Fearmonger
Description: Fearmongers are a species of magical, intelligent, plants whose appearance resembles that of a humanoid Walking Stick. Their coloring can range from a deep brown to a woody red and their skin bears a wood grain pattern. Most who have seen a Fearmonger never realize they have gazed upon something other than a pile of brush, a shattered log, or a broken wooden chair. If their camouflage is compromised, they extend their many appendages to give themselves a more threatening appearance. Though physically weak, a Fearmonger’s powers of manipulation and domination are formidable. The ideal habitat for a Fearmonger is in the woodpile of a dwelling or any location where refuse wood would be deposited and nearby traffic would be sparse. Fearmongers tend to settle near towns or cities where a large population can be influenced. Unlike other plants, Fearmongers do not gain their energy from the sun, but rather from the fear their minions spread, harvesting the clouds of paranoia, depression, and dread that pervade their territories.
Powers and Abilities:The Fearmonger’s reputation as sowers of fear and hysteria are well earned. Using haunting dreams which they inflict on potential victims, these plants both test the will of their prey and reveal their location, enticing the subject to investigate, bringing them within striking distance. Then, with powerful mind controlling magic they dominate their minions and send them forth into the community to commit crimes of horror which include ritualistic murder, rape, arson, vandalism, and kidnapping. In many cases the minion is captured or killed only to have the crimes resume days later by someone unrelated to the first culprit, this often confounds local constables and enhances the community’s fear.
Description is fine, I can easily picture this creature.
My one problem with this creature is I don't understand why it would have these mental powers. Plants get their food from sunlight; the small proportion of Earth plants that don't use photosynthesis are all parasitic or predatory on other creatures--whether they leech food from fungi, or eat bugs and such. That's because photosynthesis is remarkably efficient and the "food" is plentiful; even plants like the Venus flytrap use carnivorous methods to compensate for the poor nutritional value of their soil, but they're still photosynthetic. A plant-creature that's non-photosynthetic, yet feeds on mental fear seems like it's given up a free source of food for an especially difficult-to-create-and-harvest one. I could see an outsider or a fey doing this (and a fey plant-like monster would be cool) but not a plant (unless a druid or wizard created this thing to prey on civilized folk, but that's an overused explanation for a creature's existence). I'd be more likely to accept this creature if it grew some sort of fruit, and that fruit had psychoactive properties that made people hostile, but it's just weird that a plant (immune to mind-affecting effects) would develop magical powers over things it can't conceive of.
This is another creature with a pretty EXTREEEEME name. Remember, when naming creatures, think about dubbing them either what they call themselves or what other beings call them. This one's name sounds like it was named that to be scaaaaary, and maybe it's just the jaded horror fan in me, but anything that comes across as actively trying to be scary instantly fails. In many cases, I'd rather have a weird made-up word than a name that sounds like a metal band.
I also disagree with Sean about the description. Maybe it's the capitalization on the "Walking Stick" but are we talking more a humanoid piece of wood or the bug? I guess it's just that walking sticks don't have a specific shape to my mind that sets them apart as being different than normal sticks, and as soon as you make that humanoid, it's pretty much just a wooden dude... so I don't know, I got a bit lost here.
Also - and sorry to be so down on this - I don't get a good idea of why these things are doing what they do. The feeds off fear thing doesn't feel like a good fit for a humanoid walking stick, or much of any plants really. I could be convinced otherwise, but the description doesn't do any convincing.
All that being said, the idea of a wooden person hiding in your lumber pile with no other intent than to give you bad dreams is pretty creepy.
Initial Impression: A scary stick? Going to have to see how this works out...
Concept (name, overall design choices, design niche, playability/usability, challenge): C
The name is a problem. Names either come from what a creature calls itself or what others who have encountered it call it. I don’t think this name fits either of those.
Worse, this monster makes no sense. Why is a plant luring people to then go back and do evil? This creature is a weak excuse for a mystery adventure. That’s a story hook, not a true monster.
Execution (quality of writing, hook, theme, organization, use of proper format, world neutral, quality of mandatory content—description, summary of powers): C
This creature is poorly explained. And, unlike Sean, I can’t really visualize it other than its one of those stick bug things. I’m not saying all monsters have to look awesome, but at some point you have to make an art order for your creature and this thing is just underwhelming. Its mind control powers are also poorly explained. Yes, I know this is just a pitch, but I’m not getting it.
Tilt (did it grab me, do I want to use one in an adventure?): C
I just don’t want a mind controlling stick bug.
Overall: C
Maybe in a specific adventure as a story hook this works, but as a monster in a book of monsters to stand alongside the pantheon of classic monsters, this one fails.
Recommendation: I DO NOT recommend this creature advance.
{And, unlike Sean, I can’t really visualize it other than its one of those stick bug things.}
Well, that IS what I picture this looking like. :) I mean, most look like sticks, but there are some that look like OH MY GOD GET IT OFF ME GET IT OFF ME GET IT OFF ME YAAAAAGGHHHH!
So, this is what happens when Logue & Pett gets into a locked room and decides to take Daigle and turn him into a twisted fiendish aberrant SpoooOOOooooky walking preying stick? Hm....
Contributor
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Star Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 9
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More plant monsters are always good. Maybe it's because I've read too many comic books, but Fearmonger sounds like a Captain America villain, rather than a good monster name, to me. There's also a disconnect between the "food" it gets and the way it obtains its food. It seems like it would have one of its thralls carry it off to the next community to continue its spree, but the description is not clear.
This guy is sort of weird as a plant, but I agree with the China Mieville comparison. The weird spindly monster hiding in the woodpile, turning people into monsters and feeding on the chaos they create is a pretty good hook for me. I'm sort of imagining them as looking somewhere between being made of sticks and the walking stick insects, which gives them a pretty neat look in my head.
But again, it's weird as a plant, and not a plant mimic. Although Sean bringing logical evolutionary theory into D&D is kind of silly, it's the kind of silly that I indulge in a lot. And a plant switching from getting effortless sun--or somewhat more work from corpses--to fear which requires lots of cultivation is sort of odd.
Make it a fey and it would almost certainly get my vote. As is, I'll have to think about it.
Also, are they selling fear?
Not enough plant monsters in D&D and less intelligent ones, so kudos for that immediately. I have to admit I agree with the judge's qualms about the name of the creature-imagining 'fear monger' and then realizing it's shaped like a walking stick was an odd sensation. Naming anything-monsters, NPC's, etc... is probably the DM duty I am the worst at, so I can empathize. Past that, I really like the fact that their appetite is for the fear that they sow. Come to think of it, you call them 'sowers of fear' in the first sentence of the Powers & Abilities section, maybe that would make a good name or nickname for them.
I think pinning down the intelligence score will determine how I'd use them as a DM-as I can see ritualistic murder from their minions (sort of as a weird way of expressing their fear/or the sign of an alien intelligence), but 'vandalism' and 'kidnapping' imply more of a long-term planning sort of mind.
All in all, this monster has all the makings of a much despised creature (in the best possible sense) for PC's and an interesting adventure seed (pardon the pun), good luck RC, I hope you do well in the round!
Star Voter Season 6
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{And, unlike Sean, I can’t really visualize it other than its one of those stick bug things.}
Well, that IS what I picture this looking like. :) I mean, most look like sticks, but there are some that look like OH MY GOD GET IT OFF ME GET IT OFF ME GET IT OFF ME YAAAAAGGHHHH!
hey that thing looks cool
Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8
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How did the author respond to the challenge? Strong concept of what they do may not work so well (in mental association or in the rules) with what they are.
How does it stack up
- as an opponent? Depending very much on their environment, it may be difficult for the PCs even to find the ultimate source of the town's troubles and when they do, they're in danger of being dominated, which always makes things interesting.
- as something other than an opponent? These creatures are all plot. They might find a way to overcome their likely distrust of others and work with other evil beings as well.
- in relation to other monsters? I haven't seen many like them, certainly.
- in relation to the author's item? It ends up being a very different concept than the alchemical waters, working on relationships between characters rather than objects.
- in itself? I mentioned something of a disconnection between their horrible deeds and their form as flimsy camouflaged plant-men. It could be an evocative contrast or provoke more of a reaction of bafflement, depending how it's handled.
Possible. I'll come back to this one.
This is one of the few submissions, that, sadly, don't live up to their name. 'Fearmonger'? Wow. Cool. I'm already picturing Riddick's Necromongers or something like that. Sinister. Brooding. And then I read on, and it's ...
... what? A stick-plant-like insect?
Sorry, but you lost me right there :(.
Other than that, I agree that this creature's powers aren't properly justified by its description.
Thanks for the feedback from everyone, judges especially. :) Took a few risks, hope you give it a chance.
Praise:
I like what they do. The dream assailant is a classic D&D troupe, and the new packaging is different. Generally, it's a demon, or a witch, or some undead monstrosity. This is a simple looking brush or branch, and would prove difficult to root out. I could see it as part of some evil fey's playbook.
Concerns:
The name is campy. The idea is campy, and channels B movie horror. I don't see this thing having a "reputation", because it seems really weak. Even if it did manage to find a town to terrorize(they don't sound intelligent), they would never find it because it's a stick. If they did, they would kill it(detect magic would give it away pretty quickly). This is very niche and seems like limited use minion.
Overall:
I think I am just missing "it" in this entry. I don't like the name(too close to Fishmonger...lol), and it seems pretty weak. As part of a compound plot, it could be effective, but on it's own it doesn't stand up. I can see the simple adventure hooks, but with the rape and murder this creature comes with some very heavy baggage. Overall, I think this monster fits into a niche that is already brimming with evil fey, trickster demons, and incorporeal undead of many shapes and sizes.
Fearmonger
This is the fourth monster that I am looking at. I do not read the comments below the entry before posting my opinion. An apology if this is duplicative of someone else’s entry, in part or whole.
Ah, a walking stick insect, wait, a plant. It looks like disabled furniture. Okay, it’s a creeper monster. It gains energy from fear, depression, paranoia, etc instead of light. I keep thinking this would work better as an insect than a plant, based upon this description. Dunno why.
Powers:
*inflict haunting dreams on victims (big theme this year!)
*test the will of their prey (huh?)
*incent them to investigate (mm-kay)
*dominate their minions and send them forth to rape, pillage and destroy (Okay. Sounds more like a comic book villain or a character from a novel than something useful in D&D honestly. Lots of dominate monsters out there.)
Summary: This monster is far more of a plot point than a monster. A lot of time is spent discussing it as if the adventure were happening around it. There is one good point in that it really seems to boil down to one central attack (dominate), with some other writing that may or may not pan out (testing the will of their prey). However, just because they can use that spell, what makes them unique or interesting? We don’t really get a motive and it doesn’t seem like something you’d put in a dungeon. Points for having a decent name.
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The description of the monster is solid. I feel I can see exactly what the author envisioned. Good work there.
As a player, this would be an aggravating monster to deal with. Not challenging, aggravating.
These things would be actively hunted down and destroyed by any culture that worked out what was going on, so I have trouble seeing more than one ever showing up in a campaign.
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4, Legendary Games
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{And, unlike Sean, I can’t really visualize it other than its one of those stick bug things.}
Well, that IS what I picture this looking like. :) I mean, most look like sticks, but there are some that look like OH MY GOD GET IT OFF ME GET IT OFF ME GET IT OFF ME YAAAAAGGHHHH!
Wow, great picture!
As for the monster... I'm just not getting it. A plant with some kind of pollen or scent or whatever that makes people scared or crazy I can get. One that just invades your dreams and makes you EEEEVIL, I just don't buy it. Maybe it's a nomenclature thing, like when a plant starts doing that, it becomes an aberration or a fey, like how an animal that gets too exotic becomes a magical beast, or a humanoid that gets all freaked out and weird is a monstrous humanoid. I shouldn't get hung up on that, cuz obviously we have intelligent plants (treants for starters), and there's no particular reason a plant can't have magic dream powers, but...
I guess I'm with Clark - this monster seems to make no sense. It's kind a bizarro hodge-podge of appearance (does it look like a person, a wooden person, a walking stick (cane), a walking stick (bug), a humanoid walking stick (cane or bug)), abilities (dreams, evil), habits (it lives in your woodpile and gives you nightmares).
Overall: I'm just not feelin the love.
A stick monster is going to have a pretty limited appeal, I'm afraid.
Contributor, RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16
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Originality: Is this creature a unique creation? Does it fill a unique niche in the game?
Mojo/ spirit: Do I want to see your creature in my game?
Fearmonger
A Plant monster that looks like a walking bunch of sticks? Meh.
Thats fairly intelligent and feeds on the fears of others? You might have something here. Especially with the first part.But thats about what I have to say about this. A bush that hides somewhere totally benign and charms people to do awful stuff to spread fear is not a intriguing monster for me. your description doesn't have a pull on me either.
This really pretty much is a plot point , a monster that exists only to facilitate a single plot around it. This has a place in a single murder story adventure, called "The Fearmonger" and thats about it. I'll give it a pass.
I'm not considering this for a vote.
Humm,
im not sold on the name either... Im also not to keen on this being a plant and settling places. Creatures settle, plants grow in habitats and environs.
Again, though, this is a neat monster. Some kinks that oughta be worked out, but it would definately be neat to see this. Im also lazy so wont be repeating my generic complaints about the monster trends i left on the Sensory Stalker.
This one gets my vote.
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RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16
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Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka JoelF847
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Between the name, the diet, and the description, I thought that this monster was a bit of a clone of the batman villain Scarecrow, but it's a plant. Unfortunately, that's not too original at this point, and it's methodology doesn't make a lot of sense to me. If it can invade someone's dreams and mentally influence them from a distance, why would it even need to have them come to it to get fully dominated? Being a plant, I agree with Jason that using a pollen or fruit or something would make a lot more sense. In fact, being a plant seems to have absolutely no impact at all on what this monster does. The real downfall of this monster is that it comes across to me as a weaker, more limited version of an enchanter. An enchanter (or sorcerer with dominate person) can do all of the things a fearmonger can do, but a) doesn't have to hide out in the wood pile, and b) has lots of other abilities. Sure, you could compare lots of monsters to character classes - i.e. an ogre is just like a fighter, it hits hard, but for RPG Superstar, I'm looking for entries that are something new and different, not just another way to do something that already exists in the game.
*stuff*
I agree with all of this.
Demiurge 1138: A monger is a dealer in a specific commodity, or someone promoting something undesirable. I think the use of monger in this context fits both of these definitions.
RC Higgins: However, just because the name fits doesn't mean it's the best name. For example, you could have also called this creature an Evilplant. Since these creatures are so secretive, there is a good chance that no one has seen them. I would have gone with the other naming convention, and called these guys what they call themselves.
I thank you for trying to bring in another plant monster (I don't think the game has enough), but I'm just not a big fan of the Fearmonger.
Does it grab me visually: I am much more drawn to the adventure that comes with this monster than the monster itself. Unexplained, horrendous acts that don’t stop even when the culprits are caught. That’s fun. But the ultimate villain is a plant. I have trouble with that.
Would I use it in game: I love what this creature does, I just need a more horrifying creature to do it. But you have me thinking of other ways to do something similar, that’s a plus.
Would my players enjoy an encounter with it: They would love tracking down the true villain. Then they would be disappointed when they fought a plant hiding in a pile of brush.
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RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32
aka flash_cxxi
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To me this just doesn't feel liek a Monster. It feels like an inteligent Weapon. All I can picture is a Quarterstaff when ever I see it. Even when they do "extend their many appendages" I still just see a Quarterstaff with legs and arms.
I just can't get past that image so it doesn't get my Vote.
Sorry and Good Luck. :)
"Fearmonger"
"Fearmongers are ... a humanoid Walking Stick."
"their skin bears a wood grain pattern."
"Though physically weak, a Fearmonger’s powers of manipulation and domination are formidable."
"The ideal habitat for a Fearmonger is in the woodpile of a dwelling or any location where refuse wood would be deposited and nearby traffic would be sparse."
"Fearmongers tend to settle near towns or cities where a large population can be influenced."
"Unlike other plants, Fearmongers do not gain their energy from the sun, but rather from the fear their minions spread, harvesting the clouds of paranoia, depression, and dread that pervade their territories"
"The Fearmonger’s reputation as sowers of fear and hysteria are well earned."
"Then, with powerful mind controlling magic they dominate their minions and send them forth into the community to commit crimes of horror which include ritualistic murder, rape, arson, vandalism, and kidnapping. In many cases the minion is captured or killed only to have the crimes resume days later by someone unrelated to the first culprit, this often confounds local constables and enhances the community’s fear."
Hey mate, I like that you tried a plant creature. Hard to do, but effective if you can make it happen. As you know the problem is that 'Fearmonger' doesn't feel like a plant and that the mental abilities aren't really plant-like. You also got caught by a lot of people using the mental powers theme, which was just unlucky. I hope you give the next RPG Super Star a go.