Search Posts
This is b@#$+@#~. I went to McDonald's and order "two large fries" and they gave me a whole bunch of little ones. It's a kit. You have to assemble the large fries yourself out of the fry pieces.
>_> <_< Stay alert. There's a fungus among us.
I saw Disparities in Mental Prowess back in '91, I think. They opened for Third Eye Blind and PiL.
flounder. DO THE BLUTO!!!
{looks down at grenade} Hmmm... it says "Pick Me Up". {picks up grenade} {is instantly vaporized}
Holy Trucker's Hats and PBRs! I think I was just shot so hard I died in my next life too! {croaks}
{knocks on door} Good day sir or madam, I'm here selling Funky Wagnals' "Dank Memes Encyclopedia"...
A broken glass bottle is a uni-tasker. Alton Brown would soooooo disapprove.
x_x
Uh-oh {attempts to summon barbarians with bronze kazoo of Valhalla}
But I've only come to share the Holiday Joy! Also, you can't make me leave with violence; my DR 20/buckshot nullifies physical harm. {returns to playing Hank Williams Sr. melody on kazoo and child's ukulele}
{answers summons} Howdy!
{startled by the sudden appearance of undead and graul-y folk} AHHHH! They're after my tender hipster flesh! {trips over fixed gear bicycle, falls awkwardly, dies}
Hi everybody! Wow, I bet we could gentrify the heck out of this place.
Mrgh- {is hit by stray buckshot, dies again}
Whips out lighter and bong "Come to Hippeh"{burns readily, creating stinking cloud effect (but not a stinking cloud effect)} {uneaten bones and digested flesh begin to regenerate into a hippeh} Uhnnnnn...
My former roommate, my best friend since junior high and pretty much my brother in everything but blood, moved to NYC a couple months ago. Since then, he hasn't talked to me and from what I can tell has turned into kind of a hipster jerk. That sucks. :( However, it is NYC... he might have just been bitten by a Whedwolf and contracted hipsthropy.
Wow, that's a pretty realistically gruesome Halloween costume for a dog... but Walking Dead is soooooo mainstream and overhyped though for a- *POUNCEMAUL* AUGGGHHHHH!!!! {dies horribly}
Heya! One of my hipster friends tweeted this was the place for a party... something about you all serving blackened goat and PBRs?
Gruumash . is banned for getting rhinoplasty to look like Voldemort.
Mr. "The power of The Beard COMPELS YOU!"
Spruce Møøsey
{inside pot} Hey, it's pretty hot in here... I mean hotter-than-hot-tub hot... {dies, begins to cook}
{inside pot} We all float down here...
Hey, I didn't need a bath! I had one last month! Mmmm, this broth smells heavenly though... relaxing... feeling sleepy...
{rides up on a fixie} Mmmm, I'm vegan, but dang, whatever you're cooking in that big pot smells really tasty. Speaking of pot... has anyone seen my "redneck" buddy who might have wandered over this way?
DJ-Bogie is banned for being the Richard Simmons of disembodied eyeballs.
{dies from blood loss}
OWWWWWWWWWWWW! Hey, what'd you do that for?! I'm not that picky, it doesn't have to be a Banana Republic... I'd settle for a Macy's. {bleeding profusely} Crap! The blood will never come of this shirt or my coat. Do you realize how much I paid for it from J. Peterman?
{wanders in, disheveled and clearly lost} Wha-? Oh thank heavens, I've found people at last! Excuse me, you rustic backwoods folk, my iPhone doesn't get a signal out here. Might you direct me toward a restaurant and the nearest Banana Republic?
{points at spriggan} Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! We're being repressed!
Midnight_Angel is banned for picking on Madclaw's name. It isn't his fault: when he immigrated, the naturalization people screwed up his surname. Even worse, the name screw-up has made it more difficult to continue with his uncle's legacy. Thanks for throwing salt in those wounds!
{falls down} Wait... why are you dragging- ... dragging out a stew pot and meatcleavers... {dies}
That odd bird sitting on your barn-like structure just took a poop on my freshly washed, waxed, and detailed car. Who should I send the bill too?
{drives up in fancy city-slicker car} Excuse me county folk, I'm looking for the onramp back onto the interstate. Could you give me directions? I'm late for opening night of the new ballet.
{gasps from gaping hole in his torso} That's no way to say hel- Urk... {dies}
Hmmm, I didn't know people could sleep standing up with their eyes open. {gently pokes Aberzombie with a stick} Huh, must be something only country folk do. OK, I guess I'll amuse myself by wandering around and touching everybody's stuff. {start rummaging through toolbox and the shed}
{ghets outta fancy furriner car wif rode map} Excuse me folks, do any of you know the way to Wall Street? And do you have a decent coffee place around here... I'll even settle for that bourgeois Starbucks at this point.
{whimpers} I think gangrene has set in... so dizzy... can't feel my extremities...
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! {struggles feebly under the poodle's attack}
{awakens from SAN drain-induced nap} Wha-?! Oh no, there are poodles all over this place! {struggles, manages to crawl only a few inches} ARGH! My broken arms and legs are nearly useless. Must... escape... before they... notice me again...
IT'S A FRENCHIE!!! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! NONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
IT'S A FRENCHIE!!! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! Pas si fort, s'il vous plaît! Et je dois avoir une quinzaine de fractures et de plusieurs les organes internes rompus ... SO. CESSEZ. HUMPING. MOI !!!!!
AUGH! Mon Dieu! C'est l'enfer caniche! Le quitter! Arrêtez humping moi! {fumbles for beret and cigarette}
{comes flying out of the Jack's thread} ...AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE {groans incoherently}
Is this where they're holding that "Star Truckie" convention? Look, I'm wearing a Starfleet red shirt. Wow, that sounds like fun. And no waiting!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...
Is this where they're holding that "Star Truckie" convention? Look, I'm wearing a Starfleet red shirt.
{notices hissing sound coming from pants} Wha-? Is that... FIREWORKS?! {chunks of seared roast hippeh rain down on everyone}
{comes flying in from the Jack thread}...EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Eh? Wha-? Ha-HAH, still alive (just barely), you stupid Jacks!!!!
|
