Mojo--for me, the questions above overwhelmed any sense of joy or excitement I may have felt reading the text for the first time.
Changed the koi around to more of a bucking bronco style item...
Koi of the River Above
Aura faint conjuration; CL 5th
Slot none; Price 1,500 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
This carp-shaped streamer is made of light silk stitched with silver scales. When unfurled, it flutters and flexes as though affected by a heavy breeze, regardless of actual weather conditions.
Once per day on command, the streamer may be brought to life for 10 rounds as a silvery, translucent koi. As a move action, the owner may direct the movements of the koi, which arcs and struggles through the air as though swimming against a strong current. The koi has a fly speed of 15' (average) and a Fly score of 12.
Although insubstantial, the koi can carry up to 400 pounds by means of the four rope-like streamer strings attached to its body. Characters or items suspended from the strings are subject to violent motion. Characters so suspended take -4 to melee attack rolls, -8 to ranged attack rolls, and must make concentration checks in order to cast spells. Additionally, unless secured to the string in some fashion, suspended characters must make a DC 10 Acrobatics check each round to continue holding on.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, phantom steed; Cost 750 g
i think your revised version (of the carp) is an improvement. from a rules-fu perspective it should be "has +12 to fly checks" not "a Fly score of 12". also, holding on to something should be a strength check (or possibly a climb check), not an Acrobatics check.
Thanks! You're right about the fly checks.
How certain are you about the strength check thing? The climb skill says it's for advancing "up, down, or across a slope, wall, or other steep incline (or even across a ceiling, provided it has handholds)". And, offhand, this holding on thing is a task that Legolas should be better at than Gimili...
Welcome to the party Lars, I'll have a review of your item when my head isnt so fuzzy from this rotten flu.
On first impression it does seem an unusual idea, take a bleed effect to have better stats.
However, that's a mighty dangerous bleed for a lower level mage. Maybe 1 or 2 point set amount might be better.
As mages tend to have the lowest health pool, I might even consider some other penalty to offset the benefits, not sure what yet (brain pretty non functional), but definitely something to look at.
My only question is, what sort of abilities that a familiar might have does one want for himself at this cost? Low-light vision? SLA from an improved familiar?
My problem with this item is that it falls into the "Magical Caddy" category, where you don't need a bunch of items to give differen abilities, as this does a ton of monster abilities at your disposal.
halfling- climb might be a little more of a stretch than a strength check, in some ways... it does have clear rules for climbing a rope though (which is very closely related to hanging from a rope), and it has built in mechanics for recognizing conditions like encumbrance and/or heavy armor use in the form of armor check penalties (which would explain why legolas in light or no armor would have an easier time than gimli in his heavy armor)
Wax Message Tablets [292 words]
Aura faint abjuration, faint transmutation; CL 3rd
Slot none; Price 2,000 gp; Weight 1 lb. (one tablet)
Description
These two writing tablets are formed from a single block of wax. Each tablet (9 inches wide, 12 inches tall, ¼ inch thick) is embedded in a polished wooden frame, complete with a stylus and slot to store it in. The frame keeps the wax in a usable state; it will not come out of the frame, or soften or harden too much to be used under normal circumstances, even in hot or cold weather. (This first effect does not protect the tablet against any determined attempt to break it, only from the exigencies of day-to-day usage and temperature.)
The real magic of the tablets, however, is the link between them. Any mark made on either tablet appears instantaneously on the other. This effect has no range limitation, but does not function across planar boundaries. Magical writings cannot be duplicated; the text is, but does not function as magical writing on either tablet. Likewise, any magical effects applied to the original writing are not duplicated on the other tablet; inscribing explosive runes on one tablet cannot affect anyone reading the other tablet, for example. Erasing (by smoothing out) marks on either tablet is likewise replicated instantaneously on the other.
If one tablet is broken, the link between the tablets is destroyed permanently. The other tablet remains intact, and the first effect continues to function for it, but impressions are no longer duplicated. A tablet whose link is destroyed no longer radiates transmutation.
It is extremely rare to find two linked tablets together, as their primary use is long-distance communication.
Construction Requirements
Craft Wondrous Item, endure elements, erase, prestidigitation; Cost 1,000 gp
Now, some preemptive commentary & criticism of my own:
First off, this is not a superstar item. Why not? Because it's a world-building item. This is less an item that is going to make a player's eyes pop out of his skull, and more an item that significantly affects the campaign world itself. This essentially has to be setting-specific, because of how instant, long-range, low-cost communication changes everything. I don't think of it as a plot-device item, because it's less about an item that solves the need of a specific adventure plot, and more about an item that serves the need of a certain campaign setting.
I first envisioned this around a year ago, when trying to find a low-cost way of providing push notifications of information from agents my character had. At the time, we were limited to polling; i.e. each day, we would contact some number of agents via scrying and ask if they had news for us. But the bandwith on that was very low; we could easily miss the opportunity to use some information because the agent couldn't get it to us before it became obsolete and useless. Bird tokens could possibly have been used to signal for a scrying call; anything better required either that the agents be spellcasters or tremendous costs (crystal ball, for example, is far too expensive). So I spent some time thinking, and remembered the many fantasy novels that base much of their magic in principles such as sympathy or sameness. I could make a pair of items that replicate writing because they are made of the same object, and what you do to one is done to the other.
Word count limitations left me not bringing up any of the implications to a campaign setting, or the limitations. For one, a user really needs some sort of established protocol because otherwise it is easy for your message to be lost (if you write something, then erase it, you have no way to know that someone at the other side read what you wrote before you erased it). For another, you know what tablet the message will go to; you don't truly know if Bob still has that tablet. These sorts of limitations put it notably weaker than, for example, sending, despite the presumably greater message length (and potential for art). I would have liked to give a rough estimate on how much text fits on a page, but didn't have room for that. (Less writing than you would think, given that a wax tablet & stylus will not let you write particularly small.) Sketches and even impressions could also be duplicated.
Instantaneous, long-range communication, at affordable prices and without requiring a spellcaster active at either end can change a great deal. A nation or organization that invests in these tablets can eliminate time lag on information; this renders some types of adventures moot, but can introduce new types. For example, there is no need to rush news of an invasion to the capital; they can be told instantly (you still want to outrun the invading army to avoid being killed by it). Mostly, it affects how you structure the campaign world, moreso than adventures.
Pricing and spell requirements were the difficulties here; I put the price at 2,000 largely because the point is affordable communication; I would love for it to be even lower, but 2,000 is in the range of the figurine of wondrous power: silver raven, which seemed a reasonable comparison as a re-usable text-based communications device. Spells-wise, there really aren't spells at reasonable levels which create this sort of link between objects (shield other came to mind, but really doesn't make sense, so I decided to assume a link exists, and spells are just needed to do the text duplication. I threw in the first effect when I considered that a wax tablet is vulnerable to temperature changes; endure elements seems to suffice there.
Let's see if a slightly more evocative description can create some mojo for Mr. NotaHobbit. :)
Sacred Crystal Chalice (228 words)
Aura faint transmutation and necromancy; CL 1st
Slot none; Price 900 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
Fashioned from clear, flawless crystal, this chalice is etched all over with decorative patterns, sometimes with symbols of a specific benign deity, sometimes with generic symbols of power and light. Its edge and stem are elegant and thin, though despite its fragile appearance, the chalice has the strength and resiliency of adamantine.
Using the chalice as a material focus allows the wielder to turn water held within the chalice into holy water, using the spell bless water, without expending the normal material component cost. The chalice holds one flask’s worth of water, and can be used in this manner up to three times each day.
If the chalice is filled with holy water, the wielder may, as a standard action, begin running his finger around the rim of the chalice, creating a musical note of unparalleled purity. All undead creatures within 50 feet that can hear the ringing suffer a -1 penalty to attack rolls and 1d4 points of damage. A successful Will save negates the damage. The ringing can be maintained each round as a move action. This is a sonic effect. Once the wielder stops ringing the chalice, the holy water inside becomes ordinary water.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, bless water, disrupt undead; Cost 450 gp
Changed the koi around to more of a bucking bronco style item...Koi of the River Above
You have an interesting idea here, can I ask what you see it's intended use as?
Let's see if a slightly more evocative description can create some mojo for Mr. NotaHobbit. :)
Sacred Crystal Chalice (228 words)
Aura faint transmutation and necromancy; CL 1st
Slot none; Price 900 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
Fashioned from clear, flawless crystal, this chalice is etched all over with decorative patterns, sometimes with symbols of a specific benign deity, sometimes with generic symbols of power and light. Its edge and stem are elegant and thin, though despite its fragile appearance, the chalice has the strength and resiliency of adamantine.Using the chalice as a material focus allows the wielder to turn water held within the chalice into holy water, using the spell bless water, without expending the normal material component cost. The chalice holds one flask’s worth of water, and can be used in this manner up to three times each day.
If the chalice is filled with holy water, the wielder may, as a standard action, begin running his finger around the rim of the chalice, creating a musical note of unparalleled purity. All undead creatures within 50 feet that can hear the ringing suffer a -1 penalty to attack rolls and 1d4 points of damage. A successful Will save negates the damage. The ringing can be maintained each round as a move action. This is a sonic effect. Once the wielder stops ringing the chalice, the holy water inside becomes ordinary water.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, bless water, disrupt undead; Cost 450 gp
I like what you have here, it's neat low level cleric item. I have a couple of suggestions that might help you make it tighter.
1) Does it allow anyone to change the water into holy water, or does it just allow a cleric to cast bless water substituting the chalice as the material component? Does the wielder have to have bless water prepared or castable in some way for this function to work? I think I know what you are going for but it isn't clear.
2)I like how you swapped out the ray effect of disrupt undead for an area effect. That's a cool way of avoiding the SIAC completely. I think that the range is a bit far for a 1 CL, I get that you are going for a low price item, but the range of that spell is pretty low to begin with. I see you are trading down to a lower damage die but you might look at that and your caster level to see about a better balance.
I hope that helps... I love seeing this community working together to become better designers.
Hmmm, I thought the line about using the bless water spell made it clear that you still have to cast the spell, just not pay the powdered silver material cost. I'll think of another way of saying it that's clearer.
As for the range, it was 50 feet because it was originally a bane spell effect that affected undead. I was leary of including it in the construction requirements, as it's enchantment, meaning there would be three auras, needlessly complex and approaching SAK status. Making it 30 feet and CL 3 should take care of the problem, though, and I don't see any reason to raise the cost.
Hmmm, I thought the line about using the bless water spell made it clear that you still have to cast the spell, just not pay the powdered silver material cost. I'll think of another way of saying it that's clearer.
As for the range, it was 50 feet because it was originally a bane spell effect that affected undead. I was leary of including it in the construction requirements, as it's enchantment, meaning there would be three auras, needlessly complex and approaching SAK status. Making it 30 feet and CL 3 should take care of the problem, though, and I don't see any reason to raise the cost.
To help clarify, that is the way I read it but then saw the spell was also listed as a crafting requirement. That lead me to think the item did the blessing not a spell caster which IMO makes more sense for a wondrous item.
You have an interesting idea here, can I ask what you see it's intended use as?
Changed the koi around to more of a bucking bronco style item...Koi of the River Above
A low level flying item.
nazard,
i like the chalice concept but i believe it has a fatal flaw. it allows its owner to produce 75g worth of holy water every day for free... and how often will they use that? once/week, maybe? even selling at half price they can use the item to net 37.5g a day- even on days they adventure. that might not sound like a ton of money but considering you could have this by 2nd or 3rd level it could become pretty unbalancing ("ok, it took us two weeks to travel to this town where we have an adventure lead, so i sell my 525g worth of holy water"). other than that, andrew's advice sounds good.
phelan,
welcome to the party. when i give my opinions i try to be encouraging but honest (cause we won't improve unless people point out our mistakes)- if i ever come across as harsh i apologize, i'm just trying to help. also, i try to keep my posts from turning into walls of text, so you get a
- you're creation description, which is interesting (and deeply rooted in historical understanding of magic) is dangerously close to the 'no backstory' rule
- you really need to include a limit on how many words it can hold at a time
- mechanics/game balance... no spell exists at low level for the effect you're creating because its not a low level effect. this item is basically replicating sending (4th lvl cleric spell) at will- limited to one plane and its partner tablet, yes, but even so that effect is superior to whispering wind (2nd lvl sor/wiz spell) so its basically around a 3rd level spell effect. an item that uses a 3rd level spell at will should cost 30,000g (3x5x2000)and it should have one of the two spells i mentioned (realistically, sending)as a creation requirement.
Ack! I left out the line that the water only stays "holy" for 24 hours (or until the next sunrise, hadn't decided which). Thanks for pointing that out.
As for the chalice making holy water all by itself, that would make it fall into the brews stuff category, which always gets slammed by the judges.
Now that said, I doubt that ringing the rim of a glass is classy enough to superstar the judges, but for me? I like it.
While I don't dislike the item, I can't say it packs any particular mojo. I mean, it didn't engender any emotional reaction at all while I read the description.. or afterwards, for that matter.
** spoiler omitted **
** spoiler omitted **
So, maybe switch the order? I know one shouldn't bury the lead, and the ringing is a much cooler part of the item than making holy water more cheaply. It just seemed to me that the holy water property led neatly into the ringing property, and putting it after would make it seem like, "this item needs a valuable substance to work, and oh look, the item makes that tuff, too!"
I would probably recommend switching the order. Better aesthetics all around, IMO. Intuitively, it seems that with a little experimentation you should find a way to make the whole description flow naturally from your lede.
honestly, nazard, i think you need to either remove the requirement of being full of holy water for the second power to function or have the cup be able create holy water itself (that lasts one round after being poured out, or for 24 hours or something). the problem as it stands now (imo) is that without somehow limiting the holy water its a low-level free cash machine, but if you nerf the holy water than you're requiring people to prepare a spell while adventuring that they would normally use on 'off days' and then weakening that spell to boot.
I wonder how I'd missed whispering wind; it's a lot closer to the tablet's effect than any other spell out there, including the effective limitation that you're sending to a place, not a person.
The name is certainly immensely uninspired (but marginally better than the working title, "Message Tablets", and it's not very big on mojo, but I knew that it wasn't Superstar material as a world-building item. After edits, I did have enough room to put in a word limit (initially, I was too close to the 300-word limit), though I'm not sure how I'd determine that. With something like sending, why 25 words? Because it's magic! But with a tablet that you actually write on, the number of words is dependent on space, which makes me want to go and put a character limit, rather than a word limit.
I think it's fine, actually, that the rules don't facilitate a cheap means of long-range communication; having something like that introduces major changes in the world itself. Certainly one of my characters very much wants such an item to exist (or did, before his cohort retired from following him around). But anything like that needs to be setting-specific.
If anyone's willing to give it a second pass for holes in the writeup; abuse potential / lack of clarity / formatting fail / etc., I'd appreciate that.
A low level flying item.
I don't mean to trash your idea, because I like the flying Koi streamer idea, but let me point out that a potion of fly will give a character the same ability with out the rough current negatives and with better movement and for only 750gp. What other ways could this flying fish be useful to a character or an adventuring party?
honestly, nazard, i think you need to either remove the requirement of being full of holy water for the second power to function or have the cup be able create holy water itself (that lasts one round after being poured out, or for 24 hours or something). the problem as it stands now (imo) is that without somehow limiting the holy water its a low-level free cash machine, but if you nerf the holy water than you're requiring people to prepare a spell while adventuring that they would normally use on 'off days' and then weakening that spell to boot.
Excellent points. That's always the problem with magic items that make other magic items, and why I don't like them. The point that it makes clerics prepare a useless spell is quite valid. If there isn't holy water in the chalice, there's no real point to connecting the sound to hurting undead, and if the ringing is all it does, then it's not Superstar.
If the chalice makes holy water on its own with nothing from the user, then it's a source of free 2d6 damage against undead all the time. However, allowing a positive energy channel or healing spell to turn water into 24-hour holy water would solve the problem. Makes using the device too complicated, though.
I agree that the koi needs something else. Unfortunately, I haven't yet got any great ideas that fit the dual themes of kite-like levitation and carp-like determination and struggle.
However, the potion is a one-time effect whereas the koi of the river above can be used once per day, so I'm not sure that a straight price comparison between the two is quite right.
Okay, how about this? Really pushing up against the word count here.
Koi of the River Above (295 words)
Aura faint conjuration and illusion; CL 5th
Slot none; Price 1,500 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
This carp-shaped streamer is made of light silk stitched with silver scales. When unfurled, it flutters and flexes as though affected by a heavy breeze, regardless of actual weather conditions.
Once per day on command, the streamer may be brought to life for 10 rounds as a silvery, translucent koi. As a move action, the owner may direct the movements of the koi, which arcs and struggles through the air as though swimming against a strong current. The koi has a fly speed of 15' (average) and +12 to Fly checks.
Although insubstantial, the koi can carry up to 400 pounds of material by means of the four rope-like streamer strings attached to its body. Characters suspended from the strings are subject to violent motion and take -4 to melee attack rolls, -8 to ranged attack rolls, and must make concentration checks in order to cast spells. Additionally, unless secured to the string in some fashion, characters so suspended must make a DC 10 Strength check each round to maintain their grip.
While the koi is active, it may be commanded to "persevere", causing the streamer strings to turn insubstantial. For four rounds, the koi writhes and leaps upward as if ascending a waterfall, finally vaulting up and disappearing in a silvery cloud of mist. On the next round, the koi reappears as an illusory adult (imperial) sovereign dragon (treat as a DC 16 major image that requires no concentration and always reacts appropriately). The illusion can be directed with a move action and lasts for the remainder of the effect's duration.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, major image, phantom steed; Cost 750 gp
Wax Message Tablets [292 words]
Aura faint abjuration, faint transmutation; CL 3rd
Slot none; Price 2,000 gp; Weight 1 lb. (one tablet)
Description
These two writing tablets are formed from a single block of wax. Each tablet (9 inches wide, 12 inches tall, ¼ inch thick) is embedded in a polished wooden frame, complete with a stylus and slot to store it in. The frame keeps the wax in a usable state; it will not come out of the frame, or soften or harden too much to be used under normal circumstances, even in hot or cold weather. (This first effect does not protect the tablet against any determined attempt to break it, only from the exigencies of day-to-day usage and temperature.)It seems like a lot of trouble to explain this item. I completely understand why you wrote it out, but why make it out of wax? Why not more conventional writing implements?
The real magic of the tablets, however, is the link between them. Any mark made on either tablet appears instantaneously on the other. This effect has no range limitation, but does not function across planar boundaries. Magical writings cannot be duplicated; the text is, but does not function as magical writing on either tablet. Likewise, any magical effects applied to the original writing are not duplicated on the other tablet; inscribing explosive runes on one tablet cannot affect anyone reading the other tablet, for example. Erasing (by smoothing out) marks on either tablet is likewise replicated instantaneously on the other.
This item might fall under the dreaded "makes adventuring easy" category that Dancy dislikes so much. In your own critique of your item you said that this item came about because you wanted to create an easier way for characters to communicate. I would put forth that lower level characters shouldn't have an easy way of communicating. If you look at it from a designers perspective, they have to try and create a balanced game that won't be broken by spells, feats, classes, archetypes and magic items. This item at low levels might be out of balance in their eyes.
If one tablet is broken, the link between the tablets is destroyed permanently. The other tablet remains intact, and the first effect continues to function for it, but impressions are no longer duplicated. A tablet whose link is destroyed no longer radiates transmutation.
It is extremely rare to find two linked tablets together, as their primary use is long-distance communication.
Why not use message in the spell requirements.erase and prestidigitation seem secondary to the main effect.
Construction Requirements
Craft Wondrous Item, endure elements, erase, prestidigitation; Cost 1,000 gpOn the plus side, I found it very well written and formatted correctly, except for putting Construction on the same line as Requirements. I completely left out the word Construction on my RPG Superstar submission and got gigged for it.
Now, some preemptive commentary & criticism of my own:
** spoiler omitted **...
I would say that I always thought of the tablets as more of a cheap way to have communication, more for an organization than a low-level PC. Obviously they can be applied either way. I already knew the tablets weren't superstar, more of world-building, and something like this should be world-specific, showing up in, say, a campaign setting book, rather than a general book of magic items.
I had picked wax as an old-fashioned writing surface, and something that could reasonably work with the "two items are linked because they're made from the same object" setup, and then threw in most of the first paragraph to avoid any issues like the wax hardening or melting.
Construction-wise, I went and looked at actual wondrous items where it looked like Construction Requirements was one line; largely because I already had those open; should have checked the proper template. I had decided to use spells that facilitate writing/erasing (i]autonomous cartographer[/i] being a source), rather than communications spells. Whispering wind actually would have been a great choice, given that it is by far the most similar.
Much appreciated.
[b]Koi of the River Above[/i]
I like the concept of the additional feature, but I have trouble seeing that as very useful, largely given the delay. A character has at best six rounds of an illusory dragon, which doesn't appear for four rounds after a command is given. The duration is too short to bring this up in advance (generally), and the lead time is too long to bring it up during an encounter. As a combat illusion, the combat may well be over by the time the dragon image appears, and out of combat, you've got to stall for four rounds. I see where it's going, and it's cool, but is it a feature that would see use?
I'm also a little concerned about how low that weight limit is, if a party wants to travel with it, rather than having it carry some gear for them. Everything except gnomes and halflings are likely to exceed 100 lb. naked, which means that it won't carry a party (can comfortably carry 2-3 characters, I would estimate, or a good load of stuff (though then the party needs to be able to follow).
A new version so different, it might as well be a different item. I think this version neatly gets around the problem of making lakes of holy water, tightens the theme around blessings, and makes it an item usable by anybody, not just a cleric. This is an excellent item for a party facing lots of undead without a cleric or paladin, even though it no longer does anything to undead creatures directly. I can see a bard or summoner being good users of this chalice, hanging out in the back, ringing the chalice and supporting with spells, etc.
Crystal Chalice of Blessings (292 words)
Aura faint enchantment and transmutation; [/b] CL 3rd
Slot none; Price 1,200 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
Fashioned from clear, flawless crystal, this chalice bears etchings in decorative patterns, sometimes symbols of a specific benign deity, sometimes generic symbols of power and light. Its edge and stem are elegant and thin. Despite its fragile appearance, the chalice has the strength and resiliency of adamantine.
When the user fills the chalice with water (a move action) and runs his finger along the edge (a standard action), a bright, clear note of unparalleled beauty fills the air. All allies of the user within 50 feet who can hear the note gain a +1 morale bonus to attack rolls.
If instead, the user fills the chalice with holy water, a chord of perfect harmony resounds when he rings the chalice. In addition to the above benefit, a single weapon (or end of a double weapon) of each ally’s choice that he is wielding becomes affected as if by the spell bless weapon.
The user may maintain the ringing of the chalice (and its effects) each round as a move action. If an ally leaves the area of effect (or the ability to hear the note), he loses the benefits of the chalice, even if he later reenters the area. After three rounds of continuous ringing, the water in the chalice becomes holy water, if it wasn’t already, granting the improved benefits. The water remains holy while it stays in the chalice, and for one hour afterwards. The chalice can be rung for a total of ten rounds each day, though these rounds do not need to be consecutive.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, bless, bless water, bless weapon; Cost 600 gp
A couple minor issues in here:
A new version so different, it might as well be a different item. I think this version neatly gets around the problem of making lakes of holy water, tightens the theme around blessings, and makes it an item usable by anybody, not just a cleric. This is an excellent item for a party facing lots of undead without a cleric or paladin, even though it no longer does anything to undead creatures directly. I can see a bard or summoner being good users of this chalice, hanging out in the back, ringing the chalice and supporting with spells, etc.
Crystal Chalice of Blessings (292 words)
Aura faint enchantment and transmutation; [/b] CL 3rdCL needs bolding; that just looks like a simple slipup in forum markup (it took me a couple rounds of previews to get that right when I put in forum markup to replace the word processor formatting)
Slot none; Price 1,200 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
Fashioned from clear, flawless crystal, this chalice bears etchings in decorative patterns, sometimes symbols of a specific benign deity, sometimes generic symbols of power and light. Its edge and stem are elegant and thin. Despite its fragile appearance, the chalice has the strength and resiliency of adamantine.I'm not quite keen on "a specific benign deity" as a phrase, but I recognize that as a personal thing, not an actual problem.
When the user fills the chalice with water (a move action) and runs his finger along the edge (a standard action), a bright, clear note of unparalleled beauty fills the air. All allies of the user within 50 feet who can hear the note gain a +1 morale bonus to attack rolls.
If instead, the user fills the chalice with holy water, a chord of perfect harmony resounds when he rings the chalice. In addition to the above benefit, a single weapon (or end of a double weapon) of each ally’s choice that he is wielding becomes affected as if by the spell bless weapon.
The user may maintain the ringing of the chalice (and its effects) each round as a move action. If an ally leaves the area of effect (or the ability to hear the note), he loses the benefits of the chalice, even if he later reenters the area. After three rounds of continuous ringing, the water in the chalice becomes holy water, if it wasn’t already, granting the improved benefits. The water remains holy while...
"(or the ability to hear the note)" ==> "(or loses the ability to hear the note)"
"even if he later reenters the area" : add "or regains the ability to hear the note". I know you're close on the word count limit; those edits put you exactly one word over, I believe, so they're not perfect.
Otherwise, this looks good. The link to dealing with undead is swapped to one against evil, which is certainly fine. Looks pretty good as a low-level buff for one or two fights a day, costing someone about the same as bard song.
i'm short on time, so i leave it to someone else to amke sure the pricing is accurate, but i think this is much improved. you should add a limit to the number of people that can be effected by the second power though (the potential to hit 2 or 3 hundred soldiers if used in the middle of a formation, while an extreme case, is just too much).
To be honest, while I appreciate that some characters can break the item to affect that many, it's just not worth wasting the words on, or really being a huge problem if it is used that way. At that point, you're into mass combat rules, and this little item isn't even going to make a blip. The item takes care of all reasonable uses of the item, doesn't let you wander around an entire dungeon ringing it non-stop, and other possible normal exploits.
The "or loses the ability to hear the note" edit does sound better than what I had. Thanks. I would like to have the "or regains the ability to hear the note" line as well, but the common sense part of me reads that into the description automatically. Maybe it's dangerous expecting every gamer to possess that trait, however.
I'm really just skimming at the moment, but I did catch one thing in your latest koi streamer, HalflingnotHobbit. Obviously at 295, you're still below word count, but you have language you could tighten if need be.
In this sentence -- "Once per day on command, the streamer may be brought to life for 10 rounds as a silvery, translucent koi." -- change "may be brought to life" to "comes to life" or even "comes alive"; both are more active construction to boot. (Also in your last description graf, the comma after persevere should be inside the quote.)
Not sure I like the last power -- I was thinking more that it would take a few rounds and then suddenly pull people up to the top (so basically let them ascend 60 feet without having to worry about climb checks and being vulnerable) -- but I do still really like the basics of this item.
Also, the bless spell, on which the base effect of the chalice is based, has the same 50-ft. radius and no target limit. Plus lasting longer. So I wouldn't worry about that.
Pricing is a bit complex; we've got at most 3 castings of bless water, 10 rounds of bless, and up to 10 rounds of, effectively, mass bless weapon. The first two are reasonably straightforward in isolation (though the fact that they overlap may complicate things), but the fact that the bless weapon affects far more targets complicates.
That seems to indicate that 1,200 is going to be too low.
One other thing: it would be good to note how much water the chalice holds (I presume 1 pint, similar to what bless water affects, but specifying is good; effectively, how many holy water splash weapons (good for 1 hour) can a character make from a full chalice?)
Also, the bless spell, on which the base effect of the chalice is based, has the same 50-ft. radius and no target limit. Plus lasting longer. So I wouldn't worry about that.
Pricing is a bit complex; we've got at most 3 castings of bless water, 10 rounds of bless, and up to 10 rounds of, effectively, mass bless weapon. The first two are reasonably straightforward in isolation (though the fact that they overlap may complicate things), but the fact that the bless weapon affects far more targets complicates.
That seems to indicate that 1,200 is going to be too low.
One other thing: it would be good to note how much water the chalice holds (I presume 1 pint, similar to what bless water affects, but specifying is good; effectively, how many holy water splash weapons (good for 1 hour) can a character make from a full chalice?)
Yes, I left out the line that says the chalice only makes one flask's worth at a time.
I had hoped that the chalice only making 1 weapon blessed (and only for a very short time that requires one character to concentrate on to maintain) would mitigate the cost somewhat.
But as you say, pricing is complex. And as I think Neil said at one point, if it isn't hard to price the item, that's a bad sign (paraphrased).
Really, the main complexity I see is with addressing the multiple spell effects, and because of the overlap.
10 rounds of bless alone, usable per-round, is essentially 400 gp at CL 1st (1 x 1 x 2000 / 5 gp); similar to boots of speed.
3 bless water per day, again at CL 1st, is 1,200 gp, though we can probably discount this for the water losing the blessing an hour after leaving the chalice. If we give that a 50% discount, then 600 + (400 x 1.5) is 1,200 gp for these two effects, at CL 1st. But we're CL 3rd, which jacks the cost up (for no real benefit in this case).
The bless weapon effect is perhaps better described as a communal bless weapon rather than mass bless weapon, given the shorter duration (10 rounds maximum, instead of 1 min/level), making that more like a 2nd-level spell effect, rather than 5th. This, at least, justifies the CL 3rd.
Now if the chalice couldn't make holy water, there'd be a discount on the bless weapon for the holy water cost. At least, if it was consumed. As things stand, one vial of holy water powers this forever, we can get it free with 3 rounds (many players would argue they don't need to empty the chalice, or if so, could re-use the same holy water vial each time). So I'm inclined to ignore any possible discounting of the bless weapon effect because of the holy water requirement.
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I like both versions of your chalice but I really like the first version's concept. With a little work I think you could really tighten this up into a sweet low level item and I have a special fondness for low level magic items that deliver.
900 gp (450 if you're making it yourself) seems like an easy way to crank out a hefty profit on holy water. Probably the easiest way around this would be to remove the create holy water power or perhaps 3/day have the holy water produced (when used as a power component) do 1d6+1 damage. The second option certainly would increase the item's overall cost but doesn't sacrifice a cool element.
What I really like about this item is AoE disrupt undead with the lower dmg die. Like the Andrew Black I'm not sure the range works for the listed pricing but I liked the concept on first read through.
What I worry about here is that while you have avoided spell in can we end up with something the resembles channeling in a can. (I know the damage die and energy source are different but I'm not sure that matters.) I'd like to see something that could really make this version stand out.
My suggestion: have the item do something more interesting to the undead than HP damage: force undead in the AoE make a Will save or be slowed or have it deal Strength or Charisma damage with an unsuccessful save instead of HP. Once you decide on your cool effect go back and reprice the whole thing.
Just a couple of thoughts this version is cool and could be tuned up pretty easily.
I think you're right about the second power of the koi, Jacob and Phelan. I'll tinker around today and see if I can't come up with something a little better.
Jacob, good catch with the language thing. I really struggled with the phrasing of that particular sentence for some reason.
Switched up the last power.
Koi of the River Above [292 words]
Aura faint conjuration; CL 5th
Slot none; Price 1,500 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
This carp-shaped streamer is made of light silk stitched with silver scales. When unfurled, it flutters and flexes as though affected by a heavy breeze, regardless of actual weather conditions.
Once per day on command, the streamer may come to life for 10 rounds as a silvery, translucent koi. As a move action, the owner may direct the movements of the koi, which arcs and struggles through the air as though swimming against a strong current. The koi has a fly speed of 15' (average) and +12 to Fly checks.
Although insubstantial, the koi can carry up to 400 pounds of material by means of the four rope-like streamer strings attached to its body. Characters suspended from the strings are subject to violent motion and take -4 to melee attack rolls, -8 to ranged attack rolls, and must make concentration checks in order to cast spells. Additionally, unless secured to the string in some fashion, characters so suspended must make a DC 10 Strength check each round to maintain their grip.
While the koi is active, it may be commanded to "persevere", causing the koi to writhe and vault upward for four rounds, as if ascending an unseen waterfall. At the beginning of the fifth round the koi disappears in a cloud of white mist, instantly reappearing as an insubstantial, translucent adult (imperial) sovereign dragon. For the remainder of the effect's duration, the koi's movements are smooth and fluid, imparting no extra penalty to those it carries; additionally, its fly speed increases to 50' (average) and it can carry up to 1000 lbs.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, phantom steed; Cost 750 gp
Hi all,
Here's my second practice item - please be gentle is was born admist the flu and likely suffered because of it. :)
Enjoy.
Arctic Winds Dance Fan [ 289 words]
Aura faint abjuration and evocation(air); CL 3rd
Slot hand; Price 2,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
This oriental dancing fan is made with translucent strips of ice held within ivory rib bars.
Unfurling the fan with a flick of the wrist, you can perform a fan dance for one full round which creates a localised actic breeze encircling your body. These cold air currents reduce the harmful effects of fire and heat, providing resistance 10 against the first fire based attack you suffer. Once in place, you may stop dancing, your protection lasts for five rounds before evaporating away. This dance does not provoke attacks of opportunity. You may dance as often as you like in an encounter but can perform no other combat actions if you do so.
You can also hold the fan before you, creating a breeze of sufficient strength to fill the sails of a light sailing vessel to achieve a speed of 5 knots, but only if the vessel is becalmed. This effect can also be used to try and clear areas of gas and mist. You must fan continuouly for this effect with normal fatigue checks will apply after 5 minutes.
If the fan is held closed, and moved sharply from left to right in front of you, opening with a flick at the centre of this movement, the slips of ice detach from the fan, spreading out and hitting the floor creating a 30 x 30 sheen of ice directly in front of you. This is considered difficult terrain and lasts for 10 rounds. The ice replenishes in the fan 24 hours later.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, gust of wind, resist energy (fire); Cost 1,000 gp
Arctic Winds Dance Fan
actic ==> arctic is the first thing I saw, but that's a flu typo, I think.
"providing resistance 10 against the first fire based attack you suffer": is this meant to be distinct from "resist fire 10"? That's a pretty standard mechanic, and ties in with the resist energy requirement. But this writeup seems to imply you actually get resist fire 10 against just one fire-based attack each time you perform the fan dance.
Second power, I'm not sure what you mean by normal fatigue checks. Hustling deals nonlethal damage with no check, forced marches require a Con check, and in either case you are only fatigued while you have nonlethal damage. Five minutes of fanning is going to fatigue you as badly as two hours of hustling?
Does the final power disable the first two for 24 hours, or just itself?
In requirements, I don't believe you need to specify the element for the resist energy spell. I think you're looking to prevent someone who for some reason can only cast resist energy and pick cold, or similar, from creating the item? You might want to consider requiring 2 ranks or so in Perform (dance) for the construction as well, but there's no reason to really require that.
Side note: I'm starting to adjust my design towards replenishing at a given time of day, rather than a time period, because it makes for that little bit less bookkeeping. (As a GM I wouldn't want to have to track what time of day yesterday's encounters were.)
Hi all,
Here's my second practice item - please be gentle is was born admist the flu and likely suffered because of it. :)
Enjoy.
Arctic Winds Dance Fan
Unfurling the fan with a flick of the wrist, you can perform a fan dance for one full round which creates a localised actic breeze encircling your body...... You may dance as often as you like in an encounter but can perform no other combat actions if you do so.
This doesn't make sense. I can dace for 1 full round to get five rounds of resistance but for the rest of the combat all I can do is dance more because I can't take any combat actions?? I think your FLU FU got YOU here.
Ah, yeah, artic - sniffle!
On the dancing in combat, basically, you dance, you get a resist 10 fire for the first fire attack made at you within 5 rounds of dancing.
Continuing to dance after gaining that one shot resistance wasn't supposed to be needed. It's a fire and forget till used thing.
What I was trying to convery in my flu muddled state was something like this.
Roudn 1 Dance full round action.
Round 2 combat/move as normal - no fire attack thwarted, still got it
Round 3 combat/move as normal - no fire attack thwarted, still got it
Round 4 subjected to two fire attacks, resist used on first one, combat/move as normal
Round 5 it's gone, so can choose to dance again to put it back or carry on normal combat/move...
and so on, i.e. you have to dance to put it back once it's used, you dont have to carry on dancing.
I'll reword it once my brain is fully functioning.
Yeah, fatigue, what I was trying to get at is your arms will tire quickly - try holding a bag of sugar our straight, moving up and down gently - you will be surprised how quick you get achy. Will revisit this too.
God, my brain is so fuzzed, of course, by normal fatigue checks, I meant the Con check - didnt want to quote existing rules, so thats a definite brain flump moment.
Yeah, I was looking at midnight as the colder part of the day for recharge too. I may just change it to that.
I got the only need to spend a full round action dancing once; I was questioning that you get the resistance against exactly one attack, rather than against all attacks for the 5-round duration, say.
I know quite well how fast arms get tired, now that I spend an hour a night trying to talk the dog into not pulling :) But then... I'm not an adventurer; who, even if a wizard, is likely fitter than I am. Probably I'd just say you become fatigued after 5 or 10 minutes, the end. Though Con checks every 5-10 minutes, nonlethal if you fail, fatigued as long as you have nonlethal from this source works... but eats up a lot of word count.
Are the effects entirely separated? If you use the difficult terrain power, does that affect your ability to use the fire resistance or wind powers until the ice recharges?
I don't believe you need the descriptor in your aura, also.
Unrelatedly, I'm noticing that most of the item ideas I have so far are either "this character wants that!" or "this is a great item to help with world-building". The former is a pretty good flag of "this will need to be toned down a bunch and generalized a bit", while the latter can easily result in items like the wax tablets; they break major assumptions (but help distinguish the setting they exist in).
"Unrelatedly, I'm noticing that most of the item ideas I have so far are either "this character wants that!" or "this is a great item to help with world-building". The former is a pretty good flag of "this will need to be toned down a bunch and generalized a bit", while the latter can easily result in items like the wax tablets; they break major assumptions (but help distinguish the setting they exist in)."
Interesting observation, I will think on this - it may be a side effect of restricting this months practice to the low end item.
Maybe, maybe not; many of these are ideas I've had for a while, and I think a lot stem from my experience. I play a lot, and I do a lot of high-level campaign setting design, but I have extremely little actual GMing experience.
I'm currently playing in 3 bi-weekly games; with some notes from another one which ended. The wax message tablets were devised for one of those, to support a spy organization (though on reflection they became a world-building item). I have rough notes for some sort of glove that applies slow and possibly immobilize effects to [cold] spells, but I hesitate to write up anything like that; it's really an obvious want for a cold-specialist, and useless for anyone else. (I had been playing a cold/dragon sorcerer). I have two iterations of a SAK helm of stuff any frontliner would want (with two actually interesting effects, one of which is a straight Intimidate boost and one of which is based on a 3.5 PHB2 spell; the former might fit into this round price-wise). Another item idea is the latest evolution of 3.5 Complete Arcane's Mage of the Arcane Order's Spellpool feature, thrown in initially as world-building.
Many of the for-a-character items are attempts to give them something that fits the character and is at least somewhat unique & iconic. Albrecht is scary and specializes in fighting mages (by which I actually mean he has huge saves and a feat that has come into play once in 18 levels)? Intimidate boosters, see invisibility, see in magical darkness, and some sort of ways to mess with spellcasters! Kirill is a frost mage? Add features to [cold] spells! Garic thinks he's James Bond? Gadgets! (Actually I've just been surveying for gadget-like wondrous items for him.)
World-building... Atlantean sorcerers have greater power than other spellcasters? There should be a feat or item that does this for them! But then that's going to be something everyone wants.
But it all means I'm approaching item ideas in not the best way; I'm taking an item a character or setting wants, rather than trying to make something because it's interesting in of itself. Of course I can get to items interesting in of themselves from there. But it's also really easy to get to something unbalanced or uninteresting from those starting points.
Here's a new practice item, just a single feature of one of those for-a-character items I mentioned.
Helm of the Dread Warrior [112 words]
Aura faint necromancy; CL 5th
Slot head; Price 5,000 gp; Weight 4 lb.
Description
This heavy metal helm is generally sculpted into a frightening shape; especially common are dragon heads and faceless masks.
Three times per day the helmet allows the wearer to use Intimidate to demoralize opponents as a swift action, rather than a standard action. This affects any creatures which the wearer has damaged with a melee attack during his turn. The wearer makes a single Intimidate check and compares it against the DC for each creature he is trying to affect.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, cause fear, Intimidate 5 ranks; Cost 2,500 gp
Ok, to avoid wall of text...
First thing I notice: I've got plenty, plenty, plenty of word count left here. I could do a lot more with the writeup, if I wanted. I actually figure on later putting together a Greater Helm of the Dread Warrior, which takes this feature and adds a second, more powerful one.
So the obvious: this item was invented for a fighter-type with Intimidate who was saddened that he almost never got to use the skill. (It wasn't convincing many people to do what we wanted, especially the way the DM ran it; if threats wouldn't move the person, the skill was essentially useless.) Initially, priced for 3.5 (Intimidate was weaker) and with a modified crafting costs system, the DM put it at 4,000 gp... for free action, unlimited use (but still with the "creatures the wearer has damaged" restriction). I changed that for two reasons: first, unlimited uses leads to a potentially ridiculous amount of rolls, every round, and that bogs down gameplay. So I limited the uses per day, and made explicit my implicit notion that this is for weapon attacks, no fireballs, for example. (A sorcerer can be really, really good at that.) Second, I changed the action from free to swift; for the original character, the difference was meaningless as he had no swift actions to take, but it is better balance, especially given that it is more likely melee types will have swift actions to take in Pathfinder.
Now this does fall into the near-impossible to price feature of depending on the wearer's stats. A fighter with mediocre Charisma who hasn't kept Intimidate at max ranks is not as likely to succeed at demoralize as one who has, and so on. Plus, higher-level characters have a greater number of attacks. Though often, the HD of enemies increases faster than their CR. So the utility may go down as you level, even as the number of targets you can affect goes up.
Pricing was very ad-hoc; I figured that 3/day cause fear is 1,200 gp (at CL 1st), and this has a shorter action and a wider number of targets, so 5,000, the top of this practice round's range, seemed fairly reasonable; four times as much and a bit more. Another way to put it is that it's similar to the Dazzling Display feat; a much shorter action, but fewer potential targets as well, and the ad-hoc price for a feat is 5,000 gp. (Adding the feat requirement to crafting would just make it extremely unlikely to find a single person who could craft the item alone.)
Here's a new practice item, just a single feature of one of those for-a-character items I mentioned.
Helm of the Dread Warrior [112 words]
Aura faint necromancy; CL 5th
Slot head; Price 5,000 gp; Weight 4 lb.
Description
This heavy metal helm is generally sculpted into a frightening shape; especially common are dragon heads and faceless masks.Three times per day the helmet allows the wearer to use Intimidate to demoralize opponents as a swift action, rather than a standard action. This affects any creatures which the wearer has damaged with a melee attack during his turn. The wearer makes a single Intimidate check and compares it against the DC for each creature he is trying to affect.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, cause fear, Intimidate 5 ranks; Cost 2,500 gpOk, to avoid wall of text...
** spoiler omitted **...
I see two issues. One, a scary helm that makes a scary fighter scarier isn't very original. Two, you can look at it as either an item that both messes with action economy and simply gives a +5 skill bonus, or an item that gives you the Cornugon Smash feat thrice per day. Neither outlook is very flattering.
I'm not sure where the +5 bonus you mentioned comes from (I didn't put one in), but it's definitely a 3/day Cornugon Smash. I had forgotten that existed, and never read more than the summary. Way more appropriate to a 3.5 game where (to my knowledge) there is no way other than the standard action to demoralize. Definitely time to stop looking at items concepted for a 3.5 game. Though I still think the greater power has some potential interest, even though it's likely an obvious choice for anyone with Intimidate.
Edit: minor phrasing change.
I'm redoing my list of ideas. Tossing pretty much everything I already have under headings like "A character wants this". (And I'm going to be very careful now when adapting things characters from non-PF games want.) I think it will be easier to find interesting items under different categories:
- Rules areas where items are sparse (this is especially the newest rules)
- Enhancing / providing new uses for existing class abilities (but need to be careful to avoid creating items that should be rage powers / magus arcanas / etc.)
- Interesting or iconic uses of a particular type of magic item (item slot, or object type) which are not currently filled in the rules
I'm not sure where the +5 bonus you mentioned comes from (I didn't put one in), but it's definitely a 3/day Cornugon Smash. I had forgotten that existed, and never read more than the summary. Way more appropriate to a 3.5 game where (to my knowledge) there is no way other than the standard action to demoralize. Definitely time to stop looking at items concepted for a 3.5 game. Though I still think the greater power has some potential interest, even though it's likely an obvious choice for anyone with Intimidate.
Edit: minor phrasing change.
Sorry, I have no idea where I got that +5 stuff. I was half asleep, so maybe I dreamed it when I posted.
Feedback on items. Please take what's useful and ignore what isn't.
Maybe offering a vivid connection between the helm and the item effects would help?
Mojo--the item didn't really make me sit up in my seat as I read the description. It doesn't come with an amazing visual, and I can't really get excited about the tenuous connections between fans, dancing, and arctic winds.