The Slaad Thread


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Poodle Jack Slaad wrote:
Enraged Eekster Hulk wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Surrender Slaadi! Acknowledge the Jacks as your Masters and we shall set the terms of your tribute!
ROOOOAAAAR!!! <POW!> {gamma pounds JH into the dirt}

NOW!!!

*giant worms pull JH underground*

JH climbs out of the earth, and spits out chunks of giant worm.

I've got chunks of worms bigger than that in my stool! That wouldn't make the cut to sit in the bottom of a bottle of mesquale!


<pops back from the corner Chaos Quickie Mart>

He, look what I found at the Quickie Mart!

<pulls out cases of wrenches, prybars and pneumatic drills>

Come here Jacks, you look like you have some loose bolts. Let me adjust them for you.


That's it... I'm counting down for my nuke drop...

3...


Enraged Eekster Hulk wrote:
Salty Jack wrote:

Salty calls for naval support

Hey? You guys think you could keep the skies clear for us? We're trying to have a simple little ground war here.

You look like General Ross- Eekster HATE ROSS!!! {advances menacingly}

Look! A Flying Turtle!

Uses a salt spray on the gamma-enhanced slaad when he turns around.


Enraged Eekster Hulk wrote:
General J. Debauchery wrote:

The general pulls his right hand off, revealing a Vulcan machine gun.

Now to mow down some merc bums!

sprays hot lead

Eekster hate men with guns! Eekster SMASH!!! {smushes his gun attachment, gamma pimp-slaps him}

That cost the army millions to develop! OK, it really only cost $220 but the contractor charged millions.

Attaches gamma-neutralizing arm attachment


Egg Slaad wrote:

<pops back from the corner Chaos Quickie Mart>

He, look what I found at the Quickie Mart!

<pulls out cases of wrenches, prybars and pneumatic drills>

Come here Jacks, you look like you have some loose bolts. Let me adjust them for you.

Hey look! Egg Slaad finally found his nuts!


Salty Jack wrote:
Look! A Flying Turtle!
{looks for Gamera} Where-?
Salty Jack wrote:
Uses a salt spray on the gamma-enhanced slaad when he turns around.

No Gamera? Now, salt but NO LIME OR TEQUILA?!?! EEKSTER HATE YOU BOGARTING BOOZE {gamma punts him back to Jack thread}


Dick Cheney wrote:

That's it... I'm counting down for my nuke drop...

3...

4...


Enraged Eekster Hulk wrote:
Salty Jack wrote:
Look! A Flying Turtle!
{looks for Gamera} Where-?
Salty Jack wrote:
Uses a salt spray on the gamma-enhanced slaad when he turns around.
No Gamera? Now, salt but NO LIME OR TEQUILA?!?! EEKSTER HATE YOU BOGARTING BOOZE {gamma punts him back to Jack thread}

woo hoo! I still have the booze!


Jack Hammer wrote:
Egg Slaad wrote:

<pops back from the corner Chaos Quickie Mart>

He, look what I found at the Quickie Mart!

<pulls out cases of wrenches, prybars and pneumatic drills>

Come here Jacks, you look like you have some loose bolts. Let me adjust them for you.

Hey look! Egg Slaad finally found his nuts!

Silly Jack, nuts are for loosening.

<loosens all the nuts on Jack Hammer, takes all the parts and rearranges them, reconnecting them into a strange mass of appendages that clank and shake when it moves>

Hmmm, I think I missed a step in the assembly instructions. I have all these parts left over. Oh well ...

<tosses the extra parts aside>


Jack Hammer wrote:
Dick Cheney wrote:

That's it... I'm counting down for my nuke drop...

3...

4...

Stop trying to confuse me!

3...


General J. Debauchery wrote:

That cost the army millions to develop! OK, it really only cost $220 but the contractor charged millions.

Attaches gamma-neutralizing arm attachment

{slaps hands together to blow the General down} YOU NOT PLAY NICE! AMBROSIA GONE! COBBIE GONE! YOU GO HOME NOW!!!!!

I always thought the Hulk's "smack hands together" gag was dumb, but it is canon and Jacks don't play fair.


Dick Cheney wrote:

That's it... I'm counting down for my nuke drop...

3...

{hears plane engines, looks up} Not turtle- Plane. What puny humans do now?

Egg Slaad wrote:

<loosens all the nuts on Jack Hammer, takes all the parts and rearranges them, reconnecting them into a strange mass of appendages that clank and shake when it moves>

Hmmm, I think I missed a step in the assembly instructions. I have all these parts left over. Oh well ...

<tosses the extra parts aside>

{gamma throws (ala B.A. Barracus) Jack Hammer back to Jacks thread}


2...


Wait a minute, are they gone?


Dick Cheney wrote:
2...

What Oscar the Grouch count for? {starts digging through rubble to find Cobb Spider}


Egg Slaad wrote:

<loosens all the nuts on Jack's Hammer>

You'll have to buy me a drink first..


Dick Cheney wrote:
2...

3...


Don't push my buttons, General. It will mean the end of your precious clubhouse AND the Dark and Stormy.


Enraged Eekster Hulk wrote:
General J. Debauchery wrote:

That cost the army millions to develop! OK, it really only cost $220 but the contractor charged millions.

Attaches gamma-neutralizing arm attachment

{slaps hands together to blow the General down} YOU NOT PLAY NICE! AMBROSIA GONE! COBBIE GONE! YOU GO HOME NOW!!!!!

I always thought the Hulk's "smack hands together" gag was dumb, but it is canon and Jacks don't play fair.

Fair? ;)

I appreciate the air dry and the applause but we Jacks haven't won yet.


Dick Cheney wrote:
Don't push my buttons, General. It will mean the end of your precious clubhouse AND the Dark and Stormy.

Salty Jack comes sailing back into the thread

Hey look at what I found! Pics of Dick Cheney and Monica L in a hot tub!

Surrender your treasure now!

Hey - what do these slaadi have of value anyway?


General J. Debauchery wrote:
I appreciate the air dry and the applause but we Jacks haven't won yet.

{looks up from digging through rubble} Cobbie GONE! {getting angrier} Eekster like spiders. Eekster LIKE COBBIE! {stomps toward General J. Debauchery}


Enraged Eekster Hulk wrote:
Dick Cheney wrote:

That's it... I'm counting down for my nuke drop...

3...

{hears plane engines, looks up} Not turtle- Plane. What puny humans do now?

Egg Slaad wrote:

<loosens all the nuts on Jack Hammer, takes all the parts and rearranges them, reconnecting them into a strange mass of appendages that clank and shake when it moves>

Hmmm, I think I missed a step in the assembly instructions. I have all these parts left over. Oh well ...

<tosses the extra parts aside>

{gamma throws (ala B.A. Barracus) Jack Hammer back to Jacks thread}

How ruuuuudeeee!


Enraged Eekster Hulk wrote:
General J. Debauchery wrote:
I appreciate the air dry and the applause but we Jacks haven't won yet.
{looks up from digging through rubble} Cobbie GONE! {getting angrier} Eekster like spiders. Eekster LIKE COBBIE! {stomps toward General J. Debauchery}

Look! Peter Pan!

hides behind rubble and aims the gamma-reducer, firing at the behemoth's back

learned that one from that Dick Cheney dude.


These jacks are not taking me seriously. This is the last warning. I will nuke the messageboards...


Dick Cheney wrote:
These jacks are not taking me seriously. This is the last warning. I will nuke the messageboards...

4...


Dick Cheney wrote:
These jacks are not taking me seriously. This is the last warning. I will nuke the messageboards...

5...


Salty Jack wrote:
Hey - what do these slaadi have of value anyway?

Ross back?! Slaadi have Chaos! Slaadi have Freedom! Slaadi have pic-a-nics! Need no more!!!

General J. Debauchery wrote:
hides behind rubble and aims the gamma-reducer, firing at the behemoth's back

{visibly weakens, just gets angrier... gamma wollops General J. Debauchery} ROSS NEXT!


1 and a half!


Enraged Eekster Hulk wrote:
Salty Jack wrote:
Hey - what do these slaadi have of value anyway?

Ross back?! Slaadi have Herpes! Slaadi have Crabs! Slaadi have pic-a-nose! Need more!!!

General J. Debauchery wrote:
hides behind rubble and aims the gamma-reducer, firing at the behemoth's back

{visibly weakens, just gets angrier... gamma wollops General J. Debauchery} ROSS NEXT!

Ninja'd by the gamma-reducing ray! Fixed your entry too! ;P


Dick Cheney wrote:
1 and a half!

Kinda like when you dated that 3-legged woman, huh? I have the picture right here.


Dick Cheney wrote:
These jacks are not taking me seriously. This is the last warning. I will nuke the messageboards...
Salty Jack wrote:
4...
General J. Debauchery wrote:
5...

Assuming General J.T. Ripper- er, Mr. Cheney isn't bluffing, if he nukes the thread, you Jacks will have irradiated all the Slaadi... turning them ALL into Hulks. Do you Jacks really want that?


Salty Jack wrote:
Dick Cheney wrote:
1 and a half!
Kinda like when you dated that 3-legged woman, huh? I have the picture right here.

Are you seriously trying to blackmail me?

What the hell kind of reputation do you think I have to protect?

Daft...


Eekster Buhnay wrote:
Dick Cheney wrote:
These jacks are not taking me seriously. This is the last warning. I will nuke the messageboards...
Salty Jack wrote:
4...
General J. Debauchery wrote:
5...
Assuming General J.T. Ripper- er, Mr. Cheney isn't bluffing, if he nukes the thread, you Jacks will have irradiated all the Slaadi... turning them ALL into Hulks. Do you Jacks really want that?

Green Eggs and a Ham?


Dick Cheney wrote:
Salty Jack wrote:
Dick Cheney wrote:
1 and a half!
Kinda like when you dated that 3-legged woman, huh? I have the picture right here.

Are you seriously trying to blackmail me?

What the hell kind of reputation do you think I have to protect?

Daft...

Monica wants child support...


Is there ANY beer around here that isn't spiked with acid?


Eekster Buhnay wrote:
Dick Cheney wrote:
These jacks are not taking me seriously. This is the last warning. I will nuke the messageboards...
Salty Jack wrote:
4...
General J. Debauchery wrote:
5...
Assuming General J.T. Ripper- er, Mr. Cheney isn't bluffing, if he nukes the thread, you Jacks will have irradiated all the Slaadi... turning them ALL into Hulks. Do you Jacks really want that?

As long as Ambrosia looks like She-Hulk, I might be okay with it... :D

Scratch that. Nuking things is bad (but the She-Hulk angle isn't). Shadow Jumping back to the party now ;)

Sovereign Court

Eekster Buhnay wrote:
Dick Cheney wrote:
These jacks are not taking me seriously. This is the last warning. I will nuke the messageboards...
Salty Jack wrote:
4...
General J. Debauchery wrote:
5...
Assuming General J.T. Ripper- er, Mr. Cheney isn't bluffing, if he nukes the thread, you Jacks will have irradiated all the Slaadi... turning them ALL into Hulks. Do you Jacks really want that?

Since there's only two of them left, I think we'll be fine.


Eekster Buhnay wrote:
Assuming General J.T. Ripper- er, Mr. Cheney isn't bluffing, if he nukes the thread, you Jacks will have irradiated all the Slaadi... turning them ALL into Hulks. Do you Jacks really want that?

Ugh, Eekster Banner in Hulk head always talk! DROP BOMBS! MAKE MORE SLAAD HULKS!!!

{gamma punches self in head to shut up Eekster Banner, flies out of thread}

Sovereign Court

Enraged Eekster Hulk wrote:
Eekster Buhnay wrote:
Assuming General J.T. Ripper- er, Mr. Cheney isn't bluffing, if he nukes the thread, you Jacks will have irradiated all the Slaadi... turning them ALL into Hulks. Do you Jacks really want that?

Ugh, Eekster Banner in Hulk head always talk! DROP BOMBS! MAKE MORE SLAAD HULKS!!!

{gamma punches self in head to shut up Eekster Banner, flies out of thread}

Huzzah! We won! Jack Hammer is promoted!


Where'd all the slaadi go?

ACK!

*flees by helicopter to a bunker in an undisclosed location*


Devlyn, Jack o' Nine Dales wrote:
As long as Ambrosia looks like She-Hulk, I might be okay with it... :D

{telepathically:} HEY! Don't flirt with my sister! Sure, we used to occupy the same skull, but the FaWTL thread's arrival sent out causality quakes throughout the OTD Realms, splitting us apart.

When I get back Mr. Dalesman, you're getting a spanking! {giggles}


Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
Devlyn, Jack o' Nine Dales wrote:
As long as Ambrosia looks like She-Hulk, I might be okay with it... :D

{telepathically:} HEY! Don't flirt with my sister! Sure, we used to occupy the same skull, but the FaWTL thread's arrival sent out causality quakes throughout the OTD Realms, splitting us apart.

When I get back Mr. Dalesman, you're getting a spanking! {giggles}

[Best Spock Impersonation]"Fascinating..."[/Best Spock Impersonation] ;P


<comes running into the thread>

It's so scary out there and I ...

<looks around at the random destruction>

Do you all redecorate?

<Notices signs of the Jacks having been here ... empty beer cans, discarded copies of Play Poodle, the LAW-mower>

AHHHHH!!! JACKS!!!

<runs out of thread in a cloud of feathers>


Callous Jack wrote:
Enraged Eekster Hulk wrote:
Eekster Buhnay wrote:
Assuming General J.T. Ripper- er, Mr. Cheney isn't bluffing, if he nukes the thread, you Jacks will have irradiated all the Slaadi... turning them ALL into Hulks. Do you Jacks really want that?

Ugh, Eekster Banner in Hulk head always talk! DROP BOMBS! MAKE MORE SLAAD HULKS!!!

{gamma punches self in head to shut up Eekster Banner, flies out of thread}

Huzzah! We won! Jack Hammer is promoted!

Huzzah!


Chicken Slaad wrote:

<comes running into the thread>

It's so scary out there and I ...

<looks around at the random destruction>

Do you all redecorate?

<Notices signs of the Jacks having been here ... empty beer cans, discarded copies of Play Poodle, the LAW-mower>

AHHHHH!!! JACKS!!!

<runs out of thread in a cloud of feathers>

Not to mention myself. They failed to punt me out do to my roots.

I am going to depart now, though. I am tired of all this. the beer poisoners have been punished, and that is enough.
*Leaves*


{looks around at wreckage, craters, and assorted Jack-related garbage}

*ssh*les. {sighs}

Thankfully, I don't see any bodies. Hopefully the Slaadi were elsewhere or all escaped. {gets out bleach and garbage bags, puts on rubber gloves, starts cleaning up}

{salts the ground where PlantJack had his roots, then dumps a couple gallons of RoundUp on the unholy spot}


*peers into thread*

Is it safe to come back?

*re-forms into Tossed Slaad*

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