I'm hoping that this thread can be a forum for those who competed in the first round to evaluate, critique, and comment on one another's wondrous items. After all, it is in the spirit of RPG Superstar that we foster the creativity of all of this year's entrants and encourage those who didn't make it into the Top 32 to hone their skills for future competitions.
Also, realize that this thread is independent of the judge's critique thread and that those who want evaluations from both the judges and their peers should post their items in both threads.
i think one thread would be enough. I don't think that people only want feedback from either judges or random posters.
Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 9
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Note: This is a very slightly different version of the item entered. Due to unfamiliarity with Microsoft 2010, I saved over that version.
Clay of Flesh Crafting
Aura strong transmutation CL 10th
Slot--- Price 3800 gp; Weight 3 lbs.
Description The Clay of Flesh Crafting resembles fine potters clay, moist to the touch, with a light brownish tinge. Applied to the skin of a target humanoid, this single use item makes the flesh malleable, allowing another person to reshape the target’s physical appearance including apparent sex, race, weight and height with a Craft: Sculpture check. Unwilling targets must be physically or magically restrained throughout the process. DC’s on the Craft: Sculpture checks are:
Same race and sex DC 10
Different race or sex (or both) DC 15
Specific person: DC 30, +5 circumstance bonus modeling off a painting or statue; +10 if modeled on an actual person.
A successful role allows the character a +15 circumstance bonus to disguise checks. The clay does not change hair color, eye color, or the target’s size category or grant racial abilities.
Alternately, the clay can be used to cause blindness, deafness, or silence without a skill check by covering the ears, mouth, and eyes or any combination thereof. Silence also removes the ability of the target to eat, leading to eventual starvation. Effects are permanent unless removed by break enchantment, limited wish, wish, miracle or reapplying the Clay of Flesh Crafting and making the appropriate skill checks.
The original clay originates in Arcadia, which some tribes of the continent use in adoption ceremonies for children captured to replace slain relatives. Wizards in Cheliax and Andoran have mastered the art of mixing the clay. It is used by both nations’ intelligence services and in Cheliax for artistic endeavors.
Construction Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, alter self, permanency Cost 3800 gp
Star Voter Season 6
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well why not...
Egg of the Flame Toxoztesoma
Aura strong transmutation and necromancy CL12th
Slot head Price 12,000gp Weight-
Description
This small gem is worn on the forehead, this item is activated by speaking the command word, and it borrows into the owner’s head. His skin and organs melt and turn into a single advanced leech swarm with the additional following changes; +2 strength, +4 dexterity, +3 natural armour, burn ability, fire resistance 20 and vulnerability to cold damage, this swarm is fully under the control of the owner, also anything this swarm perceives the owner perceives, the owner can control telepathically at any range as a swift action. After the owner’s body resurrects in a burst of flames, turning into a flaming skeletal creature with the following traits +2 strength bonus +4 dexterity bonus, +3 natural armour bonus, DR5/bludgeoning, darkvision 60ft, resist fire 20, vulnerability to cold, burn ability, the owner is treated as a native outsider for the duration of the effect. This effect lasts for 10 minutes, after which the owner’s body naturally extinguishes itself, incapacitating him for a round as his flesh slowly reforms, at the same time the swarm evaporates into a thick mist. The destruction of the swarm has no effect on the owner. This is a one use only item, after its activation it is destroyed. Alternatively by placing the egg on a dead creature’s body and activating it, the body is animated into a bloody flaming undead champion with the personality and alignment it had in life and it also gains the blood drain and poison abilities of the leech swarm. This undead creature lasts 1d6 minutes and after that it is instantly destroyed into a small pile of ashes.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, swarm skin, elemental body II, animate dead CL12 Cost 6,000gp
Marathon Voter Season 7
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I'm hoping that this thread can be a forum for those who competed in the first round to evaluate, critique, and comment on one another's wondrous items. After all, it is in the spirit of RPG Superstar that we foster the creativity of all of this year's entrants and encourage those who didn't make it into the Top 32 to hone their skills for future competitions.
Also, realize that this thread is independent of the judge's critique thread and that those who want evaluations from both the judges and their peers should post their items in both threads.
Peers are allowed to post in the judges thread: have at it over there.
Clay of Flesh Crafting
First thing that I noticed is that the cost and price are the same, which is likely an automatic disqualifier. That nonwithstanding, the two aspects of the item are a bit too different to lump into a single item.
First half: The DCs for the first part are a bit muddied: for instance, the language on "if modeled on an actual person" is quite unclear on how that would not be the case, since you're trying to replicate a specific person. There's no length for the process, which might be important because you must restrain an unwilling target. Craft (sculpting) may be a better choice for construction requirements rather than usage requirements.
Second Half: It's pretty undercosted for an item that causes permanent blindness/deafness/silence when the cure is the item itself or a 5th-9th level spell. What happens if you put it in the nostrils?
Peers are allowed to post in the judges thread: have at it over there.I'm hoping that this thread can be a forum for those who competed in the first round to evaluate, critique, and comment on one another's wondrous items. After all, it is in the spirit of RPG Superstar that we foster the creativity of all of this year's entrants and encourage those who didn't make it into the Top 32 to hone their skills for future competitions.
Also, realize that this thread is independent of the judge's critique thread and that those who want evaluations from both the judges and their peers should post their items in both threads.
I will be there trying to comment on all the items. double checking this thread for non-duplicates will probably be too cumbersome.
i think one thread would be enough. I don't think that people only want feedback from either judges or random posters.
Well, it was my hope that an additional thread would help the judge's critique thread from becoming too cluttered with commentary. And perhaps easier on Sean since he wouldn't need to scroll through tons of peer evaluations to make sure he responds to every item asking for the judge's critiques.
i think one thread would be enough. I don't think that people only want feedback from either judges or random posters.Well, it was my hope that an additional thread would help the judge's critique thread from becoming too cluttered with commentary. And perhaps easier on Sean since he wouldn't need to scroll through tons of peer evaluations to make sure he responds to every item asking for the judge's critiques.
I will give it some time to let it grow a puffer for Sean to work through.
I will give it some time to let it grow a puffer for Sean to work through.i think one thread would be enough. I don't think that people only want feedback from either judges or random posters.Well, it was my hope that an additional thread would help the judge's critique thread from becoming too cluttered with commentary. And perhaps easier on Sean since he wouldn't need to scroll through tons of peer evaluations to make sure he responds to every item asking for the judge's critiques.
So long as we all have the opportunity to provide one another with feedback and helpful advice, I'm happy. :)
This was my submission. Please give me plenty of constructive criticism, as I am trying to get into the gaming industry.
Scabbard of Reforging
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 10th
Slot -; Price 14,000gp; Weight 2lb.
Description
This heavy, reinforced scabbard feels warm to the touch and smells of burning coal. Once per day as a full-round action, any blade within 1 size category of the scabbard may be sheathed and reforged into the exact size and shape of the scabbard’s intended weapon. For example, sheathing a Small-sized Scimitar into a Scabbard of Reforging intended for a Medium-sized Long Sword will reforge the item into a Medium-sized Long Sword, but a Medium-sized Dagger or Large-sized Great Sword will be rejected. Any special materials or magical properties up to a Caster Level of 10 are retained by the reforged weapon, but all other properties are lost. Artefacts cannot be reforged by the scabbard. This effect can be used to repair damaged or broken blades, but destroyed blades are treated as being 1 size-category smaller for the purpose of fitting into the scabbard; providing most of the pieces can be reclaimed.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Items, Fabricate, Make Whole, creator must have 2 ranks in Craft (Weapons) skill; Cost 7,000gp
This item was inspired by two things: First, those campaigns where you never find a magic weapon that corresponds with your character theme or weapon focus and everything ends up going in the 'barter' pile. Second, when you have a GM that likes to sunder a lot!
I'll be the first to admit that it doesn't have that immediate 'WOW' factor, but in my opinion, it is practical, useful, balanced and doesn't really 'break' anything (pardon the pun). If anyone thinks otherwise, please comment and be brutaly honest.
This was my submission. Please give me plenty of constructive criticism, as I am trying to get into the gaming industry.
Scabbard of Reforging
** spoiler omitted **This item was inspired by two things: First, those campaigns where you never find a magic weapon that corresponds with your character theme or weapon focus and everything ends up going in the 'barter' pile. Second, when you have a GM that likes to sunder a lot!
I'll be the first to admit that it doesn't have that immediate 'WOW' factor, but in my opinion, it is practical, useful, balanced and doesn't really 'break' anything (pardon the pun). If anyone thinks otherwise, please comment and be brutaly honest.
I like this item a lot, but the language is confusing. Why not a Medium dagger or a Large greatsword? Is it because the scabbard is a designed for a one-handed weapon (which both a longsword and a scimitar are) or because of something else. With your permission, I'd like to come back and edit this for style as well, but I first need a better understanding of what its limitations actually are. Also, I might consider permanency as a required spell along with shrink item.
My opinion regarding Egg of the Flame Toxoztesoma...
Aura strong transmutation and necromancy CL12th
Slot head Price 12,000gp Weight-
Description
This small gem is worn on the forehead, this item is activated by speaking the command word, and it borrows into the owner’s head. His skin and organs melt and turn into a single advanced leech swarm with the additional following changes; +2 strength, +4 dexterity, +3 natural armour, burn ability, fire resistance 20 and vulnerability to cold damage, this swarm is fully under the control of the owner, also anything this swarm perceives the owner perceives, the owner can control telepathically at any range as a swift action. After the owner’s body resurrects in a burst of flames, turning into a flaming skeletal creature with the following traits +2 strength bonus +4 dexterity bonus, +3 natural armour bonus, DR5/bludgeoning, darkvision 60ft, resist fire 20, vulnerability to cold, burn ability, the owner is treated as a native outsider for the duration of the effect. This effect lasts for 10 minutes, after which the owner’s body naturally extinguishes itself, incapacitating him for a round as his flesh slowly reforms, at the same time the swarm evaporates into a thick mist. The destruction of the swarm has no effect on the owner. This is a one use only item, after its activation it is destroyed. Alternatively by placing the egg on a dead creature’s body and activating it, the body is animated into a bloody flaming undead champion with the personality and alignment it had in life and it also gains the blood drain and poison abilities of the leech swarm. This undead creature lasts 1d6 minutes and after that it is instantly destroyed into a small pile of ashes.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, swarm skin, elemental body II, animate dead CL12 Cost 6,000gp
1: your grammar and spelling isn't really of a professional standard. Your first sentence alone would make any pedantic writer cringe and it took me quite a few reads to fully understand the item's description.
This is how I would have worded it:
This small, luminescent gem is set in the centre of an eccentric circlet. When the command word is uttered, the gem burrows into the wearer's forehead and causes the wearer's skin and organs to melt into a pile of vile, writhing leaches which act as a single advanced leech swarm with the following additional qualities...
...or words to that effect.
2: You've gone way too overboard with the effects. The swarm has too many additional qualities and the 'flaming skeletal creature' is way over the top. It's essentially a summon+polymorph item with your own custom creatures thrown in. You also weren't clear on the state of the wearer or the duration of the effect; by the sounds of it, the wearer should be dead, as it has been deprived of its vital organs. Coming back as a burning skeleton for 10 minutes and being ressurected afterwards makes this item a summon+death+polymorph+ressurect item. This is complicated at best and it hardly seems useful or balanced.
This is how I would have designed it:
The effects would be as follows: Firstly, the leach swarm would simply manifest in an adjacent square as oppossed to forming from the wearer's skin. I'd leave it at 'advanced leach swarm with the burn ability, immunity to fire and vulnerablity to cold' and instead of being controlled telepathically, it would behave as a typical summoned swarm. In addition, I'd leave the 'burning skeleton' bit out, except perhaps for the seconary effect, which I will get into later.
3: The raising of the undead champion by activating the gem on a corpse was a good concept, but again, the description and the duration ruined it.
I would have designed this secondary effect as follows:
If the gem is activated on the corpse of a humanoid creature, it summons a Mohrg with the Burn ability, immunity to fire and vulnerability to cold. The Mohrg is not automatically under the control of the animator and lasts for 1D6 rounds before turning to ash.
The CL of this item would increase to at least 18 as a result of the above modification. The cost seems just about right though.
To sum it up, you had a wonderfully morbid theme happening there, but your writing style needs a lot of work and your designs need to be balanced and simplified. I hope this review inspires you to develop your writing and designing skills, because it sounds like you have some great ideas floating around in that twisted mind of yours. ;)
I like this item a lot, but the language is confusing. Why not a Medium dagger or a Large greatsword? Is it because the scabbard is a designed for a one-handed weapon (which both a longsword and a scimitar are) or because of something else. With your permission, I'd like to come back and edit this for style as well, but I first need a better understanding of what its limitations actually are. Also, I might consider permanency as a required spell along with shrink item.This was my submission. Please give me plenty of constructive criticism, as I am trying to get into the gaming industry.
Scabbard of Reforging
** spoiler omitted **This item was inspired by two things: First, those campaigns where you never find a magic weapon that corresponds with your character theme or weapon focus and everything ends up going in the 'barter' pile. Second, when you have a GM that likes to sunder a lot!
I'll be the first to admit that it doesn't have that immediate 'WOW' factor, but in my opinion, it is practical, useful, balanced and doesn't really 'break' anything (pardon the pun). If anyone thinks otherwise, please comment and be brutaly honest.
I agree with you about the confusion; I had a lot of trouble trying to describe the item's limitations as clearly as possible and couldn't do it without an example. I could have really simplified it by easing or removing the limitations, but this made the item unbalanced and potentially game-breaking.
I put a limitation on the item to make it more 'realistic' and limit the exploitation. As am example, try comparing a dagger with a long sword; the long sword is made up of a LOT more steel than the dagger and while the magic of the scabbard is capable of generating additional materials to complete the reforging process, it wouldn't have the capacity to generate THAT much extra steel. Now compare steel with adamantium; I had to put something in there to stop players from crafting an adamantium dagger and reforging it into an adamantium great sword. It would be possible to work the other way around though, because there's nothing stopping you from breaking the adamantium great sword down into smaller peices and reforging it as a dagger. This 'shrinking' mechanic was put in place to allow the reforging of weapons commonly looted from giants and other large humanoids, because they'd almost always have something useful if it wasn't for the Large aspect. ;)
EDIT:
The scabbard could be created to suit any bladed weapon. You could create a 'Large Bastard Sword Scabbard of Reforging' or a 'Small Dagger Sheath of Reforging'; even a 'Rhoka Scabbard of Reforging'. In any case, if you can fit a blade in the scabbard, it can be reforged into whatever weapon it was intended for. I tried describing this aspect, but it became too long-winded.
And of course, you may edit the item as much as you like! ^_^
Also submitted for judge's critique on their thread, I'm putting it here for general commentary.
Paranoid Charm
Aura faint abjuration; CL 5th
Slot neck; Price 4,000 gp; Weight .5 lbs.
Description
This amulet is crafted in gold, often in the form of a humanoid face bearing a pained expression. The amulet can be activated once per day, upon which for the entire 24 hour duration it will either confer a +4 enchantment bonus to the wearer's AC or absorb 60 points of damage of *only* the most recent physical (blunt, slash, pierce) or energy (acid, fire, cold, electricity, force) damage of two hit points or greater inflicted upon the wearer in the past day.
The amulet cannot be activated again or have its type of protection altered during its 24 hour duration and removing the charm from your neck ends any conferred bonus immediately. Whenever the amulet is donned, it cannot yet be activated until the wearer suffers at least two hit points of any of the applicable types of damage noted. Likewise, if the wearer does not suffer any of the applicable types of damage in over 24 hours, he must suffer enough damage of any of the applicable types before it will activate again; non-lethal damage does not satisfy the damage prerequisite for activation of this item.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, shield, protection from energy; Cost 2,000 gp
Also submitted for judge's critique on their thread, I'm putting it here for general commentary.
Paranoid Charm
Spoiler:
Aura faint abjuration; CL 5th
Slot neck; Price 4,000 gp; Weight .5 lbs.
Description
This amulet is crafted in gold, often in the form of a humanoid face bearing a pained expression. The amulet can be activated once per day, upon which for the entire 24 hour duration it will either confer a +4 enchantment bonus to the wearer's AC or absorb 60 points of damage of *only* the most recent physical (blunt, slash, pierce) or energy (acid, fire, cold, electricity, force) damage of two hit points or greater inflicted upon the wearer in the past day.The amulet cannot be activated again or have its type of protection altered during its 24 hour duration and removing the charm from your neck ends any conferred bonus immediately. Whenever the amulet is donned, it cannot yet be activated until the wearer suffers at least two hit points of any of the applicable types of damage noted. Likewise, if the wearer does not suffer any of the applicable types of damage in over 24 hours, he must suffer enough damage of any of the applicable types before it will activate again; non-lethal damage does not satisfy the damage prerequisite for activation of this item.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, shield, protection from energy; Cost 2,000 gp
Here's my input:
1: You've created an item with an effect that can be activated once per day and lasts 24 hours... Do you see what's wrong with this? The effect would work much better as a constant effect.
2: This is a swiss-army-amulet; you've got the choice of an AC buff and two types of damage absorption. From what I've come to understand, this is grounds for immediate dismissal in the Superstar comp. In addition, the damage absorption isn't described very well and appears to work on damage that had been received prior to equipping the amulet, or in other words, a form of healing. Instead, it should only apply to incoming damage (see the Scarab of Protection for a great example). You also didn't designate a type of AC bonus; is it a Natural Armour bonus, an Enhancement bonus, a Dodge bonus, a Shield bonus...?
3: The cost is way too low. An Amulet of Natural Armour +4 has a cost of 32,000gp. Try comparing the cost of your items to existing ones and double check the magic item creation guidelines to ensure you get a genuine, approximate value.
I loved your initial description of the item though ("This amulet is crafted in gold, often in the form of a humanoid face bearing a pained expression..."). It is short, sweet and descriptive. Well done :)
I agree with you about the confusion; I had a lot of trouble trying to describe the item's limitations as clearly as possible and couldn't do it without an example. I could have really simplified it by easing or removing the limitations, but this made the item unbalanced and potentially game-breaking.
I put a limitation on the item to make it more 'realistic' and limit the exploitation. As am example, try comparing a dagger with a long sword; the long sword is made up of a LOT more steel than the dagger and while the magic of the scabbard is capable of generating additional materials to complete the reforging process, it wouldn't have the capacity to generate THAT much extra steel. Now compare steel with adamantium; I had to put something in there to stop players...
Hmm, okay, now I see where you're going and I still really like it, but I think then that the item may do too much. After all, the person for whom this would be most useful then would be a fighter whose either taken a specific weapon archetype (eg. Two-Handed Fighter) or a character that has simply pumped a bunch of feats into a single weapon style.
Might I suggest then, that the scabbard can accommodate any kind of weapon of any size, but can only maintain the transformation of one weapon at a time? The weapon that gets placed into the scabbard would thus get "attuned" to it and would become the specific size category and weapon type that the scabbard is designed for. Then, if you find a new better weapon, just switch it out with the old one, which would then revert to its original size and form.
You could probably remove the CL limits on the weapon's enhancements/abilities/special materials altogether because it's only affecting one weapon at a time and it would keep the scabbard from becoming a factory for a specific kind of weapon.
I was definitely of the opinion that only judges would be commenting on the items in the other thread, though obviously everyone else can post in it. And since it's six pages long already, I see no reason why we shouldn't have fun here too... therefore, again I present to you my latest creation. Enjoy.
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Stump Dust
Aura: moderate enchantment. CL: 8th. Slot: None. Price: 1600 gp. Weight: 1/4 ounce per use.
Description:
This heavy ochre dust is harvested from the rotting stumps of ancient, magical trees. One handful of stump dust will cover a 10x10 square foot area (sprayed or sprinkled), and if carefully sprinkled, it lasts one hour (though weather can remove it early at GM discretion). During that time, with a failed DC 20 Will save, anyone crossing the dust becomes completely uncertain whether or not he’s on the right path. Even if there is no choice of direction (the dust covers an area without any alternative routes), there is a 50% chance of the victims simply deciding to turn back.
When sprinkled at intersections with multiple choices of route, the dust’s enchantment will force its victim to randomly choose a direction, no matter how familiar the way (his own home), or how urgent the need (chasing a just-fled rogue). Multiple victims can be sent in multiple wrong directions. If the dust is inhaled directly, the Will save DC increases to 25, and the victim becomes blissfully befuddled, unable to make up his mind about any decision for one hour, having a 50% chance per decision of making a wrong choice. Additionally, the victim has a -1 penalty to all skill and ability checks. He can, however, defend himself normally. Unfortunately, stump dust does not make a very effective “inhaled poison” because it settles to the ground within one round after spraying. If anyone inhales it (and fails his Will save) during that one round, its power is exhausted, and the ground below is not enchanted.
Construction
Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, Profession: herbalism (4 ranks), or Knowledge: nature (7 ranks), confusion, misdirection. Cost: 800 gp per use.
Disordah: I like your scabbard of reforging quite a lot. Handy, fills a niche, helps players transform weapons they can't use. As a GM, I'd be careful how I brought it into my game, but overall, you've crafted something that isn't too game breaking.
I like that you put a lot of thought into that- considering how to limit the scabbard's power. I understood the "within one size category" limit right away. I also noted that you're going for an example of an item that comes in multiple forms. You use a medium longsword scabbard, you can only reforge weapons into medium longswords. Very good limitation. Of course, my GM is likely to only give us the scabbards for weapons we hate, like a tiny rapier version!
Mikael: good thoughts on how to improve the scabbard! I need guys like you around here to game with in person.
Stump Dust
Aura: moderate enchantment. CL: 8th. Slot: None. Price: 1600 gp. Weight: 1/4 ounce per use.
Description:
This heavy ochre dust is harvested from the rotting stumps of ancient, magical trees. One handful of stump dust will cover a 10x10 square foot area (sprayed or sprinkled), and if carefully sprinkled, it lasts one hour (though weather can remove it early at GM discretion). During that time, with a failed DC 20 Will save, anyone crossing the dust becomes completely uncertain whether or not he’s on the right path. Even if there is no choice of direction (the dust covers an area without any alternative routes), there is a 50% chance of the victims simply deciding to turn back.When sprinkled at intersections with multiple choices of route, the dust’s enchantment will force its victim to randomly choose a direction, no matter how familiar the way (his own home), or how urgent the need (chasing a just-fled rogue). Multiple victims can be sent in multiple wrong directions. If the dust is inhaled directly, the Will save DC increases to 25, and the victim becomes blissfully befuddled, unable to make up his mind about any decision for one hour, having a 50% chance per decision of making a wrong choice. Additionally, the victim has a -1 penalty to all skill and ability checks. He can, however, defend himself normally. Unfortunately, stump dust does not make a very effective “inhaled poison” because it settles to the ground within one round after spraying. If anyone inhales it (and fails his Will save) during that one round, its power is exhausted, and the ground below is not enchanted.
Construction...
-I really like this item and I'm saddened that it didn't make it into the Top 32. Some thoughts:
-I think the duration for its ground use may be too short to really be effective.
-Also, leaving the GM out of it and just saying something along the lines of "wind and inclement weather can disturb the dust" would have gotten the job done without "making GMing harder" (one of the auto-reject rules).
-For a wondrous item the Will save DC is really high, considering it's price, but it's such a great effect that I almost want it to always work . . . almost.
-The difference between spraying and sprinkling the dust onto the ground is confusing, especially since you can also have someone inhale it directly.
The design looks like it needs some focus to really bring it all together, but otherwise it's a great idea with a great name and a really fun set of effects. ^_^
Guess I might as well throw my hat into this area as well. Wouldn't hurt to see some more feedback after all. :)
Hammer of the Master Craftsman
Aura: moderate transmutation
CL: 9th
Slot: -
Price: 28,000gp
Weight: 2 lbs
Description:
The hammer normally appears much like a mundane hammer with Dwarven runes carved into its head. During the act of forging, these runes will glow white hot, even if the hammer itself is still cool.
When crafting a mundane item, or any item crafted using the Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Forge Ring, or Craft Wondrous Item feats, this hammer allows the user to complete his work much more quickly than normal.
While crafting (or repairing) a mundane item using the Hammer of the Master Craftsman, instead of comparing the craft check result (craft check times craft DC) against the item’s value in silver pieces, compare it against the item’s value in gold pieces to determine the amount of progress made.
When crafting an item with the Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Forge Ring, or Craft Wondrous Item feats while utilizing the Hammer of the Master Craftsman, crafting time is determined at a rate of 1 day per 5,000gp of the item’s value instead of 1 day per 1,000gp of the item’s value.
In addition to the above effects, this item may also be used as an improvised hammer in combat (use the stats for a light hammer). Instead of dealing damage, on a successful attack, the attacker may choose to impose the broken condition upon one piece of equipment currently being worn or wielded by the target. There is no save for this effect.
Construction:
Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, Fabricate, Crafter’s Curse (Advanced Player’s Guide)
Cost: 14,000gp
Hmm, okay, now I see where you're going and I still really like it, but I think then that the item may do too much. After all, the person for whom this would be most useful then would be a fighter whose either taken a specific weapon archetype (eg. Two-Handed Fighter) or a character that has simply pumped a bunch of feats into a single weapon style.
Might I suggest then, that the scabbard can accommodate any kind of weapon of any size, but can only maintain the transformation of one weapon at a time? The weapon that gets placed into the scabbard would thus get "attuned" to it and would become the specific size category and weapon type that the scabbard is designed for. Then, if you find a new better weapon, just switch it out with the old one, which would then revert to its original size and form.
You could probably remove the CL limits on the weapon's enhancements/abilities/special materials altogether because it's only affecting one weapon at a time and it would keep the scabbard from becoming a factory for a specific kind of weapon.
Thanks for the suggestions mate, I'll keep them in mind for next time. ;)
Personally, I don't see anything wrong with a warrior using the scabbard to reproduce weapons ideal for his combat style. I thought about this, but such an exploit can already be done with the Leadership feat (create a cohort with item-creation feats). Besides, a fighter is nothing without a weapon appropriate for their combat style; I actually had to run through the end of the RotRL campaign with a fighter/barbarian that was unable to use his weapon of choice and if it weren't for Rage, I would have been near-useless. GM's who exploit this weakness without giving the fighter a chance to re-equip are just plain mean! :D
The real exploit with this scabbard could have been with reforging weapons with Vorpal or Brilliant Energy enchantments, Luck Blades, Holy Avengers, intelligent items and the likes, which is why I came up with the CL restriction. Essentially your limited to Enhancement bonuses, energy damage, Bane, Alignments and other such minor enchantments. Such weapons are always useful, but aren't too powerful.
Thanks for the suggestions mate, I'll keep them in mind for next time. ;)
Personally, I don't see anything wrong with a warrior using the scabbard to reproduce weapons ideal for his combat style. I thought about this, but such an exploit can already be done with the Leadership feat (create a cohort with item-creation feats). Besides, a fighter is nothing without a weapon appropriate for their combat style; I actually had to run through the end of the RotRL campaign with a fighter/barbarian that was unable to use his weapon of choice and if it weren't for Rage, I would have been near-useless. GM's who exploit this weakness without giving the fighter a chance to re-equip are just plain mean! :D
The real exploit with this scabbard could have been with reforging weapons with Vorpal or Brilliant Energy enchantments, Luck Blades, Holy Avengers, intelligent items and the likes, which is why I came up with the CL restriction....
I'm in total agreement, which leads me to believe I didn't quite make myself clear before, so I'll give an example to explain what changes could be made to the item to make it do something equally cool with fewer words:
So yeah, that's what I meant earlier with a possible interpretation of the same basic mechanic. Loot is loot, this just makes it more viable from the get-go.
Thanks, Mikael! My comments are under a spoiler below to save space on the thread.
-I really like this item and I'm saddened that it didn't make it into the Top 32. Some thoughts:
-I think the duration for its ground use may be too short to really be effective.
Also, leaving the GM out of it and just saying something along the lines of "wind and inclement weather can disturb the dust" would have gotten the job done without "making GMing harder" (one of the auto-reject rules).
-For a wondrous item the Will save DC is really high, considering it's price, but it's such a great effect that I almost want it to always work . . . almost.
-The difference between spraying and sprinkling the dust onto the ground is confusing, especially since you can also have someone inhale it directly.
The design looks like it needs some focus to really bring it all together, but otherwise it's a great idea with a great name and a really fun set of effects.
First off, thank you for taking the time to review my item, it's much appreciated! Now let me address your concerns in detail:
The duration- one hour seemed plenty long enough to me, considering I intended its main use to be for people trying to throw off hot pursuit, as in a thief escaping from a just burgled merchant. When I played my Robin Hood-esque Ranger, I was always covering the party's tracks. That took a while, and theoretically lasts indefinitely. This was a quicker magical way of doing the same thing. Also, I see now that I should have squeezed in that "carefully sprinkling" the dust requires one whole round to do.
The GM call- yes, you're right, and it's something I should avoid considering the auto-reject rules (I was more worried about the auto-reject on random effect items, though). However, I didn't have room to say much more and I think random weather patterns are going to need a GM's adjudication anyway ;-) ... also, someone aware of the dust might wish to use gust of wind or some similar spell to disperse the dust. Which would work to my mind, nothing holds the dust to the ground magically, nor does the effect transmute the ground, etc.
The Will save DC- high yes indeed. I hate magic items that high level characters just laugh off. I want items to stay useful as long as possible. The dust was mainly intended to help thieves rob wizards and the like, so I wanted as high a DC as I could get away with (pun certainly intended!). Honestly, though, look at the bonuses for Will saves for just a 8th level wizard (same as my item's CL). His base save is 6, if he has a minimal bonus to his Wisdom (say, +1), that's a +7 to his save, not including any magic buffs he may have. Add in the roll result, and he can hardly fail to hit a 20, on average. Don't forget, all natural 20s succeed automatically too.
Spraying vs. sprinkling- Dusts can be sprinkled by hand, or blown into the air via a small blow tube specially made for the purpose, or with a gust of wind spell or the like. (You definitely want to be sure it can't blow back and affect you, so spraying is surely the more dangerous of the two methods.) Inhaling it directly could happen in one of two ways- either you trick someone into snorting it (fat chance) or you spray it at them in a direct attack, which is what the last bit of my description is meant to cover (again, pun intended!). If they saw it coming they could potentially hold their breath and avoid the Will save. (Yes, this is heavy GM adjudicating again.)
Also, I'm really pleased you like the name- I was worried it was too simple, though _I_ think it fits well what the item does, without being too comical. I was trying for as generic an item as possible, rather than going for a Golarion-themed one.
I hope that clears up what I intended with my stump dust for you. Thanks so much for your kind remarks, and please, feel free to use the item, modified as you wish, in your own game.
Gloves of Elongation
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot hands; Price 36,000 gp; Weight —
Description
These black rubbery gloves stretch snugly over the wearer’s hands and arms. Five rounds per day, as a move action, the wearer may extend their arms 30 feet (up to a maximum of 60 feet). These rounds need not be consecutive.
The stretched appendages must pass through any intervening space and are subject to attacks of opportunity using the wearer’s armor class. If anyone attacks the outstretched arms they are treated as if they had DR 5/slashing, and the arms automatically retract if they suffer 10 points of damage (damage does not deplete the wearer’s actual hit points).
With stretched appendages, the wearer may utilize attacks, the combat maneuvers: grapple, pull, push, and steal, and if trained, the skills Disable Device or Sleight of Hand. However, for every 10 feet of stretching, the wearer suffers a -1 penalty on their die roll. If the wearer grapples an adjacent opponent, they instead gain a +1 bonus on grapple checks for every 10 feet extended. For the purposes of the pull and push abilities, the wearer may manipulate a target 30 feet affecting creatures up to its size.
Finally, the wearer may snap themselves towards their outstretched hands and cover any intervening distance as a standard action. The wearer immediately stops, and their appendages retract if the movement would cause them to strike a solid object or creature.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, enlarge person, telekinesis; Cost 18,000 gp
Some feedback on Gloves of Elongation
The first paragraph could have been structured slightly better (and I'm probably being pedantic, but I'm not sure 'rubber' really features in Fantasy settings; perhaps a more archaic description would have been better?) and while you've described them as having a reach of 30 feet, you've gone on to mention up to 60 feet. Were you trying to impose a minimum of 30 feet? Either way, I think you went a bit too far (pardon the pun).
Having the outstretched arms work differently to normal reach rules probably didn't do you any good. It would have been much simpler to simply have them modify the wearer's effective reach. having them take damage that doesn't apply to the wearer just isn't consistent with the core rules of reach.
There are also issues relating to exploits; casters could use these to apply melee touch attacks to just about anywhere in the vicinity of combat. As an example, if clerics didn't have to be adjacent to the warriors to heal them, combat would become too easy.
Finally, the secondary effect is vague; how far exactly is the wearer able to vault themselves? Is there a bonus to acrobatics/jump checks? If the wearer slammed into a solid object along the way, why would they have been able to attempt it in the first place?
Overall it's not a bad idea (although it reminds me of a certain anime cartoon...), but I think the effective reach could have been reduced (15 feet instead maybe?) and the mechanics could have been made much simpler by utilizing existing rules. Your writing style could also use a bit of work, as your descriptions and sentence structures could have been better. Look at how they're structured in the official rule books and practice writing in a similar fashion.
RPG Superstar 2010 Top 32
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I'll throw my item into the mix here as well as in the judges' feedback thread. And I'll hopefully have time during work today to come through and give my comments on some of the items.
Stygian Seal of Blasphemy
Aura moderate evocation and necromancy [evil]; CL 7th
Slot none; Price 6,250 gp; Weight 1/2 lb.
Description
When this candle is lit, the wick writhes like a serpent in the hissing emerald fire, shining with the properties of continual flame for 4 hours. The unholy flame is a burning shrine to Asmodeus, creating a 40’ radius zone of corruption. Within this zone, devils gain a +2 profane bonus on attack rolls, damage rolls, and saving throws. Devils summoned into the zone gain +2 hit points per HD. If the light is covered, dispelled, or consecrated, the zone of corruption is suppressed.
The flame shines with blasphemous light. Profane wax inscribed with the seal of Asmodeus instantly forms around all holy symbols brought into the zone of corruption, even if the symbols are concealed. This wax seal suppresses all divine spells and abilities that require a holy symbol, unless the symbol’s owner worships Asmodeus. The blasphemous seal persists if the symbol is taken out of the zone of corruption, or the zone is suppressed.
As a standard action, a character may grasp the corrupted symbol with a bare hand and remove the blasphemous seal. Grasping the seal draws the corruption into the flesh, and diabolical venom courses through the target’s body with the effects of the poison spell (Fortitude DC 17 negates). If the holy symbol is within the zone of corruption, the seal instantly reforms.
When the flame dies, the candle loses all magical properties, the corrupt zone vanishes, and the blasphemous seals melt away from all holy symbols as harmless black oil.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, continual flame, desecrate, poison, creator must worship Asmodeus; Cost 3,125 gp
And, as a bonus, here's an earlier version of the item that was significantly different:
Stygian Decanter
Aura moderate transmutation and divination; CL 7th
Slot --; Price 22,000 gp; Weight 2 lb. (empty)
Description This crystal decanter is etched with five intertwining serpents that shimmer with a green tint in sunlight. When liquid is poured from the decanter, it becomes a sweet magical potion that grants a +5 competence bonus on Bluff checks for 1 hour after being consumed.
If a creature tells a lie within 1 hour of drinking the potion, however, the ingested potion transforms into a cloying poison. Serpentine words writhe across the creature’s skin, inscribing the lies on flesh in Infernal, and the creature becomes sickened for 1 hour, or until the affliction ends. The diabolical venom deals 1d3 Constitution damage per round for 6 rounds as it courses through the creature’s body. Poisoned creatures can make a DC 17 Fortitude save each round to negate the damage and end the affliction.
Draughts from the stygian decanter are not magically detectable as poisonous until a lie transforms the ingested potion, but the poison can be delayed or neutralized normally. The stygian decanter can be used once per day and holds enough liquid for up to 8 potions, which become inert after 1 day.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, brand, discern lies, poison; Cost 11,000 gp
Posting here for the purpose of broader discussion than I want to have in the judge-focused feedback thread.
Aura strong enchantment; CL 15th
Slot --; Price 6,000 gp; Weight --
This platinum coin bears an engraving of balanced scales crossed by a feather quill. Both its faces are identical - down to the smallest nicks and scratches. This coin offers an exchange both eminently fair and inescapably perilous; it can purchase things no mere currency can, and exact payment more dear than gold.
The coin is used by giving it to another, in gift or trade. The giver may activate the coin to make a demand of the receiver (as the spell; Will DC 22 partially negates). Once the demand effect ends (or is negated), a whispered voice echoes through the receiver's mind, repeating the words of the giver's demand and compelling him (as a suggestion) to set them in writing, in his own hand and on whatever surface he chooses (no save; 15 hour duration).
If the receiver fulfills this suggestion, then in the following week he may issue a demand of his own to the giver (as the spell; Will DC 22 partially negates) by writing its words beneath his transcription of the giver's demand.
All the effects above are activated by the initial transaction, and do not require the receiver's continued possession of the coin. The coin cannot be activated again until the effect of the receiver's demand ends (or is negated). If for any reason the receiver does not or cannot issue a demand within the allotted week, the coin can never be activated again.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, demand; Cost 3,000 gp
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The plot twist it creates - "get something very powerful now; tomorrow somebody'll be able to mess you up good" - would fit a lot of different situations, and could be very interesting depending on the party's situation and who the NPC given the coin would be. I see this item being saved for a moment of sheer desperation, and then having the whole party waiting in dread for the other shoe to drop.
Is this something you think comes across well in the original description? Or is that not an impression you got particularly strongly from the entry itself?
Opinions on plot-devices as wondrous items are also gleefully solicited :D
I've already got a judging summary from SKR and an in-depth critique from Neil.
Show no mercy. :)
Yoinked over here from a post on the judges' thread:
I can see this item being made; just not by either of the two users.
A crime lord, a fiend, or demigod of anarchy, could see this as a means to set two noble families, merchant houses or guilds against each other.But that relies on the initial user being unaware of the reciprocal nature of the item. No-one will create this to use themselves, only as a trap to lure those too greedy for their own good.
Once Stooge No 1 has milked his rival for whatever he can get, the word 'slips' out about the curse of the coin. The two rivals throw their militias at each other, one to force a showdown, the other to prevent one. Assassins are hired to murder their opposite number, or in a futile bid to steal the coin back before it 'recharges'.
That's an interesting take on it (and it fits well with my reconsideration of the item as a cursed item - tricking others into using cursed items is classic). But I think it's not as unreasonable as you think for somebody to create one of these - it just won't be an adventurer.
What the coin does is enforces contracts. They can be very unusual contracts, but contracts nonetheless. That's what I was aiming for with the opening flavor text:
This coin offers an exchange both eminently fair and inescapably perilous; it can purchase things no mere currency can, and exact payment more dear than gold.
My original attempts at the opening described wary negotiators and bargaining merchants, and also invoked fae contracts, which were really the inspiration for the whole piece - things like, "Yes, mortal, we shall shake hands, and I will win you the heart of your beloved, and you, in return, must never skip stones in the pond when a robin is singing." (I took all that out because it was obvious it would never be used in-game in that fashion, and one or two friends thought negotiation and contracts were meant to be the item's focus.)
Anybody who would hammer out a convoluted contract, and try to sneak in as many loopholes in it as possible, would probably love to have a reciprocity coin, knowing full-well what it does, and with the other side of the deal knowing as well. It's got a place in the game world; there are those who would knowingly create and obtain these. Just... not adventurers.
So, yes, it's a plot device. An interesting one, but still a plot device. No-one will buy one or craft one for their own use.
Agreed, entirely. I just think plot devices are a lot of fun. They've got dramatic potential - and what I really liked about this one is that it's a very generic one, which I think could slip very easily into pretty much any game with a significant amount of focus on roleplay encounters.
Neil addressed this, and I certainly see that A) this isn't appropriate for a lot of play styles, and B) this really isn't the type of thing RPGSS is looking for. When I wrote it, I didn't think of "would a PC buy or craft one for their own use" - the answer was obviously no. I thought "would a player have fun with this if he got one" - well, my answer was yes, but I'd love to hear from others as well.
If you please, and with much appreciation:
Haunt-Clad Shroud
Aura strong necromancy [evil]; CL 17th
Slot chest; Price 18000 gp; Weight -
Description
The spirits trapped within these foul rags thirst for fear. They impose their spectral bodies on any who attack the wearer without firm resolve. When worn the item grants a deflection bonus to AC equal to the wearer's Charisma modifier provided that the attacker is shaken.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, soul bind; Cost 9000 gp
Told you I'd look you up :)
Stump Dust
This heavy ochre dust is harvested from the rotting stumps of ancient, magical trees.
I think this pun is taking it a bit too far - the only reason you're telling us this, and that you've decided on this particular detail, is to enable the pun. For shame, Keith - for shame.
During that time, with a failed DC 20 Will save, anyone crossing the dust becomes completely uncertain whether or not he’s on the right path. Even if there is no choice of direction (the dust covers an area without any alternative routes), there is a 50% chance of the victims simply deciding to turn back.
When sprinkled at intersections with multiple choices of route, the dust’s enchantment will force its victim to randomly choose a direction,
I really like this effect. It's cool. It sounds entirely doable, and yet very amusing. ("Where did that mad monk wind up?" "Well, let's see - (dice roll) - whoops, he's running through the kitchens again.") That's really nice - it's roguish and rascally, i.e. nice flavor, and extremely useful (in certain, specific situations).
I'm not much good with ranges - is 10x10 enough to sprinkle around an entire intersection? Do I need to cover the whole intersection, or just somewhere in the vicinity of one, and if he passes through he considers all available exits? The short range makes me think some delicate fine-tuning to figure out how this really works if you only sprinkle some of an intersection, and how close to which of its exits you need to be...
Multiple victims can be sent in multiple wrong directions.
Good attention to detail! That's important, and wouldn't have been clear without this line.
If the dust is inhaled directly, the Will save DC increases to 25, and the victim becomes blissfully befuddled, unable to make up his mind about any decision for one hour, having a 50% chance per decision of making a wrong choice.
Ah, there's a use #2. That's an interesting alternate use, but you might have been better served to keep it simple.
- It's not clear whether the Will DC rises for finding your way in the corridors ("the Will save DC increases"), or for becoming befuddled in the first place.
- "Any decision" is very vague. Is breathing a decision? Can he eat lunch, or can he not decide between the fork and the spoon? I think this lack-of-definition trips you up somewhat.
- Consider using the Confused state, or at least looking at some appropriate states and seeing what they address to define confusion and random choice-making.
Unfortunately, stump dust does not make a very effective “inhaled poison” because it settles to the ground within one round after spraying. If anyone inhales it (and fails his Will save) during that one round, its power is exhausted, and the ground below is not enchanted.
This paragraph is a bit confusing. At first, I was reading the second sentence as an explanation of the first - I read "effective" as addressing the strength/potency of the effects, and couldn't understand why it matters when the dust settles if I've already inhaled it. In addition, it feels broken for the ground to be enchanted if the target makes his will save, and otherwise it isn't. He's not going to suck up a whole dust cloud; either it reaches the ground still powered-up or it doesn't. It certainly shouldn't make a difference to the dust whether it reaches the ground after being inhaled + successful Will save, or after being inhaled + failed Will save.
Also submitted for judge's critique on their thread, I'm putting it here for general commentary.
Paranoid Charm
Here's my input:
1: You've created an item with an effect that can be activated once per day and lasts 24 hours... Do you see what's wrong with this? The effect would work much better as a constant effect.2: This is a swiss-army-amulet; you've got the choice of an AC buff and two types of damage absorption. From what I've come to understand, this is grounds for immediate dismissal in the Superstar comp. In addition, the damage absorption isn't described very well and appears to work on damage that had been received prior to equipping the amulet, or in other words, a form of healing. Instead, it should only apply to incoming damage (see the Scarab of Protection for a great example). You also didn't designate a type of AC bonus; is it a Natural Armour bonus, an Enhancement bonus, a Dodge bonus, a Shield bonus...?
3: The cost is way too low. An Amulet of Natural Armour +4 has a cost of 32,000gp. Try comparing the cost of your items to existing ones and double check the magic item creation guidelines to ensure you get a genuine, approximate value.
I loved your initial description of the item though ("This amulet is crafted in gold, often in the form of a humanoid face bearing a pained expression..."). It is short, sweet and descriptive. Well done :)
Thanks for the feedback, disordah;
Allow me to clarify, knowing full well that, at this point, it's just academic:
1) Activate once/day and a 24-hour duration does not imply that it's always activated; it only means that it can be activated once every 24 hours at the earliest. There may be times that it may go days or weeks without being activated; the item description outlines that. It cannot be a constant effect because the effect may vary and is dependent on the condition of its activation, based on the item description.
2) No, you do not have a choice in the type of protection it activates, because the activation parameter is not set by you, but your attacker. If Neil calls it out as a SAK, I'll take it. Yes, it activates on prior damage - it does not heal anything; it offers protection only from future damage, starting after activation.
3) An Amulet of Natural Armour +4 is always on; the Paranoid Charm is only on for 24 hours. I suspect that the duration sank this item in the eyes of the judges.
I nerfed the protections by limiting its duration, the user's lack of choice in determining what type of protection, and the requirement that the user suffer damage prior to activation.
I concede the bonus vs. cost comparison compared to the Amulet of Natural Armor; I failed to research similar items enough and was basing the effect on comparative spells, not items.
Thanks for helping me polish this first ever entry; this might be back for 2012, depending on what Neil posts about it!
In reply to Standback:
Told you I'd look you up :)
And I _quite_ appreciate it! Thank you for your thoughtful review.
This heavy ochre dust is harvested from the rotting stumps of ancient, magical trees.
I think this pun is taking it a bit too far - the only reason you're telling us this, and that you've decided on this particular detail, is to enable the pun. For shame, Keith - for shame.
Actually, though I would not deny the pun was there- the idea here was to make it more do-able by druids, herbalists, and witches. (See the requirements.) The genesis of the item is the real-world wiccan/pagan item called "goofer dust" said to throw metaphysical monkey wrenches in your opponents' way.
I really like this effect. It's cool. It sounds entirely doable, and yet very amusing. ("Where did that mad monk wind up?" "Well, let's see - (dice roll) - whoops, he's running through the kitchens again.") That's really nice - it's roguish and rascally, i.e. nice flavor, and extremely useful (in certain, specific situations).
Glad you like it- and especially that you don't seem to have a problem with the "random factor"- I was really afraid that it crossed the line with the Random auto-reject rule.
I'm not much good with ranges - is 10x10 enough to sprinkle around an entire intersection? Do I need to cover the whole intersection, or just somewhere in the vicinity of one, and if he passes through he considers all available exits? The short range makes me think some delicate fine-tuning to figure out how this really works if you only sprinkle some of an intersection, and how close to which of its exits you need to be...
10x10 is 100 square feet (two squares in Pathfinder). It's not a huge area, but it's definitely not small. Consider that most dungeon corridors are only 5 feet wide, and that's wider than most modern homes' hallway width (typically four feet). (And there's nothing in my text to suggest that you're restricted to ONLY 10x10- the area is shapeable, as long as the victim steps with both feet into the dusted area, he has to make the Will save!)
I believe you're over thinking this- the item's purpose is NOT to cover the entire intersection (you're not enchanting the intersection itself), rather you're laying a magical trap for whoever happens to step inside the area of the dust.
Multiple victims can be sent in multiple wrong directions.
Good attention to detail! That's important, and wouldn't have been clear without this line.
Thanks! That indeed was something I saw I needed to address in my later drafts (would you believe this went through about 4 major drafts- and I still see a couple things I'd add?! See the reply I made to Mikael under a spoiler above.)
It's not clear whether the Will DC rises for finding your way in the corridors ("the Will save DC increases"), or for becoming befuddled in the first place.
"Any decision" is very vague. Is breathing a decision? Can he eat lunch, or can he not decide between the fork and the spoon? I think this lack-of-definition trips you up somewhat.
Consider using the Confused state, or at least looking at some appropriate states and seeing what they address to define confusion and random choice-making.
I'm sorry it's not clear to you (it is clear to me, of course). This shows me I need to improve the articulation of my writing skills before next year's contest. To be as clear as possible, there's only going be one Will save per victim needed, the DC is only different depending on how the dust enters the victim: i.e. walks over it = DC 20; inhaled directly = DC 25. NO further saves needed after that!
Is breathing a decision? hah! Only if you're committing suicide by drowning! Maybe a bit of additional wording making it clear that it's only decisions that a person would normally have to put some thought into, not simple decisions like eating salad or turkey for lunch, or using a fork or a spoon.
This function was intended more for the more devious thief or even spy/assassin (whose job, contrary to popular conception, is NOT always to simply kill their victim, rather it's to neutralize their effectiveness, or to throw them off in some subtle way. The history of the CIA is particularly enlightening in this regard...!) who needs to bamboozle some high level character, particularly those with a high Will save bonus.
Oh, I did indeed read over (agonize over is more accurate) the confused state. To be blunt, I hate it. Only four options, and one is act normally. The last two are what I definitely did NOT want for this more subtle magic item. Become a crazed masochist, or a crazed sadist- nope, uh-uh, not for me, not my PCs, not ever. I should totally re-write the confused state (and spell) for my campaign. I just pulled out my old 1st ed PHB- and this spell/state is one that's almost exactly imported (down through the ages!) from it. Enough said... it's long overdue for an upgrade!
Unfortunately, stump dust does not make a very effective “inhaled poison” because it settles to the ground within one round after spraying. If anyone inhales it (and fails his Will save) during that one round, its power is exhausted, and the ground below is not enchanted.This paragraph is a bit confusing. At first, I was reading the second sentence as an explanation of the first - I read "effective" as addressing the strength/potency of the effects, and couldn't understand why it matters when the dust settles if I've already inhaled it. In addition, it feels broken for the ground to be enchanted if the target makes his will save, and otherwise it isn't. He's not going to suck up a whole dust cloud; either it reaches the ground still powered-up or it doesn't. It certainly shouldn't make a difference to the dust whether it reaches the ground after being inhaled + successful Will save, or after being inhaled + failed Will save.
I guess I definitely need to re-write that paragraph... I see that it seems a victim would have to make two saves in a sprayed-as-a-direct-attack situation: one if he happened to inhale it (which is not a given; if he saw it coming, he could hold his breath), and a second (at the lower DC) for walking out of the area over the dust. Maybe some GMs would like that extra chance of bamboozling characters (certainly PCs wouldn't mind it against opponents!), but it needs to be made clear, one way or another.
And as I said to Mikael, I need to add that "carefully sprinkling" the dust is certainly a full round action.
Thanks again for all your support and advice!
Wow, so the judges gave me some really in-depth and helpful critiques for my item. I invite y'all to do the same:
Amulet of Reverse Incantation
Aura faint abjuration; CL 5th
Slot neck; Price 16,200 gp; Weight —
Description
Suspended on this amulet’s delicate silver chain is an ivory cameo of a bearded, old wizard with identical faces on either side of his head. Three times per day, the amulet allows its wearer to recite spells with verbal components backwards and achieve a reverse effect, under the following circumstances:
Diametric Effect: If the wearer casts a spell that can counter or dispel another specific spell, he may activate the amulet to spontaneously convert the spell being cast into the spell which it specifically counters (for example, haste would be converted into slow).
Bonus/Penalty: If the wearer casts a spell that grants a bonus or penalty, he may activate the amulet so that a bonus-granting spell instead incurs an equal penalty and vice versa (for example, bull’s strength would incur a -4 penalty instead of granting a +4 bonus to Strength). A spell that consequently incurs a penalty instead of a bonus is no longer considered harmless (if it ever was). When used this way, the amulet cannot affect spells that have a permanent duration.
Cure/Inflict Spell: Lastly, if the wearer casts a cure or inflict spell, she may activate the amulet to spontaneously convert the spell being cast into the other type of the same spell level (for example, cure moderate wounds would be converted into inflict moderate wounds).
Activating the amulet is a free action.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, tongues, dispel magic; Cost 8,100 gp
Wow, Mikael! That's not only a nifty amulet, it's almost exactly where I was going with my new metamagic feat, Reverse Spell. (An attempt to bring back the old idea of reversible spells from 1st-2nd ed.) I'm assuming the effect is continuous, always on? (Aka unlimited uses/day?) I'll have to price it to double-check your figures.
Seems like the effect would be closer to evocation than abjuration, but that's a minor quibble. And maybe moderate would be better than faint.
Great work with both concept and mechanics! *wanders over to the judges' thread*
Dedicated Voter Season 6
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Searing Vestment of the Dawnflower
Aura moderate conjuration and evocation; CL 11th
Slot body; Price 68,000 gp; Weight 6 lbs.
Description
Decorated with red and golden suns, this long, white chasuble glows brilliantly.
Upon donning the searing vestment of the Dawnflower, the wearer immediately surrounds herself with a 40-foot radius, golden-red nimbus that otherwise works as continual flame. If the wearer removes the garment, the illumination extinguishes.
Additionally, once per day, the wearer may activate the searing vestment of the Dawnflower and cause the sun-like corona to implode, transforming her into a fiery ray of sunlight. The ray then fires forth as per searing light. If the distance to the target is no more than 60 feet and the attack is successful the target becomes unbalanced, allowing the wearer to make a trip attack using the damage done as her Combat Maneuver Bonus. After resolving the attack, the wearer will then reappear behind and adjacent to the target. If the ranged touch attack misses, use the splash weapon rules to determine where the wearer reappears, assuming a range increment of 10 feet. The movement in the form of the searing light ray and trip attack do not provoke attacks of opportunity.
Once this special attack has been resolved, the illumination reappears for 10 rounds, then immediately ceases and cannot be reignited until any time after the break of the next dawn.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Improved Trip, Widen Spell, continual flame, dimension door, searing light; Cost 34,000 gp
I find that my item has a pretty significant similarity (spell attack = movement) to the Iron Bands of the Blue Dragon. I just hope that my item had enough chops in the judges eyes that they were torn between the two and ultimately chose the bands instead of this vestment. If not, oh well I guess, back to the drawing board!
In any case, I have a feel there are three flaws in my item that may have proved to be fatal. I’d be curious to see if the judges agree with me.
1) That the damage done equals the CMB may have turned them off the item altogether from a mechanical standpoint.
2) The pricing was pretty high for essentially an everburning torch and a one shot searing light/move/trip attack.
3) The fact that I used dimension door instead of teleport as a required spell and didn’t indicate any disorientation after reappearing while still allowing the trip attack if within 60 feet.
After receiving the judges feedback, I realized that the italicized item description was a huge no-no, and actually probably the main reason it was rejected. The pricing didn’t seem to be much of an issue, but the damage as CMB and the splash rules were looked at as odd or bad design choices.
Thanks for your comments and consideration!
Here's mine. I'll take a swing at some of the new ones that get posted here, unless I backtrack and see some that haven't been covered already.
Nexus of Blessed Mists
Aura faint conjuration and transmutation; CL 5th
Slot --; Price 22,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
This mace-like aspergillum is about 8 inches long and is often crafted of brass and silver. Its mundane usage is to sprinkle holy water upon the faithful or wicked through its hollow, perforated head.
When filled with a vial of holy water, a nexus of blessed mists can be used as a holy symbol to channel positive energy that harms undead. This channeling creates a cloud of fog as an obscuring mist spell. However, these blessed mists are composed entirely of holy water and positive energy.
Undead caught within this cloud take damage per the wielder’s normal channeling effect (Will half, same DC as normal channeling). Other creatures susceptible to damage from holy water, such as evil outsiders, take half this damage and may halve it further with a successful Will save. Creatures that fail their Will save become shaken for as long as they remain in the mists.
Creatures damaged by holy water take 1d6 points of damage per round after the first. Each such creature that enters the area after the initial effect must also make a Will save at the wielder's channeling DC or become shaken. The mists last for 5 rounds.
Filling a nexus is a standard action that provokes attacks of opportunity. It may be filled before needed and stored upright to prevent spillage. If the carrier becomes prone or held upside down for more than 1 round enough holy water will leak out to require refilling before use.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, bless water, obscuring mist, creator must be able to channel positive energy; Cost 11,000 gp
OK, Ill drop mine in for you guys to tell me what you think. I thought I had a shot with this, but I guess not...lol
Eyes of the Past
Aura moderate divination; CL 13th
Slot eyes; Price 93,600 gp; Weight —
Description
These seemingly simple eyeglasses look and functions like any other pair until activated. Once the command word is spoken, the wearer can see into the recent past. The viewer can only see the events within the area being observed and within their line of sight. The user decides how far back in time to start the vision in five-minute increments up to 15 minutes maximum with one lens, 30 minutes for both.
Once the user selects when to start the vision, it begins in the area being viewed and continues forward in time to the moment of activation. The viewer can move in any direction to see the area as desired. They can see how many individuals where in the area, what they were doing or read anything that an individual may have written or read. The viewer can fast forward through the vision as they need but cannot rewind or stop the vision to try and see something that they may have missed or see anything that was invisible or hidden from view. To deactivate the glasses, the viewer need just remove them. The viewer cannot cast spells or engage in combat while the glasses are activated do to the concentration needed to see the vision.
These glasses function once per day, any attempt to use them beyond this limit destroys the lenses. If the area being viewed was naturally dark, they cannot make out any details beyond a 10-foot radius centered on wearer. If the area was magically dark or protected from scrying during the time being observed, the glasses do not function but still counts as its daily use.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, clairaudience/clairvoyance, vision; Cost 46,800 gp
Hammer of the Master Craftsman
I think this one may have been skipped over.
Waving aside the formatting issues, I'm just not sure about this at all. Making the physical item is generally not a part of the crafting process.
Accelerating crafting magic items by a factor of 5 seems like a lot. Now you're pumping out a +2 headband or a Type II bag every day. That's the start of a nice little business.
I'm also not sure how a hammer helps you craft a pearl of power or one of the books. I guess you'd need to adjudicate which items this could be used for on a case-by-case basis, or just hand-wave it and let it work for anything.
The breaking aspect is kind of interesting, but now you're skating close to the line of wondrous item / weapon.
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(Also posted in the Judges thread, but here for your fine minds, this is the finalised version)
Seekers Eye
Aura Strong Divination; CL 12th
Slot Eyes; Price 54,000 gp; Weight ---
Description
The Seekers Eye is a crystal lens which hovers in place half an inch from the wearers left eye. The lens has 5 charges, which renew 24 hours after the first charge was used, and can confer the following benefits.
As long has the eye has at least one charge remaining, the wearer receives a +2 insight bonus on reflex saves, as long as he can see the source of it.
As a swift action, the wearer of a Seekers eye can expend a charge to receive one of the following benefits:-
Expose Weakness:- Casting its gaze swiftly over its target, the Seekers Eye reveals the weakest spots in your opponents defences. Choose a target within 20ft. Until the end of your next turn, any shield or armour bonuses that opponent normally receives are halved on all attacks you make against them.
Follow Movement:- The Seekers Eye tracks the movements of its target, allowing you to guess with ease where your opponent will be when you strike. Choose a target within 20ft. Until the end of your next turn, that target is denied his dexterity bonus to his AC. This ability does also allow additional precision based damage (such as a rogues sneak attack) to its target.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Analyze Dweomer, Detect Thoughts, True Seeing Cost 27,000 gp
I have already spotted two issues with it(a Aura faint necromantic should be aura faint necromancy, and b, Cost 5000 gp should be Cost 5,000 gp), but further feed back would be welcome.
Hungry Ghost Mask
Aura faint necromantic; CL 5th
Slot head; Price 10,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
Finely crafted from greenish-white porcelain, this example of a Hungry Ghost Mask is in the image of a Jiang Shi, one of the many exotic horrors of Tian Xia. Dots of seemingly ancient blood fleck the mouth of the mask as though, in antiquity, the fine spray from a wound covered the mask. It would appear that no one has cleaned it since.
When worn, the mask has a malign influence on the open wounds of those nearby. Once per day, as a swift action, the mask’s wearer may take a deep breath, activating the mask. This causes spilled blood within 30’ of the wearer to become a red mist that flows to the mouth of the mask. The bloody vapor then burns away, granting the wearer a profane and hollow semblance of health.
Everyone suffering from bleed damage within the mask’s area of effect loses hit points equal to the wearer’s Con bonus (Fort DC 14 halves). The mask’s wearer gains a number of temporary hit points equal to the combined damage caused by the effect.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, vampiric touch; Cost 5000 gp
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Already got the judges' imput so I know what the major issues are but since everyone is in the mood to review I figure it couldn't hurt to get more opinions. Although I'm sure there's only so many ways you can say "broken"... :)
Thanks in advance and I will try to post some responses to others' items asap.
Aura strong illusion; CL 13th
Slot —; Price 98,000 gp; Weight 3 lbs.
This hand-held apparatus is a cold iron crossbar ringed by a circle of carved ivory. From one side extend five ghostly cords that hang taut before fading into nothingness. As a standard action, the wielder can make a ranged touch attack against a single humanoid target within 100 feet. On a successful attack, the target gains the entangled condition as shadowy ligatures lash out and coil themselves around the creature’s neck, wrists, and ankles. The wielder can then force the target to act as his spell-casting surrogate.
Entangled creatures cannot move more than 100 feet from the wielder; removing or severing all five ligatures ends this restriction and the entangled condition. An entangled creature may burst or escape from a single ligature by making a DC 20 Strength or Escape Artist check. Any amount of slashing damage severs a ligature; each ligature is AC 20. The ligatures are made of shadow-stuff and if severed simply reform when the apparatus is used again to ensnare. The wielder can release an ensnared creature as a standard action.
The ligatures can ensnare a willing target. All the conditions above apply fully however, and opponents may attempt to target and sever the ligatures normally.
If the wielder chooses, any spell he casts with a range of touch or greater can be channeled through the ligatures. Melee touch spells cast in this manner always target the “surrogate” and do not require an attack roll. Spells of greater range (including ranged touch attacks) originate from the surrogate as if he were the caster, affecting targets normally. A maximum of 20 total spell levels may be channeled each day.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, project image, shadow conjuration; Cost 49,000 gp
Eyes of the Past
CL 13 should be putting this at strong divination, I think.
I'm not sure why the maximum that you can go back is different between one lens or two. Is there depth perception involved? That's one place this item could have been streamlined.
Not crazy about the use of modern-day terms like fast forward and rewind. There are some other issues like "eyeglasses look and functions" and "are activated do to the concentration"
I think the conditions placed on the user could be clearer. Just saying that the user can't cast spells or engage in combat seems a little over the top. You could maybe say that the user is flat-footed, perhaps?
Having the glasses go pouf if used twice in a day also seems odd. Just make them useable once per day. That should be sufficient.
There are sufficient rules on darkness. It seems like just using those and allowing the user to see in that darkness to the best of his ability would have been fine.
I do like that you pointed out the bit about magical darkness and scrying protection.
Despite everything above, I kinda like this. It allows super-limited time travel and generally isn't going to be a game-breaker.
Eyes of the PastCL 13 should be putting this at strong divination, I think.
I wanst sure either, I was under the impression lvl 15 and up was "strong".I'm not sure why the maximum that you can go back is different between one lens or two. Is there depth perception involved? That's one place this item could have been streamlined.
In my first draft, but I had cut for word count was that each lens can be used separately.
"A lens could be removed from the frame and given to another but only allows 15 minutes of use per lens".Not crazy about the use of modern-day terms like fast forward and rewind. There are some other issues like "eyeglasses look and functions" and "are activated do to the concentration"
Ya, I couldnt think of another way to state the effect. I figured I would be dinged for that but was hoping it could be overlooked due to "cool effect"....lolI think the conditions placed on the user could be clearer. Just saying that the user can't cast spells or engage in combat seems a little over the top. You could maybe say that the user is flat-footed, perhaps?
Again, more info cut from the first draft for word count...
"Do to the vision obscuring the users sight, they can not attack or cast spells until the lenses or removed. Removing of the lenses is an immediate Action".Having the glasses go pouf if used twice in a day also seems odd. Just make them useable once per day. That should be sufficient.
Ya, I didnt think of that until after I hit the submit button...:(There are sufficient rules on darkness. It seems like just using those and allowing the user to see in that darkness to the best of his ability would have been fine.
I did use the rules I thought?I do like that you pointed out the bit about magical darkness and scrying protection.
Again, that is part of the rules I thoughtDespite everything above, I kinda like this. It allows super-limited time travel and generally isn't going to be a game-breaker.
Thank you
Hammer of the Master CraftsmanI think this one may have been skipped over.
Waving aside the formatting issues, I'm just not sure about this at all. Making the physical item is generally not a part of the crafting process.
Accelerating crafting magic items by a factor of 5 seems like a lot. Now you're pumping out a +2 headband or a Type II bag every day. That's the start of a nice little business.
I'm also not sure how a hammer helps you craft a pearl of power or one of the books. I guess you'd need to adjudicate which items this could be used for on a case-by-case basis, or just hand-wave it and let it work for anything.
The breaking aspect is kind of interesting, but now you're skating close to the line of wondrous item / weapon.
Yeah, the formatting I realized I'd screwed up after I'd already submitted it due to forgetting about the need to include the proper HTML tags for a post.
As to the item itself, as I figured, it's main issue is that while it's 'nifty' it doesn't have enough "Ooomph" behind it. I suspect that'll be borne out in the judges feedback thread too once they finally get to me.
To indulge myself a bit in explaining myself:
1: I wasn't intending the speed-up of crafting mundane items to relate specifically to crafting wondrous items too, it's a separate ability, intended to be useful for crafting various items quickly and easily. Essentially a function of the item to make it also useful in the world at large.
2: I'll admit, I wasn't sure about the speeding up process myself either, but when I was considering the levels at which you'd gain access to the item, I didn't think it was that big of a concern. In addition, I was hoping to provide a means to deal with a (imo) common problem in many adventures, namely that there's not enough time for anyone who wants to be a crafter to effectively craft anything.
3: As for the breaking quality, I knew I was skirting a line there... just felt that the thematic tie was enough that I was hoping that it could be forgiven lol.
I think my biggest failing though was that I got too hung up in writing things using too many words. It could've definitely 'sung' more if I was a more skilled writer lol.
There are sufficient rules on darkness. It seems like just using those and allowing the user to see in that darkness to the best of his ability would have been fine.
I did use the rules I thought?
There's Bright Light, Normal Light, Dim Light, and Darkness, each of which has its own game effects. In Darkness, creatures without darkvision are effectively blinded. So, no, I don't think so.
I think it would have been best to have the effects of the prevailing lighting conditions affect the user and leave it at that. Or not mention lighting at all, which would have had the same outcome.
There are sufficient rules on darkness. It seems like just using those and allowing the user to see in that darkness to the best of his ability would have been fine.
I did use the rules I thought?There's Bright Light, Normal Light, Dim Light, and Darkness, each of which has its own game effects. In Darkness, creatures without darkvision are effectively blinded. So, no, I don't think so.
I think it would have been best to have the effects of the prevailing lighting conditions affect the user and leave it at that. Or not mention lighting at all, which would have had the same outcome.
Read the spell clairaudience/clairvoyance, the mechanic is the same, as that is 1 of the spells used in the items creation.
Read the spell clairaudience/clairvoyance, the mechanic is the same, as that is 1 of the spells used in the items creation.
Ah, OK. Didn't make that connection.