I heard that when Chuck Norris does push-ups...

[Moorluck]

Chuck Norris let the dogs out. What you gonna do about it.

[Ultradan]

When Chuck Norris goes to the gym the machines get stronger.

[Ultradan]

Chuck Norris clogs the toilet even when he pisses.

[Moorluck]

Chuck Norris crossed the road, no one has ever dared to question his motives.

[Ultradan]

Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse, horses are hung like Chuck Norris!

[Ultradan]

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

[Moorluck]

The Manhattan Project was not meant to create nuclear weapons. It was meant to re-create the power of a Chuck Norris round-house kick. It failed.

[Ultradan]

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, because hunting entails the posibility of failure, Chuck Norris goes killing.

[Moorluck]

Lightning never strikes twice in the same place because Chuck Norris is looking for it.

[Ultradan]

Chuck Norris's mom can beat up your dad.

[Moorluck]

Ultradan wrote:

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, because hunting entails the posibility of failure, Chuck Norris goes killing.

Damnit, ninja'd.

[Ultradan]

Haa-yaa!! Ultradan is Chuck Norris in disguise...

[Moorluck]

Chuck Norris is so scary that Domino's delivers his pizza 30 minutes BEFORE he makes the call.

[Moorluck]

Chuck Norris is the reason why there is no life on Mars.

[Moorluck]

Chuck Norris fears death, the death he may cause if he ever truly gets mad.

[Moorluck]

When you're Chuck Norris anything+anything equals one... one roundhouse kick to the face.

[Moorluck]

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around does it still make a sound? Yes, and Chuck Norris can hear it, Chuck Norris hears everything.

[Moorluck]

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of Pi.

[Moorluck]

Bo knows Chuck Norris. Bo fears Chuck Norris.

[Moorluck]

To know Chuck Norris is to know fear.

[Moorluck]

Chuck Norris has 10 kids, by 200 different women.

[Dragnmoon]

December 21, 2012 is the date that Chuck Norris's first roundhouse kick finally traverses space and time to come back and destroy all life on earth except Chuck Norris. it is true the Mayans predicted it!

[Moorluck]

Last year a meteor was hurtling towards the earth, when it found out Chuck Norris lived here it blew itself up.

[Moorluck]

The rain is just the angels crying, because Chuck Norris kicked their a**es again.

[Moorluck]

When Chuck Norris plays the lottery he always wins, Chuck Norris cannot lose.

[Moorluck]

Chuck Norris. Thats all you really need to know.

[Moorluck]

Chuck Norris knows why the Mona Lisa smiles.

[Moorluck]

The Alamo remembers Chuck Norris.

[Moorluck]

Chuck Norris once played a game of D&D, he won by rolling natural 20s every time. Even with his d4.

[Dragnmoon]

At the Battle of the Bulge, Chuck Norris defeated the Nazis with his Bulge.

[Relic]

When Chuck Norris plays Pathfinder he doesn't need to prepare his spells. His spells prepare themselves out of fear.

[Moorluck]

When Chuck Norris rolls up a new PC he gains 30 levels just by writing his name on the sheet.

[pres man]

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can flip the light switch and be under the covers before it turns dark.

[Abraham spalding]

pres man wrote:

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can flip the light switch and be under the covers before it turns dark.

That's just because the dark won't enter the room without Chuck Norris's Permission.

[Lord Snow]

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris didn’t cry when Bambys mother died.

Chuck Norris doesn’t have bags in his Windows Vista.

Jesus may have walked on water, but Chuck Norris swam in the earth.

Here is a little story about Chuck Norris:
one day a man came to Chuck and told him, "Chuck Norris, I know of a thing that you cannot accomplish."
Chuck smiled at him. "What is it, son?"
"Well", says the fool, "I bet you cant create a rock so immense you yourself could not lift it".
Grinning, Chuck Norris threatened the stone into creation, and indeed he could not lift it.
"Good", said the man, "now try to lift it."
With no effort at all, chuck did.
Do you know how he did it?

Spoiler:

easily.

[Count Buggula]

Angels sang out in an immaculate chorus,
Down from the heavens decended Chuck Norris
Who delivered a kick which could shatter bones
Into the crotch of Indiana Jones

[Moorluck]

What was really said on the U.S.S. Enterprise "Damnit Jim, I'm a Doctor, not Chuck Norris!"

[Ultradan]

Chuck Norris was hired to chop down the Sahara Jungle...

... He did it on a Saturday.

Ultradan

[Valegrim]

According to Newtonian Physics; its true; just the Earth pushes back :)

[Louis Agresta]

...Jack Palance loses his erection.

[David Fryer]

Chuck Norris knows where Carmon Sandeigo is

[Chuck_Norris]

I'm Chuck Norris, and I do not approve of this thread. Boot to the head.

[The Shadow]

CourtFool wrote:

Xabulba wrote:

Chuck Norris thinks homosexuality is a choice...

...but who wouldn't want some lovin' from him?

A friend once said "Chuck Norris is gay, he just ran out of women."

[CourtFool]

Chuck_Norris wrote:

I'm Chuck Norris, and I do not approve of this thread.

Humps Chuck_Norris' leg.

[Eekster Buhnay]

CourtFool wrote:

Humps Chuck_Norris' leg.

Nope CourtFool... Chuck Norris' leg humps you!

[Moorluck]

Eekster Buhnay wrote:

CourtFool wrote:

Humps Chuck_Norris' leg.

Nope CourtFool... Chuck Norris' leg humps you!

Thats the best one I've seen so far! :D

[Xabulba]

The only natural substance harder than a diamond is Chuck Norris' crotch.

[CourtFool]

Eekster Buhnay wrote:

Nope CourtFool... Chuck Norris' leg humps you!

I'm cool with that.

[Gark the Goblin]

The Dalesman wrote:

And remember:

"Chuck Norris does not sleep - he waits."

Your Friendly Neighborhood Dalesman
"Bringing Big D**n Justice to the Bad Guys Since 1369 DR"

Would that be AR, or damage reduction?

[Aberzombie]

The only reason outer space exists is because it's afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.