobia and transphobia as something that is very prevalent. Something that seems common in rural and suburban areas of the Midwest and deep South. I have even seen and experienced hetero-normative masculinity ideals within the LGBTQA+ community here, the gay man that thinks you have to be masculine if you are male or that thinks gender identity/role is determined by whether you are a top or a bottom. Luckily most of my current circle of friends, gay and straight, are not transphobic.
I think the rise in the visibility of the LGBTQ community is helping dispel much of the stigma we have had to live with throughout modern history. I like the fact that we are becoming more of a part of society and less the enemy but I see that we still have a long way to go as well.
Neat! I come from around those parts. Lots of being out in Tulsa, Stillwater, OKC and Chickasha.
| 4 people marked this as a favorite. |
Oh great, you JUST had to bring in the IPR. Now we're in for it!
|
| 5 people marked this as a favorite. |
So I finished reading "In Hell's Bright Shadow", the first part of the Hell's Rebels AP (and authored by the magnificent Crystal Frasier)
And I was delighted to find this particular piece, when perusing the NPC Gallery:
Rexus being transgender is not only really awesome, but also exceptionally written. I'm really happy to see a trans character whose parents were completely supportive of him and who he is. It does make me all the sadder about their fate in this AP.
I'm really curious to see how this plays out in a lot of groups, as it is an aspect of Rexus that may eventually come up as the PCs identify his dependence on alchemical substances. I'm also pretty curious to hear folks' thoughts on what appears to be "alchemical hormones" as the source of Rexus' transition (vs the Elixir of Sex Shifting).
Either way, Crystal (if you're about in the thread): Thank you.
WOOOOOOOOOOOO
bdk,
I have NOT read the adventure path (but I couldn't resist poking at the spoiler) and I'd have to say that I have a character in PFS play with similar starting family background (supportive, encouraging) and it has been a blast to play him in organized play so far.
In fact, they are tied for second place in my 'most played' characters, because they're that solid as a concept.
That aside, the other part of your spoiler has been mentioned before with other characters, including at least one iconic. I'm speaking generally here, to preserve your spoiler.
Is Hells Rebels a PFS-sactioned AP? *considers getting it for his home group if it is*
| 3 people marked this as a favorite. |
I might be intersex, and if I am, I'm totally ok with that.
|
System Administrator
|
| 7 people marked this as a favorite. |
The Elixir of Sex Shift is handy and a certain percentage might find a way to get them but there are plenty of other means to transition and often provides for a more interesting story and or character. At least in my opinion. Alchemical hormones is a slower more nuanced approach and one that has been employed for centuries. Also, Elixer of Sex Shift might not be for everybody even if it can be afforded, though it's pretty expensive all things considered.
I would note that it is also not an either or. One could transition on alchemical hormones and later on get an elixir of sex shift. It's also kind of interesting going through a second puberty. There are some experiences there that are pretty unique, like opening a door and accidently hitting your chest because aren't used to things being there and since they are developing they cause you to black out. With an elixir, I imagine you just come in as developed as you are. For most adults, that's likely going to mean you'll completely skip the uber-painful stage. =)
The Elixir of Sex Shift is handy and a certain percentage might find a way to get them but there are plenty of other means to transition and often provides for a more interesting story and or character. At least in my opinion. Alchemical hormones is a slower more nuanced approach and one that has been employed for centuries. Also, Elixer of Sex Shift might not be for everybody even if it can be afforded, though it's pretty expensive all things considered.
I would note that it is also not an either or. One could transition on alchemical hormones and later on get an elixir of sex shift. It's also kind of interesting going through a second puberty. There are some experiences there that are pretty unique, like opening a door and accidently hitting your chest because aren't used to things being there and since they are developing they cause you to black out. With an elixir, I imagine you just come in as developed as you are. For most adults, that's likely going to mean you'll completely skip the uber-painful stage. =)
woooooooow
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
I might be intersex, and if I am, I'm totally ok with that.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOW
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
i look forward to acquiring Potions of Beard Hair.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Would those make your excess hair fall out and make an appropriately gendered homunculous to accompany you to awkward family feast days?
Potions of Beard Hair induce hair growth. You're thinking of Potions of Smooth Face.
wait that's a silly name. oh well.
|
|
bdk,I have NOT read the adventure path (but I couldn't resist poking at the spoiler) and I'd have to say that I have a character in PFS play with similar starting family background (supportive, encouraging) and it has been a blast to play him in organized play so far.
In fact, they are tied for second place in my 'most played' characters, because they're that solid as a concept.
That aside, the other part of your spoiler has been mentioned before with other characters, including at least one iconic. I'm speaking generally here, to preserve your spoiler.
Is Hells Rebels a PFS-sactioned AP? *considers getting it for his home group if it is*
I imagine it will be eventually, but PFS is super behind on AP adaptations for organized play so it could take awhile. Which is a pity, because if you cut out the "running a rebellion" upkeep piece (optional system) to this first part it is a very manageable series of encounters for 12 hours of play. Factions may get weird, though, as Dark Archive still has lots of folks who are pretty pro-Cheliax.
I was lucky enough to be part of the Song of Silver preview game at PaizoCon this last year and I will say, between what I saw there with James Jacobs and what I've read here, this is going to be a really fun AP. I'm pretty stoked to run the AP (or, with a GM who trusts me not to metagame since I have read/played some, get to play it).
... as an example of experience from my own transition. There is value in doing things the hard way and in this case, that's experience.
I learned to zip my fly slowly, as a lad. I have nothing but sympathy for those who are going through a crash course.
| 4 people marked this as a favorite. |
i look forward to acquiring Potions of Beard Hair.
Beardy Cat. He's a pet for your face!
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
i look forward to acquiring Potions of Beard Hair.Beardy Cat. He's a pet for your face!
<333333333
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
I'm angry at my overly masculine frame. Makes starting hormones in my mid-20s unlike to make me feminine.
I got a pack of male-cut bikini bottoms. Actually pretty comfortable.
I would note that it is also not an either or. One could transition on alchemical hormones and later on get an elixir of sex shift. It's also kind of interesting going through a second puberty. There are some experiences there that are pretty unique, like opening a door and accidently hitting your chest because aren't used to things being there and since they are developing they cause you to black out. With an elixir, I imagine you just come in as developed as you are. For most adults, that's likely going to mean you'll completely skip the uber-painful stage. =)
That... sounds like it would be incredibly painful opening a door like that? Ow? I'm sorry?
And... the other thing that merits consideration (assuredly in PFS play, perhaps not as much in a home campaign) is cost.
Sure, the Elixir of Sex Shift is a 'mere' 2250gp, but that's also the cost for adding +1 magical enhancement to a masterwork weapon, +1 and possibly a special ability to armor, a ring of Protection (+1), an Amulet of Natural Armor (+1), or just over the price of a Handy Haversack, etc.
ie, which would be more important could be a very character-defined and developed process. 'Sure, I can be the person I really am... but I could die next mission without the protection/resources to enjoy that life...'
Am I reading too much into this?
| 3 people marked this as a favorite. |
just steal the damn thing and quaff it
just steal the damn thing and quaff it
It's not like PFS scenarios just have these things lying around like party favors, y'know? At least, I haven't ENCOUNTERED one like that yet?
Though... y'know... I could easily see a Temple of Arshea, Falayna, or Calistria...
