Deep 6 FaWtL

[gran rey de los nekkid]

I asked my iPhone "Siri, why am I still single."
She activated the camera and showed me my own face.

Edit: Maybe I should put some clothes on...

[Vidmaster7]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't where home is.

Now that was just wrong. it made you laugh and cry at the same time.

[gran rey de los mono]

A man in the park sees an attractive woman sitting on a bench reading a book. Next to her lies a dog. He thinks to himself "I bet I can use the dog as an ice breaker and then get her number." So he goes over and says "Excuse me, does your dog bite?" She smiles at him sweetly and says "No, he doesn't." The man bends down to pet the dog, who immediately bites him on the hand and then runs away. "Hey! You said your dog doesn't bite! What the f#%!!!" The woman's smile turns slightly dark and she says "He doesn't, but that wasn't my dog."

[gran rey de los mono]

After much deliberation, soul-searching, and prayer my wife and I have decided that we do not want children. If you are interested in them, please call me at 555...

[gran rey de los mono]

An 87 year old man runs into his doctor at the diner and says "Hey Doc, did you hear I'm getting married tomorrow?" "No," replies the doctor, "I didn't know that. Congratulations! Who's the bride?" The old man says proudly "It's Susie Smith." "Susie Smith?! Isn't she like 19 years old?" "Yep." "I feel I must warn you, too much activity in bed, so to speak, could be fatal." "Well, Doc, I've thought about that. But I figure if it happens, I can always remarry."

[gran rey de los mono]

I've never understood how you can come 2nd place in a biathlon. I mean, you have a gun with you, right?

[gran rey de los mono]

My girlfriend told me she wanted a fairy tale vacation. So I gave a loaf of bread and abandoned her in the middle of the forest.

[gran rey de los mono]

Bill: "I'm looking for my wife's murderer. Have been for years, now."
Ted: "Oh my god, your wife was murdered! How terrible!"
Bill: "No, you misunderstood. I haven't found her murderer yet."

[Vidmaster7]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Bill: "I'm looking for my wife's murderer. Have been for years, now."

Ted: "Oh my god, your wife was murdered! How terrible!"
Bill: "No, you misunderstood. I haven't found her murderer yet."

Life can be hard sometimes. Take my ex-wife.

Please!

[gran rey de los mono]

Vidmaster7 wrote:

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Another thing I hate is when people say "Well, can you call me if a room becomes available?" No. We don't do that here. I have worked places that had a wait list, and I know that some places still use them, but we don't. If we did, I would have said "I'm sorry, we don't have any rooms available for that weekend, but I can add you to the waiting list if you'd like." Also, don't ask me "Well, when do you expect people to start cancelling for that weekend so I'll know when to check back?" I don't expect people to cancel at all. Sure, some of them will, but who knows who and when? My advice, keep checking the web site. It will most likely know when a room opens up before I know. Hell, you may be able to set up some kind of auto-alert (maybe, I don't know, I don't use the website I use our property management software).

I never get that one on thirds but it sounds annoying. I hate the "your sold out on memorial day weekend at midnight on a Saturday? well whats going on around here?"

I get it from time to time, but not as often as the people on first or second shift, I'm sure.

I also hate it when someone calls me three or four times in an hour to see if I have any availability on a certain date. I said no the first time, do you really think it's changed in the last 10 minutes?

[gran rey de los mono]

Vidmaster7 wrote:

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't where home is.

Now that was just wrong. it made you laugh and cry at the same time.

A high school in a town about 30 miles from where I went to high school is often called upon to change their mascot. They're called "The Orphans" because there is a large orphanage in town, and some people think it's insensitive. I think they have a decent baseball team, though.

[gran rey de los mono]

"I love that movie so much! I went through a whole pack of tissues while watching it." is a phrase that his very different meanings depending on if it is said by a man or a woman.

[gran rey de los mono]

I found an old lamp the other day. When I rubbed it, a genie came out! He said "I will grant you two wishes." I said "Two wishes? I want three wishes!" The genie said "Very well, wish granted! You now have two wishes left."

[gran rey de los mono]

My nephew graduated from college a PHD, or Pizza Hut Deliveryman.

[gran rey de los mono]

My girlfriend texted me last night at 8pm, and said "What's more important: Me or the baseball game."
I replied "You, of course." at 11:15pm.

[gran rey de los mono]

A man to a psychiatric facility and asks the doctor "How do you determine who needs to be admitted?" The doctor says "Simple. We take them into a room with a bathtub full of water. We tell them to remove the water from the tub as quickly as possible, and present them with a teaspoon, a cup, and a bucket." "I see," said the man, "Anyone who chooses the cup or the spoon is clearly insane and should be admitted, right" "Wrong," replies the doctor. "A sane man pulls the plug. Now, would you like a single room, or are you fine with having a roommate?"

[Vidmaster7]

Found out I have a new pet peeve. people that ask you several questions and don't wait for the answer.

[Kileanna]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

I was always annoyed when my older aunts would come up to me at weddings and say "So, are you going to be next?" I finally put the kibosh on that nonsense would I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Dalindra said once he would start doing this. And he meant it xD

[Dalindra]

Yesssss!

[Limey Of Barsoom]

Captain Yesterday, FaWtL 6 News wrote:

Lord Of The Jurassic Moon, coming soon to a theater near you!!!

This has to happen. When is it going to happen?

Talk to your people, CY.

[captain yesterday]

Tiny T-Rex knocks on the bathroom door, there is someone in there. Tiny T-Rex says "but I really have to go!" "I'll be done in thirty seconds" "Thirty seconds! But, that's a half an hour!"

[Syrus Terrigan]

Vidmaster7 wrote:

Found out I have a new pet peeve. people that ask you several questions and don't wait for the answer.

Right there with ya, vid.

I'm parts manager (and sometimes service manager) at a Honda/Kawasaki/Suzuki/BRP powersports dealership. Obviously, "customer service/public relations" is/are going to be a major factor in performing my job duties. Quickest way for me to stop bothering with the social niceties? Ask me a faargin' question and then interrupt me while I'm helping you. Do it three times, and there's a real chance that we might suddenly lose our connection on a call, or we might have to start over on figuring out exactly what bike/atv you have but know nothing about.

Next best: call me to get parts for your Yamaha. Or Polaris (trashtrashtrash). Or your Harley. Better yet, ask me why I can't get stock parts for those brands without charging you more than the dealer 50 miles farther away!

End of the top three: "I've got a 1978 Fuster-Cluck Brokedown POS Limited. I need that o-ring that goes between the gizmawatchee and that thing what comes off the top of the engine. . . . . Whaddya mean 'you don't have it in stock'?? I bought the bike from your dealership five kids, two ex-wives, a bankruptcy, and three major surgeries ago!! . . . . They haven't made parts for that bike in 30 years?? Well why the hell not??!! . . . . I don't like what you're tellin' me, youngster. I'm gonna take my business elsewhere."

>.>

<.<

"Happy hunting, sir."

}:>

[TOZ]

Hey TL.

It's Disneyworld time.

[Tacticslion]

TOZ wrote:

Hey TL.

It's Disneyworld time.

Nooooooo!

I'm stuuuuuuuuuuuck!

We have no time, though we tried. My wife is still working (until Thursday).

This year, our DW time is June with my brother-in-law and his wife!

That said, if you happen to have some free time this week, PM me. We are planning on leaving town, and am having hard obligations, so it depends on how things go, but we might be able to swing by for lunch...

(Sorry our time was off!)

[Tacticslion]

I got up from a reasonably solid sleep about three hours ago. I had breakfast with my family (feeding my boys), and have started laundry. I have four major things on my "to-do" list, of which only TKD should be physically demanding. It is ridiculously hard for me to stay awake right now.

:|

:/

X/

... zzZZzz...

[NobodysHome]

Random Thoughts from Fanime Con/Clockwork Alchemy:

Parking was ridiculously easy; if you're willing to park a block and a half away and take a walk through a picturesque park (got a few Lulu shots there), it's $10 for all-day parking. Around here, that's a bargain!

If you ever want to alienate your likely-highest-income-bracket people, have your registration form have age groups that max out at "41 or older". Ouch.

I really need to learn to carry a notebook to write down what we bought from whom. The whole, "e-mail me a receipt" thing is time-consuming and generates an amazing amount of spam, so we're pretty much of the mind, "Ah, we'll remember it." And of course we don't. The number of charges on my credit card corresponds to the number of things we brought home, but lining them up? Not a fun endeavor!

My digital camera skills remain lacking. Ever since I "upgraded" from my beautiful old film camera to a digital (Nikon D7100), my beloved Tamron 28-200 lens hasn't taken very sharp pictures. (Hard to complain, since the lens predates almost all digital cameras.) So Shiro's player just bought himself a new Canon that has the vibration reduction lenses and takes amazing photos, so I grabbed one of the Nikon lenses that came with the camera... a 55-200. If you're ever indoors trying to take pictures of cosplayers, 55 mm is NOT small enough! I got very few decent pictures. Shiro's player got a ton. I will be looting his collection.

So, I respect people who want to use the con as an excuse to wear "whatever". People with far-from-perfect bodies showing tons of skin were the norm (and it was refreshing to not hear any body shaming going on), but I draw the line at thongs. Far, far too much butt floss for my tastes.
My favorite Anime con moment: I saw a woman dressed amazingly: Similar to a classic 1800's Englishwoman adventurer (think Rachel Weisz from The Mummy), but with a kimono-style top that really worked, so I walked around "topless Sailor Moon" (her original idea had obviously been to be topless, but when that got nixed, she put on a nude tube top to hide the nipples and got in) to get pictures of the explorer. The woman was delighted that, of the dozen men crowded around taking pictures, one had chosen style over skin.

Going to Clockwork Alchemy, the demographic aged about 30 years. We went from being some of the oldest people about to some of the youngest. Much better shopping, though.

Anyway, I know, I know, I have Bats in the Fun pictures AND Anime/Clockwork con pictures to post, but I'm having NobodysWife loot Shiro's collection so we get a really nice set before I put 'em up. Speaking of really nice sets, at the con I saw the most amazing pair...

[NobodysHome]

...of wine glasses, so I bought them.

[Captain Yesterday, Boob Brained]

Damn it! Don't do that!!

[lisamarlene]

Well, for once I made a birthday cake that did not look like it was decorated by a blind squirrel monkey. With palsey.
And my daughter was *happy* with it, and didn't offer a critique.
And I didn't have a nervous breakdown getting everything ready, because we didn't invite guests.
All-around win, really.

[Rysky]

Yay!

Happy birthday to the little one, lisamarlene!

[Tacticslion]

Happy her birthday!

[NobodysHome]

lisamarlene wrote:

Well, for once I made a birthday cake that did not look like it was decorated by a blind squirrel monkey. With palsey.

Wow! Your decorations rate "blind squirrel monkey"?!?!

May I some day be that lucky...

[John Napier 698]

Hey, Nobody. I'm glad you had fun at your local anime convention. Whenever you get the chance, I'd be honored if you'd come to Pittsburgh to see Tekko. But I'll understand if you can't.

[captain yesterday]

Oh! Come to GameHoleCon here... or wait until they come up with a better name.

[NobodysHome]

John Napier 698 wrote:

Hey, Nobody. I'm glad you had fun at your local anime convention. Whenever you get the chance, I'd be honored if you'd come to Pittsburgh to see Tekko. But I'll understand if you can't.

Well, Pittsburg is an easy drive. That extra "h" adds 3000 miles, plane fare, hotels, etc.

So I appreciate the offer, but pretty unlikely unless we end up on the East Coast for some other reason. Not impossible, but it's kind of like PaizoCon -- once we have to get on a plane, our impetus goes waaaaaay down...

[lisamarlene]

NobodysHome wrote:

lisamarlene wrote:

Well, for once I made a birthday cake that did not look like it was decorated by a blind squirrel monkey. With palsey.

Wow! Your decorations rate "blind squirrel monkey"?!?!

May I some day be that lucky...

I don't think I showed you pictures of Teensy Valeros's Justice-League-on-a-train cake. The one that, combined with other factors, did have me ugly-crying and cursing. My batting average for his cakes is .500, and maybe.317 for hers.

[captain yesterday]

The General is napping and the kids are distracted so I took the opportunity to seize control of the back office/pantry.

And by seize control I mean clean it up and move in.

Makes sure to plant his pole so no one else even wants it.

[lisamarlene]

I have a Norwegian friend who is a conspiracy theorist.
He's always pining for the fnords.

[Tacticslion]

One point five loads of laundry finished.
New car seat installed/old one removed.
Photos downloaded/removed from phone.
Special <details private, by request of owners> activity attended (the kids loved it)!
Now, TKD!

...

Man, am I tired.

[Freehold DM]

NobodysHome wrote:

[b]My favorite Anime con moment: I saw a woman dressed amazingly: Similar to a classic 1800's Englishwoman adventurer (think Rachel Weisz from The Mummy), but with a kimono-style top that really worked, so I walked around "topless Sailor Moon" (her... [/b)

Por que no Los dos?

[TriOmegaZero]

Tacticslion wrote:

(Sorry our time was off!)

We're here until the 9th, and we have a free day this Saturday.

[Freehold DM]

lisamarlene wrote:

Well, for once I made a birthday cake that did not look like it was decorated by a blind squirrel monkey. With palsey.

And my daughter was *happy* with it, and didn't offer a critique.
And I didn't have a nervous breakdown getting everything ready, because we didn't invite guests.
All-around win, really.

sends lisamarlene a free ticket for "regular size valeros all male revue"

You earned this...

[Sharoth]

Wonder Woman - God Killer Sword - MAN AT ARMS: REFORGED

Wonder Woman Shield - MAN AT ARMS: REFORGED

[Limeylongears]

Don't eat beans when you're sleeping in a tent.

[Captain Levitatey]

Or, eat more beans and attain flight.

Isn't that what Aeromantic Infandibulum is all about.

Or did you guys lie to me about that too.

[John Napier 698]

Captain Levitatey wrote:

Or, eat more beans and attain flight.

Isn't that what Aeromantic Infandibulum is all about.

Or did you guys lie to me about that too.

Only if you light it. After all, that's how rockets work, right?

[Tacticslion]

Tacticslion wrote:

One point five loads of laundry finished.

New car seat installed/old one removed.
Photos downloaded/removed from phone.
Special <details private, by request of owners> activity attended (the kids loved it)!
Now, TKD!

...

Man, am I tired.

And now I'm even more tired!

But it was great! And so was dinner!

Happy Memorial Day, all!

[Tacticslion]

NobodysHome: watch this video for me, and teach me the important math parts!

(Unless you don't want to; that's fine, too!)

:D

EDIT: to be clear, it's set up that it's pretty clear and easy to understand, but I really didn't feel like watching a 30-minute video when I posted this. But now I'm, like, one-third of the way through, and I can't really stop, now. Dang it. XD

EDIT 2: Though I'd still like to hear your view on the mathematical principals.

[Freehold DM]

Tacticslion wrote:

NobodysHome: watch this video for me, and teach me the important math parts!

(Unless you don't want to; that's fine, too!)

:D

EDIT: to be clear, it's set up that it's pretty clear and easy to understand, but I really didn't feel like watching a 30-minute video when I posted this. But now I'm, like, one-third of the way through, and I can't really stop, now. Dang it. XD

EDIT 2: Though I'd still like to hear your view on the mathematical principals.

sets link aflame, watches math burn

Its....beautiful...

[Tacticslion]

Freehold DM wrote:

Tacticslion wrote:

NobodysHome: watch this video for me, and teach me the important math parts!

(Unless you don't want to; that's fine, too!)

:D

EDIT: to be clear, it's set up that it's pretty clear and easy to understand, but I really didn't feel like watching a 30-minute video when I posted this. But now I'm, like, one-third of the way through, and I can't really stop, now. Dang it. XD

EDIT 2: Though I'd still like to hear your view on the mathematical principals.

sets link aflame, watches math burn

Its....beautiful...

You know (presupposing your conceptualization of "burning math" is correct*) you're also burning turtles, right? Turtles from the rain forest? That's, like, most of the video (the second 2/3s).

* It isn't, but I'll allow you to dream your bitter, bitter dreams.