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Half-orc Barbarian and a Dwarven Monk trek up to the Caves of Chaos north of the Keep on the Borderlands. Barbarian has a STR > 20, and is wading in at half hitpoints. Hit the Rage button and in two hits he's unconcious and bleeding out.
Fast forward to the next time he's at half hits and hits the Rage button. Taps out to negatives and is bleeding out.
And third time's a charm, he taps out again. He hasn't Raged in over a year because he likes to fight standing up.
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Then there's the game I played with my ex. He was playing a Paladin of the God of the Hunt, aka St George. I was playing a poncy cat person shaman who was a total punk, mostly designed as an in party antagonist for St George.
We're treking to a temple cave, Georgie's acting funny. Then he goes into a shrine, sacrifices a live stag and comes out dripping in its blood.
I shoot him, decrying that he's soaked in blood and probably charmed or possessed. The God of the Hunt curses me, George pulls the arrow out and full heals himself, and suddenly that character (an avowed carnivore) is cursed into vegetarianism.
One of my favorite moments was one of my gamers rolling a d20 to hit, and the dice bouncing across the table to ricochet off of a can of soda, only to land smack dab on a 20.
Immediately one of the other gamers at the table says, "thank you Coca-Cola."
Its probably not nearly as funny writing it out as it was actually being at that session.
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cat person?Then there's the game I played with my ex. He was playing a Paladin of the God of the Hunt, aka St George. I was playing a poncy cat person shaman who was a total punk, mostly designed as an in party antagonist for St George.
We're treking to a temple cave, Georgie's acting funny. Then he goes into a shrine, sacrifices a live stag and comes out dripping in its blood.
I shoot him, decrying that he's soaked in blood and probably charmed or possessed. The God of the Hunt curses me, George pulls the arrow out and full heals himself, and suddenly that character (an avowed carnivore) is cursed into vegetarianism.
It was GURPS. The character's name was "Cat" because among humans he couldn't find a person that could pronounce his proper name.
Me and my friends are playing through Rise of the Rune Lords, so in the down time between outings our cleric decides to start making holy water as a way of making money. The GM tells us that it's a pointless quest because it costs 25gp to make and sells for the same. So we all start figuring what skill checks would need to be made to get the ground silver necessary for a cheaper price. By the end we'd payed some skilled workers 10gp to help us build a mill to grind silver pieces into powder and we'd turned one of our carts into a stall to sell them. Ultimately we were able to beat the system by making holy water for less than 25gp each.
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In a camopaign a while back the gnome ninja had died and been reincarnated as a goblin, but couldn't speak the language until he levelled up.
A goblinoid army was advancing across the land and some hobgoblins had set up a fortress blockading a road which the party had to clear. The new goblin had dressed up in the armour a slain worg rider and was trying to infiltrate the blockade.
He hailed the guard on top of the stockade in Common, who asked him 'Why you no speak Goblin?'
His repsonse was 'I'm from the south, it's a different dialect.'. The player rolled a bluff check and got a total of 21.
I decided this was extremely hard to believe, applying a -20 modifier to the result and giving a grand total of 1. I rolled a sense motive - a natural 1, -1 for the guard's Wisdom of 8, meaning the guard called for the gate to be opened.
We were all somewhat amazed.
I'm GMing a campaign and one of the players has a young son he wants to introduce to the hobby.
Half-way through his first ever session, the young boy has committed every faux pas you can imagine and so the other players are not taking him at all seriously and their patience is spent.
As they reach the half-way point in the dungeon, every suggestion the boy makes is met with a firm and immediate 'no.' What does he know after all? Why should we search that pile of papers on the floor? What on earth could that goblin have on his body that might be worth taking?
And that's why the party missed every one of the good bits of loot, scrolls etc. because they wouldn't listen to him. I still haven't had the heart to tell them what they passed up on, just because they refused to accept advice from a young newbie.
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I have to blow the dust off of my two favorite, from long, long ago:
It involved the Tomb of Horrors. Our group had decided we were going to take every possible precaution to stay alive. Every party member was covered with a contingency spell set to activate raise dead.
About halfway rhough the dungeon, the party encountered the auditory-illusion trap. They hear sounds of several individuals on the other side of a large door, and as we try to open it, the sounds indicate the group on the other side running away. Once we get the door forced open, our group's monk decided he was going to catch the other group before they got away.
He ran, full (monk) speed down the hallway after the sounds. Of course, that was the point of the trap. About halfway down the hallway, the monk crosses the tipping point that flips the hall floor down and he slides into a pool of lava. The contingency spell kicks in, raises him (in the lava), where he promptly dies again.
From the rest of our perspectives it looked something like this:
Monk rushes down the hall into the darkness...."ARRGHHH!" (pause) "ARRRGH!" (silence).
I have to blow the dust off of my two favorite, from long, long ago:
It involved the Tomb of Horrors. Our group had decided we were going to take every possible precaution to stay alive. Every party member was covered with a contingency spell set to activate raise dead.
About halfway rhough the dungeon, the party encountered the auditory-illusion trap. They hear sounds of several individuals on the other side of a large door, and as we try to open it, the sounds indicate the group on the other side running away. Once we get the door forced open, our group's monk decided he was going to catch the other group before they got away.
He ran, full (monk) speed down the hallway after the sounds. Of course, that was the point of the trap. About halfway down the hallway, the monk crosses the tipping point that flips the hall floor down and he slides into a pool of lava. The contingency spell kicks in, raises him (in the lava), where he promptly dies again.
From the rest of our perspectives it looked something like this:
Monk rushes down the hall into the darkness...."ARRGHHH!" (pause) "ARRRGH!" (silence).
LOL isn't there a law against 'double jeopardy'?
RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8
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Well there was a don't split the party moment. My (LE) character is in a party, the (CN) rogue is going on a date with a crime boss, and the party's worried about how to handle the splitting of the party.
Shadrach: Here, take my psicrystal (tosses a drained powerstone to the rogue)
Qui-tai: What will this do?
Shadrach: Psicrystals have a empathic link, you get in trouble we'll come running.
DM (Later that night, privately) You don't have a psicrystal, do you?
Shadrach: No, but they don't know that...
Another game, 2e, playing Dragon Mountain, The fighter mage has a contingency that if he gets knocked to 5 HP, a resiliant sphere goes up.
This contingency goes off when he's in melee with some kind of gargoyle thing much laughing at his expence ensues.
Same player, now DMing darksun.
Me: Ok, ectoplasmic form, what happens if I hold on to something, go ectoplasmic, then let go of it?
DM: It turns back to normal.
(Later in the game, I'm scouting in ectoplasmic form)
DM: Ok, the wasp thing sees you, swings its weapon ineffectively, what do you do?
Me: I shove a shortsword into his brain.
DM: um, ok, roll to hit AC 6 (remember, this is 2e) for called shot to the head.
Me: *rolls* Ok.
DM: OK. You have the intangible shortsword in the monster's head, what do you do. (He honestly didn't see this coming)
Me: let go
*Insert DM choking on his Mountain Dew here*
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Another fun one:
The party was trapped in the Underdark (2e Forgotten Realms), and had been there for several days. No one in the group had any talents or abilities geared to finding food underground, and they had used up all their rations.
The party had been attacked by a group of drow, and the halfling thief (rogue) had been killed.
Cleric: "I'll wrap his body in my bedroll and carry him. If we can get out and back to my temple, I can have him resssurected.
Fighter: "Does the body need to be fully intact to perform a ressurection?"
Cleric: "No, the spell could be performed with just one piece..."
Fighter pullls out a dagger and saws off halfling's finger.
Fighter: "Here. Put this in your pouch."
Cleric: "But what about...(sudden realization)...we can't eat him! That's cannibalism!
Fighter: "....I'm not a halfling..."
I was the DM and we were playing "A dark and stormy knight" in some outdoor tables at the university. In a table very close to us, two friends were playing Magic: the Gathering and one of them was playing very bad and not paying attention to their game so the other one was very upset.
Me : So you are in a dark corridor and in front of you is a wooden door.
The Fighter : I open the door and walk into the room with sword in hand.
Me : As you enter the room you hear a scream that is so terrifying that it freezes your blood...
MtG player: "IT´S YOUR TURN YOU A$$H01E!"
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I was in a game of Hunter: The Reckoning being run in my friend's dorm room back in college. The players were unused to playing in an occupied building (we used to be able to use the classroom buildings after dark), and the game had gotten very intense over the last few sessions - the nice-guy PC and the victory-at-all-costs PC did NOT like each other.
The cool headed character had left the room, leaving the two rival PCs alone with their disagreements for the first time since the nice guy had found out that the fanatic had planned to let the beasties kill the nice guy's fiance in order to keep him from being distracted from The Hunt with "mundane" concerns.
This showdown had been building up for months both in and out of game, so when the nice guy Defender had finally had enough of the fanatic, he pulled out his combat shotgun (in character! in character!) and his player, completely immersed, bellowed at the top of his lungs, "YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING THAT IS WRONG IN MY LIFE!" and opened fire.
A few hours later, we found out that campus security was almost called on us - somebody thought that the player was arguing with his girlfriend and that the argument had gotten abusive.
Boy were we embarrassed.
EDIT: The shotgun was in-game only.
My aberrant-bloodline albino Mawangi sorcerer is now in a relationship with a harpy (Undrella from Howl of the Carrion King). Carry on.
My aberrant-bloodline albino Mawangi sorcerer is now in a relationship with a harpy (Undrella from Howl of the Carrion King). Carry on.
Have you, by any chance, read any of this thread?
Party of Evil characters trekking among the forests of the Eldeen Reaches (Eberron), in a zone where it was frequent to have Fey creatures from Outer Planes to mix into the Prime Material Plane.
(the cleric of the group, Father Zandrù, is wearing a blood-smeared Full Plate)
(there is a savage Barbarian Orc among the group)
(and many more suspicious characters)
A couple of Lillend hear the commotion and hide among the trees.
Suddenly they ask (in Celestial):
'Hold there ! Who are you !?!'
Nobody replies (they do not understand Celestial)
The Lillends then ask (in INFERNAL):
'Are you fiends !?!'
And one of the group (in INFERNAL):
'Of course not !!!'
Battle insures...
My aberrant-bloodline albino Mawangi sorcerer is now in a relationship with a harpy (Undrella from Howl of the Carrion King).And it's complicated. :P
Meh... He's a pesh user. Nothing is ever very complicated.
My aberrant-bloodline albino Mawangi sorcerer is now in a relationship with a harpy (Undrella from Howl of the Carrion King). Carry on.Have you, by any chance, read any of this thread?
I have now. Thanks for that.
Party of Evil characters trekking among the forests of the Eldeen Reaches (Eberron), in a zone where it was frequent to have Fey creatures from Outer Planes to mix into the Prime Material Plane.
(the cleric of the group, Father Zandrù, is wearing a blood-smeared Full Plate)
(there is a savage Barbarian Orc among the group)
(and many more suspicious characters)A couple of Lillend hear the commotion and hide among the trees.
Suddenly they ask (in Celestial):
'Hold there ! Who are you !?!'Nobody replies (they do not understand Celestial)
The Lillends then ask (in INFERNAL):
'Are you fiends !?!'And one of the group (in INFERNAL):
'Of course not !!!'Battle insures...
That is hilarious. I'm going to have to do something like that one of these days. Unfortunately, we nearly always seem to have a cleric that speaks Celestial in the party (the women in our group aren't so keen on playing evil PCs), so it will have to be something more mundane, but still, great idea.
My gaming group just finished up 'Burnt Offerings' last weekend but the weekend before that, we had a rather amusing incident:
(I've marked this as a spoiler for those who haven't made it to the end of 'Burnt Offerings')
He then tries to pick the second magical lock on a door leading to another room. At this point, I really needed to use the bathroom so I left the table, figuring nothing bad was going to happen.
5 minutes later, while I'm washing my hands, I hear the guy who plays the barbarian call "Ariiiaaanaahh..." (my character's name).
My response (from the bathroom): "Alright, who's dead??!!"
*Guys begin laughing hysterically*
Needless to say, I've started taking my bathroom breaks at less life-threatning moments in game *lol*
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Setup: End of Savage Tide. Fight against the big bad of the whole shebang.
Smack dab in the middle of the last battle, the party has fought through the entire dungeon, from door guards on up. There's a particularly nasty sorcerer who won't stay dead.
Anyways...
Half the party is paralyzed, confused, dead, near dead, or some combination of the above. BBEG has toyed with them a little, and has shapechanged into a beholder. Why, i'm not sure, but a part of me wants to believe the DM was holding out.
Come 0030, i'm off of work, character loaded up, and in the fray. (I had been dropping in more or less 75% of the time, was playing crazy cheese metamagic cleric and leadership'ed bard. also had a summoned Justice Archon named Piotr around for 2 weeks.) As I sat down, I had more than enough mobility to get all 3 of us in the last room, Belt of Battle'ed for more actions, and healed everyone of everything really bad. This included the rogue being DEAD, the warmage insane, feebleminded, and at some ungodly -hp value, the ranger being insane, and some other status effects.
The next round, enough Save vs. Massive Damage saves get tossed onto big ol BBEG, and he eventually crit fails vs. a polar ray. Ironic, that, seeing as how the Warmage in my campaign (in which the DM and Nomad player also participated) killed the same baddy, with the same effect, in much the same manner.
I won the game, by not being there in the beginning of the night, and without taking the glory from anyone. Go team Cleric!
-t
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The current game I’m playing in, my character is a paladin of Abadar. He’s well over 6 foot tall, strong, and very grim and serious.
In one session he and the group’s cleric of Pharasma went off to interrogate a prisoner that we’d captured in a previous session. My paladin had an intimidate modifier of +7 and the cleric had something like +5. As we entered the cell, the GM asked for intimidate skill checks. I rolled a 1 and the cleric (who was Aiding Another to my roll) rolled something like a 2. The GM ruled that we tried to enter the cell at the same time and got momentarily stuck, reducing the prisoner to fits of laughter. Needless to say the interrogation did not get off to a good start.
After that, the cleric (who had made slightly less of a fool of herself than the paladin) decided to take lead on the interrogation, and got a decent roll on a second Intimidate skill check. I had the paladin roll an Aid Another check (standing around in the background looking tough) … and rolled another natural 1. My paladin leaned against the wall, arms crossed … but misjudged the position of the wall and fell over.
We didn’t get a whole lot of information out of that prisoner that session …
Despite that though, the cleric of Pharasma and the paladin of Abadar make a pretty good team, and often end up working together, or taking a certain stance on an issue (often against the rest of the party). The rest of the group has begun referring to the pair as Death and Taxes.
Living force game. Buddy was playing a Twi'lek noble. aka a superstar singer/dancer and I played his Wookie soldier/bodyguard. second game session we were fighting a manifistation of bent up dark force (or somthing to that nature) And when the battle started to go south. my buddy whiped out his blaster and said...
buddy-"I'm Attacking the darkness!"
GM-"your what?"
Buddy-"I'm attacking the darkness?....Oh sh*t...I'm acually attacking the darkness.."
We lost it for a good 5 minutes. he still has yet to live down acually attacking the darkness. And for the few out of the loop. Dead Ale Wives.
Mr. Fishy was playing the Savage Tide with some mods. The party has two thieves and a paladin, joy. The party's trapfinder sets off a trap and burned for two rounds while Mr. Fishy's rogue looks on and says, "That must suck."
The trapfinder explains that the trap is set off by touching a pressure plate to which the Mr. Fishy and the paladin exclaim in unision "THEN DON'T TOUCH IT!"
The rest of the group started snickering.
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Red Plume Mountain.
In the giant steam bubble, there lurks a School-Bus-Sized-Crab. Crab o' Doom.
Behind the Doomcrab, the macguffin lies. The paladin sees the treasure, and dashes forward.
Crab had Combat Reflexes, and Grab. Constrict + the next attack was enough to kill him, let alone the 2nd claw and it's constrict.
Snip, 2 halfs of paladin lie on the floor, and the doohickey is covered in the blood of the righteous.
They later killed the monster, stole the loot, and fled a hot boiling watery death. Paladin came back as a halfling, and spent a VERY long time getting all his gear sorted.
-t
I'm DMing Expedition to Castle Ravenloft with PRPG characters (and also set in Ustalav) as a pick-up game when I don't have enough players for our regular campaign but do have people willing to play.
The characters (a cleric of Sarenrae and a dual-wielding kukri fighter) arrive in Barovia. They're fighting zombies and backed into a corner as part of their strategy. The cleric is behind the fighter.
The cleric (played by my brother) casts Bull's Strength on the fighter.
I remind him it's a touch spell. So the player says "I touch him."
I just lob one of those automatic retorts in: "Inappropriately?"
The player of the cleric: "Yes, I reached through his legs to deliver the spell. I just cast Balls' Strength."
Me: "Really?"
Player: "Sure, why not."
I intermittently bring up Balls' Strength since then. I don't recall the fighter saying much of anything about it either way.
One of our characters got sucked into a pit made by a pair of Entomber undead critters. It's now the third round with him alone getting his ass kicked and nobody has a good way of getting to him. My character gets antsy:
Me: I tie my rope around my waist, toss the other end to Ian and jump down the hole.
DM: Uhhhh, how long is your rope?
Me: Let me check...50ft
DM: ...uh, the hole's only 30 ft deep...
Me: Uh-oh.
Ian: *holding end of rope as my character plummets over the edge* There's so much rope!
The cleric (played by my brother) casts Bull's Strength on the fighter.
I remind him it's a touch spell. So the player says "I touch him."
I just lob one of those automatic retorts in: "Inappropriately?"
The player of the cleric: "Yes, I reached through his legs to deliver the spell. I just cast Balls' Strength."
Me: "Really?"
Player: "Sure, why not."I intermittently bring up Balls' Strength since then.
Great. I used to play MEGS (a superhero RPG,) which had a move that allowed a character to negate damage done to him by spending Hero Points. The move was called "Last Ditch Defense." One of my players kept calling it "Last B---- Defense."
Your story, Wolf Munroe, just gave me an image of a super-character who treats his woman badly, and uses her as a human shield.
My mind makes some pretty bizarre associations sometimes.
I don't remember the exact situation, but we were playing with a munchkinesque type player, when another player asked him, "Are we all NPC's to you?"
Back in college (around 1989-1990) I had a half-ogre fighter who was more of a danger to himself than any monster the party ever met.
Our DM used fumbles, and inevitably, at least once per session, my half-ogre would fumble. The last time it happened, he managed to cut off his own head with his battleaxe.
The party decided to get him reincarnated, and he came back as a pixie.
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My game session last night had a hilarious situation when the party opened the sealed latrine. 70 years of funk forced Fort saves from all of them. One of the fighters rolled a one, and proceeded to throw up on the other fighter. He asked for a Reflex save to avoid, and also rolled a one. We ruled that he got it in his mouth, prompting him to throw up on the first fighter in return. Another natural one followed, and both fighters had to go find someplace to wash up before continuing. The whole group was rolling for a few minutes.
Saw this on a friend's wall on Facebook. I present you with...
I remember the first time I ever played Tomb of Horrors. Don't remember what character I played, cause he didn't last long after jumping into a certain black hole.
Those who've played Tomb of Horrors likely know what happened.
Those who don't...
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Playing a GURPS Superhero game, we are trying to stop a powerboat full of terrorists that were attempting to attach a bomb to the side of a Navy destroyer in port.
We disentigrate the explosives harmlessly, and the terrorists attempt to flee, revving up their engine. The archer fires an explosive arrow at the gas tank of the powerboat, hoping to 'stop it.'
The GM pulls out GURPS High-Tech and figures out how much damage that much gasoline exploding will do. Enough to put a hole in the side of a Navy destroyer, apparently.
Some smartass immediately cries out, "You sank my battleship!"
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In another superhero game, Villains & Vigilantes this time, a party member is faced against the mighty Cockroach, who has a costume that *looks like* an armored bug carapace (but has no protective value). Figuring he'd better not take any chances, he hits him with three Disintegration attacks, and does something like 60 pts of damage. The GM says, "He had 7 hit points left. He screams as his atoms are torn apart and all that's left are scraps of flesh and a smear of blood on the pavement."
"But, but, all that armor..."
"That was a costume."
"But Cockroaches are supposed to be hard to kill!"
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Our *superheroes* kill more people than professional comic-book assassins like Deathstroke!
In another superhero game, Villains & Vigilantes this time, a party member is faced against the mighty Cockroach, who has a costume that *looks like* an armored bug carapace (but has no protective value). Figuring he'd better not take any chances, he hits him with three Disintegration attacks, and does something like 60 pts of damage. The GM says, "He had 7 hit points left. He screams as his atoms are torn apart and all that's left are scraps of flesh and a smear of blood on the pavement."
"But, but, all that armor..."
"That was a costume."
"But Cockroaches are supposed to be hard to kill!"
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Our *superheroes* kill more people than professional comic-book assassins like Deathstroke!
You know, I remember reading an old (from the 1980s) issue of Avengers, where someone in an armored suit is tearing up the streets in front of the Avengers mansion, trying to pick a fight with them. Iron Man casually goes out, practically yawning, and easily takes the guy out of action.
When I read that, all I could think was "But how could he KNOW the bad guy was that weak? How can anyone KNOW before actually fighting him?!?"
Could Iron Man have seen the armored guy's character sheet?!?
Good point... but it makes me want to write a story about a similar situation, where the bad guy's armored suit has a hidden weapon, and Iron Man learns a lesson or two in humility and caution.
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In my first ever 3.5 game, I rolled up a brand new Halfling Sorcerer. Knowing nothing about the ruleset, really, I maxed his CHA at the expense of everything else (including CON-an 11, I believe.)
In the first round of the first combat of the first game, he caught a crossbow bolt for 7 damage, and spent the rest of the fight trying to stabilize.
He later died (and was raised) another 3 times total, before hitting level 11.