Goddang hippeh!
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!!
{bleeding profusely} HAHAHAHAHA! I'M INVINCIBLE! I cast... {wobbles dizzily} The Light of Looniness! I win! {collapses}
Ugh... these stigmata... are... evidence of my holey might! I'm immortal; you can't kil- {twitches, dies}
Someone clean that goop offen mah front porch!
I do declare what theys makin' hippehs from these days? That one thar smells like paste glue and Jergins Lotion.
wut.
reggin
wut.
Chicken butt?
Well, catch me some-a dem chickens out yonder! Just watch the scaly ones, they's kin petry ..peetri ... turn yowwins inta STONE!
Hey, you got some nice chickens. They're ironically pretty... mind if I feed one some of my artesian bread- {gets pecked on bare toe peeking out of Birkenstock sandal and promptly turns to stone}
Hey, you got some nice chickens. They're ironically pretty... mind if I feed one some of my artesian bread- {gets pecked on bare toe peeking out of Birkenstock sandal and promptly turns to stone}
{almost imperceptibly} Oilcan?
Don need to shewt him naow, jes' get that sledge hammer over yonder and smash him to bits. I'll cast a dispel on 'im afters and we'll have stew chunks of hippeh fer the pot!
Don need to shewt him naow, jes' get that sledge hammer over yonder and smash him to bits. I'll cast a dispel on 'im afters and we'll have stew chunks of hippeh fer the pot!
{almost imperceptibly} Mmmm, stew. Wait- NOooooooooooooooo!
Whut's petterfied?
Take this here rock zombeh.
Gives a wrinkled-looking rock to AZ
Naow watch.
Points at rock and it morphs into 3/4 of a brain
It's like the best durn root celler evah! Yowwins can store hippehs fer years till yew gets hongry. But, then yew gotta look at thar goofy hippeh faces inna yard looking all stoned.
Y'all got a license fer them thar stone hippehs? Th' guvmint dun made them a tax-evil item durin ther last meetin' seshun.
<breaks out an old tabulating machine and hits multiple keys in a flurry of fingers>
That'll be 'bout $17.64 fer eacha them thar stoney hippehs. The 'conomy bein' whatis, I kin take cash 'r trade. Y'all got any of them that squeezins sittin' 'bout?
Now, now, no reasin ta be unneighborlike 'bout it. Y'all need an extinshun? All y'all gotta do is fill out these hyar forms and such.
<pulls out a stack of forms the size of a stack of 6 New York City phone books>
Y'all be sure ta use black 'r blue inkpens whin ya fillem out. Iffin you use red inkpens, y'all're gonna havta fillem out t'gin.
Doncha fergit 'bout them forms ... them fees an peenaltees'll rack up sumthin fierce.
Now, now, no reasin ta be unneighborlike 'bout it. Y'all need an extinshun? All y'all gotta do is fill out these hyar forms and such.
<pulls out a stack of forms the size of a stack of 6 New York City phone books>
Y'all be sure ta use black 'r blue inkpens whin ya fillem out. Iffin you use red inkpens, y'all're gonna havta fillem out t'gin.
Doncha fergit 'bout them forms ... them fees an peenaltees'll rack up sumthin fierce.
Best watch that thar scalee chicken over by yer feets thar mister revenooer ...
I may be unreasonably happy to find that this thread is still going.
Also, is that patchouli? Nice. Masks the scent of brains.
Is there any shine left in that jug?
Izzat my nephew-cousin Abraham Whateley? I thot you done couldn't be seen by mortal eyes! My, your tentacles have grown since last I saw yeh in Dunwich! Come give your Auntie-cousin a big hug!
Best watch that thar scalee chicken over by yer feets thar mister revenooer ...
Y'all hav scalee chickins? You all got a license fer them things?
<scalee chicken comes up and pecks at his feet>
What in tarnation?
<He hits the scalee chicken with his pen ... the scalee chicken immediately becomes entangled in red tape>
Dang it, my toe dun turnta stone ... kinda like a big ol' bunyon ... good thing everthin' having ta do with the guvinmint gets slowed to a crawl.
<starts hobbling off, muttering>
I swar these backwoods types git harder t'deal with ever' yar.
Sheeeeeeiiiiiiit. Liecenz? He done need no gol darnd liecenz.
<TO A.Z.>
Shootem!
AYUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!
rekin. hoot nanneh.
Whalp light the wicker man and start the chantin'! It's time for the hootenannay to begin!
Starts jumping about, causing the porch to sway alarmingly
Play us'n a lively tune on that thar banjo Wingding!
ayup.