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joela: Do you have a question, a complaint, or are you just taunting the rest of us? ;)
Yes, yes, and of course not! I'm too young to be a troll ^_^.
In all seriousness, it's a weird situ to be in, at least for me. I do feel guilty about it even though nothing's every going to happen. Especially on the upcoming road trips starting in a few months. Strictly business. *Whew*
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And definitely don't lick a co-worker's stapler...at least while anyone else is around......that didn't end up well at all.....no wonder I can't find a job...:(Damn blacklisters!
There have been a few changes at work. Now I have a new boss who, shall we say, I find pleasing to look at. While it definitely makes it easy to pay attention in conversation, is it time to look for a new job? :(I command you not to get off on this!
Anyway sexual harassment is bad, and I agree with the Seinfeld quote upthread.
And is "take a picture, it'll last longer" ever actual permission? NO.
Definitely no sex in any way shape or form! Eek! Our spouses would kill us!
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joela: Do you have a question, a complaint, or are you just taunting the rest of us? ;)Yes, yes, and of course not! I'm too young to be a troll ^_^.
In all seriousness, it's a weird situ to be in, at least for me. I do feel guilty about it even though nothing's every going to happen. Especially on the upcoming road trips starting in a few months. Strictly business. *Whew*
If nothing is ever going to happen then you have nothing to feel guilty about. It’s not cheating or sleazy to privately acknowledge that you find someone attractive.
On the other hand, you seem a bit pre-occupied about working with people you find attractive. Solution: choose not to think of them as attractive. See them simply as co-workers, not hotties.
I realise that might not seem easy, but with a little practice and will power it’s not that hard. I currently work in close confines with three really very attractive women, and there was a time, not so long ago, when I would have found myself continually distracted or sneaking glances or fantasising. Now though, I’m in a committed relationship, with too much invested in it to risk on a casual affair or even a misunderstanding, plus I am in a position at my work where it would be really inappropriate to be seen to favour someone on a basis of looks or gender. So I just told myself that I wasn’t going to think of people I worked with in those terms any more, and after a while I found that I didn’t.
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I realise that might not seem easy, but with a little practice and will power it’s not that hard.
Read: hand lotion and frequent trips to the bathroom...
I guess as long as you don't get creepy, don't stare, etc, it's okay. I think that good looks are something that are supposed to be enjoyed. "Enjoyed" doesn't have to mean stare at drooling, or take pictures and use them as.... inspiration or anything like that.
And I'm sure people appreciate that you appreciate their good looks, as long as you don't get creepy or stop treating them like people etc.
I wouldn't be guilty about this.
There have been a few changes at work. Now I have a new boss who, shall we say, I find pleasing to look at. While it definitely makes it easy to pay attention in conversation, is it time to look for a new job? :(I command you not to get off on this!
You understand that my puerile mind simply must comment on your choice of words here. You meant to tell him that he should not quit over this, right?
Anyway sexual harassment is bad, and I agree with the Seinfeld quote upthread.
I haven't seen it, but is it "It's like looking at the sun. You don't stare!"? That was about staring at teenager cleavage, but the general concept holds water here, too.
I think it's okay to appreciate the way some one looks, just make sure you don't lose touch of the fact that they are still a person. I have had male coworkers (and even some management) in the past who treated me as eye-candy instead of a person and it is really demeaning and uncomfortable.
You forgot to mention that many of your customers treat your avatar as eye-candy in the most inappropriate manner. That avatar is hawt. Is it seeing anyone?
;-P
I definitely don't stare. (I think). Or drool. (I think). In some ways I treat it as though I'm at a bar; I look but eyes dart away if there's a smidgen of a chance of eye contact. Or like back in high school where I wait until their back's to me. (Which is kinda the best part, since I like backsides ^_^).
I'm not sure, but I think that darting eyes might not be such a good idea. If you're not fast enough, they're going to see you quickly looking away, and that might be almost as incriminating as an actual stare.
Treat your fellow co-workers with the same amount of respect that you'd treat your boss...What if your boss is a hot little number?
Hm.... That reminds me of some (male, of course) comedian saying that he wouldn't mind getting a job via the casting couch - and if the lady was good looking, he wouldn't care about the job itself.
But in the case of a hot boss, I guess the actual answer is "Treat them all as if they were a male boss of yours?"
Doin'? Nothin' Feelin'? Ugh.joela: Do you have a question, a complaint, or are you just taunting the rest of us? ;)Also, I still don't understand your original question -- What are you doing that makes you feel guilty??
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Perhaps you should seek professional help.
You get what you pay for on these boards.
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Dammit, have you been looking at the security footage?!
Hee hee!
No, but I've been there before...
I definitely don't stare. (I think). Or drool. (I think). In some ways I treat it as though I'm at a bar; I look but eyes dart away if there's a smidgen of a chance of eye contact. Or like back in high school where I wait until their back's to me. (Which is kinda the best part, since I like backsides ^_^).
You never know who's looking at YOU. A wandering eye gets noticed, eventually. Be careful. What's innocent to you can be interpreted as quite pervy by someone else.
All the same, I wish I had your problem.
She's happily married to an arcanaton.
You forgot to mention that many of your customers treat your avatar as eye-candy in the most inappropriate manner. That avatar is hawt. Is it seeing anyone?
Hm... now that you mentioned that, I went and looked something up.
It appears my avatar is married, too. 4 kids! Wouldn't have thought it by looking at him.
This is actually his wedding picture. Apparently, it was quite the circus.
Perhaps you should seek professional help.You get what you pay for on these boards.
The individual in question could not afford the amount of therapy required to help him.
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If you are seeing them as eye candy...
Talk to your boss about how they are making it a sexually uncomfortable working environment.
I've had to be the "member of management" at waaaaay too many "he was looking at me and made me feel weird" meetings. In nearly every case, it was a guy who was enjoying an outfit worn by a cute twenty-something female, who said nothing, looked on, enjoyed the view...and got noticed. He thought what he was doing was innocent, it harmed no-one, etc. She thought it made the workplace creepy. Guess which one of them lost their job?
1) The rules are different for men and women. If you're male, the rules are stacked against you. If a man complains about sexually uncomfortable working environments, it is mocked. Women putting flashing LEDs in their cleavage (yes, this actually happened at a call center I was documenting...) just to watch guys look down their shirt then blush or look away suddenly, is sexual harassment. In spite of complaints by me, and other guys, we were told "Ohh, it's just girls having fun. Lighten up!"
2) Never, ever, ever comment on a coworker's attire in a way that could be construed as you hitting on them. Since "construed as you hitting on them" is subjective in the mind of the listener of the comment - or someone else within earshot - it's best to not comment at all. Yes, I've seen a guy brought in for The Sexual Harassment Talk for saying "Hey, Kelly, that's a great dress, it brings out the color in your eyes."
3) Do not stare at a female coworker. Do not stare at her backside as she wanders away. Even if you're 8" taller and she's showing cleavage like JLo, don't stare down her shirt. Make eye contact at all times. Even if she doesn't notice it, someone else WILL and it will get around.
4) Never. Ever. Ever. Touch. While I had never seen a claim that shaking someone's hand was sexual harassment, I personally felt it was only a matter of time.
5) Understand that everyone who enforces these rules knows they are patently stupid. They only care about avoiding lawsuits.
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You understand that my puerile mind simply must comment on your choice of words here. You meant to tell him that he should not quit over this, right?
There have been a few changes at work. Now I have a new boss who, shall we say, I find pleasing to look at. While it definitely makes it easy to pay attention in conversation, is it time to look for a new job? :(I command you not to get off on this!
Wrong! It's what you say to a guy* with a leadership fetish.
*With "guy" in its gender-neutral sense.
I actually had an upper management boss who put things into perspective. He was quoting some comic on the issue of harrassment @ work and put it this way: "Unless you say go out with me and I'll give you a promotion, file everything else under 'just trying to get laid'"
*edited for syntax