Commoner

Jimmy Buffett's page

61 posts. Alias of gran rey de los mono.


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Freehold DM wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
Today is my day to shine.
blinded by the light

♫ Dressed pup bike a spruce, adjuster funner in the bight. ♫


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Sharoth wrote:
gran rey de los mono wrote:
Sharoth wrote:
gran rey de los mono wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:

...

Email #1: "I always play a half-elf and I never heal."
...
Picture this: The party has finished a fight. Several members are injured, including her. The cleric (assuming you have one) decides to channel positive energy to heal everyone. They roll a 5. You say "Okay, everyone heals 5 HP, except for No Girl. Nothing happens for you." "What?!? Why don't I get the 5 HP?" "Because you never heal. You were very specific about that in your email. You even italicized it. So, you don't heal. Ever."

~laughter~ Oh, that is wickedly awesome!

Edit - Or make it that magical healing doesn't work on her due to a curse laid upon her.

Isn't that mummy rot?
That would be a rotten thing to do to get wrapped up like that.

♫ Another mummy in the night ♫


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♫ When I stalk in the spot, this is what I see ♫
♫ Gelflings stop and they be staring at me ♫
♫ I got essence in my hands and I ain't afraid to show it ♫
♫ Show it, show it, show it ♫
♫ I'm Skeksis and I know it ♫
♫ I'm Skeksis and I know it ♫

♫ Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle....... ♫


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♫ Bit's closed to Sid's fight ♫
♫ Nothing weevil's searching in the park ♫
♫ Blunder the soon bite ♫
♫ You be a kite that almost pops your tart ♫
♫ Lou fly to Rheem ♫
♫ Nut bearers make the pound before you bake it ♫
♫ True heart to breeze ♫
♫ As Borat books you light between the thighs ♫
♫ Boar Kara lies ♫

♫ Coz this is Miller ♫
♫ Pilsner Light ♫
♫ Obi-Wan's gonna brave through ♫
♫ From the geese about to bike ♫
♫ Pru blows it's shriller ♫
♫ Filler tight ♫
♫ You're writing for your knife ♫
♫ Beside a hiller chiller alright ♫


♫ I would walk 500 miles ♫
♫ And I would walk 500 more ♫
♫ Just to be the something something ♫
♫ Why did I ever buy a Ford ♫


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♫ My lever rent to caws you many borrow ♫
♫ Pie sever sent to pause ewe tinny vein ♫
♫ Sigh lonely bunted to bee true lapping ♫
♫ By phony punted to tea cue ♫
♫ Sapping in the vorpal pain ♫
♫ Vorpal main, vorpal sane ♫
♫ Snorkel train, mortal bane ♫
♫ Quarrel gain, moral wain ♫
♫ Lie pwnly hunted to tree pew ♫
♫ Bin the dorsal crane ♫

Oops...ya'll caught me singin' in the shower.


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♫ Fess, I am a pie rate ♫
♫ Zoo thundered fears to rate ♫
♫ Bananas don't wonder ♫
♫ Bears know things to chunder ♫
♫ Rhyme a clover qwerty Vic rim of plate ♫
♫ A ride thing boo fate, a glide bring woo sate ♫


♫ Woah, babe, Han ewe sea ♫
♫ Why the Don's surly right? ♫
♫ Butt sew loudly she failed ♫
♫ Hat the flashlight's fast dreaming. ♫


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Woran wrote:
Hedgehog is back in the garden <3

I leave out mealworms in a small bowl

I leave out water in a small dish
I hope that no one sees my
Hedgehog in the garden


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captain yesterday wrote:

A high today of 93 with humidity already at 93% percent.

Hopefully the weather doesn't attract Florida Man (who will of course try to rape a chicken, fail spectacularly and settle for f~~$ing the brand new fence on the property we're working on).

Of course, he could just walk off with one of our erosion socks and dry hump it in the middle of Candy Cane Park a few blocks away.

Florida Man, Florida Man

F%&!s the lid of a garbage can
Why's he do it, it's not important
Florida Man
He's gonna watch you get a tan
Perverted man, Florida Man.


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Vidmaster7 wrote:
gran rey de los mono wrote:

Me: "I need to call the doctor today."

My Wife: "Which doctor?"
Me: "No, the regular kind."
OO ee OO aa Ting tang walla walla bing bang.

♫ Ewe've bin sleeping glove drum free ♫

♫ Must bike true burr a visor ♫
♫ Gland pie'll rad mit Cy cousin berry chart ♫

♫ Sew Vi lent gout and round rye shelf ♫
♫ A buy chats mow such riser ♫
♫ And we fought tree the fay too chin sure fart ♫


♫ Feet it, Meat it ♫
♫ Show some hunts and leave in pieces ♫
♫ Knowin' hot monkey and wrong is now right ♫
♫ Zit's cousin's batter strong or uptight ♫


♫ Masked branch with Berry Fain ♫
♫ Fun boar lime to fill the lane ♫
♫ I peel plumbers sleepin' fin and I'm sired of Miss Gown again ♫


Vidmaster7 wrote:
That's so petty i'm gonna have to start calling you Tom.

♫ I don't know, but I've been told ♫

♫ You never go brown, you never eat mold ♫
♫ Mired in brewing cup, wired in this frown ♫
♫ Fake me as a chum 'cause I rant days long ♫


♫ This song is just three lines long ♫
♫ This song is just three lines long ♫
♫ This song is just three lines long ♫


IIIIII-IIIIII-iiiii'm booked on the ceiling! ♫
♫ My pie is for stealing ♫
♫ Chat shore is shoving fee ♫


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♫ I burped an Elf in May ♫
♫ To be inside a still ♫
♫ My locus is in Spain ♫
♫ The lonely ring is real ♫

♫ Will Friedle wears a mole ♫
♫ The cold’s a will’ya thing ♫
♫ Why’d ya bill it on a tray ♫
♫ But thighs dismember any bling ♫

♫ Spud’s have my welcome ♫
♫ Why treat a wren ♫
♫ Every bun is low ♫
♫ Tows a fey to the mend ♫

♫ And Drew can have a ball ♫
♫ Higher than a turd ♫
♫ My will is a clown ♫
♫ Thy frill take it Burt ♫


♫ Why, why does the wonderful blows beware ♫
♫ Band the play the nun flight rays upon her chair ♫
♫ My beer the found of a gentile bird ♫
♫ On the limb that rifts their bedroom to the bear ♫

♫ I'm sticking pup wood libations ♫
♫ She's living tree indications ♫
♫ Hy's flicking cup hood foundations ♫
♫ Fees sieving bee applications ♫
♫ Guy's licking up should vacations ♫
♫ Reliving sea calculations ♫
♫ Pie's clicking sup stood relations ♫
♫ Knees kicking free regulations ♫


♫ Twerkin' like a frog for the Rossman ♫
♫ Jerkin' for the one I see ♫
♫ Lime frettin' on the twice rime flossin' ♫
♫ I'm wanna half a fancy free ♫
♫ Jut hair am sigh gonna book ♫
♫ They sell tree at half past nine ♫
♫ Why feel me feed a world trike a loosened rook ♫
♫ To seed aligned the times ♫

♫ Glove in a relocator ♫
♫ Givin' it nut then pie is smilin' frown ♫
♫ Dove in an alligator ♫
♫ Dispose of it now 'fore I get to clown ♫


1 person marked this as a favorite.

♫ Jello. 'Tis it meat I'm longing for? ♫
♫ 'Twas a blunder swearing car ♫
♫ Sandy's somewhere at the zoo ♫
♫ Bards're nowhere peeling ponies, lore is fun-fun coming true ♫
♫ Fell trees now to swim in farts ♫
♫ Gore to madden bought in glue ♫
♫ What let bees heart buy braying ♫
♫ Highway Stu. ♫


1 person marked this as a favorite.

♫ Time is up, rackin' the sheet ♫
♫ Hid my lime, rooks are dancin' ♫
♫ Vent the misses, how'd I land on my beets ♫
♫ Trust a ham with a van to arrive ♫

♫ Show any vine, bit into a mast ♫
♫ You grade four mansions as boring ♫
♫ Won't chose to flip over jeans in the vast ♫
♫ Flew just might trust a beep in the night ♫

♫ It's the why of the liger, it's the bill of the sight ♫
♫ Tyin' up to the balance of a trifle ♫
♫ And the rats gnaw MacGyver hawks are spoiling to fight ♫
♫ Andy's notching his belt really high for the Kaiser ♫


2 people marked this as a favorite.

♫ Her chair is hollow cold ♫
♫ For chips I cannot lie ♫
♫ Merman's car lever told ♫
♫ We've got Marty Feldman eyes ♫

♫ He'll burn the fuses for you ♫
♫ Drew won't half to rink ice ♫
♫ The Cure is stew cork bold ♫
♫ He's got Marty Feldman's eyes ♫


1 person marked this as a favorite.

♫ Why beer becomes geckos in the fright ♫
♫ Nuts be shears lonely whiskers of sum blighted observation ♫
♫ Bees strumming sin, elves dirty night ♫
♫ The vroom kit stings deflect the bars that slide trees bored in stations ♫
♫ Guy boppped a bold Stan out of sight ♫
♫ Sloping to mind from strong besotted birds or dingy wallabies ♫
♫ She burned a sea and then did lay Sorry toys aren't dating for ewe ♫

♫ Not gotta rot to bake free today come true ♫
♫ Where's button sat a thundered hand for sore wood never too ♫
♫ I guess it rains down in Africa ♫
♫ Wanna make some grime to due the strings glee severed lad ♫


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Vidmaster7 wrote:
He could relax with a hamburger and a margarita.

No can do. I need to find my salt shaker first.


♫ Wood you bike to bring home a bar? ♫
♫ Marry June creams tome in a car? ♫
♫ Land fee matters for a new Tsar? ♫
♫ Nor should you batter me a tool. ♫


♫ Why cams splitting ♫
♫ Jason Bourne-ing ♫
♫ At the whiner ♫
♫ On the former ♫

♫ Ty's man's baiting ♫
♫ Sam the bouncer ♫
♫ Poor the bam ♫
♫ To floor the toffee ♫

♫ And she pills it ♫
♫ Lonely calf's weigh ♫
♫ Sand Lenore ♫
♫ Hi beavers are glue ♫

♫ Bees are cooking ♫
♫ In the rearview ♫
♫ And nobodies ♫
♫ Climbing sin ♫


♫ Harvey Harvey ♫
♫ Harvey the Wonder Hamster ♫
♫ He doesn't bite and he doesn't squeal ♫
♫ He just runs around in his hamster wheel ♫
♫ Harvey Harvey ♫
♫ Harvey the Wonder Hamster ♫

♫ Hey Harvey! ♫


♫ Blue went with mad guys ♫
♫ Won't that take courage ♫
♫ So lie be a tide ♫
♫ Ships hard in demurrage ♫
♫ Bin a squirrel, lull a meeple ♫
♫ Toucans are bionic ♫
♫ The spark comes besides Drew ♫
♫ Ben takes you threw the wall ♫

♫ Icy tour flew others ♫
♫ Linings too ♫
♫ Hi be Boer crew mothers ♫
♫ And cats try why should you ♫
♫ Flo won't be inlaid ♫
♫ Are you a crow? ♫
♫ Corps grew lovers aren't lewd at all ♫
♫ Bike a chain so ♫


♫ Book are made of paragraphs ♫
♫ Everywhere you do it's made of glass ♫
♫ Cows hid hour ties in the bed ♫
♫ And that's the shell whats on Zoe's shed ♫

♫ Zits are there to show up ♫
♫ To fink the pleasant groaners nixed the cup ♫
♫ Ty severed shrews, he levered Lent No Doubt ♫
♫ The beckoned door was marred from leaking grout ♫


♫ Bork bork bork ♫
♫ Bork bork bork ♫
♫ Bork bork borkity bork ♫


♫ I bought a saw for Sam in the night. ♫
♫ We were warned, he came aground like he was half a bride. ♫
♫ She turned knees when it wasn't bright. ♫
♫ Ya'll shouldn't be that can I adorned. ♫
♫ I don't seem to show, lean to bears ♫
♫ What Lore farted for ♫
♫ I won't blow you anymore! ♫


♫ The twerking May was strong ♫
♫ And the toad is blinding wrong ♫
♫ And your blood is kindly drowned in gin ♫
♫ The rival tire is fear ♫
♫ And the jerks'll reek of beer ♫
♫ The wimps'll move barely such nearer ♫

♫ Who bought the pooch? Maybe. ♫
♫ Who fought the lonely treatise of a squirrel? ♫
♫ Boo got the glove, Wu sought the precious fetish. ♫
♫ You brought the homely fleetest string in the girl. ♫


♫ She's a wood squirrel, gloves are llamas. ♫
♫ Doves cheeses, and Comerica shoes. ♫
♫ She's a could burl, Stacy fought elves yeah. ♫
♫ Loves your sis, and her poison too. ♫

♫ It's the wrong way, givin' out free seeds yeah. ♫
♫ What's the bees weigh, sunnin' in a jar? ♫
♫ And I'm a lad's joy, because I won't leave a missile. ♫
♫ I'm a tad Roy for mistakin' her parts. ♫

♫ Now I'm tree! Tree pollen! ♫
♫ (We fallin', I'm a wee bawlin') ♫
♫ Yeah I'm glee! Free ballin'! ♫
♫ (He callin', now he's ye trawlin') ♫


♫ Did you sea the why? ♫
♫ I stink, and beans are sold at cost ♫
♫ Baby no signs before the seeds♫
♫ I am Millie Seltzer ♫
♫ 'Cause the lungs are dyed in lots ♫
♫ Dumping on a ridge is just the largest ♫
♫ That I've never seen ♫
♫ Everywhere you show, I'll borrow a clown. ♫
♫ Now I've really really got to fart. ♫
♫ Annie bares to glow, I'll sorrow a frown. ♫
♫ I'd morrow a brown but bought that car. ♫


♫ Every morning playing Halo sitting on the corner of my girlfriends four-post bed. ♫
♫ I know I'm no good and I know that she will own me but I try hard not to suck instead. ♫


AM GOLD wrote:
Jimmy Buffett wrote:

♫ Who will you do when you get bonely ♫

♫ No bodies lying on their sides ♫
♫ Old Ben's strumming and filing much too strong ♫
♫ Or is it Justin's turn inside? ♫

GAY LARD,

Huge chutney on my knees,
GAY LARD,
Ham pegging, starlings sneeze,
GAY LARD,
Snarling, bone two wheezing curried pines!

Yeah! Now this guy gets it!!

♫ Spay ya! ♫
♫ You're gonna need new knees ♫
♫ Spay ya! ♫
♫ I'm pegging for bleu cheese ♫
♫ Spay ya! ♫
♫ Arnold won't read these f+!&ing lines? ♫


♫ Who will you do when you get bonely ♫
♫ No bodies lying on their sides ♫
♫ Old Ben's strumming and filing much too strong ♫
♫ Or is it Justin's turn inside? ♫


♫ You remind me of the flayed (What flayed?)♫
♫ The flayed with the chowder (What chowder?) ♫
♫ The chowder of Yoo-Hoo (Who Hoo?) ♫
♫ True Sue (Sue what?) ♫
♫ Define tree as the maid ♫

♫ I saw my maple, falling hard as trees can fall ♫
♫ Whose in my shoes? ♫
♫ My co-pays lung had ponged ♫
♫ And now my eyes are blue ♫
♫ A shoddy stew ♫

♫ What find of tragic shells to use ♫
♫ Grime and nails, or guppy-lined trails ♫
♫ Plunder while tightening ♫
♫ Then Sadie bled ♫


♫ Would you play for free ♫
♫ In a peel of bone ♫
♫ If my knees weren't long ♫
♫ Would you stay with fleas ♫


♫ Just put those bold checkers on my belt ♫
♫ Get lit and b@*+! about them to myself ♫
♫ Afraid musings ain't got the blame toll ♫
♫ I like that cold rhyming cock and soul ♫


♫ We plotted the lotion at the Ned of the rail ♫
♫ Bears are not rowing, so far anyway ♫
♫ Mister Boddy told me that Frisco's a place ♫
♫ Where Aubrey's things fetter inside a safe ♫


♫ I met her on a truck down in Yodelo ♫
♫ Where you think your brain is hooked up to Berry Yoga ♫
♫ Q E V X ♫
♫ Yoga ♫

♫ She talked up to bees and I took her to France ♫
♫ I masted her frame and in a sleep deprived voice she said Troll-a♫
♫ Trolololololol-a ♫


Come on now! EVERYBODY SING!!!!


♫ I have a pitcher ♫
♫ Binned in the hall ♫
♫ An image of thew and of meat where it's been left all bleeding and raw ♫
♫ Books are our lives now, battered like corn ♫
♫ We bus all the night and we fight like a devil until it is dawn ♫


♫ We can glance if we want to ♫
♫ We can beaver our behinds ♫
♫ 'Cause your bends don't fence and if they know whence ♫
♫ Then they're way out of thyme ♫


♫ Here's some port...and a cheap rosé ♫
♫ I can't serve...someone's in the way ♫
♫ Lovely tailors...gas around the bay ♫
♫ And stalk around Cologne ♫


♫ I go piddle in the night ♫
♫ Hopefully not in my sleep ♫
♫ I drank Fountains of Wayne ♫
♫ Now I'm 6 foot deep ♫


♫ I can see clearly now Lorraine is gone ♫
♫ I can eat all popsicles sent my way ♫
♫ Gone are the Clark Bars that sad my clown ♫
♫ It's gonna be a fright, night, fun-climby day ♫


♫ Purple bays give me migraine ♫
♫ Stately kings just don't seem to stain ♫
♫ Rats ain't funny, even when they fly ♫
♫ 'Scuse me while I kiss this guy ♫


♫ I believe I'm a spy ♫
♫ I'm relieved I can touch this guy ♫
♫ I drink Bacardi every night in May ♫
♫ Bread and things make me fly away ♫

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