Has anyone ever read Nodwick?
I've read every issue. Good stuff.
The glass is neither half full or half empty. The glass needs to be re-engineered to fix the required fluid content.
lol. Great quote. :)
Hello, Sharoth.Hey there taig. How are you doing?I'm doing OK. Not great, but OK. How about you?
Sorry to hear that things are not better. I do hope that they improve. If not, then you can always blame flash. Moorluck does. ;-P
lol. Great quote. :)
The glass is neither half full or half empty. The glass needs to be re-engineered to fix the required fluid content.
~grins~ I am not sure if I was being a smartass and made it up or if I had heard it somewhere.
Has anyone ever read Nodwick?Pope/bear/woods/hat.... you get it.
The Pope bears a grudge against Tiger Woods' hat?
Direct quote...
"Stealing from one person is Theft. Stealing from many is Research."
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Has anyone ever read Nodwick?Pope/bear/woods/hat.... you get it.The Pope bears a grudge against Tiger Woods' hat?
Uhm.... somethin' like that. ;)
RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32
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Uhm.... somethin' like that. ;)Has anyone ever read Nodwick?Pope/bear/woods/hat.... you get it.The Pope bears a grudge against Tiger Woods' hat?
I thought it was: Does the Pope sh!t in the woods?
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I thought it was: Does the Pope sh!t in the woods?Uhm.... somethin' like that. ;)Has anyone ever read Nodwick?Pope/bear/woods/hat.... you get it.The Pope bears a grudge against Tiger Woods' hat?
No, it's does a bear wear a hat.
Contributor, RPG Superstar 2012
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I thought it was: Does the Pope sh!t in the woods?Uhm.... somethin' like that. ;)Has anyone ever read Nodwick?Pope/bear/woods/hat.... you get it.The Pope bears a grudge against Tiger Woods' hat?
If the Pope s**** in the woods and a tree falls on him, does a bear get excommunicated?
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RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32
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No, it's does a bear wear a hat.I thought it was: Does the Pope sh!t in the woods?Uhm.... somethin' like that. ;)Has anyone ever read Nodwick?Pope/bear/woods/hat.... you get it.The Pope bears a grudge against Tiger Woods' hat?
Oh right... my bad.
I like that out of that entire Thread conversation... this is the only thing that you find interesting enough to comment on... ;)lol. Great quote. :)
The glass is neither half full or half empty. The glass needs to be re-engineered to fix the required fluid content.
And out of the entire conversation we had, this is what you got? ;)
You're doing it again. :) Besides, you two arguing over Solnes is nothing new. Although if Moorluck and Solnes move to Australia this is going to wreak havoc on my sleep schedule. Trying to keep in contact with all of you guys when I'm on the other side of the world...Sheesh. :)
For all the people in Georgia!!!
A COLD DAY IN HELL
A new arrival in Hell was brought before the devil. The devil told his demon to put the man to work on a rock pile with a 20-pound sledge hammer in 95 degree heat with 95% humidity. At the end of the day, the devil went to see how the man was doing, only to find him smiling and singing as he pounded rocks.
The man explained that the heat and hard labor were very similar to those on his beloved farm back in Georgia.
The devil told his demon to turn up the heat to 120 degrees, with 100% humidity. At the end of the next day, the devil again checked on the new man, and found him still happy to be sweating and straining. The man explained that it felt like the old days, when he had to clean out his silo in the middle of August on his beloved farm back in Georgia.
At that, the devil told his demon to lower the temperature for this man to -20 degrees with a 40 mph wind. At the end of the next day, the devil was confident that he would find the man miserable. But, the man was instead singing louder than ever, twirling the sledge hammer like a baton. When the devil asked him why, he was so happy, the man answered,
"Cold day in hell, the Falcons must have won the Super Bowl!"
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I like that out of that entire Thread conversation... this is the only thing that you find interesting enough to comment on... ;)lol. Great quote. :)
The glass is neither half full or half empty. The glass needs to be re-engineered to fix the required fluid content.
And out of the entire conversation we had, this is what you got? ;)You're doing it again. :) Besides, you two arguing over Solnes is nothing new. Although if Moorluck and Solnes move to Australia this is going to wreak havoc on my sleep schedule. Trying to keep in contact with all of you guys when I'm on the other side of the world...Sheesh. :)
Well you could come to, then all three of me would be in one place!
Duh-duh-duh!! ;)|
RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32
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I like that out of that entire Thread conversation... this is the only thing that you find interesting enough to comment on... ;)lol. Great quote. :)
The glass is neither half full or half empty. The glass needs to be re-engineered to fix the required fluid content.
And out of the entire conversation we had, this is what you got? ;)You're doing it again. :)
One of Us... One of Us... One of Us...
Besides, you two arguing over Solnes is nothing new.
We're not arguing, we're agreeing that she is awesomely hot and are merely discussing in a civil and respectful manner how best to share... :D
Although if Moorluck and Solnes move to Australia this is going to wreak havoc on my sleep schedule. Trying to keep in contact with all of you guys when I'm on the other side of the world...Sheesh. :)
Welcome to my world... :/
<Begins to understand what chopped liver feels like...>
Oh, poor taig. (hug) You're not chopped liver!
Nervous New Priest
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous at the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:
A few tips on nervousness at the pulpit:
1. Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
5. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
6. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.
7. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.
8. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
9. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
10. When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me".
11. The Virgin Mary is not called, "Mary with the Cherry".
12. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
13. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
Sincerely,
Monsignor
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RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32
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Although if Moorluck and Solnes move to Australia this is going to wreak havoc on my sleep schedule. Trying to keep in contact with all of you guys when I'm on the other side of the world...Sheesh. :)Well you could come to, then all three of me would be in one place!
Duh-duh-duh!! ;)
hmmm.... the man does make a valid point! ;)
I like that out of that entire Thread conversation... this is the only thing that you find interesting enough to comment on... ;)lol. Great quote. :)
The glass is neither half full or half empty. The glass needs to be re-engineered to fix the required fluid content.
And out of the entire conversation we had, this is what you got? ;)You're doing it again. :) Besides, you two arguing over Solnes is nothing new. Although if Moorluck and Solnes move to Australia this is going to wreak havoc on my sleep schedule. Trying to keep in contact with all of you guys when I'm on the other side of the world...Sheesh. :)
Well you could come to, then all three of me would be in one place!
Duh-duh-duh!! ;)
I'm not sure the universe could handle the strain. ;)
(Although it would be cool)
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2012
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Nervous New Priest
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous at the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:
A few tips on nervousness at the pulpit:Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
There are 10 commandments, not 12.
There are 12 disciples, not 10.
Jesus was consecrated, not constipated
Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.
David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.
When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me".
The Virgin Mary is not called, "Mary with the Cherry".
The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
Sincerely,Monsignor
I like this one. :)
Me too, taig.
Clarence
There were some backwoods ignorant hillbilles living across the river from each other, who feuded constantly. John hated Clarence with a passion and never passed up a chance to throw rocks across the river at Clarence. This went on for years until one day the Corps of Engineers came to build a bridge across that river. John was elated; he told his wife that finally he was going to get the chance to cross over and "whip Clarence butt".
He left the house and returned in a matter of minutes. His wife asked what was wrong, didn't he intend to go over the bridge and "whip Clarence butt?"
He replied that he never had really seen Clarence up close and didn't realize his size until he started over the bridge and saw the sign: "CLARENCE 10 FT 3 IN."
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I like that out of that entire Thread conversation... this is the only thing that you find interesting enough to comment on... ;)lol. Great quote. :)
The glass is neither half full or half empty. The glass needs to be re-engineered to fix the required fluid content.
And out of the entire conversation we had, this is what you got? ;)You're doing it again. :) Besides, you two arguing over Solnes is nothing new. Although if Moorluck and Solnes move to Australia this is going to wreak havoc on my sleep schedule. Trying to keep in contact with all of you guys when I'm on the other side of the world...Sheesh. :)
Well you could come to, then all three of me would be in one place!
Duh-duh-duh!! ;)I'm not sure the universe could handle the strain. ;)
(Although it would be cool)
Cool? For us, yes... and maybe Solnes too. Cool for the apocolyptic wasteland of the earth that remains?.... Probably not so much.
For all the programmers.
C Monkey
A tourist walks into a pet shop in Redmond, WA and is browsing around the cages on display. While he's there, another customer walks in and says to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a C Monkey, please." The shopkeeper nods, goes over to a cage at the side of the shop and takes out a monkey. He fits a collar and leash and hands it to the customer saying, "That'll be $5000.00."
The customer pays and walks out with his monkey. Startled, the tourist goes over to the shopkeeper and says "That was a very expensive monkey - most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did it cost so much?"
"Ah, that monkey can program in C - very fast, tight code, no bugs, Y2K compliant, well worth the money."
The tourist looks at the monkey in another cage. "That one's even more expensive - $10,000 dollars! What does it do?"
"Oh, that one's a C++ Monkey; it can manage object-oriented Windows programming, Visual C++, even some Java, all the really useful stuff."
The tourist looks around for a little longer and sees a third monkey in a cage of its own. The price tag around its neck says $50,000. He gasps to the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does it do?"
"Well, I haven't actually seen it do anything, but it says it's a contractor."
Sorry. I'm tired and cranky, and I was on the phone with someone from work for an hour because we put software in the field a month too early. I'm anxious about the move to the new job. I'm bringing my baggage here, and I should't be. Bleh!
It is ok. We are like all good airlines. All baggage will be lost. ~GRINS~
Sorry. I'm tired and cranky, and I was on the phone with someone from work for an hour because we put software in the field a month too early. I'm anxious about the move to the new job. I'm bringing my baggage here, and I should't be. Bleh!
Oh, don't be silly. You see that corner over there? It's full of baggage. We all bring it in. The idea is to leave it when you feel better. :)
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Sorry. I'm tired and cranky, and I was on the phone with someone from work for an hour because we put software in the field a month too early. I'm anxious about the move to the new job. I'm bringing my baggage here, and I should't be. Bleh!
Hey, we can handle your baggage whenever you feel like dropping it off.... handling your package however is asking too much. ;)
Ghost
A visiting professor at the University of Alabama is giving a seminar on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in ghosts?" About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghost?"
About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?
15 students raise their hands.
"That's a great response. Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"
3 students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?
One student in the back raises his hand.
The professor is astonished. He takes off glasses, takes a step back, and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience.
The redneck student replies with a nod and begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost.
The student replies, "Ghost?!?" "Dang it, I thought you said ''GOATS."
Cannibal Advice
Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender Missionary. I've baked them, I've roasted them, I've stewed them, I've barbecued them, I've tried every sort of marinade. I just cannot seem to get them tender."
The second cannibal asks, "What kind of Missionary do you use?"
The other replied, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and they're sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads."
"Ah, ha!" the second cannibal replies. "No wonder ... those are friars!"
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RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32
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Thanks, everybody!
I do think I'm going to get some shuteye. I've got a visit with the chiropractor on Monday, so I'm hoping my back can get better and I can sleep better.
Don't break anything while I'm gone. :)
Night taig... I can't promise anything. :)
EDIT: especially where Moorluck is involved (see below)
Information about Atlanta
1. Atlanta is comprised mostly of one way streets. The only way to get out of downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach Greenville, South Carolina.
2. All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree..." and include the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House..." except that in Cobb County, all directions begin with, "Go to the Big Chicken...."
3. Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end and is not to be confused with Peachtree Circle, Peachtree Place, Peachtree Lane, Peachtree Road, Peachtree Run, Peachtree Trace, Peachtree Ave., Peachtree Commons, Peachtree Battle, Peachtree Corners, Old Peachtree or Peachtree Industrial Way.
4. Atlanta is home of Coca Cola. That's all we drink here, so don't ask for any other soft drink... unless it's made by Coca Cola.
5. Atlantans only know their way to work and their way home. If you ask one for directions they will always send you down Peachtree.
6. Gate One at the Airport is 32 miles away from the Main Concourse so wear sneakers and pack a lunch.
7. It's impossible to go around a block and wind up on the street you started on. The Chamber of Commerce calls it a "scenic drive" and has posted signs to that effect so that out-of-towners don't feel lost.... they're just on a "scenic drive."
8. The 8 a.m. rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 a.m. The 5:00 p.m. rush hour is from 3:30 to 7:30 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning and lasts through 2:00 a.m. Saturday.
9. Reversible lanes are not understood by anybody... especially those of us who live here. Stay out of them unless you are looking for a head-on collision.
10. "Sir" and "Ma'am" are used by the person speaking to you if there's a remote possibility that you're at least 30 minutes older than they are.
11. "Sugar" is a more common form of address than "Miss". So is "Honey". "Honey" is always used by Waffle House waitresses.
12. Ponce de Leon Avenue can only be pronounced by a native, so do not attempt the Spanish pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you. (The Atlanta pronunciation is "pons duh LEE-on")
13. The falling of one rain drop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic rules; so will daylight savings time, a girl applying eye shadow in the next car, or a flat tire three lanes over. If a single snowflake falls the city is paralyzed for three days and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a month.
14. If you're standing on a corner and a MARTA Bus stops, you're expected to get on and go somewhere.
15. Atlanta is pronounced "Ah-lan-uh".
16. Construction on Peachtree Street is a way of life, and a permanent form of entertainment, especially when a water line is tapped and Atlanta's version of Old Faithful errupts.
17. Construction crews aren't doing their job properly unless they close down all lanes except one during rush hour.
18. Atlanta's traffic is the friendliest around. The commuters spend hours mingling with each other twice a day. In fact, Atlanta's traffic is rated number 1 in the country. You will often see people parked beside the road and engaged in lively discussions.
19. Atlantans are very proud of our race track, known as Road Atlanta. It winds throughout the city on the Interstates, hence its name.
20. Actually, I-285, the loop that encircles Atlanta and has a posted speed limit of 55 mph (but you have to maintain 70-80 mph just to keep from getting run over), is known to truckers as "The Watermelon 500".
21. Georgia 400 is the southern equivalent of the AutoBahn. You will rarely see a semi-truck on GA400, because even the truck drivers are intimidated by the oversized-SUV-wielding housewives racing home after a grueling day at the salon or the tennis match to meet their children at the school bus coming home from the college prep preschool.
22. The pollen count is off the national scale for unhealthy which starts at 120. Atlanta is usually in the 2,000 to 4,000 range. All roads vehicles, houses, etc., are yellow from March 28th to July 15th. If you have any allergies you will die.
23. The last thing you want to do is give another driver the finger, unless your car is armored, your trigger finger is itchy and your AK-47 has a full clip.
Thanks, everybody!
I do think I'm going to get some shuteye. I've got a visit with the chiropractor on Monday, so I'm hoping my back can get better and I can sleep better.
Don't break anything while I'm gone. :)
Good night taig.
Sadly, the Atlanta one is mostly true.
Soo Moorluck, what type of relationship have you had with a "Ghost"?
Yes, I Missed flash too. But tha tis only because the scope on my rifle needs to be recalibrated.
Edit - WOOT!!! TWO IN A ROW!!!