Enraged Eekster Hulk's page

I love bulk. Don't kill bulk. Bookeeping is so much easier with it.

In Starfinder, it's mostly add up the number of bulks, only some things aren't bulks at all, and some times are part of bulks and so many of those become bulk.

Bulk isn't a perfect system, but it is way easier.

Bulk

Bulk

Bulk

Bulk

Something I would like to see from Starfinder?

Skittermanders

Give them to us.

No 'Manders, ONLY BULK!!! (Sorry, couldn't resist.)

{whistles innocently}

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

Kavren Stark is banned for having the salmon mousse.

Demi-Lich H. Ross Perot is banned for not continuing in the Monty Python vein.

Darksmokepuncher is Hulk-smashed for failing a Knowledge check.

...

Sunglasses of Justice is banned because the future is not so bright ya gotta wear shades.

Edit: SoJ is extra banned because now I have that stupid song stuck in my head again.

If you liked Hulk, then you should have put a ring on Hulk {dances}

{unconscious, gamma-infused amazon in shredded clothing lands in dumpster outside} <WHUMP!> {adrenaline levels drop and figure slowly morphs...}

Assuming General J.T. Ripper- er, Mr. Cheney isn't bluffing, if he nukes the thread, you Jacks will have irradiated all the Slaadi... turning them ALL into Hulks. Do you Jacks really want that?

Ugh, Eekster Banner in Hulk head always talk! DROP BOMBS! MAKE MORE SLAAD HULKS!!!

{gamma punches self in head to shut up Eekster Banner, flies out of thread}

Hey - what do these slaadi have of value anyway?

Ross back?! Slaadi have Chaos! Slaadi have Freedom! Slaadi have pic-a-nics! Need no more!!!

hides behind rubble and aims the gamma-reducer, firing at the behemoth's back

{visibly weakens, just gets angrier... gamma wollops General J. Debauchery} ROSS NEXT!

I appreciate the air dry and the applause but we Jacks haven't won yet.

{looks up from digging through rubble} Cobbie GONE! {getting angrier} Eekster like spiders. Eekster LIKE COBBIE! {stomps toward General J. Debauchery}

2...

What Oscar the Grouch count for? {starts digging through rubble to find Cobb Spider}

That's it... I'm counting down for my nuke drop...

3...

{hears plane engines, looks up} Not turtle- Plane. What puny humans do now?

<loosens all the nuts on Jack Hammer, takes all the parts and rearranges them, reconnecting them into a strange mass of appendages that clank and shake when it moves>

Hmmm, I think I missed a step in the assembly instructions. I have all these parts left over. Oh well ...

<tosses the extra parts aside>

{gamma throws (ala B.A. Barracus) Jack Hammer back to Jacks thread}

That cost the army millions to develop! OK, it really only cost $220 but the contractor charged millions.

Attaches gamma-neutralizing arm attachment

{slaps hands together to blow the General down} YOU NOT PLAY NICE! AMBROSIA GONE! COBBIE GONE! YOU GO HOME NOW!!!!!

I always thought the Hulk's "smack hands together" gag was dumb, but it is canon and Jacks don't play fair.

Look! A Flying Turtle!

Uses a salt spray on the gamma-enhanced slaad when he turns around.

No Gamera? Now, salt but NO LIME OR TEQUILA?!?! EEKSTER HATE YOU BOGARTING BOOZE {gamma punts him back to Jack thread}

*wanders back into the thread*

Someone told me there was a party going on here. I brought my bongos!

Eekster hate hippehs!!! {gamma punts him to Dark & Stormy thread}

Salty calls for naval support

Hey? You guys think you could keep the skies clear for us? We're trying to have a simple little ground war here.

You look like General Ross- Eekster HATE ROSS!!! {advances menacingly}

The general pulls his right hand off, revealing a Vulcan machine gun.

Now to mow down some merc bums!

sprays hot lead

Eekster hate men with guns! Eekster SMASH!!! {smushes his gun attachment, gamma pimp-slaps him}

Surrender Slaadi! Acknowledge the Jacks as your Masters and we shall set the terms of your tribute!

ROOOOAAAAR!!! <POW!> {gamma pounds JH into the dirt}

{rather expensive latex catsuit splits and tears, yet somehow enough remains to cover naughty bits} RAWWWWWWR!

I am immune. I am a golem, do you remember?

Eekster SMASH!!! {gamma punts him back to Jack thread}

2

{hears Dueling Banjoes coming from the woods} Plinky-plonk music make Eekster less angry.
Feel sleepy.
Fake doggie not here. {wanders off into deep underbrush searching for Deliverance Fey}

{gamma-leaps into thread} RAAAAAAAAWWWWWR!!!!
Where you go, Greenish-Grey Fake Doggie?
Eekster feed you knuckle-sandwich!!! {stomps about angrily}

{gamma-leaps into thread} RAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWR!!!!
Where fake Green-Grey doggie?!?!
Eekster NOT dog! Eekster slaad-buhnay! Eekster find fake doggie and SMASH!!! {starts smashing squeaky toys and stomping treats}
Not find mean fake doggie! Eekster hunt and squash! {gamma-leaps to Untitled II thread}

RAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWR!!!!!
Eekster SMASH puny mutt! {gamma-punts Greyish-Greenish Slaad into RotPL thread}