Hi new people!
I love power girl. So much.
Meet Amanda Conners at comic con one year. She was so tiny, she could fit in my pocket. Love having her autographed pic of PG at home.
Love power girl.
So much.
Welcome, Kiraya!
Power Girl is one I like a lot, but I never bother with the comics anymore. Too many arguments from other areas have soured them for me.
Also, an interesting article on trans rights in prison that I thought people might want to read.
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Ah, here's a post from Bryan Konietzko's Tumblr explaining why they decided to have Korra and
Little snippet:
Just because two characters of the same sex appear in the same story, it should not preclude the possibility of a romance between them. No, not everyone is queer, but the other side of that coin is that not everyone is straight. The more Korra and Asami’s relationship progressed, the more the idea of a romance between them organically blossomed for us. However, we still operated under this notion, another “unwritten rule,” that we would not be allowed to depict that in our show. So we alluded to it throughout the second half of the series, working in the idea that their trajectory could be heading towards a romance.But as we got close to finishing the finale, the thought struck me: How do I know we can’t openly depict that? No one ever explicitly said so. It was just another assumption based on a paradigm that marginalizes non-heterosexual people. If we want to see that paradigm evolve, we need to take a stand against it. And I didn’t want to look back in 20 years and think, “Man, we could have fought harder for that.” Mike and I talked it over and decided it was important to be unambiguous about the intended relationship.
.... *facepalm*
Wonderful. Korra has now been spoiled for me. I haven't even seen past the second episode for CENSORED sake.
Part of the appeal of Avatar for me has always been "Who's gonna get with who?", ya know? The first series had some fantastic relationship side-stories goin' on. Korra's now lost like, 25% of it's appeal. I'll get around to it eventually, it's just been bumped lower on my list. Doesn't seem that high of a percentage, until you realize I've got somewhere around 80+ other anime & shows I want to watch (usually wait for them to end so I can marathon a show).
Let this serve as a lesson! Spoiler tags exist for a reason!
Rysky is proving to be a great harbringer for me..... hehehe
This could be big news. The Supreme Court will hear the Louisiana same sex marriage case.This is big news: [SCotUSblog] "Court won’t add to delay of Florida same-sex marriages"... so, barring something unexpected, Florida clerks can start issuing same-sex marriage licenses starting January 6th.
Florida. Here? Here. Holy s*@!!
Holy s~%! is right; what're you going to say when mom starts hinting about you getting married?!
{PANICS}
Yeah my gf and I have thought about tying the knot once that happens, since under FL law she is still considered a man and thus, no marriage. Though things are super busy with work and school and me having the flu now, so might wait.
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... Your approval fills me with great shame.Rysky is proving to be a great harbringer for me..... hehehe
Your shame.... it sustains me...:p
Feel it flowing through you...
Also, yes rysky, spoilers.
On Korra...
On the other hand, the entire series is filled with "love at first sight" tropes, especially with Bolin. And while I personally think it's been a bit much for my tastes, cleary Korrasami isn't the only love at first sight trope they've had, so I don't really have any issues with it.
Maybe they build it up a bit more after Operation Beifong. I'll see tonight.
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RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32
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Blech... my boss and my co-worker just stood by my desk talking about how they thought it was creepy how someone who used to work here would dress up as Santa to give chocolate to the adult employees...
Which led to them talking about a guy who wore "women's" clothing and being grossed out and saying it's "not okay." Right in front of the desk of the secretly gender non-conforming cross dresser. Torn between talking to my boss about her being a shitty person and risking outing myself. Uggggggghhh. >_____<
Blech... my boss and my co-worker just stood by my desk talking about how they thought it was creepy how someone who used to work here would dress up as Santa to give chocolate to the adult employees...
Which led to them talking about a guy who wore "women's" clothing and being grossed out and saying it's "not okay." Right in front of the desk of the secretly gender non-conforming cross dresser. Torn between talking to my boss about her being a s!%!ty person and risking outing myself. Uggggggghhh. >_____<
Does your company allow anonymous complaints? If so, that is a way to address this.
If not... be prepared for reprisals.
Depends if it was boss-boss or "mere" manager. If boss-company owner there is probably little that can be done (unless you have back-up employment plan) :/
Unless it's the case of rampant ignorance grown from lack of exposure and personal knowledge that can be mended by awareness and knowing actual people...
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Yesterday I spent Christmas with some family and friends. I did my nails (red and green with gold and silver glitter) and wore some earrings. Nothing much. I was worried about how to explain myself to a 12 year old who was going to be there so I didn't wear a dress. I just wore a nice shirt and jeans. Turns out I didn't have to explain anything. He didn't even flinch at the polish or earrings. His mother made some earrings for me for Christmas and gave me a bunch of jewelry. One of the necklaces has a d6 pendant. That's going to go great with my d6 earrings! My aunt and uncle mailed me a woman's scarf. It's nice to have family and friends accept you for who you are. While I wasn't all Cindy'd up, I went as far as I was comfortable. Next time I should do more. They really know how to make me feel loved.
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Maaybe you could say you've sworn never to wed anyone who cannot best you in single combat? (nb: I'm aware that there may be a couple of tiny flaws in that plan...)This could be big news. The Supreme Court will hear the Louisiana same sex marriage case.This is big news: [SCotUSblog] "Court won’t add to delay of Florida same-sex marriages"... so, barring something unexpected, Florida clerks can start issuing same-sex marriage licenses starting January 6th.
Florida. Here? Here. Holy s$!%!
Holy s&~~ is right; what're you going to say when mom starts hinting about you getting married?!
{PANICS}
Best watch out saying stuff like that. This is the Festivus season! AND NOW, THE FEATS OF STRENGTH!!
Finally came out of the closet today.
"God I love my friends" is all I can say right now. The relief is amazing.
Fantastic to hear! *gets happyfeelings in my tummy*
It's always great when something like that turns out well.| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
Got home from visiting my partners parents for christmas yesterday morning, and I'm exhausted. They are honestly really shitty people. Of course they could be far worse, they haven't disowned my partner or anything, but they really don't give a flying eff about respect, especially not when it comes to LGBT stuff. By the 25th I was so fed up and exhausted by their treatment of their own child that I just had to try to tell them outright that they where hurting their kid with how they acted, I tried to be all humble and everything though I was kinda raging inside, but they should of course _argue_ with me about basically their right to be disrespectful as frakk. And that "respect has to go both ways!" as if I or my partner was ever disrespectful to them through... existing.
And it's not just about LGBT stuff either, they're a-holes when it comes to a lot of stuff, like you should never show weakness, you should always be exactly their kind of polite (which is basically, the people they percieve as women should be submissive and constantly make excuses and always be grateful for any "helpful hints" by besserwisser mansplaining a-holes), thinking about others should only be done if it helps your career, etc. They're kinda like right-wing reactionaries that want to have the image of caring progressive people outwards.
So ever since we left the 26th I've been completely exhausted and incapable of even basic functioning, but now 60 hours later I'm finally starting to catch up from the stress.
Good thing is, we don't have to go there next christmas, now we have an excuse to be at my parents place, and they're much much nicer.
Sorry for the rant, just had to clear my head. Now I need tea, and perhaps some real food instead of the nutella I've been living off of since we left :P.
Finally came out of the closet today.
"God I love my friends" is all I can say right now. The relief is amazing.
Yay Mikaze!! *hugs*
** spoiler omitted **All my sympathies, Gaberlunzie.
Uh, the song was reaction to Mikaze's reappearance, but seems to fit your troubles as well...
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** spoiler omitted **
Maybe it's time, after resting and recovery, to speak with your partner about not visiting family on holidays? Would there be a chance of visiting your family next holidays instead? Or just spend time with friends? Sometimes it's healthier to sever the relations instead of tormenting oneself...
** spoiler omitted **Maybe it's time, after resting and recovery, to speak with your partner about not visiting family on holidays? Would there be a chance of visiting your family next holidays instead? Or just spend time with friends? Sometimes it's healthier to sever the relations instead of tormenting oneself...
Oh, my partner doesn't really want to meet them, it's just that they're really pushy about it and if we don't go up there often enough, they literally drive the 800 miles to our place. And my partner doesn't want to formally break them off, and doesn't have the energy for an open conflict, so we just kinda minimize our exposure to them as far as we can. But I hope that they'll understand that we'll avoid them unless they start acting better. So either they'll start at least acting better over time, or we'll see less and less of them over time.
Finally came out of the closet today.
"God I love my friends" is all I can say right now. The relief is amazing.
Welcome back, my friend.
Finally came out of the closet today.
"God I love my friends" is all I can say right now. The relief is amazing.
You know who truly good friends are and how wonderful they can be in times like this. Congrats Mikaze :)
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RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32
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+3 Wall of Text
Hi Oakly! Welcome (back) to the forums and to the thread!
Gender-wise, I'm pretty much in the same situation as you: AMAB, but without a particular feeling of identifying with either end of the binary. No body dysphoria, preference for a feminine presentation, et cetera (although I still use he/his pronouns even when presenting as hella femme) (and personally I really dislike my facial hair, but if you like your beard then go for it).
It's definitely weird and confusing to try to navigate what exactly is going on with yer gender when it doesn't fit into the prescribed binary. Mostly because there doesn't seem to be widespread or conventional ways to talk about it and describe it the way there are for the two conventional Western genders. I dunno if you're trans--as I said, my own gender closely resembles yours, and I don't know if I would describe myself as trans either. I generally prefer to call myself gender-nonconforming and/or a cross dresser. Another possibility is the term genderqueer, if you're into that. You should feel free to explore terminology and take whatever feels like it applies to you (unless it's a term for an established gender in a culture that's not yours--don't, for instance, use the Native American term Two-Spirit to describe yourself if that's not actually part of your cultural heritage, especially if you're white).
Welcome oakly!
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Oh, my partner doesn't really want to meet them, it's just that they're really pushy about it and if we don't go up there often enough, they literally drive the 800 miles to our place. And my partner doesn't want to formally break them off, and doesn't have the energy for an open conflict, so we just kinda minimize our exposure to them as far as we can. But I hope that they'll understand that we'll avoid them unless they start acting better. So either they'll start at least acting better over time, or we'll see less and less of them over time.** spoiler omitted **Maybe it's time, after resting and recovery, to speak with your partner about not visiting family on holidays? Would there be a chance of visiting your family next holidays instead? Or just spend time with friends? Sometimes it's healthier to sever the relations instead of tormenting oneself...
Just remember, as Dan Savage says, your leverage as an adult, self-supporting, independent child of your parents (or your partner in this case) is your presence in their lives. If you're willing to visit them again, you could make an ultimatum: "No anti-LGBT stuff said in our presence or we leave." You don't necessarily have to leave the holidays entirely, but you could have a hotel in the area and go there instead. And then follow through, because they probably will test your boundaries. Leave in the middle of dinner if necessary. Plan for it. If you can't deal with it, don't go. If you don't go, make it known to them why.
If they drive to your house if you don't go to theirs, be somewhere else when they arrive. Or decline to let them in. You don't need to take their calls if you don't want to. You don't have to let them stay with you if you don't want to. You get to decide who you want in your life and you get to distance yourself from toxic people.
That said, I realize this is armchair quarterbacking from a guy with obstensible-straight priviledge.
Do what you can and rely on Team You for support. If the people on this thread can form some part of Team You, please don't hesitate to post here for advice, support and positive vibes.
Finally came out of the closet today.
"God I love my friends" is all I can say right now. The relief is amazing.
Congratulations!
Finally came out of the closet today.
"God I love my friends" is all I can say right now. The relief is amazing.
Congrats. <3
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Just remember, as Dan Savage says, your leverage as an adult, self-supporting, independent child of your parents (or your partner in this case) is your presence in their lives. If you're willing to visit them again, you could make an ultimatum: "No anti-LGBT stuff said in our presence or we leave." You don't necessarily have to leave the holidays entirely, but you could have a hotel in the area and go there instead. And then follow through, because they probably will test your boundaries. Leave in the middle of dinner if necessary. Plan for it. If you can't deal with it, don't go. If you don't go, make it known to them why.If they drive to your house if you don't go to theirs, be somewhere else when they arrive. Or decline to let them in. You don't need to take their calls if you don't want to. You don't have to let them stay with you if you don't want to. You get to decide who you want in your life and you get to distance yourself from toxic people.
That said, I realize this is armchair quarterbacking from a guy with obstensible-straight priviledge.
Do...
Well, both I and my partner have social anxiety, and the whole family is basically "the person who shouts the loudest and is most abbrasive in their claims wins". They're like the offspring between Ayn Rand, Paul Elam, and an ogre tribe. Okay that's probably an exaggeration, but it's along those lines. And my partner is the opposite; deliberative, caring and thoughtful, but shying all kinds of direct confrontation. So that will probably never happen. But thanks for the support. I think at least since I talked to them the 25th, they know why we don't come if we don't come. Though they'll still refuse to believe it.
We have actually talked about pretending not to be there if they drive here, but my partner will probably feel far too guilty (again, a very caring person that wants the best for their family even though they're a*~%*$+s). And honestly, while I wouldn't feel guilty, my social anxiety forces me to be very polite all the time even when I'd prefer to shove them out and lock the door.
But thanks for the support and advice, and I fully agree that one needs to distance oneself from toxic people. It's very hard to live a decent life otherwise.
P.S. as a sidenote, Dan Savage is a wank-stain. Basically, if you're not a white, decently rich, typically good-looking straight or gay cis guy without disabilities, Dan Savage will stomp on you. From actively harassing a young trans kid to his rampant hate against bi people to his fatshaming, I wouldn't use him to quote the weather report.
I disagree with that assessment, and think that LGBT people need to stop savaging (pun intended) their allies and focus on the people who actually intend them harm. But that's not an argument for this thread.
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RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32
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I disagree with that assessment, and think that LGBT people need to stop savaging (pun intended) their allies and focus on the people who actually intend them harm. But that's not an argument for this thread.
I'm not clear on what/whom exactly you're talking about here, but I feel the need to weigh in on this, and I think it's important for anyone who reads or participates in this conversation.
If you intend to be an ally to the queer community, then you've got to actually act like it, and this applies to those within it as well. It's not enough to have "good intentions" if, for instance, you're Dan Savage harmfully participating in bisexual erasure, or if you're a feminist who claims that trans women aren't "real" women, or if your queer community ignores the existence and participation of queer POC.
Hi all! I'm Oakly, a 26 year old cis guy who's bi/fluid sexuality (has shifted over the years a lot). I've been a member her before, under a different name, but mostly lurked this thread back then. Now with a clean slate and anonymous name, I feel I'd like to kinda tell my story and hear if anyone has been through anything similar, because I've kind of been through a progression that I haven't heard anyone else go through.
This is probably going to become a +3 Wall of Text, but if anyone has the time and want to read, I'd be very happy for any feedback. It'd feel weird to, like, register on a forum specifically for this kind of things, so I thought I'd post it here. Thanks.
Welcome, Oakly!
Thanks for sharing; since you asked for feedback, I’ll see what I can do.
In the event, though, after I learned about trans experiences and did some soul-searching, realizing that I couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe that was me too, I did some research in earnest, found things that really spoke to me, got some help, and now here I am, two-ish years into my transition, and happier for it than I would ever have imagined. However, I can certainly imagine a parallel universe somewhere in which someone very like me decided that trans people were neat and good luck to them, but that wasn’t them, personally, and eventually settled on being androgynous, accepting male assignment while exploring and expressing what felt comfortably feminine to them. That is, I absolutely don’t want to insinuate that what you’re feeling is just a phase or any less valid than anyone else’s experience of gender, as opposed to just pointing out overlaps and differences that I notice.
More concretely, as to the some of the details you mentioned, find whatever labels and identities are comfortable for you. If you don’t feel particularly like a man, but don’t mind being defined that way, that’s great! Ditto if you prefer to think of yourself primarily as androgynous, and if you feel drawn to the feminine without feeling like doing anything particular to express it.
However, there are all sorts of ways to be trans*, not all of which stress dysphoria or involve much (or any) desire to intervene on one’s body. mechaPoet mentioned genderqueer, which might work. There’s also transmasculine/transfeminine, in which, as I understand it loosely at the moment, one identifies towards the other end of the spectrum than that to which one was assigned at birth, where, conventionally, sex, gender, and identity/expression all converge. So folks who were assigned male at birth, identify as feminine, but not as women or as female, might identify as transfeminine. (I’ve only ever met a transmasculine person, and I didn’t get to know them well enough to discuss what that meant to them, so take all this with a grain of salt.) Of course, these terms normally bring one under the trans* umbrella, so if cis works for you, then that’s something to bear in mind.
As to fantasies, I’ve posted before about some of my experiences here. Briefly, some well-intentioned people stressed that fantasies across assigned genders don’t dictate identities, which is certainly true. On the other hand, that doesn’t mean that they can’t be a suggestion that one might want to take a closer look at how one identifies. If that point had also been made a bit more strongly, this trans woman might just have come to terms with herself a bit earlier. So I’ll ask what I wish I had been asked: Whatever you honestly answer is OK, but if these fantasies are troubling you, if you were entirely honest with yourself, how do you see yourself and how would you prefer to move through the world?
Two last things, briefly. For what it’s worth, I notice that in your post you wrote that your ideal body would be more feminine, not, I would note, a woman’s body or a female body. Just an observation, to which I would add that that phrasing is honestly something that wouldn’t normally occur to me, as I tend to think of femininity as more active. That is, I can think of things that people might feel are more feminine for themselves, or things (like styles) they might do, but I can’t really think about something as just being feminine without adding, “for me,” or, “from such-and-such a person’s point of view,” and so on. You also mentioned that you had read some gender theory. We can be a bookish crowd here, so if you want to talk more specifically about books, feel free. In general, take your time, and explore, safely, what feels right for you. Hope that helps. :)
I disagree with that assessment, and think that LGBT people need to stop savaging (pun intended) their allies and focus on the people who actually intend them harm. But that's not an argument for this thread.I'm not clear on what/whom exactly you're talking about here, but I feel the need to weigh in on this, and I think it's important for anyone who reads or participates in this conversation.
If you intend to be an ally to the queer community, then you've got to actually act like it, and this applies to those within it as well. It's not enough to have "good intentions" if, for instance, you're Dan Savage harmfully participating in bisexual erasure, or if you're a feminist who claims that trans women aren't "real" women, or if your queer community ignores the existence and participation of queer POC.
Yeah, that. It's one thing to sometimes say or do something stupid by way of ignorance, emotion or general social clumsiness, but when you constantly spout bile over bisexual people, asexual people, trans people, large-bodied people, people who have disabilities etc etc, people of color, and show no sign at all of being honestly sorry about the shit you do, then they're not allies in any way, shape or form. Then they're the enemies, whether they themselves happen to be gay or not.
And he's literally said that he hates trans people. And he's literally been harassing and cyberbullying a trans child for politely asking him not to use the T-word during a lecture with Savage they took part of.
Basically, if you are a white, straight or homosexual cis male with a good job and who's attractive enough that Savage would want to f!#$ you, then he'll be allied with you. If not, he's not going to do anything for you.
Didn't know he was such a jerk, and I live in ny. Hm.
By now, I'm sure many of you have heard about the suicide of trans teen, Leelah Acorn. For those who haven't, this is worth a read.
Heartbreaking. Like I said when I posted about this on facebook, 2014 was a good year for the advancement of trans rights and acceptance, but there is still far to go.
There's a #RealLifeTransAdult hashtag that has sprung up on Twitter in response, in an effort to reach out to trans kids who are suicidal. Hope it does some good, to the extent that stuff like that can help.
Take care of yourselves, everyone, and I hope the new year brings you more happiness than sorrow.
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I wanted to wish everyone a progressive and happy new year. I hope that every makes progress toward goals in their lives, and that each and every one of you achieve your happyness!
I know it can be done and wish you the support and love that is needed to reach yours.