PART ONE: CONCEPT
Male Human Fighter 4/Diviner 8/Eldritch Knight 3
Description:
Count Falconbridge is an unnerving figure. A tall man with short dark hair and a sturdy build, his defining feature is his left eye: a lidless, ruined, milky-white orb surrounded by a jagged scar. His remaining eye is hazel in colour. Among his robes are many pendants, rings, and other charms. Underneath, he wears ornate armour with a sword at his side. He exudes an air of authority and discipline.
Background:
The second son of a noble, Vincent Falconbridge was assured a post in the military. During a skirmish, he was struck down by a near-fatal blow to the head. Though horribly scarred, he survived, but the event changed him forever. Through his blinded eye, he perceived a vision; one he interpreted to mean that, although death had failed to claim him, it would return. Further, the "prophecy" revealed to him the way to avoid his fate. Without hesitation, he gathered his surviving regiment, returned home and slew his reigning brother. The visions did not stop, however, and continued to display his impending doom. With each new prophecy the Count is compelled to increasingly sinister action in order to escape his destiny. To gain absolute fealty, the Count has deceived his subjects. Claiming his visions predict a great catastrophe, they believe only he can save them and accept his edicts out of fear.
Motivations and Goals:
Selfish and delusional, Count Falconbridge is driven by his visions. Terrified of his own death, he fervently believes that his prophecies are real and hold the key to his survival. He will do whatever it takes, no matter how monstrous, in order to meet the demands of his visions. All who question the validity of his visions, his interpretations, or his edicts must be eliminated.
Short-term goal: Self-preservation: the threat of death is a problem that must be overcome daily for Count Falconbridge. As ruler, he enjoys the authority to make immediate change through law. His method is to outlaw any danger he forsees.
Long-term goal: Destroying Fate: Count Falconbridge wishes to master the secrets of divining so that he might unravel fate forever.
Adventure Hooks:
- The local area is flooded by a group of refugees - prophets and soothsayers fleeing for their lives. The Count has ordered the death of all diviners whose predictions are contrary to his own. They beg the PCs to rescue those left behind.
- During other adventures, the PCs become the targets of strange, clairvoyant assassins. The Count has had another of his visions and this time he has interpreted that the PCs must be eliminated before their actions lead to his demise.
- The PCs find themselves required to give over some of their magic, services, or treasure as per the Count's new edict.
- After the Count is defeated, the PCs discover that his "visions" originate from somewhere else. Who, or what, was sending them? Why?
PART TWO: MECHANICS
Male Human Fighter 4/Diviner 8/Eldritch Knight 3
LE Medium Humanoid
Init +6 [+2 dex, +4 improved initiative]; Senses Perception +5 [see skills section for math]
===== Defense =====
AC 27, touch 15, flat-footed 24
(+7 armor, +2 deflection, +2 dex, +1 dodge, +1 natural armor, +4 shield ) [+7 +1 mithril scalemail armor, +2 ring of protection, +2 dexterity modifer, +1 dodge from haste, amulet of natural armor +1, +4 shield from shield]
hp 120 [4d10 + 8d6 + 3d10 + 45]
Fort +13 [+4 fighter levels, +2 wizard levels, +2 eldritch knight levels, +3 Con, +2 resistance], Ref +9 [+1 fighter levels, + 2 wizard levels, +1 eldritch knight levels, +2 Dex, +1 dodge, +2 resistance], Will +10 (+11 vs. fear) [+1 fighter levels, +6 wizard levels, +1 eldritch knight levels, +2 resistance, (+1 bravery)]
===== Offense =====
Spd 50ft. [20ft base with armor + 30ft haste] (base 30ft. without armour)
Melee +2 longsword +18/+18/+13/+8 [+11/+6/+1 base attack, +3 Str, +1 haste(+1 extra attack at highest BAB), +1weapon focus, +2 enhancement] 17-20/x2 [Improved Critical] (1d8+7) [+3 Str, +2 enhancement, +2 weapon specialization]
Ranged acid arrow +13 ranged touch [+11 base attack, +2 dex] (2d4 acid + 2d4 acid for 2 rounds)
Spells Prepared (CL 10th) [8th lvl wizard (8 caster levels), 3rd lvl eldritch knight (2 caster levels)]
5th* - telekinesis (DC 20) [10 + 5th lvl spell + 5 Int. modifier]
4th - black tentacles, confusion (DC 19) [10 + 4th lvl spell + 5 Int. modifier], quickened acid splash, scrying (DC 19)
3rd - clairaudience/clairvoyance [6th lvl Diviner bonus spell] stinking cloud (DC 18) [10 + 3rd lvl spell + 5 Int. modifier], dispel magic, haste, slow(DC 18)
2nd - bull's strength, cat's grace, detect thoughts (DC 17) [10 + 2nd lvl spell + 5 Int. modifier] [4th lvl Diviner bonus spell], predicted spell**, see invisibility, touch of idiocy (DC 17)
1st - alarm, charm person, (DC 16) [10 + 1st lvl spell + 5 Int. modifier] expeditious retreat, predicted spell**, predicted spell**, shield, true strike (x5) [2nd lvl Diviner bonus spell],
0th - acid splash, detect magic, mage hand, prestidigitation
*: Count Falconbridge has one less 5th lvl spell available than normal because the first was used to cast arcane prediction (see "Before Combat").
**: Prepared via arcane prediction (see "New Spell").
Prohibited Schools evocation, necromancy
===== Tactics =====
Before Combat At the beginning of each day, Count Falconbridge first casts arcane prediction before memorizing any other spells. Afterwards, he chooses a wide variety of spells so that he is prepared for as many situations as possible. Before combat, the Count casts bull's strength, cat's grace, and shield on himself and, if he has time, haste as well. He typically keeps a dispel magic in his ring of counterspells. These spell effects are included in his stats.
During Combat The Count begins combat by casting multi-target spells, such as black tentacles, followed by stinking cloud against as many opponents as possible. He follows up with spells for specific opponents; confusion against fighter-types, touch of idiocy against spellcasters, and his wand of acid arrow for rogues. Once his spells have softened his opponents he moves into melee, choosing to focus his attacks on one foe at a time.
Morale Nothing frightens the Count more than the thought of his own demise. When reduced to 45hp or less, he will use his scroll of greater invisibility. If this seems to hamper his foes, he will take one or two parting shots at the weakest opponent, hoping to kill them. Otherwise, he will flee the area and cast see invisibility, if he hasn't already, in order to read his scroll of teleport and escape to one of his secondary lairs.
Base Statistics Without his spells cast ahead of time, Count Falconbridge has the following stats:
Init +4 [+4 improved initiative]; Senses Perception +5 [see skills section for math]
AC 20, touch 12, flat-footed 18
(+7 armor, +2 deflection, +1 natural armor )
hp 90 [4d10 + 8d6 + 3d10 + 15]
Fort +11 [+4 fighter levels, +2 wizard levels, +2 eldritch knight levels, +1 Con, +2 resistance], Ref +6 [+1 fighter levels, + 2 wizard levels, +1 eldritch knight levels, +2 resistance], Will +10 (+11 vs. fear) [+1 fighter levels, +6 wizard levels, +1 eldritch knight levels, +2 resistance, (+1 bravery)]
Spd 20ft. (base 30ft. without armour)
Melee +2 longsword +15/+10/+5 [+11/+6/+1 base attack, +1 str, +1 weapon focus, +2 enhancement] 17-20/x2 [Improved Critical] (1d8+5) [+1 str, +2 enhancement, +2 weapon specialization]
Ranged acid arrow +11 ranged touch [+11 base attack] (2d4 acid + 2d4 acid for 2 rounds)
===== Statistics =====
Str 12, Dex 10, Con 13, Int 20, Wis 10, Cha 14 [Human bonus +2 Wis, 4th lvl +1 Int, 8th lvl +1 Int, 12th lvl +1 Int]
Base Atk +11 [+4 fighter levels, + 4 wizard levels, + 2 eldritch knight levels]; CMB +12 [+11 base attack, +1 Str]
Feats Arcane Armour Mastery, Arcane Armour Training, Blind-Fight, Combat Casting, Combat Expertise, Eschew Materials, Improved Critical (longsword), Improved Initiative, Omniscient Whispers, Persuasive, Quicken Spell, Scribe Scroll, Silent Spell, Weapon Focus (longsword),Weapon Specialization (longsword)
Skills Bluff +12 [+10 ranks, +2 Cha], Diplomacy +8 [+4 ranks, +2 Cha, +2 feat (Persuasive)], Intimidate +19 [+10 ranks, +2 Cha, +3 class, +4 feat (Persuasive)], Knowledge (arcana) +23 [+15 ranks (from Headband of Vast Intellect +2), +5 Int, +3 class], Knowledge (history) +13 [+5 ranks, +5 Int, +3 class], Knowledge (local) +13 [+5 ranks, +5 Int, +3 class], Knowledge (nobility) +13 [+5 ranks, +5 Int, +3 class], Knowledge (planes) +18 [+10 ranks, +5 Int, +3 class], Linguistics +13 [+5 ranks, +5 Int, +3 class], Perception +5 [+5 ranks], Ride +8 [5 ranks, +3 class], Sense Motive +8 [+5 ranks, +3 class], Spellcraft +18 [+10 ranks, +5 Int, +3 class]
Languages Common, Elven, Dwarven, Draconic, Orc, Infernal, Abyssal, Celestial [1 automatic, 2 for starting Int, 5 for Linguistic ranks]
SQ arcane bond, armor training, bravery, cantrips, diverse training, diviner's fortune, scrying adept, specialist bonus
Combat Gear scroll of greater invisibility, scroll of stoneskin, scroll of teleport, wand of acid arrow (CL 6th, 10 charges), potion of cure serious wounds, Other Gear +1 mithril scalemail, +2 longsword, ring of protection +2, ring of counterspells, headband of vast intelligence +2 (associated skill: knowledge (arcana)), cloak of resistance+2, gloves of arrow snaring, amulet of natural armor +1
Spellbook 0- all; 1st- alarm, charm person, comprehend languages, detect secret doors, expeditious retreat, feather fall, protection from chaos, protection from evil, protection from good, protection from law, shield, true strike, 2nd- bear's endurance, bull's strength, cat's grace, detect thoughts, mirror image, see invisibility, touch of idiocy, 3rd- arcane sight, blink, clairaudience/clairvoyance, dispel magic, haste, protection from energy, slow, stinking cloud, suggestion, 4th- arcane eye, black tentacles, confusion, greater invisibility, locate creature, scrying, 5th- arcane prediction, cloudkill, contact other plane, hold monster, nightmare, prying eyes, telekinesis, telepathic bond
=====Special Abilities=====
Arcane Bond (Su): As a wizard, Count Falconbridge has forged a bond with his ring of counterspells. If he attempts to cast a spell when not wearing it, he must make a Spellcraft check of DC 20 + the spell's level or lose the spell. The ring can be used once per day to cast any one spell that the Count knows and can cast, just as if he had cast it. Count Falconbridge can enchant his ring of counterspells as if he had the required feats. The ring only functions for the Count and if it is damaged, it is restored to full hit points the next time Count Falconbridge prepares his spells. If it is lost or destroyed, it can be replaced after 1 week's time in a special ritual that costs 1,600gp and takes 8 hours to complete.
Armor Training (Ex): Whenever Count Falconbridge is wearing armor, he gains an additional +1 armor bonus, reduces the armor check penalty by 1 (to a minimum of 0) and increases the maximum Dexterity bonus allowed by his armor by 1.
Cantrips (Sp): The Count can prepare four 0-level spells each day. He can cast these spells at will as a spell-like ability. These are treated like any other spell cast by the Count in terms of durations and other variables based on level.
Diverse Training: Count Falconbridge adds his eldritch knight levels to his levels of fighter and wizard for the purposes of meeting prerequisites for feats.
Diviner's Fortune (Su): Touching a creature as a standard action, Count Falconbridge can give it a +10 enhancement bonus to a single attack roll, skill check, ability check, or saving throw. This bonus lasts 3 rounds or until used. Once a creature has benefited from this ability it cannot do so again for 1 day.
Scrying Adept (Su): Count Falconbridge is always aware when he is being observed via magic, as if he had a permanent detect scrying. In addition, whenever he scrys on a subject, he treats the subject as one step more familiar. Very familiar subjects get a -10 penalty on their save to avoid his scrying attempts.
Specialist Bonus: The Count can always act in the surprise round but is still considered flat- footed until he takes an action.
PART THREE: NEW SPELL
School Divination; Level: Wizard 5
===== Casting =====
Casting Time: 15 minutes (see text)
Components: V, S, M
===== Effec t=====
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: Instantaneous
===== Description =====
You petition entities that exist on the Outer Planes to aid you in your choice of useful spells. They respond by placing you into a prophetic trance in which strange visions of the future flash through your mind. When you awake, you cannot recall what you witnessed but some of your available spell slots are mysteriously prepared. Up to four spell levels worth of spells become "predicted spells" (a cantrip counts as 1/2 level for this purpose). These spells are prepared as normal except that you do not know what the spells are until they are needed. At any point, as a free action, you may choose a predicted spell to be any spell contained in you spellbook of the corresponding level. Once you have done so, it cannot be changed and the spell has all the same requirements to cast it as if you had prepared it normally (casting time, material components and the like).
You must have empty spell slots in which to prepare the predicted spells. The casting time of arcane prediction is considered part of the time that it takes you to prepare your spells. You may not have more than four spell levels worth of predicted spells prepared at any time.
Material Component: 3 dried tea leaves that have been pressed by a spellbook.
Kobold Press
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Hm, a fighter/diviner makes a lot of sense given the villain's concept, and it's all done in 2300 words? Seems promising.
Digging into it a bit, there were elements that make a developer's life harder (such as "See Skills section" in Senses, or the lack of the word "wand" in the Ranged section). There's little elements like the missing space before "hp" or the spelling errors like "mithril" (should be "mithral") and "modifer". Nothing major, but somewhat annoying.
The real meat for this villain is the Arcane Prediction spell. And I'm on the fence about it at the moment. It works nicely with the villain concept, mechanically you're trading a 5th level slot for a 4th level or some other lower-level combination, so it's not hugely overpowered.... But it is *definitely* stepping on the toes of spontaneous casters.
Recommendation: Good, but not great. Might recommend it more highly once I review the remaining entries.
Director of Games
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So, I really like the backstory here as one that makes for a sinister diviner, which is no simple task to pull off. I do wish that it would be revealed to us what the dark force is that is giving the count his visions, but I think it is ok that this is left for the GM to decide. The hooks are interesting and provide a nice way for the PCs to come into direct conflict with the count.
On to the stat block. The first thing I noticed is that the hit points appear to be wrong. I am not sure how he is getting +45 hit points, and even with them, it does not add up to 120. This problem is repeated below, under base stats, but at least his bonus is correct there (+15). Attacks and spells appear to be correct, but I am kinda surprised that he does not have at least one augury prepared. His diviner school appears to be applied correctly. He appears to be about 26 ranks short in the skill department, which is troubling, but the feats appear correct. So, other than some simple accounting errors, I am not seeing anything too egregious in the stat block.
The new rules item is really pretty awesome. This is exactly the sort of spell that can make divination cool. It is balanced for its level and is a good fit with the character.
If I were developing this villain for an adventure, I would need to spend some time checking math and fixing skills, but otherwise, he is well put together.
My Grade (on a 1-10 scale) is a 7.
Jason Bulmahn
Lead Designer
Paizo Publishing
Alright. I was the lone holdout against this villain. I liked some aspects, but I didnt think it really hooked me. Man, those clairvoyant assassins are cool though. Now, though I had reservations the voters did not. And as a result, I wont hold any of my prior thoughts against your current incarnation. I am a man of the people after all!
So, you got a second chance to fine tune, flesh out and improve. Let's see how you did....
First off, I hate the spoiler thing. Please dont do that anymore. I dont mind, say, a stat block OR the new rule thing in a spoiler as if it was a sidebar or text box. But the WHOLE THING? In three spoilers? Not working for me. That was a poor formatting choice.
Now that I've gotten that off my chest. Let's open them up and check them out...
I'm going to go backward in my comments. I start with the new spell. You picked a divination villain, and that is a bit difficult. So big props for creating a new spell. I was hopeing that is what you would do. I mean, this guy doesnt need a new item or a new feat. He is a divination villain. He needs a cool new spell. And you delivered. And on top of that it is a really cool spell. Good work. You saw what your villain needed and you executed it just right.
Going to your character concept, I see you basically gave it an editorial pass. While I think your small modifications are all for the better, I think you failed to hone this villain as much as you could have. I think you played this a bit safe with just a minor editorial pass. I was sure you were going to play up the clairvoyant assassin angle, as that got you the best feedback. You didnt. Not even expansion in their adventure hook.
Oh! Fighter, diviner, eldritch knight. Now that is nice work. I thought your stat block was well-executed. I noticed some math issues. I see my fellow judges covered that, more in depth than I could. But I look at the stat block from a gameplay/printed page angle and it seems well done to me.
I'll admit, you played it a bit safe and failed to play up your strengths. But your stat block is workmanlike and servicable and your new spell I think is something special. You could have improved more. We'll have to see if playing it safe let your competitors distance themselves from you. But for now, I have to say I recommend advancement. I may change this after I have read the remaining ones, like Wolf.
Edit: I've read all the others. I still recommend advancement, but not very strongly. I think your new rules bit is what makes me lean towards recommending advancement. But not by much.
Stat Block:
In the spells prepared section, your separators between the spell level and the actual spells are - rather than -- ... it's a nitpick, but the correct format was provided to you and you didn't use it. As a developer, that means I have to fix something that you changed from correct formatting to incorrect formatting.
Your math for his BAB adds up to +10 but you have him listed as +11.
Rule Element:
Ok, this is actually pretty novel, I actually thought we had something like it in the game but we don't, so kudos for that. It does step on spontaneous casters, but it's costly (in terms of spell levels gained for the spell level used) and limited, so I think that's ok.
One caveat, there's a typo: "you may choose a predicted spell to be any spell contained in you spellbook of the corresponding level...."
By Round 3, I expect more attention to little details like this.
Rec: advance, but I don't feel particularly aggressive about this. Step up!
I just want to thank the judges for their comments. I appreciate your words and your math skills.
Since I can't respond in detail yet, I'll just have to bite my tongue and wait for when I can explain a little.
So, until then, all I can do is promise everyone your concerns are being addressed and thank you for your feedback
Remember, only the Count can see what is coming next. I have to bite my nails and wait like everyone else!
A vote for the Count is a vote for the future!
I'll look in greater depth in a bit.
I like the spell. It provides a mechanical justification for what Unearthed Arcana says DMs should do with casters anyway to model their high INT or WIS casters: keep a few spell slots open and don't tell the players.
But I dislike some of the tactical choices this guy makes. True strike doesn't really help him, allowing him to do just 1d8+7 damage (no power attack option synergy) or fire an acid arrow (4d4). Magic Missile does 5d4+5 damage. And quickened acid splash?! Leave that slot open for your unique divination spell, not three low level ones.
I liked this guy OK in the previous round but wanted him to be a little less vanilla. Best as I can tell he didn't change a word of his fluff, a shame - it was decent but certainly not perfect. His stats are OK if not amazing. The new spell, arcane prediction, is like a magic turn-your-mage-into-a-sorcerer pill and is real cool. 6/10.
I still like Count Falconbridge, and I like the new spell... but quickened acid splash? Really?
Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4, Legendary Games
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I like him, and I think I like him a little bit better than I did the previous round. A few of the spell choices are... interesting (namely the above-mentioned quickened acid splash - WTF?), but in general this seems like a useful and interesting villain. The backstory is fine. I'm not tabulating skill points and such, so I'll just say that if people who ARE tell you that you gotta tighten up your math, then listen.
The spell is neat, though I thought "15 minutes" was an odd casting time choice - I think the SRD standards are a minute, 10 minutes, or an hour for long spells.
Overall, I'd give it a solid, workmanlike pretty good, but I don't think it cracks my top couple for a vote.
Liked him a lot the last round and really enjoy the new special ability/spell. To be honest I could care less about the math and whether it's correct. This has promise and I like it. As an artist ( man that sounds pompous...) I think of these guys visually when I read them and I have a great sense of imagery from the Count. Definitely recommended and has my vote. Good luck!
I liked this guy the last round, but was surprised you didn't opt for a tightening or redo in some way of the original, given the commentary from the voters and judges ...
I'm going to be taking my book to work to read hard on design stuff, because I think my brain is on old rules ... his CR is listed at 13, yet he is a 4+8+3 ... I get 15? Also on hit points 4d10 (22) + 8d6 (52) + 3d10 (16.5) + 45 (not sure where that number came from yet) ... I can't get this to add to the 120 listed at all. Then in the stats, his Int is a 20 ... yet from what I can see it started at the 15, and he gained +3 from his level bonuses, I only get 18.
Going to have to think more on this, and come back to it after work and a review on some of the rules.
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I'm going to be taking my book to work to read hard on design stuff, because I think my brain is on old rules ... his CR is listed at 13, yet he is a 4+8+3 ... I get 15? Also on hit points 4d10 (22) + 8d6 (52) + 3d10 (16.5) + 45 (not sure where that number came from yet) ... I can't get this to add to the 120 listed at all. Then in the stats, his Int is a 20 ... yet from what I can see it started at the 15, and he gained +3 from his level bonuses, I only get 18.Going to have to think more on this, and come back to it after work and a review on some of the rules.
Pretty sure that's -2 CR for him being an NPC with class levels, and +2 Int from his Headband of Vast Intellect. The hit points...I *think* there may be some sort of favoured class bonus in there, but I'm hazy on that area.
This round I focused on the new rules as I'm not all that great with a stat block.
Unlike most other entries, your new spell is usable not only for your villain, but is one I would use for my own wizard character and I like that a lot! Plus, it works really well thematically for the Count (and you've chosen nice spells for that in his spell book).
Nice to see your growth from an over-powered mongoose claw to a well-balanced arcane prediction, too.
The count gets my vote this round.
Pretty sure that's -2 CR for him being an NPC with class levels, and +2 Int from his Headband of Vast Intellect. The hit points...I *think* there may be some sort of favoured class bonus in there, but I'm hazy on that area.
I'm going to be taking my book to work to read hard on design stuff, because I think my brain is on old rules ... his CR is listed at 13, yet he is a 4+8+3 ... I get 15? Also on hit points 4d10 (22) + 8d6 (52) + 3d10 (16.5) + 45 (not sure where that number came from yet) ... I can't get this to add to the 120 listed at all. Then in the stats, his Int is a 20 ... yet from what I can see it started at the 15, and he gained +3 from his level bonuses, I only get 18.Going to have to think more on this, and come back to it after work and a review on some of the rules.
Yup, found the CR rule that was throwing me (I still need to wrap my head around the associated level fun -- thank all the gods for Jason and his knowledge of this stuff <G>).
For the hit points, I was forgetting the Max Points at first level business ... and am going to dive back in now for a recheck on the other things that were bugging me :)
Okay, take two on the Count, now that I've polished up my rules-fu a bit.
I think the problem that this one, and others have had, is not showing enough of the math. Things are left out of the additions as if "we should know them" and if we don't, the numbers come out wrong.
HPs - I can get up to 110 not counting the favored class stuff, since I'm not sure which option was taken on the favored class (10 + 16.5 + 52 + 16.5 + 15). So something is wrong here, and that +45 is definitely a typo.
Skills - I give ::chuckle:: With three classes to check, I'll leave this one to Jason's eyes, though I count 79 spent ranks ... again, telling me which classes gave what in the math would have been nice.
INT - again, show the math, you didn't add in the +2 from the Magic Item here, and I had to go digging for it, which the triple spoiler thing made more of a pain to do (I echo Clark, don't do it this way please)
New Spell - this I like :) While I can see the worry that it might be treading on the toes of the spontaneous caster, it is limited in that you only get four spell levels from it, need to figure out how you're breaking that down, and it eats a fifth level spell for this benefit. I feel that balances out in the long run (yes, I play a sorceress).
I still like the count, but felt that the stat block could have been stronger on the presentation.
I really like that new spell. I might have to introduce it in a game I'm DMing.
What is the feat Omniscient Whispers?
I really like that new spell. I might have to introduce it in a game I'm DMing.
What is the feat Omniscient Whispers?
Omniscient Whispers from the SRD, a Spelltouched Feat.
Omniscient Whispers [Spelltouched]
A constant, barely audible muttering echoes in your ears, usually beyond your comprehension. But if you focus all your energy on listening, you sometimes catch a sentence or two that bears directly on your current situation.
Prerequisite
Exposure to commune or contact other plane spell.
Benefit
Once per week, you can tune into the voices you hear, getting the answer to a question much as if you had asked it with a commune spell.
Using this feat renders you exhausted.
Was there really a need to put everything underspoiler tags? :(
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Okay, take two on the Count, now that I've polished up my rules-fu a bit.
I think the problem that this one, and others have had, is not showing enough of the math. Things are left out of the additions as if "we should know them" and if we don't, the numbers come out wrong.
HPs - I can get up to 110 not counting the favored class stuff, since I'm not sure which option was taken on the favored class (10 + 16.5 + 52 + 16.5 + 15). So something is wrong here, and that +45 is definitely a typo.
The base stats have the number being added to his hp as +15, which makes me suspect that the +45 in his buffed stats is due to an application of bear's endurance, which would add the necessary 30 hit points. Unfortunately, while that spell is listed in his spellbook, it's not listed in his memorized spells, and his tactics don't having him casting it.
Minor stat quibble. If this is true: "With each new prophecy the Count is compelled to increasingly sinister action in order to escape his destiny. To gain absolute fealty, the Count has deceived his subjects. Claiming his visions predict a great catastrophe, they believe only he can save them and accept his edicts out of fear"
Then he should have his bluff skill maxxed out with 15 ranks. That's skill's mission-critical for him, especially since he'll be bucking some increasingly severe DC bonuses to his lies.
I have to say, I absolutely hated this entry last round, but here it is, contending for my last vote. Good job.
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RPG Superstar 2013
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka Steven T. Helt
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Congratulations on Superstar '09 Top 16!
Growth
I was lukewarm on Count Falconbridge before. I buy into him a little more readily with your changes, but I am still not wowed. If you could get me to think like him for just a minute, instead of telling me he's afraid to die, he has the authority to commit acts of atrocity, etc, I would be more sold if we were inside his head, and if I felt I could roleplay him as something other than fearful and fanatical.
My example: Falconbridge walks a thin line between despotic egotism and paranoid delusion. The more power he siezes for his own sake, the more tightly he holds on, and the more he sees the possibility of losing everything. His visions come daily now, with glimpses of his own death interrupting both his public and private life. To thwart these constant reminders of his mortality, he proclaims certain kinds of magic or certain types of adventurers to be a public threat, using his reputation and charisma to envelop the masses with his own sense of impending doom. He uses magic to discern friend from potential foe, and has coincidentally filled his administration with only the most loyal and sycophantic of his advicors, arranging to bansih or imprison the rest. While his people obey him, pockets of resistance have begun to develop in response to his treatment of outsiders, and the resulting economic hardship that results from constant cargo inspections and property siezures. Due to his skillful manipulations, his supporters cite these protesters as proof of the plots against his realm, and the populace continues to cooperate out of a collective, and carefully orchestrated, sense of fear.
I would also have loved to see more versatile plot hooks. Maybe Falconbridge fakes an assassination attempt, in an effort to watch the responses of those around him. The PCs are pressed by a noble into looking for the assailants just so it can look like his house is doing something about it. In the end, the assassins are caught planning an attempt on the lives of those the public feels are loyal to Falconbridge, but that he recently suspects, all to rid himself of another threat while perpetuating sympathy for his own cause.
Mechanics
-Wow. Everyone wants to buff their villain and make those decisions for me. To me, it's better to just list that he can cast haste and let me worry about adding to his speed or whatnot when he does cast it. Lots of stat blocks get changed to fit a particular campaign, anyway. You give me the build, and I'll worry about the details, some of which I am going to tailor to my specific players.
-Not only do you provide math for your stat blocks, you provide math to let us know how you got that math. Experiencing a little of your villain's paranoia?
-Hit points are wrong. With favored class and a +1 Con bonus, I think you're still 15 over.
-I would prefer you give me base saves, not levels of classes that contribute to base saves.
-Assuming you used the elite array, and started with a 15 Int, I think you missed out on 12 skill ranks - the amount you would have gained raising your Int from 15 to 16 at 4th level. 91 total ranks, yes?
-What are Falconbridge's banned schools? I don't see them.
-Did this guy really memorize a quickened acid splash? I thought he was Int 20...
-Overall, not a bad stat block, although nothing really excites me.
New Hotness
Arcane prediction is a weak name, and I think the source of the prediction should be truly arcane if you're going to keep it. There are already spells that require answers from 'outside entities', why not something that just relies on you and your magic tea leaves? Having gotten past that, this is one of the better 'metaspell' spell concepts I have seen. It has a lot of power creep to it, including folks who want higher level versions that quicken the predicted spells so they're in place when you need them, or to predict higher level spells. But it's fun, and it gives the diviner just a little bit more. I think diviners are pretty powerful, but not everyone agrees, so this gives them some sweet crucnh. The spell is also comepletely appropriate for your villain.
Overall
Falconbridge is the best reconstruction of a Rd 2 concept I didn't go for. At this point, anyway. The glimpse inside your villain should be stronger, and there are no real mechanical goodies other than 'know-it-all-with-a-longsword", but he passes the test better than I thought he would. The real gem is a spell I can introduce into my game whether I take or leave the villain.
And with a clever and/or sadistic DM, this would be a fun spell for players. Maybe it should be level 6.
The spell is neat, though I thought "15 minutes" was an odd casting time choice - I think the SRD standards are a minute, 10 minutes, or an hour for long spells.
I thought the casting time was cool. Isn't 15 minutes the time required for preparing one spell?
-Miss Moon
RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16
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Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka JoelF847
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I liked the count last round and voted for him, so I was excited to see the round 3 version of him. His description didn't change a lot. This isn't bad, since I liked it last round, but it could have been upgraded, especially with some information on the source of his visions. I also would have liked some more details on some of the horrible edicts and laws he passes. If you're a diviner and he banishes you, yeah that sucks, but the average citizen probably wouldn't care much. I'd want to read about him imprisoning all left handed people, cutting off the hands of all butchers, and stuff like that.
The stat block was pretty good, despite some small errors discussed. I'm thinking that the hp could be explained by one of the starting bonus hp options, but without calling that out, I can't tell. I also was surprized that his 2nd best ability score was charisma. He's got enough skill points and took the persuesive feat, so he didn't really need the extra +1 there, but it would have help his melee threat. Also, in the spells listing, I'd have preferred the standard way to show a spell already cast - list it, but asterisk it with the note that it was previously cast. The same footnote could apply to the pre-statted buffs of haste, bull's strength, and cat's grace. Speaking of the buff spells, his ability scores don't reflect the buffs, and the base stats should contain the original values. I also think that for a villain of his level, a defensive spell would have really helped him - displacement or fly maybe.
The new spell is the real gem of this round's entry for the count. It not only fits his story perfectly, it's a cool spell for both the villain or a PC, and gives him some good options no matter what the tactics of the PCs are. I also like that it's a level higher than mnemnotic enhancer, which I always thought was a bit weak, but by letting you pick the spells on the fly essentially, it is certainly worth it.
I'm not sure if the count will keep my vote this round or not. Still quite a lot of entries to read, and while the count didn't lose ground, I've already seen at least one contestant up their game a lot.
thanks for a good villan. you are the only person to get my vote in both rounds now. I like the new spell. keep up the good job. p.s. I do wish you would have told us a little more about the source of the visions and or some of his crazy laws.
-Wow. Everyone wants to buff their villain and make those decisions for me. To me, it's better to just list that he can cast haste and let me worry about adding to his speed or whatnot when he does cast it. Lots of stat blocks get changed to fit a particular campaign, anyway. You give me the build, and I'll worry about the details, some of which I am going to tailor to my specific players.
The reason is that Paizo's been doing their last adventure path with the prep spells pre-embedded in the stat block; evidently there's been an editorial change. So I don't fault the Superstars for doing it like this one does.
I personally agree that I preferred it like in Runelords, where you get the base and then you make the decisions on adding the spells. I don't like having to strip out stuff on the fly when the party surprises the villain.
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The reason is that Paizo's been doing their last adventure path with the prep spells pre-embedded in the stat block; evidently there's been an editorial change. So I don't fault the Superstars for doing it like this one does.
I personally agree that I preferred it like in Runelords, where you get the base and then you make the decisions on adding the spells. I don't like having to strip out stuff on the fly when the party surprises the villain.
They did that in Runelords, too. At least as early as Xanesha; I don't remember if Nualia or Erylium had any embedded buffs.
The new spell favourably reminds me of an ability of half-vistani of one particulary family in 2nd Edition AD&D Ravenloft games; however despite that, the stat block errors are sufficient to deposit the Count in the pile of villains who are waiting for my Round 3 votes to be assigned to 'priority' villains first and it is unlikely at this stage in my read through that I will have any votes left for those villains, after dealing with prioritised ones.
This is where I am.
I like this villain. But the stat-block errors (and spoiler tag abuse) make me assign him a lower priority for my precious four votes. :(
While I like the Count in general, it's not entirely clear to me what he actually wants to accomplish in the long term. What does "unravel fate" mean, specifically? Does he want such great mastery of divination that he will be able to predict anything "fate" throws after him? Or is he on a sort of Nietzschean quest to actually literally destroy fate, by magical means? What are we working with here?
Even then, I like both the new spell and the overall concept - in fact, I think it's quite an accomplishment to make a credible diviner villain in the first place. Not the most flashy enemy, perhaps, but more subtle and scary in his own way. The whole "magical prediction plus actual powers of legislation" combination could get very interesting as well. There's strong competition, but he'll probably get one of my votes.
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 6
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Dedicated Voter Season 6
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I played a fighter/diviner in Living Greyhawk for years, so I'm favorably inclined right out the gate. Quickened acid splash, though? And no quickened true strike? Both seem somewhat odd choices to me.
I really like his background, and appreciate that the visions were cleared up a bit (he's being manipulated, not just insane). I approve of the villains-behind-villains design, and I don't think we need to know more about the next guy in line - he's not the focus right now.
The new rules item is decent, but I fear it gives the character something of an uber-sorcerer feel. I'd rather it be a swift action spell keyed off of open slots - somewhat the same effect, but a bit higher opportunity cost.
This guy's right at the edge of getting a vote - if only I had 5! I really hope he makes it to the next round.
Congrats on moving up. Can't wait to see what's next.
Thank you everyone for your praise, feedback, and critiques. I figure some behind-the-scenes explanation on what you saw here is in order.
First:
First off, I hate the spoiler thing. Please dont do that anymore.
Oops! Duly noted and it won't happen again.
The next one comes in two parts:
The first thing I noticed is that the hit points appear to be wrong. I am not sure how he is getting +45 hit points, and even with them, it does not add up to 120. This problem is repeated below, under base stats, but at least his bonus is correct there (+15).
The base stats have the number being added to his hp as +15, which makes me suspect that the +45 in his buffed stats is due to an application of bear's endurance, which would add the necessary 30 hit points. Unfortunately, while that spell is listed in his spellbook, it's not listed in his memorized spells, and his tactics don't having him casting it.
Here is what happened: I had originally put down the proper amount of hit points but, when I went over the Round 3 rules again - I saw that hit points were excluded from the "show your math" rule for the sake of ease. Don't ask me how, but from that I got the impression that we could roll our villain's hit points. So I did!
The second part is exactly as Ninjaiguana guessed: There is a potion of bear's endurance in there. My first draft had him casting both bear's endurance and bull's strength. When I realized I didn't have enough spells to actually do that, I flip-flopped on which to keep - finally decided on the strength boost and removed all traces of the other. Later, it dawned on me that he could just drink a potion as well, so I raced back, put the stat adjustments back in and totally forgot to include it in his tactics and gear. I guess I just figured you would all... read my mind? Sheesh, it was a silly error - his hit points should be 116 with the boost and 86 without.
but I am kinda surprised that he does not have at least one augury prepared.
I only see it as a cleric spell. Is there something I missed in.. the SRD?
He appears to be about 26 ranks short in the skill department, which is troubling, but the feats appear correct. So, other than some simple accounting errors, I am not seeing anything too egregious in the stat block.
Your totally right about missing skill points but what's funny is that when I re-calculated, I found him to be 16 short. I'd love for someone to point out the other 10 (I think I forgot to add his bonus skill points for being a human.. and maybe a few favoured class as well..)
but quickened acid splash? Really?
Heh, tell me about it. It wasn't there originally but when I looked at my first draft of spells, I saw that I had given the Count two metamagic feats and didn't use either. Quicken Spell seemed stronger so I tried to shoe-horn it in there. In my revised draft I have a silent dispel magic instead (in case someone tries the ole' silence the evil wizard trick.
The spell is neat, though I thought "15 minutes" was an odd casting time choice - I think the SRD standards are a minute, 10 minutes, or an hour for long spells.
Miss Moon is correct; the idea here is that you cast this spell while you prepare spells so I gave it a casting time equal to the minimum amount of time memorizing spells takes.
INT - again, show the math, you didn't add in the +2 from the Magic Item here, and I had to go digging for it
Too true. This one was all human error - sorry.
Then he should have his bluff skill maxxed out with 15 ranks. That's skill's mission-critical for him, especially since he'll be bucking some increasingly severe DC bonuses to his lies.
Absolutely! In fact, since my skill points were off and he's way short, Bluff would be the first skill to beef up.
The Count has one 5th level spell not prepared (he has an option for 3, and even after the casting of an arcane predictions has been factored in, that still leaves one slot unaccounted for) and the Count has four too many first level spells prepared.
You are right. This one is another human error... my apologies. I would use this spell slot for a quickened true strike, a cloudkill, or maybe prying eyes as a means to get ready for the PCs as they invade his home.
As for the new spell, I am very glad people enjoyed it. I was really worried that I would pull off another mongoose claw without realizing it.
Also, I'm so glad I could turn around some original "dislikers", and I'm so grateful for those who pushed me on - I am very keen on this new round.
As for his visions and his assassins, those could easily be lair related so I won't say anything right now on the remote chance some picks the Count for their Round 4. I'll come back after the submission deadline and talk about what I had planned then (assuming that's allowed of course).
Thanks once more to everyone... this has been a great experience for me. I hope to be around in the future.