
gran rey de los mono |
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"Daddy, where did I come from?" seven-year-old Rachel asks. It is a moment for which her parents have carefully prepared. They take her into the living room, get out several books, and explain all they think she should know about sexual attraction, affection, love, and reproduction. Then they both sit back and smile contentedly. "Does that answer your question?" the mom asks. "Not really," the little girl says. "Judy said she came from Detroit. I want to know where I came from."

gran rey de los mono |
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On hearing that her elderly grandfather has just passed away, Katie goes straight to her grandparents' house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asks how her grandfather has died, her grandmother replies, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie tells her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex will surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear. Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. It was nice, slow, and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the ding and out on the dong." She pauses, wipes away a tear and then continues, "And if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"

Vidmaster7 |
1 person marked this as a favorite. |

A man boards a plane with six kids. After they get settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle leans over to him and asks, "Are all of those kids yours?" He replies, "No. I work for a condom company, and these are customer complaints."
Its your fault YOU baby sit them.

gran rey de los mono |
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captain yesterday wrote:Pixie sticks? Are those even legal on Absalom Station?!My first Starfinder character!!
Pixistix, a LG Shirren Xenoseeker themed Solarion.
If anyone laughs about his name I'll have him act genuinely mystified.
I think it depends on exactly where on the pixie you insert the stick.

gran rey de los mono |
Mickey Mouse is in the middle of a nasty divorce from Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation. "I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane," said the judge. Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's f*cking Goofy!"

Vidmaster7 |
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Mickey Mouse is in the middle of a nasty divorce from Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation. "I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane," said the judge. Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's f*cking Goofy!"
There is a mental Image I could of gone without.

gran rey de los mono |
gran rey de los mono wrote:Mickey Mouse is in the middle of a nasty divorce from Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation. "I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane," said the judge. Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's f*cking Goofy!"There is a mental Image I could of gone without.
If you don't want those kinds of images in your head, then you're in the wrong place.

Vidmaster7 |
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Does this help clear your mind?
Don't recognize that anime. She has nice animations however.
Also I feel like mickey is the more pay a hit man to deal with the problem type then divorce court.

gran rey de los mono |
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gran rey de los mono wrote:Does this help clear your mind?Don't recognize that anime. She has nice animations however.
Also I feel like mickey is the more pay a hit man to deal with the problem type then divorce court.
It's from Dragonaut. I've only seen the first 5 or so episodes so far, but it seems pretty good. Punniculus posted a pic the other day of another character from the show.

Drejk |

captain yesterday |
2 people marked this as a favorite. |

Give her a two-pronged twig with a rubber band in the middle. You can shoot stuff with it, hang it over a door easily, it isn't lethal, and best of all? It's insanely cheap.
She's creative, she can figure that all out on her own, she certainly isn't spending any mermaid tail money on it, and she knows I won't bankroll revenge schemes against her brother. :-)

Limeylongears |
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Drejk wrote:It's not Limeylongears (I suspect), but here's a video that claims to be Polish Saber fighting.Limeylongears wrote:Videos!Sword & dagger, bayonets, Italian WW1 trench knife and Polish sabre.
The sabre tournament is on Saturday morning (Yikes...)
It certainly is not me, but yep, that's it :)

Tacticslion |

<.<
>.>
I like my microsoft stuff...
Microsoft has a bad habit of thinking they know better than their user base what their user base wants, needs, and so on and with misjudging what people are open to accepting. I have had quite a few instances of MS forcing things on me that I don't want that cause problems for me. At this point they are necessary but really irritating.

Tacticslion |

captain yesterday wrote:Does he have a sister called Lik-m-aid?My first Starfinder character!!
Pixistix, a LG Shirren Xenoseeker themed Solarion.
If anyone laughs about his name I'll have him act genuinely mystified.
Was this... this was named by Freehold, was t it?

Freehold DM |
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gran rey de los mono wrote:Was this... this was named by Freehold, was t it?captain yesterday wrote:Does he have a sister called Lik-m-aid?My first Starfinder character!!
Pixistix, a LG Shirren Xenoseeker themed Solarion.
If anyone laughs about his name I'll have him act genuinely mystified.
no, I would have named it something like courtesans friend, which is used in my games currently to eliminate the poor taste of certain passionate byproducts and fillers. It is a natural and comes in a variety of fruity flavors.
Great seller. The party has made a killing at their massage parlors with it.

lisamarlene |
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I have enough 90s music on ITunes to last six and a half days.
Does that make me more grunge then everyone else, or that dad with the huge classic music collection that stops you to talk about it if you make eye contact with him.
I know we're all playing in a fantasy world here, but even so, in what part of that fantasy world is 90's music considered classic rock?

Tacticslion |

The Game Hamster wrote:Microsoft has a bad habit of thinking they know better than their user base what their user base wants, needs, and so on and with misjudging what people are open to accepting. I have had quite a few instances of MS forcing things on me that I don't want that cause problems for me. At this point they are necessary but really irritating.<.<
>.>
I like my microsoft stuff...
Example: Cortana is the single worst and slowest search engine I've ever had on a computer. Maybe it's because "she" searches the Internet for the sake of completion. Maybe it's because she's busy (note: it is hilarious and suspicious, here, that my autocorrect kept trying to turn this into, "maybe it's because she's busty"... >.>) trying to take all of my info and turn it not private (no matter how many times or places I switch it to wanting my information to be private), maybe it's because she is poorly programmed, or maybe it's because she just sucks. I don't know. But I didn't want this kind of a program on my computer. But I have no daggum choice because, apparently, she's a central/integrated part of the daggum Windows 10 OS that I also didn't want to update to, until MS just forced my computer to update one day while I was asleep, simulate musky invalidating many of my games, my old PDFs, my old Word - oh, and that's another thing: Word keeps connecting to the Internet now to show me little advertising Windows suggesting that I purchase... Microsoft Word. It is super obnoxious, can't be closed, takes up too much space, and is entirely worthless. And so on.

gran rey de los mono |
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All that's left for my Starfinder order is to make it through the bowels of hell otherwise known as central Illinois to here.
Truly, the most harrowing part of the journey.
Yes, Central Illinois is indeed a cesspit of Herculean proportions. East Central Illinois, on the other hand, is...well, it isn't necessarily all that much better, but it's home.

gran rey de los mono |

gran rey de los mono |
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A professor was giving a lecture on involuntary muscular contractions to his first year medical students. Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, he decided to lighten the mood. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, "Do you know what your a@$!~&@ is doing while you're having an orgasm?" She replied, "He's probably playing golf with his friends."