Bracht Darkhouse, The Flesh Peddler

[Aphreal]

For some reason, this entry just doesn't capture my imagination the way it seems to for many other people. I suspect it's because I spent several months playing an RPG called Rippers. It's a Victorian setting with a kind of League of Extaordinary Gentlemen feel to it, and the main novel mechanic is "ripping", taking part of monsters and grafting them onto people to give them some of that monster's power and possibly drive them crazy. So Bracht's fleshgrafting felt very stale and unoriginal to me.

Rippers is a pretty obscure game, and I suspect very few other people here have heard of it (anyone?), so I doubt Trevor was influenced by it at all. It just makes it hard for me to appreciate the new mechanic when I've seen a better fleshed-out (pun unintended) version of it before.

[Trevor Gulliver]

Aphreal wrote:

For some reason, this entry just doesn't capture my imagination the way it seems to for many other people. I suspect it's because I spent several months playing an RPG called Rippers. It's a Victorian setting with a kind of League of Extaordinary Gentlemen feel to it, and the main novel mechanic is "ripping", taking part of monsters and grafting them onto people to give them some of that monster's power and possibly drive them crazy. So Bracht's fleshgrafting felt very stale and unoriginal to me.

Rippers is a pretty obscure game, and I suspect very few other people here have heard of it (anyone?), so I doubt Trevor was influenced by it at all. It just makes it hard for me to appreciate the new mechanic when I've seen a better fleshed-out (pun unintended) version of it before.

Thanks for the feedback, Aphreal.

[Charles Evans 25]

With regard to any perceived underspend on Bracht's gear, I imagine that flesh-warping laboratories (where Bracht is most likely to be encountered I suspect) don't come cheap.

[Trevor Gulliver]

Charles Evans 25 wrote:

With regard to any perceived underspend on Bracht's gear, I imagine that flesh-warping laboratories (where Bracht is most likely to be encountered I suspect) don't come cheap.

Bracht would like to respond but will wait until after the voting period is finished.

[Charles Evans 25]

Tactics Review:
Oh dear. Minions are mentioned, but no specifics of the aforementioned minions are given. That they are 'bizarre' creations and are probably constructs can be surmised, but without their having been detailed or even vaguely inked in, I am left with an impression that Bracht currently knows more than Trevor about what they and their capabilities are.
The first significant weak-point to this entry.

Edit:
A further quibble; no indication is given of what gp value/HD worth of material components for animate dead is available.
More importantly, no indication is made of how Bracht tries to deal with missile attacks (including wizards or divine casters who engage in ranged damage dealing spells). It is possible, I suppose, that the lair is sufficiently cluttered (or filled with swirling vapours steaming off of vats to block line of sight from any distance.

As an aside, I take the 'third eye' mentioned in the stat block to be equivalent to the item detailed in Pathfinder #9 (Page 43).

Further Edit:
For those interested in fleshcrafting poisons, details are in the back of Pathfinder #16, (Pages 61-63).

[Trevor Gulliver]

Charles Evans 25 wrote:

Tactics Review:

Oh dear. Minions are mentioned, but no specifics of the aforementioned minions are given. That they are 'bizarre' creations and are probably constructs can be surmised, but without their having been detailed or even vaguely inked in, I am left with an impression that Bracht currently knows more than Trevor about what they and their capabilities are.
The first significant weak-point to this entry.

Trevor would like to respond but will wait until after the voting period is finished.

[Charles Evans 25]

At the moment Bracht, Gulga, Sartel, and Jeroim are in a four way fight for my two remaining Round 3 votes, so tactical reviews are called for.

[Charles Evans 25]

Bracht Darkhouse wrote:

Charles Evans 25 wrote:

Tactics Review:

Oh dear. Minions are mentioned, but no specifics of the aforementioned minions are given. That they are 'bizarre' creations and are probably constructs can be surmised, but without their having been detailed or even vaguely inked in, I am left with an impression that Bracht currently knows more than Trevor about what they and their capabilities are.
The first significant weak-point to this entry.

Trevor would like to respond but will wait until after the voting period is finished.

When you're responding after voting is over you might like to explain too if the Daughters of Blinding Night are after you for stealing their secrets, or if you legitimately traded for information on third eyes.... :)

[Steven Helt]

Congratulations on Superstar '09 Top 16!

Growth
I'm hoping for a big surprise here. I didn't see what a lot of other people saw, and I couldn't give you a vote last round. The only comment I've read so far is Clark's, and he says you've responded to feedback by losing the NPC class levels, but I don't feel that way. It doesn't look to me as if you changed your prose much at all, and I didn't buy Bracht from the beginning. Maybe your stat block will rise to the occasion.

I see Ancient Osiriani as a language, and I don't feel like you made much of a connection. The only Golarion reference I see is Katapesh. Is there something about ancient Osirion that would help drive his goals or supplement his research?

At the very least, you could have replaced your "goes without saying" group of hooks with more original adventure seeds.

Mechanics
-We've all learned a lot about subtle changes in the game. Bracht's CR is 9.
-Aberrant bloodline should be listed with his sorcerer level at the top. It's certainly not a Special Quality.
-Acidic ray is not listed as an attack option. Should be +6 ranged touch (1d6+5)
-Whatever else flashcrafting poison of chitinous skin is, it's a pretty bad name. And aside from guessing a +3 natural armor bonus (not as good as a potion of barkskin, then), you've told me nothing about it. Imagine your tactics section said "If combat is inevitable, Bracht blows his horn of stirges and retreats." We don't know what's going on and can't prepare the combat.
-Same thing with your third eye. Not only do we not know what it does, but it risks being assumed as one of the nonSRD items from MIC.
-Not impressed with the generic description of 'his creations' or 'his minions'. If you want to evoke images of a fantastic combat and creepy underlings, you've got to try harder, which might boil down as the essential flaw of your entry.
-This is a line from your Statistics section: Base Atk +5; CMB +4 [BAB+6, str+1]
-EDIT I see the comment on proficiency with scythe, and I have to remind the human race gets one martial wpn proficiency.

New Hotness
-I think a lot of people wanted to see the Peddler's ability to move magical abilities from one place to another, but I don't think this is tight design. Consider:
-The bookkeeping of different grafts. Plus, how can a donor cast a spell but not have a caster level. Also, CL should definitely default to HD and not CR.
-What does this sentence mean: Fleshgrafts cannot be enhanced with spells higher than third level. A fleshgraft can't bestow a higher level spell than 3? Can it be modified by metamagic if the donor had such a feat?
-Does spell include spell-like ability? Seems a necessary inclusion, but it should be stated. And of course, the statement should be made that any such ability can only be used OPD and is activated as a SLA.
-Does the item have to be harvested just ebfore transplant, or can it be taken from a dead donor? How long does the magic from an organ survuve? Can it be preserved?
-Cost should be at least [spell level*caster level*800], which is double (no item slot) the formula for an item with one use per day, but no charges. As open-ended as the ability is, I would think the grafts would be more expensive.
-The bite attack is poorly conceived. Does it do the same damage as the donor? Are there size considerations? How many can you have? Does that come in addition to the SLA if the donor had both?
-If I thought about it more, I would likely come up with more things I think have to be answered before the feat could be published. As it is, I think it's the poorest design of the round.

Overall
Bracht is a character with no real depth, and without the ability to support the fluff that others were so attracted to. His new rules element is the weakest of round 3. If I were to run him, I'd do everything differently, and therefore I have to assume I'd feel the same about an entire adventure written by you.

[Steven Helt]

Charles Evans 25 wrote:

As an aside, I take the 'third eye' mentioned in the stat block to be equivalent to the item detailed in Pathfinder #9 (Page 43).

Further Edit:
For those interested in fleshcrafting poisons, details are in the back of Pathfinder #16, (Pages 61-63).

It's good for you to point those out, Charles, but I submit that if someone has to look it up, a reference should have been provided by the entrant.

I failed to mention before, I applaud that you made it this far into the contest, and that your son entered. Good show.

[Charles Evans 25]

Steven:
You might want to edit your post to indicate which bit you're addressing to me, and which you're addressing to Tarren. ;)

[Trevor Gulliver]

Thanks Steven for your feedback. I look forward to responding after voting is closed.

[roguerouge]

I agree with Steven's suggestion of a citation when it's something from an adventure path. There's no word count limit on the stat block, so you might as well throw that in there. Also, another applicant did that.

[Steven Helt]

Tarren Dei wrote:

Thanks Steven for your feedback. I look forward to responding after voting is closed.

I reiterate that this is a review of your entry and not of you. You seem a decent guy who knows the game well. If you advance, I expect growth, wowness and more. : }

[Fern Herold]

Steven T. Helt wrote:

-Whatever else flashcrafting poison of chitinous skin is, it's a pretty bad name. And aside from guessing a +3 natural armor bonus (not as good as a potion of barkskin, then), you've told me nothing about it. Imagine your tactics section said "If combat is inevitable, Bracht blows his horn of stirges and retreats." We don't know what's going on and can't prepare the combat.
-Same thing with your third eye. Not only do we not know what it does, but it risks being assumed as one of the nonSRD items from MIC.

This is because he's using items from Pathfinder issues. The fleshcrafting poisons are in Pathfinder #16, and the third eye is in Pathfinder #9. He's drawn from the allowable resource pool, and I don't see any reason to knock the statblock for that (perhaps, however, the magic items should have been given a parenthetical source, so we know he's not just pulling them from thin air).

[Trevor Gulliver]

Steven T. Helt wrote:

Tarren Dei wrote:

Thanks Steven for your feedback. I look forward to responding after voting is closed.

I reiterate that this is a review of your entry and not of you. You seem a decent guy who knows the game well. If you advance, I expect growth, wowness and more. : }

;-) Understood.

[Jason Rice]

I was looking forward to your post more than any other. Specifically because I wanted to see how you pulled off your proposed abilities. I think you got lucky in that Paizo allowed a new rules element. You would have been hard pressed to do what you proposed without it. So, lets see how you did...

...You called it Craft Arcane Fleshgraft and Craft Arcane Flesh. Two names?

...The name implies that only arcane spells can be grafted, but the feat's rules don't have any restriction. Are divine spells allowed?

...If limited to Arcane, did you intend for only sorcerer's to be targets? Your background implies that, but the feat doesn't say that.

...What is the deciding factor that determines which organ holds which spell?

...What happens to a dead donor that is the subject of a Raise Dead or Resurection? Does he permanently lose his spell? Note: Raise Dead doesn't restore missing body parts.

...Does "cast it without materials" mean "material components", "focuses", or both.

...you allowed bite attacks if you grafted a mouth and the donor had that attack. I think that opens a door better left closed. If that's allowed, why not gaze attacks if you graft an eye?

Or, alternately, get rid of the ability to graft spells and only allow special abilities/attacks to be grafted. I think I like that better. If you want a claw attack, look for a creature that has one and "borrow" his hands. Want better hearing? A few extra ears should do the trick.

I voted for you last round, despite my worries about if you cold pull this off. I'm not sure I'm going to vote for you this round.

[Trevor Gulliver]

Jason Rice wrote:

I was looking forward to your post more than any other. Specifically because I wanted to see how you pulled off your proposed abilities. I think you got lucky in that Paizo allowed a new rules element. You would have been hard pressed to do what you proposed without it. So, lets see how you did...

...You called it Craft Arcane Fleshgraft and Craft Arcane Flesh. Two names?

...The name implies that only arcane spells can be grafted, but the feat's rules don't have any restriction. Are divine spells allowed?

...If limited to Arcane, did you intend for only sorcerer's to be targets? Your background implies that, but the feat doesn't say that.

...What is the deciding factor that determines which organ holds which spell?

...What happens to a dead donor that is the subject of a Raise Dead or Resurection? Does he permanently lose his spell? Note: Raise Dead doesn't restore missing body parts.

...Does "cast it without materials" mean "material components", "focuses", or both.

...you allowed bite attacks if you grafted a mouth and the donor had that attack. I think that opens a door better left closed. If that's allowed, why not gaze attacks if you graft an eye?

Or, alternately, get rid of the ability to graft spells and only allow special abilities/attacks to be grafted. I think I like that better. If you want a claw attack, look for a creature that has one and "borrow" his hands. Want better hearing? A few extra ears should do the trick.

I voted for you last round, despite my worries about if you cold pull this off. I'm not sure I'm going to vote for you this round.

Great questions and feedback. I'll respond to each one after voting closes.

[Russ Taylor]

It's not been a good round (for me) for the ones I voted for last round. I'm a big fan of the flavor text for the fleshgrafter, but I think the concept outreached what you could do in 500 words. I feel the entry would have been better served to leave fleshgrafting more nebulously defined, and instead focused on specific and more impressive grafts. As it is, I feel like the entry is flavored with generous amounts of author fiat - and that the NPC as written can't pull off his own tricks.

Positives - the spell choices fit the personality extremely well. There's a few I might skip (like enlarge person), but overall they add to the creepy Lovecraftian sorcerer you're going for.

[Charles Evans 25]

Tarren:
Looking at your entry for this round I have had a nagging feeling that this could have been amazing, but it just didn't quite come together that way in the execution. The most likely reason, it seems to me, is that you only had a limited amount of time you could spend on the entry - looking at your own stat block you seem to me to be a pretty busy person, and if you have a family and a job you have to put ahead of even a Paizo RPGSuperstar contest, I do not think that you are making a bad decision. :)

Anyway, I need to clear my plate, and in the end I tossed a coin between Bracht and Jeroim for my fourth vote.

It came up Jeroim. My apologies to Bracht.

[Trevor Gulliver]

Many thanks to everyone who took the time to give feedback. I'd like to answer questions but am waiting to see if it is okay to begin talking in our threads...

[Joel Flank]

Sorry that I didn't get a chance to comment on this one before voting ended, but I did skim it earlier. I really liked the previous round of Bracht, and voted for him then. This time around, I felt that the stat block and new feat didn't live up to the promise from last round though.

There wasn't a lot of change in the description, which wasn't too bad, since it was stellar already. Unfortunately, lots of the competition steppd things up this round, and I think several passed you up. In particular, the plot hooks weren't that interesting. Also, I would have liked to hear more about some of his minions, even just "a fleshgrafted umber hulk" or something like that. Bracht's minions should be more interesting than just a generic "minion".

The biggest weakness of this round's entry is that the stat block didn't live up to the great description. I don't see enough to make Bracht a villain that cna stand up in a fight. Too many of his limited sorcerer spells are utility spells, and he doesn't have strong enough tactics. I get that he uses non-leathal tactics to capture his prey intact, but with weak defenses, I don't see him lasting long enough to do so. Maybe if his minions were described a bit more (through the use of the leadership feat perhaps.) I also have to agree that his equipment is poor, especially the scythe that eats up too much of his budget.

The new feat is okay, but it reminds me too much of the various WOTC graft feats to strike me a superstar quality. I was really hoping for a feat that represented Bracht's connection with Ohnishamotan that would grant some weird bonuses having to do with flashcrafting - but more by affecting his spellcasting and less as a Craft magic item feat.

Overall, while I didn't vote for Bracht this round, I love the concept enought that I hope you make it into the top 8 still. If I had 8 votes, you definately would have been in.

[Trevor Gulliver]

Mea culpa. After two rounds of fairly popular entries, I underwhelmed you. I want you to know, I didn't "rest on my laurels." I wouldn't do that; I have too much respect for the judges, the voters, and, most of all, the contestants who could have been in this round but aren't.

In truth, I worked hard to give Bracht some seriously cool fleshgrafts and then ... I flinched. It occurred to me at the last minute that the "one (and only one) new rule element" clause could be interpreted to mean that, although I could give Bracht an item creation feat, I could not give him the new items he would have created with that feat. I suspect the judges may have let me slide by--look at how lenient they have been with other rule violations--but some voters might feel it was a bit of a cheat. As it was too late to ask for a rule clarification by the time that occurred to me, I stripped Bracht of all his goodies, gave him third eye, brew fleshcrafting poison, and fleshcrafting poison of chitinous skin at the last minute. I didn't even take the time to reference them properly.

I'm sorry. If it turns out that the voters gave me a free pass anyhow, I'll try to give Bracht his mojo back with an awesome lair. I can't promise you that you will love it, but I promise I won't stop working on it until I love it. That is usually enough.

Now, since voting is closed, I will try to answer some of the questions and respond to specific feedback.

[Trevor Gulliver]

Clark Peterson wrote:

Plus, what I feared has seemingly come true--I dont see a single feat or ability or spell that allows Bracht to actually do what you say he can do. Yes, with the new feat he can graft things onto others. But how is he: "able to weave together limbs, eyes, and mouths from various creatures into walls of flesh that appear to move, grasp, and moan."? I dont see it.

Since this is something that might appear in his lair, I still can't answer that question. Several posters have already suggested one way. I can think of two others. The two others don't involve any bending of the rules, but they would make Bracht more of a charlatan than I want to.

Clark Peterson wrote:

My question for you last round was:

"I wish I knew a bit more how he does the things you say he does—fting limbs, etc., and regaining the abilities of the original owner of the limb—e a level 7 sorcerer and level 2 expert by themselves certainly don’t have access to the ability to do such things. So where do these powers come from? I don’t expect that to be detailed in this 500-word submission. I do want to see it later, though. Is it an item? A feat? Some weird lore learned from a tome? He doesn’t have cleric levels, so I don’t see it as a divine ability. My concern with this is only where his ability to do what he does comes from in that it seems like there is a disconnect between what he can do and where his power curve is as described."

I'm still not seeing the part where I said that Bracht could attach limbs onto living creatures. I said he could make moaning walls of flesh but reattaching limbs to living creatures is something he can't do yet. He'd like to. He'd really, really like to. Now he's all excited because he thinks you know a way to do this. I don't.

I've given him a feat that allows him to reattach small organs, namely mouths, eyes, etc. I've given them very little function except when activated to cast a spell.

[Trevor Gulliver]

Sean K Reynolds wrote:

Description: Same as R2 (which I liked).

Stat block: Some nitpicks.
No pluses in front of the saving throw values.
In each line of Spells Known, there's an extra space between (#/day) and the --
Skill Focus (heal) should be Skill Focus (Heal)
I assume the "third eye" magic item is from a Paizo book, but the stat block doesn't tell me which one--it should have a reference, at least "(Pathfinder #4)."

Rule Element:
I assume the "body slot" that the item takes refers to magic item slots?
Allowing grafted mouths opens a door into danger for the guy who wants to graft 10 mouths onto a creature so it gets 10 bite attacks per round.
The graft's caster level is based on CR for creatures without caster levels, but I can't think of any creatures that have spells or SLAs and don't have a caster level associated with them.
Does activating a graft provoke an attack of opportunity?
You need to capitalize Craft Wondrous item in the prereqs section.

The same stuff that I liked before is still here, but the new stuff didn't wow me.

Rec: do not advance.

Thanks for the careful read. There are a few stray spaces and apparently incorrect capitalization. I got the Skill Focus (heal) from Pathfinder #8 p. 55 where Lady Andaisin is given Skill Focus (necromancy). I assumed that was the correct way of doing things.

Sorry the new feat doesn't wow you. There are a few things I would change about it if I had a chance to grow based on feedback.

[Trevor Gulliver]

Jason Bulmahn wrote:

So, I am a fan of flesh warping characters (and the far realm-esque theme in general). I think some of the foul and grotesque things you can do with them can make for a very memorable adventure. That said, Bracht's background fits quite well with this and makes for an interesting use of this theme, allowing you to mesh this guy into a relatively normal campaign without having to go completely crazy and ruin part of your world (that is, unless he succeeds).

Thanks. I hope someone stops Bracht before he ruins Katapesh too. Fortunately, he is far too weak to accomplish his long-term goals yet.

Jason Bulmahn wrote:

On to the Stats. His defensive stats appear to be on the up and up (although his unusual anatomy should be listed under defensive abilities), even his AC is a bit low for an 11th level creature (I cover this issue a bit more later). His attacks are where we start to run into some problems. He is not proficient in the scythe, yet this is not reflected in his attack bonus. His acidic ray is not listed as ranged attack, with attack bonus and damage as it probably should be. His spells appear to be correct and it is obvious that he is of the Aberrant bloodline, despite this not being listed anywhere. I am not sure how you came about his ability scores, as they appear to be a bit better than what is normally possible. His CMB calculation is off by two (probably due to it set on his normal Str, not his enhanced Str). He appears to have one too many feats, but his skills appear to be correct (good catch on the favored class bonus).

His feats and ability stats are correct. I guess I should have shown my math more. I'm sure you knew they were correct and were just making the point I should have shown my math more.

His CMB is off. Typo. My bad.

Will bloodline information go in the 'gender race class level' in PRPG? Can you point me towards a published PRPG statblock for a sorcerer to work from when I fix this up?

Jason Bulmahn wrote:

Then we get on to his gear, which is a bit odd. He has spent a bit too much of his GP on his scythe and while I understand the purpose of having it, he can get the same effect through spells (that is, immobilizing foes so he can extract organs for them). Overall, he has a bit too little treasure for an 11th level character and some of this should have been spent increasing his defenses and his casting abilities.

Yep. I flinched. He had a whole bunch of fleshgrafts that were fairly well-balanced but I second guessed whether they broke the contest rules and stripped them off at the last minute.

Still ... Adding merciful to the scythe is a bit of a mixed blessing for the players. If Bracht manages to bring down a party, you can bet they'll wake up to hear him giving a long monologue about his plans ...

Jason Bulmahn wrote:

I really like the feat here, and while I am generally annoyed by new crafting feats, this one fits the concept rather well.

Thanks. I was careful to look at other item crafting feats and feel this one is fairly well-balanced. Okay, maybe the bite attack thing is too much ...

[Trevor Gulliver]

Wolfgang Baur wrote:

At 1300 words, this is one of the three or four shortest entries. Let's see what you do with that: shallow and lacking, or a finely-honed razor?

The concept and backstory are sharper by a notch than last time; well done. The premise is strong, and my first reaction to the stats is surprise. A sorcerer? Well, ok, maybe that works, but it seems to limit his spell range quite a bit

And looking at the spells chosen, I wonder a bit. Permanency? For a sorcerer? I was expecting that to hook into the fleshcrafting somehow, but I don't see it elsewhere in the stats. And he doesn't appear to have permanent effects on himself. Curious..

I can't comment on how he'll use permanency because if I make it into the next round, he might use it in his lair. I can see that a wizard would have made a more powerful Bracht, given the range of spells he needs, ... Thematically it could have worked too. When Ohnishamotan found Bracht 'pitifully limited' he could have abandoned Bracht, leading Bracht to loathe those blessed with aberrant bloodlines and pursuing wizardry to get his revenge. So, a sorcerer killing wizard or a sorcerer killing sorcerer. Slightly different feel but both work and yours probably would be more deadly.

Wolfgang Baur wrote:

And then there's bigger bits missing. The SQ elements of aberrant bloodline, long limbs, unusual anatomy should all have an entry, but I don't see them here. A mistake not to provide those details.

I assumed bloodline abilities would be treated as class abilities to save precious space in published adventures. Will they not be in PRPG?

Wolfgang Baur wrote:

And then there's the core new rule element: fleshcrafting. I'm afraid that shoehorning this concept into a feat probably does a disservice to what could be an entire magic subsystem with much more detail. It's all right, but I get the distinct sense that this subschool of necromancy is more than a feat can convey mechanically.

Recommendation I still love the concept, but the mastery of mechanics isn't wowing me here. I can't believe I'm saying this about a concept I like this much, but the mechanics aren't where they need to be. Not recommended.

Yes. I could have done a lot more--I wanted to do a lot more--but I was limited to one rule element. I chose the one that was most central to Bracht's identity as a villain.

[Trevor Gulliver]

Wolfgang Baur wrote:

And then there's the core new rule element: fleshcrafting. I'm afraid that shoehorning this concept into a feat probably does a disservice to what could be an entire magic subsystem with much more detail.

I find your ideas intriguing and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

[Trevor Gulliver]

Thanks to all four judges for your critical feedback. I'm sorry that Bracht didn't wow you this time around but I appreciate the comments and suggestions.

I will respond to other voters notes later today.

[Trevor Gulliver]

Clark Peterson wrote:

My question for you last round was:

"I wish I knew a bit more how he does the things you say he does—fting limbs, etc., and regaining the abilities of the original owner of the limb—e a level 7 sorcerer and level 2 expert by themselves certainly don’t have access to the ability to do such things. So where do these powers come from? I don’t expect that to be detailed in this 500-word submission.

I'm still not seeing the part where I said that Bracht could attach limbs onto living creatures. I said he could make moaning walls of flesh but reattaching limbs to living creatures is something he can't do yet. He'd like to. He'd really, really like to. Now he's all excited because he thinks you know a way to do this. I don't.

I've given him a feat that allows him to reattach small organs, namely mouths, eyes, etc. I've given them very little function except when activated to cast a spell.

Dear Mr. Orcus,

I am writing to you--a colleague I believe--to hear more about your experiments involving the grafting of limbs. I would be greatly indebted if you would share your research on this matter. If you take souls as payment, I would be glad to sell you Trevor's. He's not using it.

Bracht Darkhouse, Flesh-artist

[Trevor Gulliver]

Charles Evans 25 wrote:

Wolfgang:

I imagine that using permenancy in conjunction with Craft Construct and Craft Wondrous item is important to Bracht's deranged vision featuring black tentacles EVERYWHERE. The permanency actually makes a deranged kind of sense, even if Bracht is only at the experimental stage of trying to mix artifice with permanency. I can imagine his excitement at the thought that all he needed to do to fulfill his goal was to make lots of permenant black tentacles everywhere, then the horrible disappointment and the frantic hours of research ever since he first mastered permanency and discovered that that didn't quite work to try to find a way to 'fix' that problem....

Dear Charles,

It's like you can read my soul.

Yours,
Bracht.

[Trevor Gulliver]

Daniel Simonson wrote:

Had a thought. The ability to constuct flesh Golums would go a long way to explaining this guys deal. Something along those line would really benifit you as far as answering the judges. If you can activate a golum that is only half formed, why not one that is sowen together funky?

I can't respond to this as I would like because it may go into his lair. If the voters didn't advance Bracht, I'll respond.

[Trevor Gulliver]

Jason Nelson wrote:

William Senn wrote:

Jason Nelson wrote:

I like the idea of a merciful weapon (but why a non-proficient scythe?)

He's Human. Humans, in Pathfinder, get one free martial weapon proficiency of their choice.

Of course, that should be noted in his stat block...

True. I manage to forget that even though I'm playing in a PF Beta campaign.

Of course, we've only played a couple of sessions, and I'm playing a dwarf, not a frickin human! :)

The scythe was his free martial weapon. I should have added that to his feats.

[Trevor Gulliver]

roguerouge wrote:

Jason Bulmahn wrote:

I can see Clark's concern about this villain doing the things you mention in his backstory, but I am less concerned since he has feats such as Craft Construct and Craft Wondrous Item, which could certainly allow the creation of fleshy walls.

<some great stuff snipped>

The spell selection works much better thematically than Hecataeus' did, so good design there. I think Skill Focus: Heal's a nice touch, although the player's will never hear that joke.

I like this guy. He's a solid contender for my last vote.

Heal is also a requirement for some of the things Bracht would like to do in the future. He may not be interested in nursing you back to health but he could. He wouldn't. But he could.

[Trevor Gulliver]

Tarren Dei wrote:

Charles Evans 25 wrote:

The stats given already have a bull's strength figured into them, except in the 'base stats' line.

With an elite array of 15, 14, 13, 12, 10, 8, the human +2 to a stat of choice, and two ability increases of +1 for 4th and 8th HD, I can reach the totals currently given for Bracht, although I'm not sure why he spent one point raising strength from eight to nine, unless it was for the purpose of being able to lift/manhandle heavier lab gear or experimental subjects....

Thanks for your attention to detail, Charles!

You got this exactly right, even the thinking on the strength bonuses.

[Trevor Gulliver]

Tarren Dei wrote:

Tarren Dei wrote:

Charles Evans 25 wrote:

The stats given already have a bull's strength figured into them, except in the 'base stats' line.

With an elite array of 15, 14, 13, 12, 10, 8, the human +2 to a stat of choice, and two ability increases of +1 for 4th and 8th HD, I can reach the totals currently given for Bracht, although I'm not sure why he spent one point raising strength from eight to nine, unless it was for the purpose of being able to lift/manhandle heavier lab gear or experimental subjects....

Thanks for your attention to detail, Charles!

You got this exactly right, even the thinking on the strength bonuses.

My soul, Charles! My very soul.

[Trevor Gulliver]

NSpicer wrote:

Jason Nelson wrote:

I like the idea of a merciful weapon (but why a non-proficient scythe?), though it is probably superfluous in an 11th-level spellcaster...

Personally, I would have loved to see him be proficient with a war razor. Small, compact weapon. And dual use as a surgeon's scalpel. It's also a martial weapon, so he could use his human weapon training advantage with that.

I actually considered the war razor. I rejected it for the scythe because the sicko professional with a double-life and a war razor was done recently. That was actually the only reason for rejecting it.

But, I do like a merciful scythe ... Bracht is all about death and rebirth so it kind of made sense for him symbolically.

[Trevor Gulliver]

William Senn wrote:

Charles Evans 25 wrote:

Further Edit:

I will be interested to discover, once voting is over, which is the 'odd feat out'; I am inclined to think that is either Eschew Material Components or Scribe Scroll.

Eschew is a bonus feat granted to all Sorcerers.

We have a winner!

[Trevor Gulliver]

Aotrscommander wrote:

Well, close, but not, I fear, quite close enough for me this round. Even with his level boost, Bracht just doesn't seem to be able to deliver on his otherwise exceptional premise.

His sorcerer spells are a bit too geared towards his contructs, to the point where he's not much of a threat to the PCs by himself. Which, I fear, would make the climatic battle not as dramatic as it might be. He's basically completely reliant on others to do his fighting for him as he lacks any significant punch. He's not at all optimised for combat - which means this villain is liable to be a mere speed bump in the road for the PCs while they fight his (presumably) much more dangerous minions.

By comparison, Hecataeus manages to fulfill his whole 'creating minions thing' while being able to maintain offensive punch himself and it's not just the level difference that does it.

I wish you luck regardless.

It's very difficult to design a dangerous villain who doesn't want you to get scratched up at all. I attempted to give him spells that worked against weaknesses and tactics that allowed him to stand behind his minions and reach over to deliver touch spells with his long limbs.

[Trevor Gulliver]

Aphreal wrote:

For some reason, this entry just doesn't capture my imagination the way it seems to for many other people. I suspect it's because I spent several months playing an RPG called Rippers. It's a Victorian setting with a kind of League of Extaordinary Gentlemen feel to it, and the main novel mechanic is "ripping", taking part of monsters and grafting them onto people to give them some of that monster's power and possibly drive them crazy. So Bracht's fleshgrafting felt very stale and unoriginal to me.

Rippers is a pretty obscure game, and I suspect very few other people here have heard of it (anyone?), so I doubt Trevor was influenced by it at all. It just makes it hard for me to appreciate the new mechanic when I've seen a better fleshed-out (pun unintended) version of it before.

Never heard of Rippers. Is it any good? Is it d20?

[Trevor Gulliver]

Charles Evans 25 wrote:

Tactics Review:

Oh dear. Minions are mentioned, but no specifics of the aforementioned minions are given. That they are 'bizarre' creations and are probably constructs can be surmised, but without their having been detailed or even vaguely inked in, I am left with an impression that Bracht currently knows more than Trevor about what they and their capabilities are.

Bracht might know more about them than I do. I haven't seen the rules for the lair round yet. The judges could throw a twist in there. I left it intentionall vague so as to avoid painting myself into a corner.

[Trevor Gulliver]

Charles Evans 25 wrote:

Bracht Darkhouse wrote:

Charles Evans 25 wrote:

Tactics Review:

Oh dear. Minions are mentioned, but no specifics of the aforementioned minions are given. That they are 'bizarre' creations and are probably constructs can be surmised, but without their having been detailed or even vaguely inked in, I am left with an impression that Bracht currently knows more than Trevor about what they and their capabilities are.
The first significant weak-point to this entry.

Trevor would like to respond but will wait until after the voting period is finished.

When you're responding after voting is over you might like to explain too if the Daughters of Blinding Night are after you for stealing their secrets, or if you legitimately traded for information on third eyes.... :)

The reference in the description of third eye doesn't source this. I get nothing from a search of d20srd nor the pathfinder wiki. Who are the daughters of blinding night?

[Trevor Gulliver]

Russ Taylor wrote:

Positives - the spell choices fit the personality extremely well. There's a few I might skip (like enlarge person), but overall they add to the creepy Lovecraftian sorcerer you're going for.

Enlarge person is a bonus spell for the aberrant bloodline. I couldn't skip it even though I wanted too.

[Trevor Gulliver]

Tarren Dei wrote:

Charles Evans 25 wrote:

With regard to any perceived underspend on Bracht's gear, I imagine that flesh-warping laboratories (where Bracht is most likely to be encountered I suspect) don't come cheap.

Bracht would like to respond but will wait until after the voting period is finished.

You understand my pain, Charles.

[Charles Evans 25]

Tarren Dei wrote:

Charles Evans 25 wrote:

Bracht Darkhouse wrote:

Charles Evans 25 wrote:

Tactics Review:

Oh dear. Minions are mentioned, but no specifics of the aforementioned minions are given. That they are 'bizarre' creations and are probably constructs can be surmised, but without their having been detailed or even vaguely inked in, I am left with an impression that Bracht currently knows more than Trevor about what they and their capabilities are.
The first significant weak-point to this entry.

Trevor would like to respond but will wait until after the voting period is finished.

When you're responding after voting is over you might like to explain too if the Daughters of Blinding Night are after you for stealing their secrets, or if you legitimately traded for information on third eyes.... :)

The reference in the description of third eye doesn't source this. I get nothing from a search of d20srd nor the pathfinder wiki. Who are the daughters of blinding night?

The extent of my information on them is that on Page 43 of Pathfinder #9; nevertheless, if Bahor feels he has to respect and trade with them, instead of just steal their secrets, I assume that they are pretty tough cookies.

Sorry, I left the 'the' out which may have thwarted wikipedia? It should have been 'Daughters of the Blinding Night'.
On the strength of the visual references (third eyes, blinding night), and the mystical angle I'm thinking that they're some sort of divination/secrets/spying related organisation.

Hmm. I'll have to maybe email James Jacobs or check in at a Pathfinder Chat for more about them (if it's safe for Paizo to reveal anything about them).

[Trevor Gulliver]

Charles Evans 25 wrote:

Tarren Dei wrote:

Charles Evans 25 wrote:

Bracht Darkhouse wrote:

Charles Evans 25 wrote:

Tactics Review:

Oh dear. Minions are mentioned, but no specifics of the aforementioned minions are given. That they are 'bizarre' creations and are probably constructs can be surmised, but without their having been detailed or even vaguely inked in, I am left with an impression that Bracht currently knows more than Trevor about what they and their capabilities are.
The first significant weak-point to this entry.

Trevor would like to respond but will wait until after the voting period is finished.

When you're responding after voting is over you might like to explain too if the Daughters of Blinding Night are after you for stealing their secrets, or if you legitimately traded for information on third eyes.... :)

The reference in the description of third eye doesn't source this. I get nothing from a search of d20srd nor the pathfinder wiki. Who are the daughters of blinding night?

The extent of my information on them is that on Page 43 of Pathfinder #9; nevertheless, if Bahor feels he has to respect and trade with them, instead of just steal their secrets, I assume that they are pretty tough cookies.

Sorry, I left the 'the' out which may have thwarted wikipedia? It should have been 'Daughters of the Blinding Night'.
On the strength of the visual references (third eyes, blinding night), and the mystical angle I'm thinking that they're some sort of divination/secrets/spying related organisation.

Hmm. I'll have to maybe email James Jacobs or check in at a Pathfinder Chat for more about them (if it's safe for Paizo to reveal anything about them).

I figured they were based in Vudra, hence Vudran being one of Bracht's languages.

[Charles Evans 25]

Ah-ha, so he probably traded with them. And the Ancient Osiriani?

[Trevor Gulliver]

Steven T. Helt wrote:

Congratulations on Superstar '09 Top 16!

I see Ancient Osiriani as a language, and I don't feel like you made much of a connection. The only Golarion reference I see is Katapesh. Is there something about ancient Osirion that would help drive his goals or supplement his research?

As an applied linguist, I would love to see more about languages and the reasons that villains choose their languages. Paizo doesn't often mention them. As for whether ancient Osirion would help in Bracht's research, I think it would. We're talking about a powerful and advanced kingdom that existed in that area in the past. I'm betting we see some golems in modules based in ancient Osirion tombs.

Steven T. Helt wrote:

-We've all learned a lot about subtle changes in the game. Bracht's CR is 9.

I find that whole bit rather confusing and want clarification. How is the CR calculated for 1st level NPCs? CR 1/3?

Steven T. Helt wrote:

-Acidic ray is not listed as an attack option. Should be +6 ranged touch (1d6+5)

Yep. It should have been. Not that Bracht would use it.

Steven T. Helt wrote:

-Whatever else flashcrafting poison of chitinous skin is, it's a pretty bad name. And aside from guessing a +3 natural armor bonus (not as good as a potion of barkskin, then), you've told me nothing about it. Imagine your tactics section said "If combat is inevitable, Bracht blows his horn of stirges and retreats." We don't know what's going on and can't prepare the combat.

I should have cited sources for the fleshcrafting poison. As for the name, tell J.D. Wiker and Darrin Drader.

Steven T. Helt wrote:

-Not impressed with the generic description of 'his creations' or 'his minions'. If you want to evoke images of a fantastic combat and creepy underlings, you've got to try harder, which might boil down as the essential flaw of your entry.

I haven't seen the rules for the villain lair round, so I have not detailed the creatures you might find in it.

Thanks for your comments Steven.

[Trevor Gulliver]

Steven T. Helt wrote:

New Hotness

-The bookkeeping of different grafts. Plus, how can a donor cast a spell but not have a caster level. Also, CL should definitely default to HD and not CR.

Yes. 1/day spells require bookkeeping. This item does not change that. The note about CR should be cut.

Steven T. Helt wrote:

-What does this sentence mean: Fleshgrafts cannot be enhanced with spells higher than third level. A fleshgraft can't bestow a higher level spell than 3? Can it be modified by metamagic if the donor had such a feat?

No. Then the spell would be higher then 3rd level.

Steven T. Helt wrote:

-Does spell include spell-like ability? Seems a necessary inclusion, but it should be stated. And of course, the statement should be made that any such ability can only be used OPD and is activated as a SLA.

Yes, it should include spell-like ability. It should be stated.

Steven T. Helt wrote:

-Does the item have to be harvested just ebfore transplant, or can it be taken from a dead donor? How long does the magic from an organ survuve? Can it be preserved?

The feat specifies living donor.

Steven T. Helt wrote:

-Cost should be at least [spell level*caster level*800], which is double (no item slot) the formula for an item with one use per day, but no charges. As open-ended as the ability is, I would think the grafts would be more expensive.

The possibility of wisdom damage until the graft is removed, destroying the graft results in an increased cost. Replacing a 'rejected' graft increases the cost. It averages out pretty close to [spell level*caster level*800]. If anything, the grafts are too expensive. The cost increases for low level parties seeking 3rd level spells and decreases for higher level recipients. Nice, eh?

Steven T. Helt wrote:

-The bite attack is poorly conceived. Does it do the same damage as the donor? Are there size considerations? How many can you have? Does that come in addition to the SLA if the donor had both?

The bite attack was too much.

Steven T. Helt wrote:

-If I thought about it more, I would likely come up with more things I think have to be answered before the feat could be published. As it is, I think it's the poorest design of the round.

Please do. I'd like to hear more.