Really?
Hey lookie! We got us some roof rabbit fer the grill!
Aims Sarajuana at the feline
Whoa! I'll be sorrier than a one eyed gopher in a cactus patch!
OOOOOO ...... Catfight!Fight over, I win!
Curse you, you psychotic hag! CURSE YOU!!!
Curse you, you psychotic hag! CURSE YOU!!!OOOOOO ...... Catfight!Fight over, I win!
Hmmm. If I understand correctly, Kobold Cleaver, you seem to be trying to hex the mother of one of the most merciless and black-hearted lawyers on the Paizo Messageboards?
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Hmmm. If I understand correctly, Kobold Cleaver, you seem to be trying to hex the mother of one of the most merciless and black-hearted lawyers on the Paizo Messageboards?Curse you, you psychotic hag! CURSE YOU!!!OOOOOO ...... Catfight!Fight over, I win!
Mebbe so, but thet husseh is also a witch! Let's see whut kinda witch hunter yeh are.
Mebbe so, but thet husseh is also a witch! Let's see whut kinda witch hunter yeh are.Hmmm. If I understand correctly, Kobold Cleaver, you seem to be trying to hex the mother of one of the most merciless and black-hearted lawyers on the Paizo Messageboards?Curse you, you psychotic hag! CURSE YOU!!!OOOOOO ...... Catfight!Fight over, I win!
Perhaps so, madam, but this is the untitled thread, so I require a little more than 'he said, she said, I said, she was or is a witch'. Mammy keeps a fine supply of kindling suitable for burning witches or warlocks around the back of her house, in case she ever needs a 'spit roast', but before I start piling up the faaaggots (apologies for the drawl, but necessary for the messageboards) I need to see proof of dealings with the dark arts. An attempt to hex another member of the messageboard community, for example...
<eyes Kobold Cleaver speculatively, as if sizing him up for a stake>
<scuttles around with a measuring tape, sizing up Kobold Cleaver, Sebastian's Mother, and Mrs. Lichman>
Triple burning, boss, please? We can give Mammy a discount for rooting out three evil witches or warlocks...
<scuttles around with a measuring tape, sizing up Kobold Cleaver, Sebastian's Mother, and Mrs. Lichman>
Triple burning, boss, please? We can give Mammy a discount for rooting out three evil witches or warlocks...
Hmm. I'm not sure that we should be judging Mrs. Lichman by appearances, but it depends if Mammy wants them all to go or not.
Mammy; my assistant would like me to offer you our special 'covey' discount on burning three witches and/or warlocks at the stake in one go, with regard to the accused Kobold Cleaver, Mrs. Lichman, and Sebastian's Mother. The sole legal requirement, given that one of them has been seen trying to hex another, is for you, as hostess, to agree that they are all guilty, and we can proceed to the burning stage. If as hostess you prefer to avoid such a fine spectacle as a multiple witch/warlock burning some of them shoot green sparks out of their ears as the flames take hold (or the screaming of terrifying imprecations such as 'may you be plagued with the latest Windows update'), we can either carry it out discreetly on another thread, or leave them be.
We have no problem accepting payment in Confederate currency.
Never mind that Larry ... you can keep him, you dimestore hussy!
Yoo hoo, Mr. Witch Hunter! I sure do appreciate a man of authority who wears uniforms and cute little beards... Is there a Mrs. Witch Hunter General?
*Grabs some spicy popcorn and watches the lady-gent hunting action- PBR on the side, of course*
Never mind that Larry ... you can keep him, you dimestore hussy!
Yoo hoo, Mr. Witch Hunter! I sure do appreciate a man of authority who wears uniforms and cute little beards... Is there a Mrs. Witch Hunter General?
Hey, keep your claws outta the boss. Isn't there a 'Sebastian's father' around somewhere?
Enybuddy wunt one uh muh homebrew beers?
Sure, I 'm already dead, what's the worst that could happen?
*Is burned to ash*
*Three weeks later, KC regenerates as he usually does*
I'm not a witch, you psychotic Monty Python villager! I am a lich!!!
Enybuddy wunt one uh muh homebrew beers?
Yay! Homebrew beer! Me liver ids lon' gon', so whadda heck!
*grabs a beer*
*Is burned to ash*
*Three weeks later, KC regenerates as he usually does*
I'm not a witch, you psychotic Monty Python villager! I am a lich!!!
He appears to have immolated himself whilst I was waiting upon Mammy's reply.
Uh, does that mean we can't give Mammy a covey discount, boss?
That would appear to be the case, and with Mrs. Lichman quiescent, that appears to leave only Sebastian's mother to deal with, whom we would have to offer a standard rate upon.
Darn. I doubt Mammy can afford to have Sebastian's Mother witch-burnt at the standard rate.
<raking through Kobold Cleaver's ashes has bright idea>
Hey, everyone! Look! Embers perfect for roasting potatoes wrapped in foil in, for baked potatoes!
Eh, cummagin?
Eh, cummagin?
<hands Trey a baked potato, wrapped in foil, just cooked in Kobold Cleaver's ashes>
Here. Careful. It's hot.
Kill da Wabbits!
<piles more potatoes wrapped in foil into the glowing embers, to baked>
Here guys, help yourself when they're done, but mind your fingers, as they're hot.
I think I saw a bottle of chilli sauce somewhere, if you want seasoning.
The Witch Hunter General's flunkie puts MSG in his taters?
Uh. 'Witch Hunter General'.
Confound that Ninja, Mairkurion.
Here. Have some potatoes.
Thanks. Are these taters from that Ustalav place I hear so much about?
Ustalav? Uh, no. Well if they're from Ustalav, we certainly don't get them there. I mean Ustalav's one of those 'business only' places for witch hunters.
I think these potatoes are 'patriotics', which were grown in Andoran. Not to be confused with the 'patriotic reds' from Galt, where it's best not to ask too many questions about the soil they grow in, or just where the stain comes from...
Mmm...starchy. Potatoes, the preferred tuber of republicans and communists.
<piles more potatoes wrapped in foil into the glowing embers, to baked>
Here guys, help yourself when they're done, but mind your fingers, as they're hot.
I think I saw a bottle of chilli sauce somewhere, if you want seasoning.
Get away from my ashes, you sociopath!
Get away from my ashes, you sociopath!<piles more potatoes wrapped in foil into the glowing embers, to baked>
Here guys, help yourself when they're done, but mind your fingers, as they're hot.
I think I saw a bottle of chilli sauce somewhere, if you want seasoning.
Hey, you burnt yourself to ash, whilst we were waiting to hear if Mammy wanted a show or not. And I thought you said it took you several weeks to reform?
Here, have a potato anyway.<tosses Kobold Cleaver a potato baked in the ashes>
darb hippehs!
*throws an empty can of PBR at the hippies*
Outta da lawn!
Get away from my ashes, you sociopath!<piles more potatoes wrapped in foil into the glowing embers, to baked>
Here guys, help yourself when they're done, but mind your fingers, as they're hot.
I think I saw a bottle of chilli sauce somewhere, if you want seasoning.
Hey, you burnt yourself to ash, whilst we were waiting to hear if Mammy wanted a show or not. And I thought you said it took you several weeks to reform?
Here, have a potato anyway.
<tosses Kobold Cleaver a potato baked in the ashes>
It weren't me. It was that Heathansson fella. I really shouldn't have taken that beer. Regenerating me from that took a lot of energy out of my phylactery.
*Munches on potato*
Drones drag in a recruitment stand, hang up streamers ,cart in the beer, set up the grill and start handing out pamphlets
Mammy; my assistant would like me to offer you our special 'covey' discount on burning three witches and/or warlocks at the stake in one go, with regard to the accused Kobold Cleaver, Mrs. Lichman, and Sebastian's Mother. The sole legal requirement, given that one of them has been seen trying to hex another, is for you, as hostess, to agree that they are all guilty, and we can proceed to the burning stage. If as hostess you prefer to avoid such a fine spectacle as a multiple witch/warlock burning some of them shoot green sparks out of their ears as the flames take hold (or the screaming of terrifying imprecations such as 'may you be plagued with the latest Windows update'), we can either carry it out discreetly on another thread, or leave them be.
We have no problem accepting payment in Confederate currency.
Rummages in old tin can
I gots round about $400,000 in bills, mostly $500 brownbacks.
removes fat wad of faded brown notes from rusty can
I don't cotton to witches, no sir, I's a member of the Pentecostal Church of Pelor, Crystalmist synod.
Anyone wanna play poker?