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Here's what I didn't send in...
Aura moderate conjuration and moderate evocation CL 9th Slot —
Price 21,600 gp; Weight 1 lbsDescription This bouquet of lilies, irises, and roses creates a colorful, but somber funeral arrangement. They are commonly wrapped in delicate, yellow lace and bound with black silk ribbon.
When buried or entombed with a corpse, these seemingly non-magical (anyone casting identify must succeed on DC 18 Will save to see their aura) flowers activate. The flowers preserve the body for nine days, after which the flowers whither and release their magic, returning the corpse to life. Immediately following this, the individual is teleported to a pre-selected location, chosen by the caster at the time of creation.
The individual arrives at this location free of poisons and non-magical diseases, has full hit points, and suffers from only one permanent negative level. Any curses or magical diseases that affected the individual remain.
Construction Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, gentle repose, magic aura, raise dead, restoration, teleport; creator must have 8 ranks in Profession (Florist) and Knowledge (Religion) Cost 10,800 gp
Another flower item. :)
I like the story-telling implications of this item: big showy funeral for a PC or a major NPC, and then he/she reappears a week and a half later.
Would the flowers protect the character from undead spawning effects? That may have been a question the judges would get caught up on. The other thing is Profession (Florist) severely limits the number of creators. Maybe use Knowledge (nature) instead?
As always, nothing too specific, just an overview.. in case my critique is critiqued.
Saying this nicely, I think this might seem cool to you because you can better visualize it and how you would use it or see it adjudicated. This was really the first self-rejected item that sent up the 'ripe for abuse' red flag. I immediately grabbed my Core Book and went thumbing through it for what it had to say about mixing postions.
I think it could be absued by munchkins frankly. And I know that wasn't your intent. I can see a munchkin dumping the random potions out and then pre-loading it with some specific potions that they specifically want. After they're aware of the possible poison effect, they find a way to test it in advance prior to drinking it. Any time you can activate multiple spell effects all in one standard action, you're asking for possible abuse.
I'm sure there are exceptions to the rule, but the 1:1 ratio of spell effects to standard actions is part of the internal game balance system. I think anyway. Compare it to the requirements of a Quickened Spell, which would allow you to cast two spells in one round - you need a feat and to use a much higher level spell slot. This item does something similiar pretty easily in comparison.
But the good news is I think you made the right call! I look forward to the actual item you submitted and wish you the best of luck!
Yeah, abuse was a big concern for me too, but after all you still have to pay for the potions and have a pretty big risk of loosing them (even if you somehow make out it's a poison, before drinking, which is pretty hard, since it's determined (it transforms), when you drink it, you still loose your potions and with them your money.
How many munchkins are willing to take this risk? How many munchkins risk a mere 10% Spell failure for a possible +9 to AC ? (mithral chain shirt +5)i think you can reasonably fit 2 to 3 potions in the drink, everything more is taking a hefty risk.
But yeah, abuseability's one big reason i didn't submit this item.
And the main reason, why i considered to submit it was that it used rules unique to pathfinder ( poisons) in all other respects my other item was better. (esp. in its last incarnation)
Taig, the old rules for mixing potions were what inspired me to do this item.
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2012
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This item came off as an attempt to incorporate the cavalier class and I stopped editing and working on it once I read Sean's post for auto rejecting anything dealing with the beta classes.
Token of Knightly Prowess
Description:
These items (silk scarves mostly) were originally commissioned by noble women wishing for the safe return of their knights from the field of battle. Tied around the upper arm, or worn as a scarf, these items bolstered spirits and gave resolve to those who wore them. These were rare items that spoke more of courtly love and the promise of a lady's affections, than how it would help spill enemy blood. This item grants a morale bonus of +2 to hit with all spear and pole-arm class weapons as well as a +2 morale bonus to saving throws vs. fear effects.In addition, the token acts as a phylactery of faithfulness for any action that would break a characters class based code of conduct or Cavalier’s edict. The token has no divine insight towards actions that would displease the owner's god.
Lastly, the token grants the effects of the diehard feat and automatically stabilizes the wearer when they are reduced below zero hit points. When the diehard power is activated, the wearer becomes immune to fear effects until raised above zero hit points or death occurs.
Faint Divination, Transmutation, and Enchantment – Price: 8,500gp – Cost: 4,250gp - Slot: Wrists or Neck – Weight: ----
Requirements:
CL: 5th, Craft Wonderous Item, detect law, detect chaos, detect evil, detect good, stabilize, calm emotions.
I'd bet this would be a good item for next year's contest, and I'd also bet that the new base classes will be fair game next year, since they will be published.
I like this item. The only thing that sticks out to me is that this item acts identical to another wondrous item, just under a slightly different set of circumstances. Also, the entry doesn't follow the template (the aura, price, slot and weight should go after the item's name, etc.).
Name: Spoon of Dungeon Eating
As always, just an overview.. nothing too technical.. in case my critique is critiqued.
Hmm.. I like to say something positive, but here I might just have to settle on nothing too negative.
First off, the name is no good. It's got to go.
Secondly.. this is great example of a swiss army knife item. It is built along a loose theme. After a second reading I see where you're coming from: this is a tool that you can use to escape from a prison with. Once I understood that, it makes a lot more sense.. but in this particular game the context of the word 'Dungeon' carries different contexts. Your name isn't coming across that this is a Great Escape / Count of Monte Cristo / Shawshank Redemption device.
This is more instinctual than anything. It sounds like a swiss-army knife, and that's not good. It's a spoon on one end and a file on another end, and you can eat it to avoid searching. I'm not sure that a PC would actually keep this item, because I think it would be considered more valuable as something to sell for gold, than to actually keep around. On the other hand, on the outside chance that you actually need this one day, I imagine it would be great to have. I just don't see a PC keeping it "just in case."
While the flavor isn't working for me. That doesn't mean that the item you actually submitted doesn't totally rock!
I wish you good luck in the competition!
As always, an overview rather than a really technical dissection. In case my critique is critiqued..
This is a really interesting and cool idea Jason!
The biggest problem here is that this is a plot device. A really cool one, but still a plot device. Here's why I say that: you can't find these flowers as treasure the way I'm interpreting your text, even though I can see an argument against that. Rather this is something I see somebody crafting for a specialized or unique situation.
Otherwise why not just use raise dead and restoration and simply be done with it?
Ah ha! But you can bury these flowers with somebody (who was perhaps executed?) and secretly raise them from the dead without anybody knowing about it.. and then everybody still thinks they're dead. VERY COOL! I really mean it, that's brilliant!
But that's a plot device. And it wouldn't fly.
I'd love to see the players or villains actually think this plan up and actually use it, but at the risk of beating a dead horse, that's because it would be a cool story plot point.
That in no way suggests that your actual item isn't supercool and a winner. You got some creative ideas cookin'. I wish you the best of luck in the contest!
Yeah, abuse was a big concern for me too, but after all you still have to pay for the potions and have a pretty big risk of loosing them (even if you somehow make out it's a poison, before drinking, which is pretty hard, since it's determined (it transforms), when you drink it, you still loose your potions and with them your money.
I must have missed that part.. but as you say, I wouldn't try it with more than three potions. However, three potions going off at once is enough to radically change your encounter.
And what if you don't mix potions? What if they're the same potion? Multiple doses of the same healing potion going off at one time is also a potential balance tipper. When you get the benefit of three cure moderate wounds potions all in one standard action, you just changed the game and the fight. Talk about your can of spinach! :D
Anyway, thanks for taking the critique well and judging from your critiques of the other items, I'm sure you have a good sense of what is a good item.
Token of Knightly Prowess
As always, just an overview.. nothing too technical.
Curt, this frackin' rocks. At a glance the only problem I see with this is that it is ahead of it's time and would be an instant disqualifier.
I hope no one steals it from you for next year (assuming you don't win this year!). Or that the thief gets disqualified if they do. Its too late now, but I'd play this one close to your chest.
EDIT: Taig might have a point that it reproduces another wondrous item. Somehow that is bugging me less for some reason. Your description resonates very well, and for me, sort of overcomes that possible disadvantage. I'd probably make it an exception to the rule.
But yeah.. You should conform to the Paizo standard template.
Good luck!
And what if you don't mix potions? What if they're the same potion? Multiple doses of the same healing potion going off at one time is also a potential balance tipper. When you get the benefit of three cure moderate wounds potions all in one standard action, you just changed the game and the fight. Talk about your can of spinach! :D
i want to let this discussion rest, and instead turn to the other non-submissions, but i love to talk about this and i think much can be learned from an detailed analysis :)
Sure 9d8+15 Points of healing are great and a possible encounter changer, but you spent 2250 gp on this effect and it seems to me like a last resort effect, kinda playing with the fire: you can heal yourself up by a considerable amount, but have a 15% chance to be subjected to a potent poison, in a situation were you are in desperate need of healing.How stands this effect in relation to throwing a bead of force?
Or spending 1500GP and UMDing a scroll of heal?
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Thanks for the reviews. As for the template, I stopped editing this before looking at the template, and thus, didnt even try to put the effort into this item before posting it here. Glad some of you liked the Token of knightly prowess, and if someone tried to nab it for next year, well, that is up to them. I would probably make a different item entirely.
Thanks, CC
You should have referenced the effects of weather, just to make clear that these apply with your item. rain would be Half vision and -4 to perception +severe wind ( a downpour has the added effects of fog), but in this case the costing should be based upon these effects ( and their spells : fog cloud and gust of wind)
I did reference the effects of weather, the page number is right there. And gust of wind is inappropriate; "the same effect on flames, ranged weapon attacks, and Perception checks as severe wind" is not the same as an actual severe wind. It doesn't blow away creatures or objects, it doesn't cause Fly checks, it's not even close to gust of wind.
Obscuring mist-in-a-can (20' radius), once per day: 400 gp.
Elder's rainstick downpour (10' radius), once per day: 600 gp.
I think it's dead-on. We'll see in a couple of weeks if that's the opinion of a Superstar contender, or just some dude on the forums perpetuating an argument. ;)
Spoon of Dungeon Eating
Yeah, first glance says "joke item" but with reading it, it becomes clear, that this is quite a serious item. I think it's mainly the name.
It is neat as an getaway item, but how often do you need those. Adding to that it also opens the opportunity to ruin a well planned dungeon, simply by digging through some walls, it will take some time though.
For getaway i think i would rather try to hide a scroll of dimension door in my boots than have this item around, and thats sad, because eating your way to freedom is much cooler than 'porting out.
Flowers of the False Funeral
I think most things about this have already been said. it's more of a plot device than a Wondrous Item you would buy or find.
As a plot device it does it's job quite well. flavorful and cool. (i wonder how long it would take the PCs to figure out, what happened :) )
I did reference the effects of weather, the page number is right there.
...Obscuring mist-in-a-can (20' radius), once per day: 400 gp.
Elder's rainstick downpour (10' radius), once per day: 600 gp.
I think it's dead-on. We'll see in a couple of weeks if that's the opinion of a Superstar contender, or just some dude on the forums perpetuating an argument. ;)
Edit: You confused me and I'm tired, bah! Obscuring mist is more appropriate than fog cloud, and is what I compared the price to during design.
Somehow i missed that reference. And about the price, you might be right, using the formular you indeed are dead on - to close, since the penalties on perception and ranged attacks are hard to quantify.
But i still have the feeling the item should cost more,(about 1.000 to 1.200 says my gut) even if i can't say why.But the more i think about it the more i like it. It's definitely a great item.
Hmm. Rain works as severe wind with regards to perception and ranged attacks,(as well as putting out fires) which is exactly the level of wind a gust of wind creates so it's a pretty good start for pricing.
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RPG Superstar 2013
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka Steven T. Helt
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Token of Knightly Prowess
I think it's certainly a Swiss army knife - providing a feat, a combat bonus and a few unrelated spell-effects. I don't thin I'd let a cavalier in one of my games have one item that does all of that.
Now, maybe if the item followed some progression. Like if yu acquire other sacred nkightly items that shared an affinity with said scarf, or if the item grew more powerful over time as you met some pre-requisites.
I think magic item suites and items that add abilities when you meet pre-requisites have a place in the game, but I am not sure Superstar is that place. Imagine having to judge even twenty such items and keeping track of their suites, or requirements and new powers, and whether those powers broke the game in conjunction. Now, a separate book on alternate rules for magic items, introducing those two classes of items, that might sell well.
i want to let this discussion rest, and instead turn to the other non-submissions, but i love to talk about this and i think much can be learned from an detailed analysis :)
Sure 9d8+15 Points of healing are great and a possible encounter changer, but you spent 2250 gp on this effect and it seems to me like a last resort effect, kinda playing with the fire: you can heal yourself up by a considerable amount, but have a 15% chance to be subjected to a potent poison, in a situation were you are in desperate need of healing.
How stands this effect in relation to throwing a bead of force?
Or spending 1500GP and UMDing a scroll of heal?
Okay.. one last post and I'll leave it alone too. :D
I see what you mean. I had not realized that adding identical effects would still invoke the 5% chance of self-poisoning. The text suggest that mixing effects would do that.. but really adding any effect has that chance. Now to me, at that point that's just an item that has too many disadvantages to mess with. If they're the identical potion, why would there be a possible dangerous poisonous reaction? It adds game balance at the expense of questionable logic.
As for who would pay for that super-charged healing? Nobody. But check any Paizo AP, especially the low level chapters, and there's tons of healing potions to be found. I can see players collecting identical potions and saving them for a 'super-shot'. In a heartbeat.
Also, when I mentioned that a munchkin could test whether it was poison in advance, you said it only transforms just prior to actually drinking it. Why is that? I can be in the Village of Whatever, and I pour an enlarge person potion in with a potion bull's strength potion, but they don't actually mix and transform until such time that I actually want to drink it? As a player, I'd be asking what kind of goofy logic is that. The reason being is that the mechanic isn't being invoked until it is inconvenient. That strikes me as a dirty GM-trick. Sure, it balances the item and prevents prior checking for poison, but at the expense of breaking a suspension of disbelief and implementing deus ex machina. Lastly, maybe I'm missing that in your text, but I'm not reading this 'transforms only when you go to drink it' in the description.
Even if you have an answer for everything, put yourself in the role of an Editor or a Judge. If there are this many questions regarding how it works, and this much 'back and forth' about how to adjudicate the item in the game.. it could be a sign that you need a cleaner and more straight forward design. There's too much open for interpretation and speculation here.
Now please.. I have a strong message board 'voice'. The last thing I want to be is a jerk, so please understand I'd be saying this in a friendly tone... without an attitude. I'm just trying to help us both learn, as you said. You seem genuinely interested with the issues with this item from a learning perspective. :D
Now.. I'll leave this one alone from here on. :D
RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16
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Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8
aka FaxCelestis
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Aura Faint Evocation; CL 5th
Slot No slot; Price 1875 gp; Weight 0.5 lbs.
This small crystal bottle appears to be filled with sparking, blue electricity. Bottled lightning can be used in one of three ways:
Bottled lightning can be drunk like a potion. If used in this fashion, it provides a haste effect to the imbiber for five rounds. In addition, during the same duration, the imbiber's melee attacks also deal an additional 1d6 points of electrical damage.
A bottle of bottled lightning can also be used as a weapon: uncorking the bottle unleashes its energy in a line of electricity, dealing 5d6 electricity damage to all creatures in a 30' line (DC 14 Reflex for half).
Lastly, a bottle of bottled lightning can be thrown as a grenade-like weapon. Doing so shatters the bottle and sends electricity in all directions. Creatures within a 10' radius of the point of impact take 4d6 electrical damage (DC 14 Reflex for half) and 1d6 points of slashing damage from the shards of the bottle.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, haste, lightning bolt; Cost 938 gp
I felt this was too "spell in a can", so I went with something else.
Must...resist...desire...to...comment...on...these...items....
Ah, there. Made my Will save. Whew.
I felt this was too "spell in a can", so I went with something else.
This is a perfect example of many of the items we got this year. This is a GREAT item and if we were doing an open call for a book of items it would be in for sure. I like this item alot. In fact, it might even get sent into the keep folder for a while.
But really it is just a spell or a few spells wrapped into one item. Good tight theme. Good design.
The first year there were so many bad items. The second year there were so many items that had a neat idea but failed for a big reason (which led to my often used "reject, and its too bad, too). This year we have lots of these types of items--good, competently designed items. My comment this year is "good, but is it good enough?" That is why I posted that you guys are making it hard on us this year.
I guess I failed my Will save after all. Darned delayed blast spells.
I guess I failed my Will save after all. Darned delayed blast spells.
Just wait until you fail the Fortitude save on that Delayed Blast Burrito we slipped into your lunch!
(And if by Murphy's Ghost, someone actually submitted that as an item, it wasn't me. But if someone *did* submit that as an item, let me know, so I can go by a lottery ticket.)
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2012
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I guess I failed my Will save after all. Darned delayed blast spells.Just wait until you fail the Fortitude save on that Delayed Blast Burrito we slipped into your lunch!
(And if by Murphy's Ghost, someone actually submitted that as an item, it wasn't me. But if someone *did* submit that as an item, let me know, so I can go by a lottery ticket.)
You would have known if someone submitted that item, because there would have been an explosion--Clark's head exploding in rage! :)
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As always, an overview rather than a really technical dissection. In case my critique is critiqued..
This is a really interesting and cool idea Jason!
The biggest problem here is that this is a plot device. A really cool one, but still a plot device. Here's why I say that: you can't find these flowers as treasure the way I'm interpreting your text, even though I can see an argument against that. Rather this is something I see somebody crafting for a specialized or unique situation.
Otherwise why not just use raise dead and restoration and simply be done with it?
Ah ha! But you can bury these flowers with somebody (who was perhaps executed?) and secretly raise them from the dead without anybody knowing about it.. and then everybody still thinks they're dead. VERY COOL! I really mean it, that's brilliant!
But that's a plot device. And it wouldn't fly.
I'd love to see the players or villains actually think this plan up and actually use it, but at the risk of beating a dead horse, that's because it would be a cool story plot point.
That in no way suggests that your actual item isn't supercool and a winner. You got some creative ideas cookin'. I wish you the best of luck in the contest!
Thanks for the feedback. I didn't send these in for the very reasons you mentioned. They're cool, but they're not very "PC" orientated.
I felt this was too "spell in a can", so I went with something else.
I'm glad you chose another item. Don't get me wrong, this item is excellent in both execution and concept, but it lacks in the wondrous department... It just reads like a splendid, tactics-oriented expendable item. Handy, but not wondrous in the dictionary sense.
Kudos for the design skills anyway!
I guess I failed my Will save after all. Darned delayed blast spells.
Of course, now all the rest of us have to make our Will saves to avoid begging you to look at our junk when you should be Judging.
Dastardly!
Of course, now all the rest of us have to make our Will saves to avoid begging you to look at our junk when you should be Judging.
Must ... resist ... comment ... [rolls dice]
That was close. :P
Nothing to see here. Or is there?
i want to let this discussion rest, and instead turn to the other non-submissions, but i love to talk about this and i think much can be learned from an detailed analysis :)
Sure 9d8+15 Points of healing are great and a possible encounter changer, but you spent 2250 gp on this effect and it seems to me like a last resort effect, kinda playing with the fire: you can heal yourself up by a considerable amount, but have a 15% chance to be subjected to a potent poison, in a situation were you are in desperate need of healing.
How stands this effect in relation to throwing a bead of force?
Or spending 1500GP and UMDing a scroll of heal?
Okay.. one last post and I'll leave it alone too. :D
I see what you mean. I had not realized that adding identical effects would still invoke the 5% chance of self-poisoning. The text suggest that mixing effects would do that.. but really adding any effect has that chance. Now to me, at that point that's just an item that has too many disadvantages to mess with. If they're the identical potion, why would there be a possible dangerous poisonous reaction? It adds game balance at the expense of questionable logic.
As for who would pay for that super-charged healing? Nobody. But check any Paizo AP, especially the low level chapters, and there's tons of healing potions to be found. I can see players collecting identical potions and saving them for a 'super-shot'. In a heartbeat.
Also, when I mentioned that a munchkin could test whether it was poison in advance, you said it only transforms just prior to actually drinking it. Why is that? I can be in the Village of Whatever, and I pour an enlarge person potion in with a potion bull's strength potion, but they don't actually mix and transform until such time that I actually want to drink it? As a player, I'd be asking what kind of goofy logic is that. The reason being is that the mechanic isn't being invoked until it is inconvenient. That strikes me as a dirty...
Hmm. it's quite funny how, when somebody tells you s.th., you notice that you have already thought about it to some degree?
I had thought about all of these, and i think they too were responsible, why i never was completely satisfied with this item. There are perfectly good explanations for all these effects ( the reason there are no barrels of cure light wounds, the potions transforming the moment the leave the vials enchantments... ) but they aren't immediately clear, and there was no room for clarifications.the sheer fact that i need to explain facets of this item really make clear, why it's not Superstar material, and why i didn't submit it.
I'm perfectly fine with your voice, you give me exactly the feedback i was hoping for :)
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I also briefly considered a puzzle box...
I hadn't got as far as complete stat blocks for these, but hopefully the concepts are of interest:
Advancing Standard
This battle-flag of simple design streams from a pikestaff capped with an adamantine spike.
Allies within 20 feet gain a +2 morale bonus to Combat Maneuvers, Combat Maneuver Defense and Will saves against fear.
Once per day, the standard can emit a spreading shockwave accompanied by a low rumble in a 60-foot cone, excluding a cone up to 20 feet out from the standard, that otherwise has the effect of a shout spell.
The bearer can drive the spike into any surface, where it stands by itself, still considered wielded, and can only be removed by an enemy of the bearer by making a DC 25 Strength check.
Prerequisites: bless, shout
Xorn Claw Gauntlet
This protective item, crafted from pebbly dark-gray hide, covers the hand and arm of a Medium-sized user to the shoulder. Though it looks thick and stiff, it allows free movement as the finest calfskin.
The gauntlet passes through stone and metal without hindrance and is immune to fire damage. While plunged into a solid surface, it grants the wearer tremorsense in a 5-foot radius, allowing him to perceive anything within reach of the gauntlet.
This was more of an idle thought while reading through the Equipment chapter:
Ever-Flaring Torch
This ordinary-looking light source burns constantly with a wide, energetic flame without producing heat or consuming its fuel. It sheds light as a torch. As a standard action, a user can swing it vigorously to let loose one to three free-floating masses of heatless flame, equivalent to torches, within his reach. The user can move the group of flames by hand gestures within a range of 100 feet, maintaining them no further apart than when first evoked, and if he moves out of range the flames automatically follow. The floating flames persist for one minute or until the user reabsorbs them into the torch.
Prerequisites: continual flame, dancing lights
This one i rejected since the only good name i could come up with sounded way too similar to Neil's winning item from last year and I wasn't sure what spell to use for the second effect.
Aura moderate divination; CL 10th
Slot -; Price ?? gp; Weight 0 lbs.
A small smokey gas held in a clear glass vial. Pouring this gas into the mouth of a corpse allows you to ask the corpse questions for 10 minutes.
A living creature inhaling the gas takes 1d4 wisdom damage and gains a +5 competence bonus to all knowledge checks until the wisdom damage is healed.
Either method uses up the Last Breath.
Requirements Craft Wonderous Item, speak with dead; Cost ?? gp
This one seemed too costly for its effect (the low save) and I wasn't sure how much to deduct for the drawback.
Aura faint evocation and enchantment; CL 1st
Slot eyes; Price 14,000 gp; Weight 0 lbs.
These multifaceted lenses fit directly over the wearer's eyes, both lenses must be worn for full effect. While within sunlight or bright light such as the daylight spell the wearer gains a gaze special quality, 30 foot range, Will save DC 10. Those that fail the save are dazzled for one round. The active gaze of the wearer requires a Will save DC 11, failure results in the target losing their next action. The wearer of the Glimpse of the Sun also gain's the light sensitivity special quality due to the facets reflecting both ways.
Requirements Craft Wonderous Item, flare, daze monster; Cost 7,000 gp
Much like everyone else, I went through a whole line of concepts before settling on one. A lot of my never-borns, however, were bad. Really bad. 'Too bad to list here' bad. (Just to prove the point: the hobbyhorse that enabled the user to basically cast phantom steed at-will was one of the better of the bad slush pile. Yes, You heard me right. Somehow I thought that a magical hobbyhorse spell in a box was a good idea. Not intended as a gag item. I actually started to write that one up before I suddenly had a moment of OMG, what am I DOING? clarity. Dude, a HOBBYHORSE.)
Then there were the ones I liked that I never fleshed put because they were inherently flawed somehow. Examples of this included:
The Map of Unseen Ways
Basically a magic map which, unlike most magic map items, didn't go automatically drawing out the unexplored dungeon for the user, instead only showing the vicinity the user could actually see himself. What it did do, however, was allow the user flashes of vision of parallel universe possibilities and bring those possibilities temporarily into the real world by re-writing the map. Basically, it allowed someone to alter the terrain in their immediate vicinity. Doors could vanish, corridors could straighten out and become hundreds of feet longer or shorter, etc. Doing this was mentally taxing, however, and inflicted wisdom damage on the user. in the end, I figured this would be too difficult to fit in the word count limitations without just making it a multiple-spell-in-a-box item. ('The user can cast passwall, knock, move earth...' etc.)In all fairness, this would probably be more of an artifct too.
The Summoner's Tales
A magical book of legends, fables and tall tales which allowed a skilled user to bring the stories inside to life. I was figuring a perform check to activate it, with a higher check being needed to be able to access the better powers. Lower DC checks for illusions, mid-range checks for shadow conjurations, with the highest results causing actual beasties to be summoned. Abandoned before ever being written up for the same reasons as my map- too complex to do in 300 words or less without just having it be a list of possible spell effects. Still, the english lit nerd in me dearly loved the name of this one.
Then finally there the two entries I actually wrote out in full before discarding:
Aura Strong conjuration CL 9th
Slot none Price 2,500 gp; Weight 1/25th lb.
The Ferryman's Coins are a pair of archaic copper coins. On the back of the coins is an illegible inscription, and a worn, smoothed, near-indistinguishable face is engraved on the front. The coins activate when placed upon the eyelids of a deceased creature. The dead body then vanishes, leaving all possessions behind. The coins themselves change to look freshly minted, with the embossed front now seen to be the face of the deceased, and the inscription on the back marking the date of death. From then on, the coins serve in place of having the actual body for purposes of casting gentle repose, raise dead or resurrection. Any time limit since death a spell may have still applies. Both coins need to be within a foot of one another when a spell is cast upon them, otherwise the spell will have no effect, though the coins will still retain the body for a later attempt. When a person is raised via the coins, their body reappears underneath the pair, and the coins themselves roll off and become nonmagical.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Secret Chest Cost 1,250 gp
...so some explanation on this one. After missing the deadline to enter last year, I wrote this up as a mental exercise while waiting to see the top 32. And I like it. Fully intended to use it this year. And then back in November while waiting for this years contest to start I go back and look at the year one and two entries again, and discover this is a really uncomfortably similar entry to the 2008 contest's Shroud of Old Souls by Neil McLean. there are a few differences, but they both ultimately fill the same role and even some of the mechanics are similar. Now... I'd like to think I came up with my coins uninfluenced by the shroud, but the fact was I had read it back during the first year's contest and I can't be 100% sure that it hasn't been rattling around in my subconscious and inspiring me. Plagiarism being a Bad Thing, I sadly set it down and walked away.
Aura moderate transmutation and abjuration; CL 9th
Slot neck; Price 24,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
This neck ornament is usually made out of solid gold strands braided together and left open at the wearer's throat. Two knobs mark either side of the opening and are sometimes formed into animal heads or flowers, but are as often as not left plain and unadorned. When worn by a druid, the torc allows the wearer to turn their own fluidity of form outwards and affect the world around them. By expending a daily use of wild shape as a swift action to activate the torc, a druid can, for the next ten rounds, spontaneously cast both baleful polymorph and break enchantment in the same manner that they cast summon nature's ally spells. Break enchantment is effectively added to the druid's spell list for the duration of the effect. Both spells may only be spontaneously cast in fifth or higher level spell slots.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, bbaleful polymorph, dispel magic; Cost 12,000 gp
This one I liked and still like too, and it probably could have stood from some more development, but I started looking at it as a spell-in-a-can a little ways in. One with a slightly different mechanic, to be sure, but still just something that allows you to cast spells you don't have memorized. Which was when I started writing up item #3, which was the one I ultimately went with. I'm not sure if it's the best possible item I could have come up with, but I can tell you this much: it's better than a magical hobbyhorse.
Wow, lots of neat items. If all of the submitted items are better, I can really see why the judges are having a hard time.
Here are my brief impressions:
Transcendent Bloom
As already mentioned, this seems to be overpriced for what it does.
Also, these sentences made me frown:
"The transcendent bloom whispers of its gift of enlightenment each time its owner uses this ability, and many who use the flower succumb to the temptation to use the rose’s ultimate power."
"Due to the target’s awareness of its fading sentience as the transcendent bloom’s power fades, many druids find the use of the rose’s signature power distasteful and work to dissuade their fellows from creating any."
First, the ultimate power does not seem that tempting to me. And second, that text is not about the item, but concerns the motivations and feelings of the users - and that is a red flag to me.
Comical Painting
Fun (no pun intended) trap item, but more of a plot item or room feature than something PC's would use
Puzzle Box
interesting possibilities, but probably hard to pull off - also seems to be a theme item this year.
Magic Harness
As I recall, there was at least one pair of shackles submitted last year that did the same thing.
Seaskimmer's Sails
Neat item.
Entangling Embrace of the Earth Mother
Pretty much agree with the comments already made about this - neat language and nice idea, but basically a souped up tanglefoot bag/Rope of entanglement. And the mechanics need some work.
Idol of the Apostate
This didn't grab me like I can see it did some of the other posters - but then again, I'm not that familiar with the effects of consecrate/dececrate. But a nice way for a band of heroes to take away BBEG's home advantage or vice versa.
Reliquary Coffin
Agree that this feels more like a room feature/plot item than a wondrous item.
Magma Seed
A portable river of lava - cool! (well, hot actually). Very nice.
Magefoam
Didn't do much for me - I can see that this has a lot of utility potential, but it's also stuff that will probably drive any GM insane.
Elder's Rainstick
Absolutely awesome, just for the Firefly reference alone. A well composed and useful item.
Drink of Many Draughts
'nuff said, I think.
Spoon of Dungeon Eating
First impression was that this was WAY underpriced for all the things it does - haven't done the math, but my gut says it should cost at least ten times as much, since there is no limit to anye of the powers. Also, as noted, this could wreck havoc with a well-planned dungeon, and fells a it like a Swiss Army Knife. But a nice getaway item.
Flowers of the False Funeral
Agree that this is a cool plot item - but still a plot item.
Token of Knightly Prowess
Props for designing a well themed item for the new Cavalier class. Too bad it was a bit ahead of its time.
Bottled Lightning
Can't say it better than Clark - great item.
Advancing Standard
Feels a bit Spell-in-a-Can
Xorn Claw Gauntlet
What slots does this use, since it covers the entire arm? Also, if it passes through metal, does it also bypass metal armor?
Ever-Flaring Torch
Again, a bit Spell-in-a-Can
Last Breath of the Venerated Dead
Can you use this as a weapon? What rules would apply to trying to force this down someones throat? Could be a good way to hurt a wisdom-based spellcaster.
Glimpse of the Sun
I agree that the price is pretty high for the save DC
Map of Unseen Ways
Like the Dungeon-eating Spoon, this could wreck havoc to a well-designed dungeom, and would also be very hard to pull off in 300 words.
The Summoner's Tales
Very cool idea, but yeah, the word count would get in the way here as well.
Ferryman's Coins
Very nicely designed item, and great use of the custom of placing coins on the eyes of the deceased. I actually like this better than the Shroud of Old Souls.
Torc of Transformations
I can see your reservations - this also seems a bit Spell-in-a-Can to me.
Eye of the Vanguard Sentinel
the +2 stealth is nice but doesn't fit well thematically (in my eyes at least)
it seems to be underpriced for what it does. maybe remove that magical sights are transmitted as well.
Otherwise its a nice sense-sharing and communication item, not too original but a nice incarnation of the idea.
The +2 stealth is added, because the item will mostly be used by hidden scouts.
As to the price, I specifically cut down the features and daily uses of the item in order to make it cheaper. I'd love to hear more comments on whether the price is too high or too low.
I am a D&D orphan so this is the first year I'd been around the Paizo contest. When I heard about the contest and read the official rules I rattled off this entry. Once done, I then researched that which came before me to see how it stacked up and to my horror found that it was a "spell in a can" item that was so reviled and contained background elements (since edited out). I liked my idea that these would be passed down from master to apprentice, with each one adding a new feature of utility to the item. Alas, I did not feel that the concept was strong enough to blow my first attempt on an uphill try. Also the fact that it could be used as a weapon and had similarities to some rods blurred the Wondrous item appellation.
Thanks
Aura Moderate abjuration, evocation and transmutation magic; CL 7th
Slot -; Price 29,000gp; Weight 2lb.
Description
This umbrella is as long as a walking cane. It has a curved handle made of bone, mithril ribbing and a fine leather canopy. It acts as a simple club dealing 1d6 points of bludgeoning damage and is enchanted as a +1 magical weapon. Its handle can be used to make trip attacks. It serves to protect from weather effects and, when opened and used in one hand, grants a +2 equipment bonus to concentration checks to cast spells in foul weather. In addition these umbrellas often have numerous enchantments placed upon them by the wizards who create them. This entry describes a typical specimen. Unless otherwise stated, opening and activating an ability is a standard action and deactivating is a move action.
The following effects can each be used once per day
Tiny hut, cast when the umbrella is opened and hung in midair
Hypnotic pattern, cast when the umbrella is opened and spun in the direction of the target(s)
Feather fall will activate and the umbrella will open automatically as long as it is held and the wielder falls from any height
Globe of invulnerability, lesser cast when the umbrella is opened and hung in midair
The following effects have no limit to the number of times they can be used
Light, emanates from the metal tip
Mending, both on the umbrella itself and when the tip is tapped on an object
Arcane mark, when the tip is pressed into a surface like a firebrand
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Craft Wondrous Item, tiny hut, hypnotic pattern, feather fall, globe of invulnerability, lesser, light, mending, arcane mark; Cost 14500gp
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Xorn Claw Gauntlet
What slots does this use, since it covers the entire arm? Also, if it passes through metal, does it also bypass metal armor?
Good point - it would take up both hand and wrist slots. You can't use one of a pair for most other items in those slots.
That hand would ignore the armour bonus of metal armour, so it would enhance unarmed attacks against a subset of PC race opponents. For the same reason it would do no unarmed damage to a number of constructs.
Freaky. On my list of items I didn't submit: a ferryman's coin that preserves corpses and a torc item that involves transformation effects....Ferryman's Coins...
...Torc of Transformations...
...wow. Deeply weird. (Curses! My nefarious plan to make the top 32 by hijacking the contents of one of last year's contestants hard drive has been discovered!) Yeah, really, really weird. Now I'm looking forward to eventually seeing your actual submission to see if our mutual train of thought kept on a parallel track all the way in.
Elder's Rainstick
Absolutely awesome, just for the Firefly reference alone. A well composed and useful item.
1. Thanks!
2. I have never seen even a single episode of Firefly so apparently I don't get my own reference...
Elder's Rainstick
Absolutely awesome, just for the Firefly reference alone. A well composed and useful item.1. Thanks!
2. I have never seen even a single episode of Firefly so apparently I don't get my own reference...
I've seen all the Firefly eps more than once, and I'm not sure what reference on the Elder Rainstick ...
I've seen all the Firefly eps more than once, and I'm not sure what reference on the Elder Rainstick ...
If I recall correctly, it's in Our Mrs. Reynolds. Jayne is given a rainstick at the same celebration that Mal gets his wife.
Okay, I'm afraid I'm going to be redundant all over the place here for the various items that have already been gone over, so I'll try and keep myself to stuff that hasn't been said. If I don't mention an item, that's probably because someone else already summed up my thoughts and did it better than me.
Eye of the Vanguard Sentinel
Interestingly enough, I didn't even jump to the 'animal companion/familiar' aspect; I imagined the party rogue going off sneaking down the halls with this on their head. As far as the headband issue, I'd assume you could just as easily wrap this around a bird or raccoon's chest or neck and it would be work just as well. I think it's solid; maybe not overly sexy, but not a mess either. As far as pricing goes... well, not the best person to comment on that myself, since I'm pretty sure I tend to badly underprice mine, but I think it's just a tad low by a few thousand or so. I'd personally put it at about half the price of a standard crystal ball. (Certainly not any higher than that, given the many limitations this has over the more typical scrying device.)
Transcendent Bloom
I like the item itself, though the descriptive prose used is a little flowery (no pun intended) for my personal tastes. I think the price might actually be okay, just going off of the non-awaken uses. As far as the awaken effect goes, I agree with the other comments that using up a 40K magic item should either grant permanent awakening or else the rose should renew itself after the creature dumbs down again. Given that the Algernon-effect is one of the neatest things about this item, I'd be inclined toward the latter. (And now I want an awakened rock. That would be kinda awesome.)
Puzzle box
Well, personally I like puzzle boxes so I'm biased towards this one. FWIW, I think your concept could have fit in under 300 with a little work. And it's nice to see a puzzle box that doesn't, y'know, open a one way door to the dimension of eternal pain. (Hellraiser= Worst. Artifact. Ever.)
Seaskimmer's Sails
I don't think they're so much a canned spell as they are utility and situational. I like them, I'm always a sucker for nautical magic, but it's one of those 'would the players get a lot of use out of this' items.
Idol of the Apostate
I LOVE the name. And it lives up to the name quite nicely. it might be slightly situational, but I think it's fair to say that adventurers hit up the Evil High Priest's Temple at lest every two or three adventures, so it's not like its 'big' power wouldn't see use.
tejón's stuff
Man, I would really like to see you in the top 32. That's all. Okay, that's not all. Magic rainstick! And I want a magma seed right now. Even your stuff that wasn't quite as high on the cool factor seems really well thought out. (And is magefoam inspired by floam?)
Token of Knightly Prowess
I was toying creating an Oracle-themed item, so I feel your pain on this. It's quite nice for all it's unofficial-as-of-yet qualities.
Advancing Standard
I have to admit, I'm not personally a fan of banner/flag type items. Cool if you're playing a campaign that involves a big battlefield; a little weird and clunky for my tastes in a standard dungeon. So acknowledging my bias against this type, this doesn't really jump out and grab me.
Xorn Claw Gauntlet
Now this one's interesting, though I think it's one of those items that would need a lot more room to explain the permutations of than you'd have in a 300 word entry. You've addressed the touch attack issue; I'm wondering about other practical uses. Could it say, reach through a metal door, grab something small on the other side, and pull it back through?
Ever-Flaring Torch
I actually like this one. Yes, it's just an everburning torch with dancing lights added in as a bonus, but there's something kinda neat about it. I think I just like the use of it- this torch can basically illuminate a much wider area than standard for a torch or even a lantern.
Last Breath of the Venerated Dead
I like the wisdom damage for bonus knowledge part of it; but then, i have a penchant for things that drive the user insane. I agree with Jace that I'd want to see it defined whether or not that can be used as a weapon.
Glimpse of the Sun
I have to admit I don't love the name; aside from that, i like items that give the user a gaze attack, so it's got potential. You'd definitely wanjt to do something about the cost; I think the fact that the user is light-sensitive when wearing them would allow you to drop this down to 2,000 or less, honestly. But again, I'm not a pricing genius.
Masters Umbrella
...And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why you don't mess with Mary Poppins. Sorry. Had to make the joke. Unfortunately, I think that's one of the drawbacks of this item- it's clearly not a gag item, but it lends itself to humor too easily. Plus it does way too much. I don't think it's necessary to have it be a weapon, for instance (and honestly, that just puts images of little old ladies beating up hooligans into my mind) and the vast array of magic abilities it has seem a bit much and lacking in overall unified theme. Narrowing it down might make it more appealing. I like the feather fall, for instance (though again: Mary Poppins) and the bonus to concentration checks against bad weather actually works very well and addresses a fairly untouched part of that particular mechanic.
I've seen all the Firefly eps more than once, and I'm not sure what reference on the Elder Rainstick ...If I recall correctly, it's in Our Mrs. Reynolds. Jayne is given a rainstick at the same celebration that Mal gets his wife.
You are correct, sir. I'll see if I can upload the scene to youtube when I get home.
I think one of the more fun items I ever made as a PC was just basicly a spell in a can but became insanely useful. Just a reins from a horse that could cast mount (1st level caster) at will, they only lasted 2 hours but you can get alot of use from being able to make a herd of horses quickly. We stampeded orcs, sent a whole village to safety each with a horse, pushed them off cliffs onto enemies (thought of using them as free catapult ammo but never needed a catapult). And we also realized that nothing in the rule book (well core ones we had) mentioned what happened to a summon when it died but the spell still had duration....so we realized mount would be great for binge eaters, eat all the horse you want then when the spell wears out 'poof' empty stomach and very little calories. And since you can summon riding dogs with it too you can switch up meals (assuming you have characters that don't mind eating horse or dog, very useful for a goblin pc though)
And we also realized that nothing in the rule book (well core ones we had) mentioned what happened to a summon when it died but the spell still had duration....so we realized mount would be great for binge eaters, eat all the horse you want then when the spell wears out 'poof' empty stomach and very little calories. And since you can summon riding dogs with it too you can switch up meals (assuming you have characters that don't mind eating horse or dog, very useful for a goblin pc though)
Sorry to disappoint you, but that is written very clearly in the rules. Any summoned creature goes *poof* the instant its HP drop to zero.
Summoning: A summoning spell instantly brings a creature or object to a place you designate. When the spell ends or is dispelled, a summoned creature is instantly sent back to where it came from, but a summoned object is not sent back unless the spell description specifically indicates this. A summoned creature also goes away if it is killed or if its hit points drop to 0 or lower, but it is not really dead. It takes 24 hours for the creature to reform, during which time it can't be summoned again.
When the spell that summoned a creature ends and the creature disappears, all the spells it has cast expire. A summoned creature cannot use any innate summoning abilities it may have.
Check the section on Conjuration spells under Spell Descriptions Here.
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Xorn Claw Gauntlet
Now this one's interesting, though I think it's one of those items that would need a lot more room to explain the permutations of than you'd have in a 300 word entry. You've addressed the touch attack issue; I'm wondering about other practical uses. Could it say, reach through a metal door, grab something small on the other side, and pull it back through?
Now that goes directly to its intended use, so I should have considered it. It almost has to do that. I want to keep this item as intuitive and free of spell-like mechanics as possible, so it should work with a natural gesture. Let's say the gauntlet grants its properties of ignoring stone, metal and fire damage to any Fine object (up to four inches in its largest dimension) that the user holds enclosed in his hand.
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Well, I'm not gonna get super detailed, but items that made it into the reject bin for me were:
Eye of the Midnight Star - I really thought I had something going with this item...portable, let you see through it as if it were your own eye, could float, pass through small holes, etc...until I realized it was the same bloody thing as an Arcane Eye spell. Good thing I read the spell descriptions!
Seal of the Sundered Heavens - Didn't get to far with this one, actually. Tried developing a name, and working from there (unlike the Eye), but...didn't get too much farther past that. There was the possibility of thunder-based effects, and then I hit a road block in my thinking on it, so I scrapped it.
A third idea was some sort of magical key, but lo and behold, going through the entries for the previous two years I discovered just that, so bleh...so much for that idea.
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My first concept that got canned since I felt it would be hit by the camping/traveling item and spell-in-a-can problems.
Aura moderate divination, moderate illusion; CL 11th
Slot none; Price 95,000 gp; Weight 5 lb.
This rounded, weather-worn stone is slightly larger than the size of a man’s fist. These stones are said to have once belonged to the first road constructed in the city of Ur’drax on Azlant, now long lost to antiquity and the crushing depths of the ocean.
When held, the Cobblestone imparts to the holder an instinctive knowledge of which direction north lies as know direction. This effect is always functioning.
Once per day, the user can make the Cobblestone show the shortest route to any one destination named as per find the path. When this power is activated, the Cobblestone creates the illusion of a road along the ground to guide the user to the named location. The road appears to be 20 feet wide and constructed of stones similar in appearance as the Cobblestone. In addition, when someone steps upon the road, the surrounding terrain is altered to better resemble that of ancient Azlant in its final hours, the Earthfall such a profound trauma that it was even etched into the essence of the Cobblestone. The effect lasts for 2 hours or 10 minutes per caster level + 10 minutes, whichever is longer, after which the road fades away as if merely a dream until the Cobblestone is used again.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, know direction, find the path, mirage arcana; Cost 47,500 gp
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CL 11th
<snip>
The effect lasts for 2 hours or 10 minutes per caster level + 10 minutes, whichever is longer...This part is amusing, and I can't quite tell whether it's intentional or not.
I dig the flavor of the item. But I think it's more like a minor artifact than a wondrous item, and could be improved (not for the contest, but in general) by making it even more artifact-like. I can easily imagine there being a small set of such stones, and that they perhaps show the routes to specific, ancient destinations rather than to any location the user wishes.
Yeah, that was left in when I was thinking of making a lesser/stronger version of the item or was thinking that someone could always craft it that was higher level than 11th. Never removed it since I moved on from that concept.