Overheard at the Paizo office


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Liberty's Edge Production Specialist

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Crystal and Sonia: *uncontrollable laughter*

Cosmo: The rest of the art team has gone bye-bye.

Andrew: The rest of the art team was never here.

Dark Archive RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32

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Robot Chris: GAH WHAT DID THEY DO I FEEL LIKE THE TYPE IS TRYING TO CHOKE MY EYEBALLS

Digital Products Assistant

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Jessica I went to the grocery store while I was really hungry which I know you shouldn't do and there was chocolate chip ring cake there and now I need help eating it.

Lantern Lodge Customer Service Manager

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gary: i don't use tech team as human shields

gary: that's a dirty rumor promulgated by dirty rumormongers

Lantern Lodge Customer Service Manager

robot chris: goblin seoni monk is so frikkin rad

robot chris: with lasers.

Lantern Lodge Customer Service Manager

1 person marked this as a favorite.

robot chris: Costco Sized Can o' Worms

robot chris: (although, it's likely to be a better deal if we go with the Barrel o' Worms)

Lantern Lodge Customer Service Manager

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money chris: Is Cosmo going to get a thermometer up the [redacted]?


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Justin Riddler wrote:
Robot Chris: GAH WHAT DID THEY DO I FEEL LIKE THE TYPE IS TRYING TO CHOKE MY EYEBALLS

Comic Sans should die in a fire.

Hey, guys, I just thought of a B&$##IN' April Fools joke to play on the website...

Sovereign Court

What? You mean like this?

OK, so it's meant as an override placed on individual machines, but still ...

Dark Archive RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32

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Erik Keith: its like not letting your cat out when you know there are coyotes nearby

Justin: what?!

Erik Keith: no, that's completely in context


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My parents have lost three cats to coyotes over the years, so yes, definitely in context.

In which case, what is it doing on this thread? I thought only outrageously out-of-context statements got posted! Well, they're usually funnier, anyway.


Sara Marie wrote:
money chris: Is Cosmo going to get a thermometer up the [redacted]?

Ow.


Readerbreeder wrote:

My parents have lost three cats to coyotes over the years, so yes, definitely in context.

In which case, what is it doing on this thread? I thought only outrageously out-of-context statements got posted! Well, they're usually funnier, anyway.

It is out of context, for us.

We don't know WHAT'S like letting cats out when coyotes are around.

Paizo Employee Developer

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Mark: Where's that A-Wing mini I preordered a while back?
CS Erik: We're waiting to get them in from distribution. Checking what happened to the previous batch really quick here. Ah, there it is ... previous A-Wings crashed into the bridge of a Star Destroyer.
Mark: ...


Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Lost Omens Subscriber
Mark Moreland wrote:

Mark: Where's that A-Wing mini I preordered a while back?

CS Erik: We're waiting to get them in from distribution. Checking what happened to the previous batch really quick here. Ah, there it is ... previous A-Wings crashed into the bridge of a Star Destroyer.
Mark: ...

This is awesomeness.


Azaelas Fayth wrote:

AG2 (My Company; Long Story Don't Ask) has a Homemade ~6 Pound Sledgehammer made from Concrete and an Iron Cage to reinforce it. We carved BAN in Runes into it.

Lets just say I am the only one who knows how to wield it. The other 3 people with me refuse to mess with me.

We demand (request) a photo! (please)

Digital Products Assistant

Gary anybody with non-time-vampire-related suggestions?


pocsaclypse wrote:
Azaelas Fayth wrote:

AG2 (My Company; Long Story Don't Ask) has a Homemade ~6 Pound Sledgehammer made from Concrete and an Iron Cage to reinforce it. We carved BAN in Runes into it.

Lets just say I am the only one who knows how to wield it. The other 3 people with me refuse to mess with me.

We demand (request) a photo! (please)

We actually used it, and a second one that was Identical, to set up a Horseshoe Set.

Webstore Gninja Minion

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Gary: THE HORSE KING COMPELS YOU!
Erik: Uhhh
Gary: do not try to deny the horse king!!


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Crystal Frasier wrote:

Crystal and Sonia: *uncontrollable laughter*

Cosmo: The rest of the art team has gone bye-bye.

Andrew: The rest of the art team was never here.

"Not really there" is a MUST for graphic designers/artists, specially if they are into RPGs :D

Dark Archive RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32

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Robot Chris: quick like the majestic roomba


AFFIRMATIVE.

Digital Products Assistant

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Sara Marie ♪♫I feel pickled, oh so pickled,
I feel pickled and salted and brined!
And I pity any goblin who isn't me today!
I feel alarming, oh so alarming,
It's charming how alarming I feel!
And so pickled, that I can hardly believe I'm real!
See the pickled goblin in the mirror there?
Who can that hideous goblin be?
Such a pickled face,
Such a pickled head,
Such a pickled smile,
SUCH A PICKLED MEEEEEEEEEE!♪♫

Lantern Lodge Customer Service Manager

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Gary: WE WILL CRUSH THEM ALL

Gary: CRUSH THEM LIKE GRAPES. OR BUGS. OR POSSIBLY GRAPE-SIZED BUGS

robot chris: LIKE A SANDWICH IN A LUNCHBAG, THEY WILL BE SMOOSHED

Dark Archive RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32

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CS Erik: Find better words! Then fire the cannon!


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Take a nap...then fire the Missiles!

Digital Products Assistant

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Liz tchotchkes
CS Erik gezundheit


Justin Riddler wrote:
Robot Chris: quick like the majestic roomba

My battle chariot awaits!

Paizo Employee Sales Imp

Gary: not for a person with a surfeit of ferrets

Lantern Lodge Customer Service Manager

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cs erik: You just dealt an absolute Cosmo

Lantern Lodge Customer Service Manager

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justin: Have I said how much I love this job yet?

justin: cause i think I need to say it more and more

liz: I'm going to remind you that you said that around GenCon time.

Lantern Lodge Customer Service Manager

1 person marked this as a favorite.

money chris: checking snark meter.

money chris: Yup, full up.

Lantern Lodge Customer Service Manager

robot chris: in case these condiment gnomes try to come and take my condiments

Lantern Lodge Customer Service Manager

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cosmo: "A well regulated Sandwich, being necessary to the security of a full Stomach, the right of the people to keep and bear Condiments, shall not be infringed."

liz: "The right to bear condiments will be revoked should said condiments be grossly misused in the call of Sammich Duty."

robot chris: "Such infringements include: improper stacking of meats and cheeses, omission of desired condiment(s), inclusion of excessive mayo, and/or using the bread butt."

Lantern Lodge Customer Service Manager

3 people marked this as a favorite.

cosmo: YOU CAN HAVE MY HORSERADISH MUSTARD WHEN YOU PULL IT FROM MY COLD, DEAD CUTS!

Scarab Sages

Sara Marie wrote:
robot chris: LIKE A SANDWICH IN A LUNCHBAG, THEY WILL BE SMOOSHED

And, I have a new catchphrase. 8^)


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Sara Marie wrote:
cs erik: You just dealt an absolute Cosmo

Never go full Cosmo!

Lantern Lodge Customer Service Manager

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robot chris: I have coffee, it will all be OK

Lantern Lodge Customer Service Manager

gary: too late, now in full wolf mode

Digital Products Assistant

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Jessica So, I'm thinking a giant one would probably be like CR 9 billion.

Sean About on par with a tarrasque swarm, yes.


Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Lost Omens Subscriber
Sara Marie wrote:
cosmo: "A well regulated Sandwich, being necessary to the security of a full Stomach, the right of the people to keep and bear Condiments, shall not be infringed."

So you're basically Amending what Constitutes a sandwich?


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Orthos wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:
cs erik: You just dealt an absolute Cosmo
Never go full Cosmo!

Giggity?

Chris Lambertz wrote:

Jessica So, I'm thinking a giant one would probably be like CR 9 billion.

Sean About on par with a tarrasque swarm, yes.

Both of those images frighten me more than facing down the Old God from Doctor Who which also looks like Groetus... Almost as much as seeing Richard do one of his Songs.

Lantern Lodge Customer Service Manager

9 people marked this as a favorite.

cs erik: Remember, it doesn't count as an official piece of Paizo furniture until its killed at least one intern.

Lantern Lodge Customer Service Manager

liz: Big fire is not Best Fire.

Dark Archive Customer Service Representative

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Ross: Why is there an iPod touch taped to the side of the server rack?


Sara Marie wrote:
liz: Big fire is not Best Fire.

Biggest fire is Best Fire


Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Lost Omens Subscriber
Sara Marie wrote:
cs erik: Remember, it doesn't count as an official piece of Paizo furniture until its killed at least one intern.

Mass murdering furniture is best furniture.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
thunderspirit wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:
cs erik: Remember, it doesn't count as an official piece of Paizo furniture until its killed at least one intern.
Mass murdering furniture is best furniture.

It is only a mass murdering piece of furniture if it kills at least two interns in the same incident.

Otherwise, it is Hannibal Lecter serial killer furniture.

Ok ... now, why am I imagining that the Paizo offices are secretly furnished with SKR's mimics ...

"Hello Sara Marie. Quid pro quo, remember?"


2 people marked this as a favorite.

And I now have my next adventure...

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
Turin the Mad wrote:
thunderspirit wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:
cs erik: Remember, it doesn't count as an official piece of Paizo furniture until its killed at least one intern.
Mass murdering furniture is best furniture.

It is only a mass murdering piece of furniture if it kills at least two interns in the same incident.

Otherwise, it is Hannibal Lecter serial killer furniture.

Ok ... now, why am I imagining that the Paizo offices are secretly furnished with SKR's mimics ...

"Hello Sara Marie. Quid pro quo, remember?"

Actually to be a serial killer it has to have killed three or more, over a period of over a month, with cool downs between the kills. A spree killer kills multiple people in multiple locations very rapidly. Mass murderers kill at least 4 people in one location.

<--- Aspiring profiler with a dream of working for the FBI some day.

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