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This is Sebastian's Publicist reporting on the scene of Natalie Portman's new live film adaptation of the 80's cult classsic "Unico". Rumor's abound of her involvement with Co-Star Sebastian, the friendly, multi-colored Unicorn playing the role of Unico.
At 8 this morning, this reporter witnessed Natalie Portman leaving Sebastian's trailer, walking distinctly bow-legged and covered head to toe in what a bystander described as "a hideos mix of mushed skittles and what must have been buckets of glitter from the local chippendales".
Sebastian hasn't been available for comment, but this reporter overheard Natalie Portman as she limped away from his trailer singing the following song....
"Apocalypse pony, it's my @#$%ing pony, don't you dare touch it, I'll @#$%ing kill you...."
Previous reports had cast Sebastian in the role of a "persistent unwanted admirer", but this reporter postulates that maybe, just maybe, it was Natalie Portman with a case of Unicorn Fever.
As always, Sebastian's PR camp had only the following to say;
"Haters gonna hate"
I hear she just as an unhealthy skittles obsession.
Previous reports had cast Sebastian in the role of a "persistent unwanted admirer", but this reporter postulates that maybe, just maybe, it was Natalie Portman with a case of Unicorn Fever.
I did hear that it was Portman who had the fatal attraction thing going on.
All hail, Sebastian!
I'd still hit sloppy seconds.
*sniff* My baby step-brother is all growed up. *sniff*
I managed to catch a 2+ minute leak from the upcoming film, Unico. Several leading men luminaries from the Star Trek franchise were impressed with Sebastian's versatile acting range.
"By Cromwell's beard! He's more British than I am. And I'm British!"
-Sir Patrick Stewart
"Who is. His hair dresser? I must have. That toupee!"
-William Shatner.
Director of Sales
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TMZ reports that Portman's representative released this statement about the recent incidents and those reporting it.
TMZ reports that Portman's representative released this statement about the recent incidents and those reporting it.
I thought that's what the link was. :)
I didn't want to have to do this, but:
I can confirm Natalie fled to Sebastian's arms...from mine. Hooking up with Sebastian is just an ugly, obvious attempt to incite jealousy.
That woman is wrong in the head.
I didn't want to have to do this, but:
I can confirm Natalie fled to Sebastian's arms...from mine. Hooking up with Sebastian is just an ugly, obvious attempt to incite jealousy.
That woman is wrong in the head.
So, your saying she was you're woman?
So, your saying she was you're woman?
Huh? I'm afraid you lost me on that one.
Edit: I get it now. Let's refrain from cross-thread pettiness, ok? Especially since said thread is locked.
Can't. breathe. Feeling...faint.
I regret my decision to mock the, um, political discourse on an already locked thread.
I regret my decision to mock the, um, political discourse on an already locked thread.
In the course of well over 3,000 posts here, I've made that mistake once. Mocking me as ignorant on one thread, while obviously inaccurate, was tolerable. Following me around to other threads borders on stalking.
To say nothing of the fact that you've pretty much killed a somewhat amusing silly little thread.
So I guess your name is appropriate. Congrats!
I regret my decision to mock the, um, political discourse on an already locked thread.In the course of well over 3,000 posts here, I've made that mistake once. Mocking me as ignorant on one thread, while obviously inaccurate, was tolerable. Following me around to other threads borders on stalking.
To say nothing of the fact that you've pretty much killed a somewhat amusing silly little thread.
So I guess your name is appropriate. Congrats!
My work here is done.
I really wish there was a sad panda avatar...
Quadfecta. Everything's ... so black .... dizzy.
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You know who made the sad panda so sad?
Sebastian, that's who.
I can confirm this.
There was a genital measuring competition.
The Great Schlong Fiasco of 97', if I recall correctly.
The fiasco was so funny. Who'd have thought that you guys would only have metric measuring tapes and couldn't find a conversion guide to standard! The results are still ambiguous, because I don't think that you're supposed to divide centimeters by a million to get feet...
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The fiasco was so funny. Who'd have thought that you guys would only have metric measuring tapes and couldn't find a conversion guide to standard! The results are still ambiguous, because I don't think that you're supposed to divide centimeters by a million to get feet...You know who made the sad panda so sad?
Sebastian, that's who.
I can confirm this.
There was a genital measuring competition.
The Great Schlong Fiasco of 97', if I recall correctly.
*flings brightly colored balls of tin foil in random directions*
Shoo feathered fiend! The fiasco had little to do with the measuring and everything to do with you trying to "eat the worm"....
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The fiasco was so funny. Who'd have thought that you guys would only have metric measuring tapes and couldn't find a conversion guide to standard! The results are still ambiguous, because I don't think that you're supposed to divide centimeters by a million to get feet...You know who made the sad panda so sad?
Sebastian, that's who.
I can confirm this.
There was a genital measuring competition.
The Great Schlong Fiasco of 97', if I recall correctly.
*flings brightly colored balls of tin foil in random directions*
Shoo feathered fiend! The fiasco had little to do with the measuring and everything to do with you trying to "eat the worm"....
You're just mad I finished the tequila and only shared with the pony. >:P
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You're just mad I finished the tequila and only shared with the pony. >:PThe fiasco was so funny. Who'd have thought that you guys would only have metric measuring tapes and couldn't find a conversion guide to standard! The results are still ambiguous, because I don't think that you're supposed to divide centimeters by a million to get feet...You know who made the sad panda so sad?
Sebastian, that's who.
I can confirm this.
There was a genital measuring competition.
The Great Schlong Fiasco of 97', if I recall correctly.
*flings brightly colored balls of tin foil in random directions*
Shoo feathered fiend! The fiasco had little to do with the measuring and everything to do with you trying to "eat the worm"....
Silly bird, he told you that was tequila? AND the worm is supposed to be at the bottom of the bottle!
Sebastian, he is a tricky one.
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You're just mad I finished the tequila and only shared with the pony. >:PThe fiasco was so funny. Who'd have thought that you guys would only have metric measuring tapes and couldn't find a conversion guide to standard! The results are still ambiguous, because I don't think that you're supposed to divide centimeters by a million to get feet...You know who made the sad panda so sad?
Sebastian, that's who.
I can confirm this.
There was a genital measuring competition.
The Great Schlong Fiasco of 97', if I recall correctly.
*flings brightly colored balls of tin foil in random directions*
Shoo feathered fiend! The fiasco had little to do with the measuring and everything to do with you trying to "eat the worm"....
Silly bird, he told you that was tequila? AND the worm is supposed to be at the bottom of the bottle!
Sebastian, he is a tricky one.
I brought that tequila. I'm not sure what fluid he shared with you, but I hear publicism is a hard business to get into.
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You're just mad I finished the tequila and only shared with the pony. >:PThe fiasco was so funny. Who'd have thought that you guys would only have metric measuring tapes and couldn't find a conversion guide to standard! The results are still ambiguous, because I don't think that you're supposed to divide centimeters by a million to get feet...You know who made the sad panda so sad?
Sebastian, that's who.
I can confirm this.
There was a genital measuring competition.
The Great Schlong Fiasco of 97', if I recall correctly.
*flings brightly colored balls of tin foil in random directions*
Shoo feathered fiend! The fiasco had little to do with the measuring and everything to do with you trying to "eat the worm"....
Silly bird, he told you that was tequila? AND the worm is supposed to be at the bottom of the bottle!
Sebastian, he is a tricky one.
I brought that tequila. I'm not sure what fluid he shared with you, but I hear publicism is a hard business to get into. [/QUOTE
*shudder*
...taste the rainbow....
These skittles have m's on them!*shudder*
...taste the rainbow....
No, those are clearly w's.
Oh, darn it. I've done it again.
I have no comment on this topic, and defer all questions to my publicist, who wisely chose all caps for this important news story.
What happened to the all caps headline?
I have no comment on this topic, and defer all questions to my publicist, who wisely chose all caps for this important news story.What happened to the all caps headline?
I ruined that too.
I have no comment on this topic, and defer all questions to my publicist, who wisely chose all caps for this important news story.What happened to the all caps headline?
We have ANTI-CAPS Sonderkommandos.
We have ANTI-CAPS Sonderkommandos.I have no comment on this topic, and defer all questions to my publicist, who wisely chose all caps for this important news story.What happened to the all caps headline?
Ross and Gary are sneaky!!! ::shakefist::