Surrender Slaadi! Acknowledge the Jacks as your Masters and we shall set the terms of your tribute!{gamma pounds JH into the dirt}NOW!!!
*giant worms pull JH underground*
JH climbs out of the earth, and spits out chunks of giant worm.
I've got chunks of worms bigger than that in my stool! That wouldn't make the cut to sit in the bottom of a bottle of mesquale!
<pops back from the corner Chaos Quickie Mart>
He, look what I found at the Quickie Mart!
<pulls out cases of wrenches, prybars and pneumatic drills>
Come here Jacks, you look like you have some loose bolts. Let me adjust them for you.
That's it... I'm counting down for my nuke drop...
3...
You look like General Ross- {advances menacingly}Salty calls for naval support
Hey? You guys think you could keep the skies clear for us? We're trying to have a simple little ground war here.
Look! A Flying Turtle!
Uses a salt spray on the gamma-enhanced slaad when he turns around.
Eekster hate men with guns! {smushes his gun attachment, gamma pimp-slaps him}The general pulls his right hand off, revealing a Vulcan machine gun.
Now to mow down some merc bums!
sprays hot lead
That cost the army millions to develop! OK, it really only cost $220 but the contractor charged millions.
Attaches gamma-neutralizing arm attachment
<pops back from the corner Chaos Quickie Mart>
He, look what I found at the Quickie Mart!
<pulls out cases of wrenches, prybars and pneumatic drills>
Come here Jacks, you look like you have some loose bolts. Let me adjust them for you.
Hey look! Egg Slaad finally found his nuts!
Look! A Flying Turtle!{looks for Gamera} Where-?
Uses a salt spray on the gamma-enhanced slaad when he turns around.
No Gamera? Now, salt but NO LIME OR TEQUILA?!?! {gamma punts him back to Jack thread}
That's it... I'm counting down for my nuke drop...
3...
4...
Look! A Flying Turtle!{looks for Gamera} Where-?Uses a salt spray on the gamma-enhanced slaad when he turns around.No Gamera? Now, salt but NO LIME OR TEQUILA?!?! {gamma punts him back to Jack thread}
woo hoo! I still have the booze!
Hey look! Egg Slaad finally found his nuts!<pops back from the corner Chaos Quickie Mart>
He, look what I found at the Quickie Mart!
<pulls out cases of wrenches, prybars and pneumatic drills>
Come here Jacks, you look like you have some loose bolts. Let me adjust them for you.
Silly Jack, nuts are for loosening.
<loosens all the nuts on Jack Hammer, takes all the parts and rearranges them, reconnecting them into a strange mass of appendages that clank and shake when it moves>
Hmmm, I think I missed a step in the assembly instructions. I have all these parts left over. Oh well ...
<tosses the extra parts aside>
4...That's it... I'm counting down for my nuke drop...
3...
Stop trying to confuse me!
3...
That cost the army millions to develop! OK, it really only cost $220 but the contractor charged millions.
Attaches gamma-neutralizing arm attachment
{slaps hands together to blow the General down} YOU NOT PLAY NICE!
That's it... I'm counting down for my nuke drop...
3...
{hears plane engines, looks up} Not turtle- Plane. What puny humans do now?
<loosens all the nuts on Jack Hammer, takes all the parts and rearranges them, reconnecting them into a strange mass of appendages that clank and shake when it moves>
Hmmm, I think I missed a step in the assembly instructions. I have all these parts left over. Oh well ...
<tosses the extra parts aside>
{gamma throws (ala B.A. Barracus) Jack Hammer back to Jacks thread}
2...
Wait a minute, are they gone?
2...
What Oscar the Grouch count for? {starts digging through rubble to find Cobb Spider}
<loosens all the nuts on Jack's Hammer>
You'll have to buy me a drink first..
2...
3...
Don't push my buttons, General. It will mean the end of your precious clubhouse AND the Dark and Stormy.
That cost the army millions to develop! OK, it really only cost $220 but the contractor charged millions.
Attaches gamma-neutralizing arm attachment
{slaps hands together to blow the General down} YOU NOT PLAY NICE!
I appreciate the air dry and the applause but we Jacks haven't won yet.
Don't push my buttons, General. It will mean the end of your precious clubhouse AND the Dark and Stormy.
Salty Jack comes sailing back into the thread
Hey look at what I found! Pics of Dick Cheney and Monica L in a hot tub!
Surrender your treasure now!
Hey - what do these slaadi have of value anyway?
I appreciate the air dry and the applause but we Jacks haven't won yet.
{looks up from digging through rubble} Cobbie GONE! {getting angrier} {stomps toward General J. Debauchery}
That's it... I'm counting down for my nuke drop...
3...
{hears plane engines, looks up} Not turtle- Plane. What puny humans do now?
{gamma throws (ala B.A. Barracus) Jack Hammer back to Jacks thread}<loosens all the nuts on Jack Hammer, takes all the parts and rearranges them, reconnecting them into a strange mass of appendages that clank and shake when it moves>
Hmmm, I think I missed a step in the assembly instructions. I have all these parts left over. Oh well ...
<tosses the extra parts aside>
How ruuuuudeeee!
I appreciate the air dry and the applause but we Jacks haven't won yet.{looks up from digging through rubble} Cobbie GONE! {getting angrier} {stomps toward General J. Debauchery}
Look! Peter Pan!
hides behind rubble and aims the gamma-reducer, firing at the behemoth's back
These jacks are not taking me seriously. This is the last warning. I will nuke the messageboards...
These jacks are not taking me seriously. This is the last warning. I will nuke the messageboards...
4...
These jacks are not taking me seriously. This is the last warning. I will nuke the messageboards...
5...
Hey - what do these slaadi have of value anyway?
Ross back?!
hides behind rubble and aims the gamma-reducer, firing at the behemoth's back
{visibly weakens, just gets angrier... gamma wollops General J. Debauchery}
1 and a half!
Hey - what do these slaadi have of value anyway?Ross back?!
hides behind rubble and aims the gamma-reducer, firing at the behemoth's back{visibly weakens, just gets angrier... gamma wollops General J. Debauchery}
1 and a half!
Kinda like when you dated that 3-legged woman, huh? I have the picture right here.
These jacks are not taking me seriously. This is the last warning. I will nuke the messageboards...
4...
5...
1 and a half!Kinda like when you dated that 3-legged woman, huh? I have the picture right here.
Are you seriously trying to blackmail me?
What the hell kind of reputation do you think I have to protect?
Daft...
These jacks are not taking me seriously. This is the last warning. I will nuke the messageboards...4...5...
1 and a half!Kinda like when you dated that 3-legged woman, huh? I have the picture right here.Are you seriously trying to blackmail me?
What the hell kind of reputation do you think I have to protect?
Daft...
Monica wants child support...
Is there ANY beer around here that isn't spiked with acid?
These jacks are not taking me seriously. This is the last warning. I will nuke the messageboards...4...5...
Ugh, Eekster Banner in Hulk head always talk! DROP BOMBS!
{gamma punches self in head to shut up Eekster Banner, flies out of thread}
Where'd all the slaadi go?
ACK!
*flees by helicopter to a bunker in an undisclosed location*
{telepathically:} HEY! Don't flirt with my sister! Sure, we used to occupy the same skull, but the FaWTL thread's arrival sent out causality quakes throughout the OTD Realms, splitting us apart.
When I get back Mr. Dalesman, you're getting a spanking! {giggles}
{telepathically:} HEY! Don't flirt with my sister! Sure, we used to occupy the same skull, but the FaWTL thread's arrival sent out causality quakes throughout the OTD Realms, splitting us apart.
When I get back Mr. Dalesman, you're getting a spanking! {giggles}
[Best Spock Impersonation]"Fascinating..."[/Best Spock Impersonation] ;P
<comes running into the thread>
It's so scary out there and I ...
<looks around at the random destruction>
Do you all redecorate?
<Notices signs of the Jacks having been here ... empty beer cans, discarded copies of Play Poodle, the LAW-mower>
AHHHHH!!! JACKS!!!
<runs out of thread in a cloud of feathers>
Huzzah! We won! Jack Hammer is promoted!Ugh, Eekster Banner in Hulk head always talk! DROP BOMBS!
{gamma punches self in head to shut up Eekster Banner, flies out of thread}
Huzzah!
<comes running into the thread>
It's so scary out there and I ...
<looks around at the random destruction>
Do you all redecorate?
<Notices signs of the Jacks having been here ... empty beer cans, discarded copies of Play Poodle, the LAW-mower>
AHHHHH!!! JACKS!!!
<runs out of thread in a cloud of feathers>
Not to mention myself. They failed to punt me out do to my roots.
I am going to depart now, though. I am tired of all this. the beer poisoners have been punished, and that is enough.*Leaves*
{looks around at wreckage, craters, and assorted Jack-related garbage}
*ssh*les. {sighs}
Thankfully, I don't see any bodies. Hopefully the Slaadi were elsewhere or all escaped. {gets out bleach and garbage bags, puts on rubber gloves, starts cleaning up}
{salts the ground where PlantJack had his roots, then dumps a couple gallons of RoundUp on the unholy spot}
*peers into thread*
Is it safe to come back?
*re-forms into Tossed Slaad*