\I wish I could always land safely on my feet - like a cat.
Granted. You find yourself able to fall any height, and land safely. You also develop passionate cravings for tinned fish, cream and catnip. You see a rat dashing from a storm drain, and chase it instinctively. A car hits you. The coroner is fascinated by your slit pupils, and puts your eyes in a jar as a marvel.
I wish that everybody in the world had access to clean water, and electricity, from sustainable and environmentally sensible sources.
I wish my girlfriend would be able to move down to Georgia with me.
Your girlfriend moves down to Georgia with you. She is wonderful, and the two of you are very happy, until she starts listening to the radio, and gets suddenly converted to fundamentalist christianity. She starts to change from the woman you love into a strident, shrill, judgemental freak, who insists that you marry her, and gives you no rest. Any attempt to talk sense into her is met with stony silence, and her fundie friends glare at you as if you were some sort of pervert. Finally, she makes a bonfire of all your gaming gear while you are at work.
I wish that every country in the world would legalise marijuana, LSD, prostitution, abortion, free speech and the right to assembly.
I wish that every country in the world would legalise marijuana, LSD, prostitution, abortion, free speech and the right to assembly.
Granted!
The United Nations strips the power from every national government and then legalizes everything. Unfortunately that includes firearms, crack, heroin, and nuclear weapons. The world dies in a ball of fire two days later.
I wish for a harem of intelligent, attractive women to distract me from my studies.
I wish for a harem of intelligent, attractive women to distract me from my studies.
Congrats! You're a eunuch with severe attention-deficit syndrome.
I wish, through perfectly legal and ethical means, that I had the financial means to afford my medication and needed surgery.
I wish, through perfectly legal and ethical means, that I had the financial means to afford my medication and needed surgery.
Granted. You slip on a wet floor one day, and get a large settelment out-of-court because a janitor didn't put a 'Wet Floor" sign up. You get the money needed for your medications and surgery, but you later learn the janitor had 7 kids and was fired because he forgot to the sign up. He has yet to find a new job.
I wish to be able to breath underwater while retaining the ability to breath air, and no one cares that I can do so.
Granted. You slip on a wet floor one day, and get a large settelment out-of-court because a janitor didn't put a 'Wet Floor" sign up. You get the money needed for your medications and surgery, but you later learn the janitor had 7 kids and was fired because he forgot to the sign up. He has yet to find a new job.
Morally I guess that works, but I meant that it would be something I was ethically ok with. Although by this point, I'd probably think "my ethics be damned." That's awful for him and his family, but it's also a lot less disturbing than what I had thought up. Still, I was raised RC, so I'll shortly be feeling guilty for hypothetically ruining the janitor's life. :)
I wish to be able to breath underwater while retaining the ability to breath air, and no one cares that I can do so.
Poof! You're now a commercial diver with diving gear, rebreather, and a full tank of air. While at maximum depth, you return to your diving bell to silence. Pirates have captured your surface supply ship. Once they've killed off the original crew, they cut your diving bell loose. At this point, you're the only one left that's concerned with how you breathe.
Morally I guess that works, but I meant that it would be something I was ethically ok with. Although by this point, I'd probably think "my ethics be damned." That's awful for him and his family, but it's also a lot less disturbing than what I had thought up. Still, I was raised RC, so I'll shortly be feeling guilty for hypothetically ruining the janitor's life. :)
Now, now. You got the money in a perfectly legal and ethical way. You only learned what happened to the janitor later, and in no way did what happened to him stop the way you got your money from being perfectly legal and ethical.
Now, now. You got the money in a perfectly legal and ethical way. You only learned what happened to the janitor later, and in no way did what happened to him stop the way you got your money from being perfectly legal and ethical.
Touche. I should have specified my ethics, not what the wishgranter considers ethical nor society considers moral.
And I forgot to make a wish (greedy aren't I?)... I wish the Jacks and Poodles would just learn to love one another and to give peace a chance.
I wish the Jacks and Poodles would just learn to love one another and to give peace a chance.
Poof. A Jack and a Poodle are forced to live with eachother in a one bedroom, one bath, apartment. Soon hate gives way to neutrality, which then gives way to love. A Poodle and Jack version of Romeo & Juliet ensues, with a very different ending. Your wish(and the Poodle) gives birth to a new type of Alias: The Poodle Jack. The Poodles and the Jacks make amends and give peace a chance.
Afterpost: Ew, just ew. Also, if there already is a Poodle Jack, the above wish is what caused it.
I wish I could fly.
Afterpost: Ew, just ew. Also, if there already is a Poodle Jack, the above wish is what caused it.
I ...LIVE!
MUAHAHHAA!
Poof. A Jack and a Poodle are forced to live with each other in a one bedroom, one bath, apartment. Soon hate gives way to neutrality, which then gives way to love. A Poodle and Jack version of Romeo & Juliet ensues, with a very different ending. Your wish (and the Poodle) gives birth to a new type of Alias: The Poodle Jack. The Poodles and the Jacks make amends and give peace a chance.
Afterpost: Ew, just ew. Also, if there already is a Poodle Jack, the above wish is what caused it.
ARGH! {brain melts like bad guys at the end of Raiders of the Lost arc} The horror, the horror... ye gods, what have I done?!
I wish I could fly.
Wha-? {glances confusedly at avatar wings and 'Astral' moniker} bu-, but, you alread- {brain still too melty to process}
Afterpost: Ew, just ew. Also, if there already is a Poodle Jack, the above wish is what caused it.
I ...LIVE!
MUAHAHHAA!
I notice you created that alias purely to mess with Ambrosia...
Poof. A Jack and a Poodle are forced to live with each other in a one bedroom, one bath, apartment. Soon hate gives way to neutrality, which then gives way to love. A Poodle and Jack version of Romeo & Juliet ensues, with a very different ending. Your wish (and the Poodle) gives birth to a new type of Alias: The Poodle Jack. The Poodles and the Jacks make amends and give peace a chance.
Afterpost: Ew, just ew. Also, if there already is a Poodle Jack, the above wish is what caused it.
ARGH! {brain melts like bad guys at the end of Raiders of the Lost arc} The horror, the horror... ye gods, what have I done?!
I wish I could fly.Wha-? {glances confusedly at avatar wings and 'Astral' moniker} bu-, but, you alread- {brain still too melty to process}
+1
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I wish the Jacks and Poodles would just learn to love one another and to give peace a chance.Poof. A Jack and a Poodle are forced to live with eachother in a one bedroom, one bath, apartment. Soon hate gives way to neutrality, which then gives way to love. A Poodle and Jack version of Romeo & Juliet ensues, with a very different ending. Your wish(and the Poodle) gives birth to a new type of Alias: The Poodle Jack. The Poodles and the Jacks make amends and give peace a chance.
Afterpost: Ew, just ew. Also, if there already is a Poodle Jack, the above wish is what caused it.
I wish I could fly.
You can. :p Unfortunately, it remains in effect when you sleep, unlike normal sleep paralysis. You find yourself waking up in very strange locations, up until the day when you fly into a jetliner engine in your sleep.
I wish tourists weren't such blithering imbeciles.
I wish tourists weren't such blithering imbeciles.
Hmm .. I got nuthin'
Wait ..
GRANTED!
All tourists suddenly become locals. They no longer strut around thinking they own the place. The only problem is that now they stay all year round, so that the entire year your town is clogged with their cars, dogs and whiny kids.
I wish I had a roast beef sandwich
I wish tourists weren't such blithering imbeciles.Hmm .. I got nuthin'
Wait ..
GRANTED!
All tourists suddenly become locals. They no longer strut around thinking they own the place. The only problem is that now they stay all year round, so that the entire year your town is clogged with their cars, dogs and whiny kids.
I wish I had a roast beef snadwich
Granted! However, because snadwiches don't exist, creating one has torn a gaping hole in reality that will swallow us all.
I wish all the webcomics I read updated more often.EDIT: Too late! Already quoted your post!
EDIT: Too late! Already quoted your post!
You win this time rat-lizard!
shakes fuzzy fist at KC
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Poof. A Jack and a Poodle are forced to live with each other in a one bedroom, one bath, apartment. Soon hate gives way to neutrality, which then gives way to love. A Poodle and Jack version of Romeo & Juliet ensues, with a very different ending. Your wish (and the Poodle) gives birth to a new type of Alias: The Poodle Jack. The Poodles and the Jacks make amends and give peace a chance.
Afterpost: Ew, just ew. Also, if there already is a Poodle Jack, the above wish is what caused it.
ARGH! {brain melts like bad guys at the end of Raiders of the Lost arc} The horror, the horror... ye gods, what have I done?!
I wish I could fly.Wha-? {glances confusedly at avatar wings and 'Astral' moniker} bu-, but, you alread- {brain still too melty to process}
Tch. A waste of a perfectly good mind, that.
I wish all the webcomics I read updated more often.
Alright. All your favorite webcomics' posting frequency increases exponentially. Within a week they begin to update a dozen times per secind, and they keep going faster. Your head explodes from the sheer effort it takes to read them all.
I wish my basement did not flood last Saturday.
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I wish all the webcomics I read updated more often.Alright. All your favorite webcomics' posting frequency increases exponentially. Within a week they begin to update a dozen times per secind, and they keep going faster. Your head explodes from the sheer effort it takes to read them all.
I wish my basement did not flood last Saturday.
You basement did not flood last Saturday. Instead, a complex twist in spacetime tore open and began spitting out scuttling Things From Beyond. Now your entire house is a non-Euclidean hive of loathsome and blasphemous entities from beyond time and space, and you have been transformed into their flesh-puppet to be their face in the world, gathering their supplies as needed for them to overrun the whole of the Earth.
I wish I lived someplace more pleasant than the desert.
I wish all the webcomics I read updated more often.Alright. All your favorite webcomics' posting frequency increases exponentially. Within a week they begin to update a dozen times per secind, and they keep going faster. Your head explodes from the sheer effort it takes to read them all.
I wish my basement did not flood last Saturday.
You basement did not flood last Saturday. Instead, a complex twist in spacetime tore open and began spitting out scuttling Things From Beyond. Now your entire house is a non-Euclidean hive of loathsome and blasphemous entities from beyond time and space, and you have been transformed into their flesh-puppet to be their face in the world, gathering their supplies as needed for them to overrun the whole of the Earth.
I wish I lived someplace more pleasant than the desert.
Granted. You now live in the ocean. Regretting that in the desert you never learned to swim, you drown.
I wish I had the power to remove 4E from existence.
You basement did not flood last Saturday. Instead, a complex twist in spacetime tore open and began spitting out scuttling Things From Beyond. Now your entire house is a non-Euclidean hive of loathsome and blasphemous entities from beyond time and space, and you have been transformed into their flesh-puppet to be their face in the world, gathering their supplies as needed for them to overrun the whole of the Earth.
Hey, I applied for that job! Rats, it's because I can't speak C'thulhu, right? Freaking economy...
You basement did not flood last Saturday. Instead, a complex twist in spacetime tore open and began spitting out scuttling Things From Beyond. Now your entire house is a non-Euclidean hive of loathsome and blasphemous entities from beyond time and space, and you have been transformed into their flesh-puppet to be their face in the world, gathering their supplies as needed for them to overrun the whole of the Earth.Hey, I applied for that job! Rats, it's because I can't speak C'thulhu, right? Freaking economy...
Eh, it's not really all it's cracked up to be. Oh, it has great security, but the pay's horrible. Besides, do you really want your office to be shaped like a concentric circle?
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I wish all the webcomics I read updated more often.Alright. All your favorite webcomics' posting frequency increases exponentially. Within a week they begin to update a dozen times per secind, and they keep going faster. Your head explodes from the sheer effort it takes to read them all.
I wish my basement did not flood last Saturday.
You basement did not flood last Saturday. Instead, a complex twist in spacetime tore open and began spitting out scuttling Things From Beyond. Now your entire house is a non-Euclidean hive of loathsome and blasphemous entities from beyond time and space, and you have been transformed into their flesh-puppet to be their face in the world, gathering their supplies as needed for them to overrun the whole of the Earth.
I wish I lived someplace more pleasant than the desert.
Granted. You now live in the ocean. Regretting that in the desert you never learned to swim, you drown.
I wish I had the power to remove 4E from existence.
You do, but, unfortunately, your powers are so great that they can't focus on just 4E D&D. If you tried to destroy it, you would destroy anything that used 4E, all D&D editions, all people who have played D&D, everyone who has played a fantasy-RPG, anyone who has read fantasy books, anyone who knows anyone who has anything to do with D&D, all movie producers who have relied on D&D roleplaying, all the planets that house creatures who know anything about fantasy, all of the D&D multiverses, all of the multiverses with multiversal travelers from D&D-having multiverses, the entire universe, and the entire supermultiverse.
I wish dogs and horses went extinct.
I wish dogs and horses went extinct.
Granted. Early fish-like life possessing potential chromosomes to evolve into four limb animals are wiped out (made extinct) by jellyfish -- all those potential dogs and horses are selected out of existence -- four limbed mammals never evolve. Eons later, 60-foot long and 4-foot high millipedes sit at the apex of the food chain.
I wish I could program a computer in C++ to play chess.
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Eons later, 60-foot long and 4-foot high millipedes sit at the apex of the food chain.
Awesome! New mounts!
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I wish dogs and horses went extinct.Granted. Early fish-like life possessing potential chromosomes to evolve into four limb animals are wiped out (made extinct) by jellyfish -- all those potential dogs and horses are selected out of existence -- four limbed mammals never evolve. Eons later, 60-foot long and 4-foot high millipedes sit at the apex of the food chain.
I wish I could program a computer in C++ to play chess.
You can. Unfortunately, your social skills disappear completely and you're stuck playing by yourself until you die from diabetes.
I wish... someone else was on the forums to make a fun wish.
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I wish I lived someplace more pleasant than the desert.Granted. You now live in the ocean. Regretting that in the desert you never learned to swim, you drown.
I wish I had the power to remove 4E from existence.
That... Is true. I cannot swim. I sink - sort of. Neutral buoyancy is about three feet under the surface...
I wish... someone else was on the forums to make a fun wish.
Poof. I am here. Or am I not who you wanted to show up?
I wish... for a pepperoni pizza that I can have all to myself.
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I wish that the movie, Hardware, would be made into a Broadway Musical.
Granted...Unfortunately, a wealthy fan of the movie buys up every ticket for every showing. This results in thousands of angry fans rioting through the streets when they are unable to get tickets. Hundreds are injured and property damage runs into the millions of dollars. Eventually, martial law is declared, followed by the show being shut down as a public hazard.
I wish I didn't have to go back to In-Service day.
Tch. A waste of a perfectly good mind, that.
Not really, I try to get it wasted on semi-regular basis, though sadly, not nearly as often as it did when I was but a much younger slaadling.
I wish I was a healthier weight.
Abra-ca-pocus! You realize you now are shacked to a stone floor. A venerable red dragon pokes you in the belly: "Yes, very healthy indeed. But please try not try and escape so much... too much exercise isn't good for your weight."
Tch. A waste of a perfectly good mind, that.Not really, I try to get it wasted on semi-regular basis, though sadly, not nearly as often as it did when I was but a much younger slaadling.
I wish I was a healthier weight.Abra-ca-pocus! You realize you now are shacked to a stone floor. A venerable red dragon pokes you in the belly: "Yes, very healthy indeed. But please try not try and escape so much... too much exercise isn't good for your weight."
You're supposed to make a wish too. Just FYI.
She is still in shock from her Jack/Poodle peace wish.
Or maybe the way it was granted...
She is still in shock from her Jack/Poodle peace wish.
Or maybe the way it was granted...
Yes, this.
I'm horrified by the possibility of what might go wrong with a new wish. But being a chaotic slaad, I can't resist any longer:
I wish that no other Poodle Jack hybrids will ever be created, neither by natural {shudders} nor artificial means.
She is still in shock from her Jack/Poodle peace wish.
Or maybe the way it was granted...Yes, this.
I'm horrified by the possibility of what might go wrong with a new wish. But being a chaotic slaad, I can't resist any longer:
I wish that no other Poodle Jack hybrids will ever be created, neither by natural {shudders} nor artificial means.
I almost feel bad warping this wish.
However...Granted. There are now Poodle-Jack-Slaad hybrids.
I wish my fever would go away.
There are now Poodle-Jack-Slaad hybrids.
It coulda been worse... I coulda been one of the parents.
I wish my fever would go away.
Walla-walla-washington! As the first Slaad/Poodle/Jack hybrid bursts bloodily through your ribs and your heart stops beating, your fever begins to slowly fade.
You'll notice that KC has shocked her into forgetting to post a wish... again.
There are now Poodle-Jack-Slaad hybrids.It coulda been worse... I coulda been one of the parents.
We should really stop messing with Ambrosia, but I can't resist...
I wish Ambrosia was one of the parents!
There are now Poodle-Jack-Slaad hybrids.It coulda been worse... I coulda been one of the parents.We should really stop messing with Ambrosia, but I can't resist...
I wish Ambrosia was one of the parents!
Granted! However, you didn't specify whose parent she is. She is now your parent!
I wish I was a great artist.
There are now Poodle-Jack-Slaad hybrids.It coulda been worse... I coulda been one of the parents.We should really stop messing with Ambrosia, but I can't resist...
I wish Ambrosia was one of the parents!
Granted! However, you didn't specify whose parent she is. She is now your parent!
I wish I was a great artist.
But that means...
...
We should really stop messing with Ambrosia, but I can't resist... I wish Ambrosia was one of the parents!
Granted! However, you didn't specify whose parent she is. She is now your parent!
{twitches slightly, slowly drooling...}
I wish I was a great artist.
Granted. Before you go to sleep one night, you cut of your ear with a +1 Wounding dageer and send in to you lady love. You die from blood loss during the night because you forgot to either make a heal check or cast a cure spell...
I wish for a single gold piece(about the size of a golf ball) to gently and magically appear in my hand.
We should really stop messing with Ambrosia, but I can't resist... I wish Ambrosia was one of the parents!Granted! However, you didn't specify whose parent she is. She is now your parent!{twitches slightly, slowly drooling...}
Hey mom.
Hey mom.
Wha- wait?! I'm Poodle Jack Slaad's and Db3's Astral Projection's mom?! Ok boys, play nice... momma's gonna lie down for a bit. {faints}
mom is cool