The Haiku Game

[Dragonborn3]

Attacked by a squid
Who wants kalamari now!?
Squid ink pizza sauce.

[TheChozyn]

Sqiud ink pizza sauce
Doesn't sound very tasty
I like BBQ

[Oliver von Spreckelsen]

I like BBQ
he says with the flame thrower
in both of his hands

[TheChozyn]

In both of his hands
He carries the whole world
Please don't roll a 1

[Dragonborn3]

Please don't roll a 1
Everyone loves a slinky
Falling down the stairs.

True story. 3 weeks ago tommorrow I was at a game session where we were going up to a monk's temple in the mountains. I suggested we race up the stairs and the DM called for climb checks. "But nobody roll a 1!" he said. Guess which bard became a slinky a second later?

[TheChozyn]

Falling down the stairs
It is faster than wlaking
Not the safest choice

[Charles Scholz]

Not the safest choice
Bedding down for a long rest
In a dragon's lair

[Cuchulainn]

In a dragon's lair,
Keep moving towards the flashes
Daphne is waiting

[therealthom]

Daphne is waiting
Shaggy, Fred, and Thelma too.
Scooby slurps up treats

[TheChozyn]

Scooby slurps up treats
But leave none for Scrappy-Doo
He leave a Doo-doo?

[TheChozyn]

He leaves a Doo-Doo?
A stinky situation
Hand me a hanky

[Cuchulainn]

Hand me a hanky
Seems I've caught Filth Fever, damn
Sewer Adventures!

[TheChozyn]

Sewer Adventures
Delve deep into the poo pits
Alligator farms

[Chris Mortika]

Aligator farms
and gila monster orchards;
sure signs of druids.

[TheChozyn]

sure signs of druids
Well tilled gardens and livestock
The trees have hug marks

[Cuchulainn]

The trees have hug marks
The treant calls them all "George"
He loves them so much

[TheChozyn]

He loves them so much
He polishes them daily
Our rogue and his gold...

[Charles Scholz]

Our rogue and his gold
Will never be parted by
A fair party split.

[Cuchulainn]

A fair party split
All the pretty little elves
Cut into pieces

[Charles Scholz]

Cut into pieces
Thrown onto a roaring fire
Dragon Steaks for all.

[The Jade]

Dragon Steaks for all?
No! Dragon STAKES! They're vampires!
Tragic homonym.

[therealthom]

Tragic homonym
Or sibilant synonym
Palindromes are best

[The Jade]

therealthom wrote:

Palindromes are best

An aside:

Spoiler:

A fellow palindrome adorer? Can it be?! Another excuse to drag out my Emu Love Volume?!

If you liked Yankovic's use of old standard palindromes strung together to rhyme, check out my song below. The entire work is a single palindrome with rhyming verses.

EMU LOVE VOLUME (c. Rone Barton 2002)

Ho!

Emu love volume!

Race laser if flow erupts
I'm raft I'm muse--ew!
Rent rape us
Awash, crane dragon sits
But rat is bonked
I trap a spine
Man, tinker on!

Emu love volume!

Sit in it now
I won't sulk cus
Stuck cab sleep
One man rusts
A last surname no!
Peels back cuts
Suck lust now
I won tinitis

Emu love volume!

No reknit name
Nips a part
I deknob sitar tubs
tis no garden arch
Saw a sue partner
Wee summit far
Mist pure wolf
Fire sale car

Emu love volume!

Oh!

[The Jade]

Palindromes are best
"Go hang a salami, I'm
A lasagna hog."

[therealthom]

A lasagna hog
wins few friends rather makes foes
taking the last piece

The Jade :

Spoiler:

Wow! That's incredible. How hard was that? How do you do something like that? While my talents don't stray in that direction, I am a most appreciative and curious audience.

[The Jade]

therealthom wrote:

The Jade : ** spoiler omitted **

therealthom:

Spoiler:

Hey, thanks!

I spent a week at a friend's place in Scottsdale Arizona, and one day I awoke with the apartment to myself, nothing to do and nowhere to go. Then the idea to write the song came to me and 45-50 minutes later... voila! I have to be in the right mode for anagrams and palindromes, but once I'm in that mode it's a bit hard to exit. I used to be so used to looking for deeper meanings in names, prose and unfortunately even license plates. When I'd read a novel my eye would scan reflexively for acrostics and attempt to "unscramble" names that seemed fishy. Seldom led to any worthy finds. When I saw A Beautiful Mind, I found that representation of how certain letters scattered here and there highlighted attention to be the closest representation of what it's like for me. That said, my mind is not so beautiful. It's cute once you're five beers in though.

Paizo author Mike Kortes told me he never cared for anagrams but when I made sentences out of people's names right there at a table in a bar in Indiana it was kind of wild to see.

I'd rather be able to write adventures like Mike than anagrams, but I'll take what I can get. :)

[Cuchulainn]

Taking the last piece
Left him with nowhere to go
His king surrounded

Spoiler:

Palindromes are so much fun!

[TheChozyn]

His king surrounded
With all of the other knights
Lancelot betrays

[Cuchulainn]

Lancelot betrays
By going to Toby's room
Sarah calls goblins

[therealthom]

Sarah calls goblins
Jimmy no matter their name
Sharp knives await her

The Jade:

Spoiler:

That's pretty amazing. I can kind of sort of do anagrams, given plenty of time. I never look for acrostics, because I just assume the author won't be able to specify the book layout, especially from hard cover to paperback. On the other hand that might be a pretty cool perk for the hardcover buyers....

Wish I could write adventures too.

Cuchulainn, agreed.

[Chris Mortika]

Sharp knives await. Her
guild entrance examination
looks to be dodgy!

[Cuchulainn]

"Looks to be dodgy,"
He said of the refreshments
"The orc brains aren't fresh."

[Chris Mortika]

"The orc brains aren't fresh"
complained the effete illithid.
The zombies agreed.

[TheChozyn]

The zombies agreed
Line dances are beyond them
Except the Thriller

[Charlie Bell]

Except the thriller,
the horror movie often
features a monster.

[Cuchulainn]

"Features a monster"
Is that all that can be said?
How about a plot?

[Chris Mortika]

How about a plot
six feet long? A bit more for
Harald Hardrada.

The was Harold Godwinson's answer, when Hardrada, the viking king, asked "How much land will you grant us, if we pledge not to attack you?" Hardrada was taller than most men, and died the next day at Stamford Bridge.

[TheChozyn]

Harald Hardrada.
A viking apparently
Now in Valhalla

[Cuchulainn]

Now in Valhalla,
They play heavy metal tunes
Severe headbanging

[drunken_nomad]

Severe Headbanging
Multiple contusions, blood
Concert from the pit

[Cuchulainn]

Concert from the pit
The bard's final performance
Release the tigers!

[Charles Scholz]

Release the tigers
Don't let them run in circles
They turn to butter.

[Cuchulainn]

They turn to butter
When they are totally bummed
A strange comfort food

[TheChozyn]

They turn to butter
I can't believe it is not
Spreading evenly

[Charlie Bell]

Spreading evenly
My 20 points on 13s
2 still left over

[Cuchulainn]

2 still left over
All the other numbers picked
No love for the deuce

[Charles Scholz]

No love for the deuce
The trey began eating limes
A strange comfort food

[Chris Mortika]

A strange comfort food:
Ymir snacking on hoar wolves.
Cold comfort, indeed.

[TheChozyn]

cold comfort, indeed.
That the thread has lasted months
Haiku One Thousand