The Haiku Game

[The Jade]

This is 500!
How you gonna have sequels
With no live Spartans?

[Chris Mortika]

With no live Spartans
Athenians breathed easy
Till they heard the groans.

[The Jade]

Till they heard the groans
Cops thought I was killing her
Vday massacre

[Cuchulainn]

VDay massacre
Innocents put to slaughter
Those heartless vegans

[Chris Mortika]

Those heartless vegans
in voracious undead packs
shambling after grains.

[Charles Scholz]

Shamling after grains,
Undead crows came two by two
Scarecrow was asleep.

[The Jade]

Scarecrow was asleep.
That's when Toto humped his leg
He sure hit the hay

[Cuchulainn]

He sure hit the hay
Knocked the stuffing out of him
Defeating strawmen

[Chris Mortika]

Defeating strawmen
built the young man's sword arm but
not his dodging skills.

[The Jade]

Not his dodging skills!
GM hates my character
He's forcing changes

[Cuchulainn]

He's forcing changes
Either by hook or by crook
No Rules as Written

[Chris Mortika]

Know "rules as written",
But magic moments come from
friends telling good tales.

[Charlie Bell]

Friends telling good tales
Still sometimes exaggerate
Their wacky exploits

commentary:

The Jade wrote:

Scarecrow was asleep.

That's when Toto humped his leg
He sure hit the hay

zomg I loled so hard I cried

[TheChozyn]

Their wacky exploits
Would have been lax without him
His name... Scooby-Doo

[Cuchulainn]

His name...Scooby Doo
Thelma, his one companion
Zombies got the rest

[The Jade]

Zombies got the rest
But she's always in my heart
Cuz I drank her blood

[Treppa]

Cuz I drank her blood
And she partook of mine, we
Sparkle together

[The Jade]

Sparkle together
Mine twinkling brethren above
Our church is the night

[Someone's Alias]

Our church is the night
Our prayer is of silence
The assassin's life

[Cuchulainn]

The assassin's life
Is spent perfecting the kill
Silent but Deadly

[Chris Mortika]

Silent but deadly,
Black-clad, ninjas contrast 'gainst
The Morris dancers.

[TheChozyn]

The Morris dancers
That cat gets it all I see
Nine lives must be nice

[Cuchulainn]

Nine lives must be nice
A chance to explore each vice
Perhaps even twice

[Chris Mortika]

"Perhaps even twice!"
And thus Dave's new PC, only
five minutes old, died.

[TheChozyn]

Five minutes old, died
I hate my DM fiercely
1st level lich fight

[Cuchulainn]

1st level lich fight
Begins with getting lich-slapped
All downhill from there

[TheChozyn]

All downhill for there
Good thing I can just coast now
Peddling is hard

[Cuchulainn]

Peddling is hard
The economy is down
And my sole's worn thin

[Studpuffin]

And my sole's worn thin,
from constantly walking on
sandpaper treadmills.

[Cuchulainn]

Sandpaper treadmills
And balsawood guinea pigs
The woodwright's pet shop

[TheChozyn]

The woodwright's pet shop
Closed due to competition
Pet rocks win the day

[Charlie Bell]

Pet rocks win the day
Slap bracelets take home silver
The Fad Olympics

EDIT: Commentary:

HA! I finally ninja'd somebody else! GMTA, Studpuffin.

[Studpuffin]

Pet rocks win the day,
Parachute pants win the gold,
Jive gets a silver.

[Studpuffin]

WTH? You weren't there yesterday when I posted, nor when i checked again later? How the heck did you do that Charlie? Paizo has some stupid post timing issues. I didn't even know until someone told me in RL you'd posted.

Jive gets a silver,
Its all a lump of matter
Pet rocks win the day

Okay, does that work? I'm officially in the group that thinks if you're ninja'd... just skip them.

[The Jade]

Studpuffin... good save. As for your assertion that ninja'd ones should just be skipped... you sir. are the enemy of final compilations everywhere. I say good day to you!

The Fad Olympics
Oh no! Promo erratum!
Printer's getting sued

[Studpuffin]

Alright, I can keep up but should I disappear for three or four days without a change, please feel free to go on without me.

Printer's getting sued
He got ink all over the
P F R P G

[The Jade]

Studpuffin wrote:

Alright, I can keep up but should I disappear for three or four days without a change, please feel free to go on without me.

::Heroically screams, "NO MAN LEFT BEHIND!"::

P F R P G
Just sing it to the tune of
B I N G O

[Cuchulainn]

B-I-N-G-O
Which Bard buff does it provide?
One can only guess

[Chris Mortika]

One can only guess
what lies beyond the gate and
wear layered outfits.

[Cuchulainn]

Wear layered outfits
Plan for all contingencies
You'll need a towel

[Chris Mortika]

You will need a towel*
golem to beat his horde of
damp elementals.

*My dialect pronounces "towel" as a one-syllable word, rhyming with "howl".

[Cuchulainn]

Damp elementals
Won't catch cold but may grow mold
Symbiotic doom

[Tensor]

Symbiotic doom
Festering numeraries
Waist high tentacles

[drunken_nomad]

Waist high tentacles
Japanese schoolgirls and bears
Disaster awaits

[Cuchulainn]

Disaster awaits
If one divides by zero
In a holodeck

[Chris Mortika]

In a holodeck
of many things, there lies "Death"
pledging 3-D doom.

[Cuchulainn]

Pledging "3-D Doom"
Michael Bay and James Cameron
Collaborating

[Celestial Healer]

Collaborating
Can be a mistake sometimes.
Sold my soul to smurfs.

[drunken_nomad]

Sold my soul to smurfs
Iommi said to Geezer
Peyo is Satan

[TheChozyn]

Peyo is Satan
Though he likes to relax some
His drink: Peyo Tea