Deep 6 FaWtL

[gran rey de los nekkid]

lisamarlene wrote:

Vanykrye wrote:

LM sent me that a couple days ago. Her answer (since she's travelling) was:

Bilbo: You DO give a F about Frodo, don't you?
Gandalf: Two Fs, as often as I can spare them.

I came up with two spots that I liked.

Celeborn, standing with Galadriel, with that halting/stilted delivery the actor used: And where...the F...is Gandalf?

Samwise, after being pulled into the house by Gandalf's staff:
Gandalf: What did you hear?!? Speak!
Sam (paraphrased): I didn't hear nothin'! Nothing more than stuff about a dark lord, the end of the world, and F all!

We've stopped at a truck stop in New Mexico for dinner.

Here's another:

Treebeard: We have just agreed... [falls asleep]
Merry Brandybuck: Yes?
Treebeard: [wakes up] I have told your names to the Entmoot and we have agreed... you are not f~@!ed.

How about this: Gollum has bitten off Frodo's finger and reclaimed the ring. He falls into the lava and burns to death. The ring melts away. We cut to Sauron's tower with the big eye on top of it. As the tower collapses, you hear an almighty "F************************K!!!!!!"

All while nekkid, of course.

Ah, apparently that snuck through the filters, so I'll self censor it.

[Jimmy Buffett]

Woran wrote:

Hedgehog is back in the garden <3

I leave out mealworms in a small bowl

I leave out water in a small dish
I hope that no one sees my
Hedgehog in the garden

[gran rey de los mono]

More possible LotR F-bombs:

Gandalf: "You cannot pass! I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the Flame of Anor. The dark fire will not avail you, F&#* of Udun! Go back to the shadow. You shall not pass!"

....

Aragorn: "Gentlemen, we do not stop 'til nightfall."
Pippin: "What about breakfast?"
Aragorn: "You've already had it."
Pippin: "We've had one, yes. What about second breakfast?"
[Aragorn turns and walks away]
Merry: "I don't think he knows about second breakfast, Pip."
Pippin: "What about elevenses? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper? He knows about them, doesn't he?"
Merry: "I wouldn't f+%+ing count on it."

....

[first lines of the movie]
Galadriel: "The world is f%+~ed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air."

[Tequila Sunrise]

For a new twist on a favorite character,

"Fool, no man can kill me. Now die..."

"I am no f~&#ing man!"

*stabs Witch King in the face*

[Dire Quote Mangler]

Elrond voiceover: "I led Isildur deep into the fires of Mount Doom, where the Ring was forged, the one place it could be destroyed."

Elrond: "Cast it into the fire! Destroy it!"

Isildur: "No." {smiles evilly, walks away}

Elrond: "ISILDUR!!!" {sighs wearily} "F*ck."

[gran rey de los mono]

My wife gets upset when I mess with her red wine. So I put fruit and lemonade in it, and now she is sangria than ever.

[gran rey de los mono]

You could also go with:

Gandalf: "Fly, you f&#+ers!"

[Woran]

Jimmy Buffett wrote:

Woran wrote:

Hedgehog is back in the garden <3

I leave out mealworms in a small bowl

I leave out water in a small dish
I hope that no one sees my
Hedgehog in the garden

Yep, the mealworms I put down were noisily eaten, then there was the cutest *lap lap lap* sound when it drank from the waterbowl I had set down.

The waterbowls is not just for the hedgehog. When temperatures get this high, I leave several small bowls troughout the garden for animals.

Its 90F again today :(

[captain yesterday]

It's 90 here today! We can be sweating buddies!!

[Woran]

captain yesterday wrote:

It's 90 here today! We can be sweating buddies!!

That is the whole problem. I barely sweat. Inherited that from my father. So I barely cool down. I have to spray bottle myself, or otherwise just radiate heat.

[Freehold DM]

Woran wrote:

captain yesterday wrote:

It's 90 here today! We can be sweating buddies!!

That is the whole problem. I barely sweat. Inherited that from my father. So I barely cool down. I have to spray bottle myself, or otherwise just radiate heat.

I have full buckets of water, ready to throw upon you at a moments notice.

[captain yesterday]

I sweat, quite a bit, not a great trait for a sous chef, but completely irrelevant to working with stone.

[NobodysHome]

This is most likely political, but it's always amazing to see the "unadulterated" tax rates in this country.

For the 2018 tax year, including the massive tax increase Californians suffered, my net tax rates were 17.95% of my gross income (and that's an increase of almost 5% over the prior year). <Expletives about the current administration deleted>

I just cashed out some stock options, and they withheld at the "full rate" (what I'd pay without deductions, exemptions, or the like): 41.94%. Ouch!

I know people have mixed feelings about Adam Ruins Everything, but the whole, "Keep tax law convoluted to prop up a multibillion dollar tax preparation industry" is definitely a sore spot with me.

And seeing the random withholdings through the year is just out-and-out irritating.

[NobodysHome]

I sweat buckets. When I go backpacking I have to wear a special shirt that speeds evaporation.

Fortunately, where I live I rarely have to.

And geez, Europe! Keep cool! 113˚F is nothing to sneeze at! When it got up that high in Davis it was just a, "Yeah, we're not leaving the air-conditioned house except maybe to go to the air-conditioned theater" day.

[Freehold DM]

I sweat a lot.

[NobodysHome]

Oh, quick question for the European FaWtLers: Is tipping officially dead in Europe?

That's the travel advice we 'Merikuns are given, so I don't plan on tipping anyone, but are there still areas where you're expected to tip?

(Personally, I'd love to see tipping abolished worldwide, so Europe's lead makes me happy, but I figure I'd better double-check with people who actually, y'know, live there instead of relying on advice from the interwebs.)

[NobodysHome]

Aaaaand... there we go!

Impus Major was taking massively wide right turns, starting off in the far left of his lane and then turning far enough to be going into incoming traffic. I told him to cut them closer and he started doing very well.

Then we took a 10-minute break to practice parallel parking.

Once we started up again, on his second right turn he went in WAAAAY too far, hit the curb, floored it by accident, and my hope is that all it's costing me is a new tire.

But ugh. They're high-end tires and I think they're barely over a year old.

The price of teaching your own kid to drive...

EDIT: On the bright side, now he knows how to change a tire...

[captain yesterday]

That's why I'm having a professional teach Crookshanks how to drive!

Wait a minute, that's me!

D'oh!

[Woran]

NobodysHome wrote:

Oh, quick question for the European FaWtLers: Is tipping officially dead in Europe?

That's the travel advice we 'Merikuns are given, so I don't plan on tipping anyone, but are there still areas where you're expected to tip?

(Personally, I'd love to see tipping abolished worldwide, so Europe's lead makes me happy, but I figure I'd better double-check with people who actually, y'know, live there instead of relying on advice from the interwebs.)

Yeah tipping doesnt exist in the netherlands. If you're exeptionaly happy with service, you can round out your bill to the nearest nice round number, but that is usually nothing but a few euros.

[Woran]

I honestly wish I could sweat a lot. Overheating is a constant danger for me when temperatures get this high.

And no, I dont mean I feel bad. I mean puking/dizziness.

[Tacticslion]

Woran wrote:

I honestly wish I could sweat a lot. Overheating is a constant danger for me when temperatures get this high.

And no, I dont mean I feel bad. I mean puking/dizziness.

As a Floridian, I'm well aware of the dangers of overheating. I hope you take care of yourself!

[Drejk]

NobodysHome wrote:

Oh, quick question for the European FaWtLers: Is tipping officially dead in Europe?

That's the travel advice we 'Merikuns are given, so I don't plan on tipping anyone, but are there still areas where you're expected to tip?

(Personally, I'd love to see tipping abolished worldwide, so Europe's lead makes me happy, but I figure I'd better double-check with people who actually, y'know, live there instead of relying on advice from the interwebs.)

Here, tipping is generally considered a nice gesture, but the employers are legal obliged to pay at least a minimum wage regardless of tips. Some venues seem to add tips automatically to the bill. Others don't. I think that more expensive venues include greater expectation of leaving tips, though I don't frequent expensive places, so I can't really be sure.

[LordSynos]

NobodysHome wrote:

Oh, quick question for the European FaWtLers: Is tipping officially dead in Europe?

That's the travel advice we 'Merikuns are given, so I don't plan on tipping anyone, but are there still areas where you're expected to tip?

(Personally, I'd love to see tipping abolished worldwide, so Europe's lead makes me happy, but I figure I'd better double-check with people who actually, y'know, live there instead of relying on advice from the interwebs.)

Ireland's culture has very strong American influences, so tipping is a thing that's appreciated, but not mandatory, unless you have a party of 6+. Then they usually add it to your bill. 10-15% is the norm, I never go above 10%, but I've heard some say 15% is now considered polite. But servers are protected under the same minimum wage laws as everyone else, so it's not a "supplement their income to a livable wage" thing, it's a "show a nice gesture of appreciation" thing.

[Woran]

Tacticslion wrote:

Woran wrote:

I honestly wish I could sweat a lot. Overheating is a constant danger for me when temperatures get this high.

And no, I dont mean I feel bad. I mean puking/dizziness.

As a Floridian, I'm well aware of the dangers of overheating. I hope you take care of yourself!

I will, thank you. When the heat get this much I just listlesly hang around doing nothing.

[Ambrosia Slaad]

Woran wrote:

Jimmy Buffett wrote:

Woran wrote:

Hedgehog is back in the garden <3

I leave out mealworms in a small bowl

I leave out water in a small dish
I hope that no one sees my
Hedgehog in the garden

Yep, the mealworms I put down were noisily eaten, then there was the cutest *lap lap lap* sound when it drank from the waterbowl I had set down.

The waterbowls is not just for the hedgehog. When temperatures get this high, I leave several small bowls troughout the garden for animals.

Its 90F again today :(

I imagine your seekrit backyard menagerie all speak wondrous tales of your empathy and generosity. You may be nominated again as an Official Faerytale Princess for your efforts.

Tacticslion wrote:

Woran wrote:

I honestly wish I could sweat a lot. Overheating is a constant danger for me when temperatures get this high.

And no, I dont mean I feel bad. I mean puking/dizziness.

As a Floridian, I'm well aware of the dangers of overheating. I hope you take care of yourself!

Yeah, puking & dizziness are often signs of heatstroke. Please be very careful.

[NobodysHome]

Ouch. Old cars are like U.S. medical insurance.

One popped tire. Check. Neighboring tire has cracks in it. Check. Better replace all 4. Ouch. Plus an alignment. Oh, and Impus Major obliterated the pressure sensor for another $305.

So, this morning I sold $2000 in stock to help rebuild our savings from the Europe trip. (We pre-paid most of it.) This afternoon I have $700 left.

Thanks, Impus Major!

On the bright side, the right rear tire was in BAD shape; I’m glad they caught it.

[Woran]

Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

Tacticslion wrote:

Woran wrote:

I honestly wish I could sweat a lot. Overheating is a constant danger for me when temperatures get this high.

And no, I dont mean I feel bad. I mean puking/dizziness.

As a Floridian, I'm well aware of the dangers of overheating. I hope you take care of yourself!

Yeah, puking & dizziness are often signs of heatstroke. Please be very careful.

I have fans and icepacks and naps. Once I get back to work there will be aircon which keeps temps at a steady 25C.

[Limeylongears]

We done mixed weapon tournament (minimal kit, since it was flippin' hot)

We done archery contest.

We done more axe and knife throwing.

We done shooting.

We done drinking and singing.

It was a good do.

[gran rey de los mono]

You know what's odd? Numbers that aren't evenly divisible by 2.

[gran rey de los mono]

Did you hear that someone painted "Not Right" on every floor of the Empire State Building? That's wrong on so many levels.

[gran rey de los mono]

What did German pilots eat for breakfast in WWII? Luftwaffles.

[gran rey de los mono]

I have no idea how, but I just managed to beat the heart (the true final boss) of Slay the Spire.

[Drejk]

NobodysHome wrote:

So, this morning I sold $2000 in stock to help rebuild our savings from the Europe trip. (We pre-paid most of it.) This afternoon I have $700 left.

Thanks, Impus Major!

See what a loving son you have?

Just a few pages ago you expressed desire to own nothing, and Impus Major is already risking his life (and those of passersby) to get you closer to your desired goal!

[Woran]

MrT has started watching my life as a slime

[Tacticslion]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

I have no idea how, but I just managed to beat the heart (the true final boss) of Slay the Spire.

I melts trying to figure out the punchline for a bit.

[Tacticslion]

Woran wrote:

MrT has started watching my life as a slime

Oh, good! I quite liked what I saw of it. Still don’t know why the dude got stabbed, but... eh. Plot.

[NobodysHome]

Woran wrote:

MrT has started watching my life as a slime

We really liked that show, though we only got around 18 episodes in.

And for whoever recommended Lost Girl (facetiously or not), I'm really loving it, though I'm only 3-4 episodes in.

Shiro's seen it before and considers it so-so, but it's right in my wheelhouse of "protagonist follows a story arc of becoming ludicrously powerful but his/her psychological quirks still make for a good series."

For whatever reason I only found Legion to be "good" along these lines rather than "great", but it's a story arc I always enjoy...

[Drejk]

Waterhole Warden, an effigy used by nomad shamans to guard watering holes from other tribes...

[gran rey de los mono]

Tacticslion wrote:

gran rey de los mono wrote:

I have no idea how, but I just managed to beat the heart (the true final boss) of Slay the Spire.

I melts trying to figure out the punchline for a bit.

Why would there be a punchline? Do you think all I do is tell jokes? Is that what I am to you? Some kind of clown? I am not.

[gran rey de los mono]

What's brown and sticky? A stick!

[gran rey de los mono]

Dammit.

[Freehold DM]

So. Hungry.

[Woran]

Hedgehog is messing around in the garden. How do you know you have a hedgehog? Because it sounds like a chainsmoker is trying to run a marathon in your back yard. Hedgehogs are NOISY

[Morkus from Orcus]

{imagines tiny spiky John Belushi rummaging in undergrowth for little chocolate donuts}

[TriOmegaZero]

Woo curry!

[gran rey de los mono]

My power has been out for 4 1/2 hours, so I showered in the dark, hit a drive-thru, and am at work 2 hours early to use their wifi instead of just sitting on my couch in the dark. Fun.

[gran rey de los mono]

A bear walks into a bar. He goes to the bartender and says "Can I get a ........................................................................... ...................... beer?" Bartender says "Sure, but why the big pause?" The bear says "I don't know, man. Just born with 'em."

[gran rey de los mono]

In school I was always really good at spelling bees. I did have trouble with many other words, though.

[gran rey de los mono]

Don't get me wrong, Pride Month was great, but I was really hoping for more lions.

[gran rey de los mono]

Why did the powerwalking club have trouble electing a president? Because nobody runs.