You don't know there could be a fire extinguisher built into that thing.
And some nerfed me so I no longer have immortal fire
I'm pretty sure your banned from some threads too. (at least one anyways)
Aren't we all?
I'm not.
What if we don't even know we are banned?!??!?!
You want my headgear, little girl who was previously ADM?
I'd love to oblige, but it seems to be stuck.
Then again, who am I to say no to a little girl?
*headbutts ADM, spraying gore everywhere, then tears her headgear free, splattering even more over the room*
Ooops. Sorry.
*is going now*
The gore writhes and twists splurging (+5 Acidic, Flamy, Icy, & shocking burst, Holy, Unholy, Axiomatic) blood all over Sissyl until she degrades
Oh please. I don't degrade from a mere 6d6+5 damage.
Pffft.
Rules! RULES! I must find rules that cover these things!
*searches books fanatically*
Oh dear.
It appears that everyone has cheated simultaneously!
NNNNOOOO!!!!
Wait a moment: I thought that we had previously established that Ancient Dragon Master was not an Ancient Dragon who was Master of something undefined, but a mortal who was a Master of Ancient Dragons.
I need to get this squared away if my erotic fan fiction is going to be accurate. The way you describe an ancient dragon curling up in a corner and weeping and the description of a mortal in the same situation is stylistically very different!
Right, ADM and Sissyl. Here are two sentient, Morganti vorpal swords. If I don't hear snicker-snacking and soul-eating within 10 minutes, you can both spend the rest of the day on paizo.com's official purple Naughty Step.
Wait a moment: I thought that we had previously established that Ancient Dragon Master was not an Ancient Dragon who was Master of something undefined, but a mortal who was a Master of Ancient Dragons.
This is correct.
Right, ADM and Sissyl. Here are two sentient, Morganti vorpal swords. If I don't hear snicker-snacking and soul-eating within 10 minutes, you can both spend the rest of the day on paizo.com's official purple Naughty Step.
Didn't I burn you?
Rules! RULES! I must find rules that cover these things!
*searches books fanatically*
Oh dear.
It appears that everyone has cheated simultaneously!
NNNNOOOO!!!!
I do have rules.
Sometimes objects not crafted to be weapons nonetheless see use in combat. Because such objects are not designed for this use, any creature that uses an improvised weapon in combat is considered to be nonproficient with it and takes a –4 penalty on attack rolls made with that object. To determine the size category and appropriate damage for an improvised weapon, compare its relative size and damage potential to the weapon list to find a reasonable match. An improvised weapon scores a threat on a natural roll of 20 and deals double damage on a critical hit. An improvised thrown weapon has a range increment of 10 feet.
It counts as one because i am using Custom magic item creation to create three items. The first of which is made up of four smaller items which (in order) thickens, multiplies, enchants and finally hardens any blood to go through it, The second creates and maintains multiple demiplanes which store many a huge vat of blood and gore, The third teleports the blood and Gore from the second item into the first item.
Right, ADM and Sissyl. Here are two sentient, Morganti vorpal swords. If I don't hear snicker-snacking and soul-eating within 10 minutes, you can both spend the rest of the day on paizo.com's official purple Naughty Step.Didn't I burn you?
Asbestos hair.
*Sighs*
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Some people just can't be injured, let alone killed. Take me for example, the only things that can hurt/kill me are items that belonged to my cursed brother (Siegfried Heydrich) and they are: his sword "Nightstar" (a ridiculous name if you ask me), his Shield of Faith *sigh* and his armour (thank goodness THAT one isn't named).
Of course, even if I'm slain, don't think it's over. Because, aside from the fact that I can resurrect myself, my little sister - the vampire sorceress, Katarina Heydrich (who is just as evil - though not as powerful - as I am) - will then need to be dealt with for she has the same idea I had (i.e. she wants to kill me and rule as countess).
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You have a nice family, death murder, control. Luckily there are to many reasons why you should not rule this city.
I'll just sneak in here.
Who said that?
I don't actually think I need to hide if you get that much of a penalty to perception. why am I even saying this you probably can't hear me anyways.
Pardon?
I'm not even sure how you get a penalty that low your like the reverse pun-pun.
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*Casts a frost spell on Vidmaster7, rendering him to being trapped in a block of ice.*
Alright, step one is completed. Now for step two.
*Transfers Vidmaster7 to a nearby cave.*
Here you go, Cavey, now all you need to do is wait for the Teen Angels. I've got you some light reading material to help pass the time.
*Places a Playcaveman magazine on the ice, open to a nice centrefold.*
:is the centerfold model:
Well I guess I'll have to feel in for vidmaster. just remember you've done this to yourselfs.
now Just let me get my bearings...
Q1: What Do You Call A Bear With No Teeth?
A1: A gummy bear!
Q2: What Do You Call A Wet Bear?
A2: A drizzly bear
Q3: Why Do Pandas Like Old Movies?
A3: Because they're in black and white.
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Captain Danger Bear is in glorious technicolour. He has submerged himself in a vat of paint and intends to see how long he can stay under without coming up for air.
What Do You Call A Bear Without Ears?
B's
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I am torn between either killing myself, or killing the two of you!
*Thinks for a moment, get an idea (a horrible idea, a horribly wonderful idea).*
Oh Doktor Verruckte, please call forth GoatToucher using the necessary summoning ritual.
*Sees the worried expression on his face.*
Stop panicking and just do it!
:appears in the circle, naked, his [REDACTED] trembling with excitement:
You rang?
I think that's the bell on the end of your .
I see goattoucher brought all the bells to the ball....
Wait was that a bohemian rhapsody reference but what was the redacte.. OH GOD i'm out! *flees*
Scaramouche! Scaramouche! Can you [REDACTED] the Fandango!
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*Gets extremely angry.*
Doktor Verruckte! I thought you would have explained to GoatToucher, why you summoned him! Honestly, now everything's a mess and it's all your fault! Prepare for some extreme punishment when we...
*Looks around, confused.*
Doktor Verruckte? Doktor Verruckte! Where are you?!
*Pans over to GoatToucher's workroom, where Doktor Verruckte is strapped to a chair and looking very terrified.*
Mama,
I just [REDACTED] a goat.
Put my [REDACTED] against his [REDACTED],
Pulled my [REDACTED], now he's [REDACTED],
Mama, [REDACTED] had just begun,
But now I've gone and [REDACTED] it [REDACTED] [REDACTED].
Mama, oo-oo-oo-oo.
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:caresses Doktor Verruckte's cheek, adjusts gag and forehead restraint:
:soothing
Didn't mean to make you [REDACTED]
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
[REDACTED], [REDACTED] as if nothing really matters...
:draws opaque curtain, obscuring the "workroom", but doing nothing to muffle the ensuing noises:
:a myriad of noises ensue. They vary in source, pitch, and volume.:
:there is the occasional spatter of unidentifiable fluid on the curtain:
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Well, there goes my chief scientist!
*Shrugs.*
Now how do tackle the issue of obtaining a harem of brides to turn into vampires? They need to be *coughs* buxom *coughs again* and they definitely need to be among the most depraved individuals in the world (willing to do anything, no matter how heinous it is).
*Thinks for a moment, has an epiphany.*
Ah yes, how could I forget? I know just the place to go!
Travels to (incognito, of course, as is the fashion) the annual bridal auction (and groom auction) that GoatToucher organised and hosts.
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One would think you guys are suffering from mercury poisoning or something.
Providing the thermometer has stayed intact, no.
Count, I can lend you one of my bricks if you like.
'o_O'
:calls from behind the curtain:
I'll have the Doktor back in a little while, so don't fret. It would be rude to deprive you of an effective servant.
...without asking first.
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*Looks around in a nervous manner.*
Count Reiner Heydrich? Who's that? Sounds like an important fellow I must say! *Nervous laugh.*
Anyway, when is the auction going to begin? I'm keeping my eyes peeled for a group of young, attractive girls who are into older men (like a thousand years old), becoming vampires, evil and or heinous acts of depravity and adore the Nightlife in a creepy castle.
*Quickly dismisses disguise to talk to GoatToucher.*
Sounds reasonable, perhaps he'll be more the mad scientist I want him to be. Don't know what Pulg was offering me a brick for though.
*Puts disguise back on and retakes his seat.*
I'm all thawed now... well mostly.