Rob: What? What'd I do? What's wrong?
Mike: That didn't happen! You didn't blow up!
I've lost 10 lbs in four weeks, just by walking and cutting back on my soda in-take.
Excellent! I've managed to lose a lot of weight by taking soda out of my diet altogether. Those first 2-3 days were tough.
Rob: Oh. Okay, when we last left our heroes, I killed a guy, I caught a pet rat, and I got these badass curses fused onto my body. So if you're like a hot lady, and you want to see some sweet curses, call 555-SHMOOP.
Mike: God, you're such an idiot.
*Theme song*
Mike/Eluamous Nailo: When we last left our heroes, they had been cursed to death by the kingdom of Cotswell, and were being forced to pay 100,000 gold pieces of...gold for the freedom if--Shmoopy, why aren't you wearing a shirt?
Sir Shmoopy/Rob: Oh, well I'm just showing off these wicked curses I got to these young and sassy ladies. Check it out, ladies: This one'll blow me into a million pieces if I don't repay my debt, and this one'll blow me into a billion pieces if I ever make fun of that stu--uh, nice judge again. Pretty coo, huh?
Mike: No, I mean why aren't you wearing a shirt?
Rob has taken off his shirt in real life.
Rob: I'm just getting into the spirit of the game, Mike, jeez, stop looking.
Mike/Nailo: Ugh, so how are we going to come up with a way to make a hundred thousand gold pieces of gold?
Excellent! I've managed to lose a lot of weight by taking soda out of my diet altogether. Those first 2-3 days were tough.If I go off caffine for too long I develop an arythmia. Since I can't stand the taste of coffee or tea, I have to drink at least some soda. It also helps with my ADHD.
I know what you mean about coffee/tea. If I absolutely find I need to have a soda, I'll have it at lunch. Caffeine too close to bed time really messed up my sleep schedule, which was another reason I quit drinking soda. I was sleeping in until 10-11 in the morning, which is not conducive to keeping a job. :)
Shmoopy: Hmm, how about a bake sale? My school had one and we made a hundred bucks.
Nailo: Yyyyeah, I don't think that's gonna work. Let's think of something else.
Shmoopy: I dunno, we could just steal some.
Nailo: Hmm, I guess that's an okay idea. I mean, what serious repercussions could come from such rash actions?
Judge bangs gavel.
Judge: Guilty! Apparently I mistook you boys the first two times. I didn't know that not only were you lumberjacks, but also retarded. You now have ten days to pay two hundred thousand gold pieces...of gold before the curse explodes! Now go finish your semi-difficult delivery quest, without committing any more crimes today.
Outside castle.
Rob/Shmoopy: Man, this sucks, Mike. Now what do you wanna do?
Nailo: Well, let's get this delivery quest out of the way and then we'll think of something.
Shmoopy: Man, I wish we'd never bumped into this stupid Judge in the first place...
Judge: Oh, god, hit the dirt!
BOOM
Huh, looks like the theme song comes now.
Mike/Nailo: Our heroes had just entered the spooky forest of Blook Woods, when out of nowhere they start to hear a strange buzzing sound.
Shmoopy: Woah, did you hear that?
Nailo: Yes, I wonder what it could be?
Shmoopy: Holy crap, Petey* can talk!
*The rat.
Nailo: It's not the rat, you moron.
Shmoopy: Alright. I wanna cast a spell.
Nailo/Mike: I swear to god, Rob, if you blind me one more time--
Shmoopy: Okay, I cast detect magic, and I detect that Petey can totally talk!
"Petey": Why hello, Rob, nice facial features!
Rob/Shmoopy: Oh, why thank you, Petey.
Nailo/Rob: God, you idiot. Ugh. Shmoopy casts detect magic again, and the magical axe in his backpack starts to glow bright blue.
Rob/Shmoopy: HOLY CRAP, this axe can talk!
The axe suddenly has a french mustache, a monocle, and that weird french hat.
The Axe: Oh, why hello, Rob, nice facial features.
Shmoopy: Oh, why thank you, Mr. Axe. What have you been up to today?
Axe: Oh, you know, just chilling.
Mike/Nailo: The axe can't talk, Rob!
Rob/Shmoopy: Yes it can! Kill da wabbit! Look, Mr. Axe, who's going to win the World Series of baseball?
Axe: Ze (something) Bluejays are definitely going to win.
Shmoopy: See, it tells jokes, too!
Nailo/Mike: Rob, shut up, you're ruining my adventure!
Rob/Shmoopy: Talking Axe, am I ruining the adventure?
Axe: (something something in a french accent) yes.
Shmoopy: YOU BACKSTABBING B@$*#!
Axe: I am an axe, it's in my nature to cut to the chase.
Shmoopy: your point has been proven yet again, O Sharpy One.
Rob/Nailo: Ugh, give me the axe, you idiot.
Takes axe from Shmoopy.
Eluamous takes the glowing axe and examines it closely, and notices that it appears to glow when danger is near.