SHARINA LEGENDSINGER
Female human bard 6
Description: "I will make you immortal!" - Sharina Legendsinger
Sharina is striking by anyone's standards, with long raven tresses, flawless dusky skin, dark eyes full of stars, and always a hint of a smile: she's tall, slim, and captivating. Her dress manages to be both practical and flattering, without being more than ever-so-slightly provocative. All this would certainly draw plenty of attention even if she didn't have the grace of a cat and a voice like strawberry wine. She loves nothing better than to perform songs about legendary heroes before an adoring crowd, especially if she composed them herself.
Motivations/Goals: Sharina is out to make the PCs famous, by any means necessary. She knows that by composing and performing works about their heroic prowess, she gains even more fame than they do. So she seeks every opportunity to turn potential threats into real ones. She uses suggestions to stoke simmering hostilities. She uses her knowledge skills to seek out and antagonize dangerous beasts. And when she thinks the PCs are ready to take a featured role in it, she'll start a war. If confronted she will use persuasion, acrobatics, and magic to escape, but even afterward she'll manipulate and assist from the background, turning the PCs into heroes of legend--whether they like it or not.
Schemes/Plots/Adventure Hooks: Ideally, Sharina is a member of the PCs' party, or at least a prized ally. This is the perfect spot for her to manipulate events, where she can use bluff and diplomacy skills to provoke encounters, while still proving her value by empowering the PCs to even greater exploits, and growing more powerful as they do. The PCs can consult her on knowledge of the area, and won't know that she's leading them directly into dangers they could have avoided.
A young adult white dragon has recently made its home on a nearby mountain peak. Sharina sends whispering winds to taunt it, daring it to attack homesteads and carry off juicy livestock.
Sharina secretly composes derogatory songs about Puckett, hot-headed monarch of a nearby kingdom. No one knows their source, but they're hilarious and contagious. King Puckett even hears them in his sleep. When he's at the height of his ire, Sharina sends him an anonymous note to inform him that the songs were composed by the young son of the PCs' liege lord.
When the PCs begin to endanger the fame she's built at their expense, Sharina launches her ultimate plan. She draws an overwhelming hostile force (say, a horde of orcs, or the army of an enraged king) to a large, poorly defended village. She then sends a message to the PCs, telling them truthfully that the only way to save the villagers is for the PCs to hold a choke point in a nearby valley long enough for her to evacuate the village. She promises their glorious sacrifice will be sung of forever, and bids them farewell.
As I read this villain, I kept thinking over and over, "oh this character is SO annoying!" Which is what makes her so effective. The PCs are at first going to appreciate her spreading news of their fame, but they'll eventually reach the point of "STOP HELPING US!" And when it goes too far, she puts them into incredible danger and sells their story as a tragic balled. And if the PCs try to stop her, well, it's not like they can justify killing her just for telling tavern tales (assuming they don't find out that she's actually been baiting enemies to attack them).
The author deserves some props for using a bard to spread stories and fame, and have that be a negative thing for the PCs.
Rec: advance to next round!
Wow, as I prepared to paste my review in for this villain I scanned the posts above mine.
I always try to be neutral. I copy the submission and paste it into Word, trying my best not to read any reviews that have come before. I craft my own review. I have peeked on occasion at prior reviews, but I try not to.
I do read them all after I post mine in and have been pretty amazed at how consistent we are.
But I goofed my copy up and as a result wound up sitting staring at the above reviews. So I was surprised at the difference.
I dont like this one as much as the others did :)
Initial Impression: Hmmm, a bard villain? How is this going to work?
Word Count: 494.
Concept (name, title, is it actually a villain?, overall design choices, playability): C+
The Good: I’ll give you points for trying. The “I’ll make you famous at all costs for my own gain” is certainly an interesting motivation. I don’t know if I’ve seen that before, though perhaps a jealous Svengali type villain does make some sense. I just can’t think of any off the top of my head. So it is at least unique. And I do like low level villains. They are hard to do.
The Bad: A villain that works best if it is a member of your own party? How is that going to work? That stinks of a railroad job. Seriously, PCs would get wise to this quick and say “hey, get the heck out of here.” She’d get ditched at the first opportunity. So while this is a neat idea, I don’t think she would work at the game table. This works best as a PC that is secretly in on the joke with the DM as opposed to an NPC villain—and we all know how horrible that is when one of the PCs turns on the other members of the party. Literally, some players will stop speaking with each other in real life over stuff like that. I don’t want to encourage that kind of play. And I just don’t think fame is enough of a driving force for true villainy.
Execution (quality of writing, hook, theme, organization, use of proper format, quality of mandatory content-physical description, motivation/goal, scheme/plot, presence of any disqualification criteria): B
The Good: I will say this—I LOVED the plot hook where she sends suggestions to the nearby dragon to come and attack just to generate heroic events for her own songs. That’s nasty.
The Bad: OK, she’s hot. Got it. I think you wasted words on her appearance.
Tilt (did it grab me?, is it unique and cool?, do I like it?, flavor and setting): C+
This really didn’t hook me. It is unique though. And it has some promise, but that promise comes more from me expanding on your kernel than your design. Plus I have playability concerns.
Overall: B-
A funky idea that is rather clever but that I don’t think will work in practice at the game table.
Recommendation: I DO NOT recommend this villain submission for advancement.
From the guy who brought us the boundary chalk. Luckily, you’ve got Ed Greenwood on your side. For your sake, I hope the voters agree with him and Sean.
Kobold Press
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I love bards as villains; they are perfect for the role, with their manipulation, their social skills, their status as talespinners and heralds and satirists. You can do a lot with a bard's manipulation of the society around the party... and Sharina mostly does use those tricks and a few more.
The hooks are especially notable and well-crafted, though I also like the sheer glee of this design. It does get the DM juices going.
That said... There's some problems here. In particular, the line about getting close to the party gave me pause. It's possible to make villains like that work very well, but it screams "For experienced players only!". It's too likely to fall apart for an inexperienced DM.
This character is very tricky to run, as she could all too easily become the DM's proxy and have the party doing crazy stuff just because Sharina says they should. And at that point, the players aren't making the decisions in the campaign, they're just doing whatever the DM wants, all the time. Not every group is going to consider that a good time. Other groups will just rebel, which ... leads us to Sharina's last trick. Which is wonderful, and shows real forethought in your design of this villain.
Finally, the name "Legendsinger" just reeks of cheeseball fantasy novels from the 80s.
Recommendation: Recommended, with serious reservations.
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I have a major soft spot for bards. Which means I read this entry with some trepidation, hoping Sharina wouldn't let me down. I can't wait to introduce this villain in my current game. Scratch that - I'm going to remake a current NPC in Sharina's image. Oh yes, glee will ensue. For me, anyway!
That said, there are a few flaws here that the judges have already discussed. We'll see if Sharina gets one of my votes. Right now she's in the lead for vote #3.
Eh, I like her. The physical description and the last name are a bit over-the-top in a bad way, but I could have fun with using this villain.
RPG Superstar 2013
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aka Steven T. Helt
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Like the plague, I would avoid phrases like "without being more than ever-so-slightly provocative." When you see people mention "clunky writing" (a recent favorite fo some of my critics), that's what they mean. Also, the rest of her description contains flowery, sleep-inducing details. Strawberry wine? Utterly cliche.
Now, I dig bards, and I have a major bard villain in line for something big - if I can claw my way to that point. I get that they can be evil, self-serving and manipulative. But this bard has no subtlety, and I think is not even capable of pulling off the things you describe. At level six, she's not going to tempt a white dragon.
And she won't much work as a member of the party. Players have ways of sniffing things out, and then a terrible time ignoring that info in character. If one of them even suspects she's not working in their best interests, the rest of the party will be right behind them, because their suspicions will bear that out.
The concept of a foil riding the legend of the party, like Samuel Jackson in Unbreakable, is imaginative and original. I think your prose and execution suffer, and being such a low level is a poor design choice given her adventure hooks. But she's the best villain of the three I've read, and I know a few players who would love to hate her.
I really like the concept here, although I do think that inserting Sharina into the party on a regular basis would be fairly tricky. If I used her in a game, I'd be tempted to place her as the court bard or otherwise attach her to another authority figure. That way, she can subtly direct the quests offered to the PCs, and also wield enough influence on her own to compel the PCs to listen to her.
I'm also a big fan of villains who have villainous options outside of violence. It forces the PCs to consider non-combat means of defeating the villain, or creates new story elements through the consequences of taking violent action against them.
CR
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A young adult white dragon has recently made its home on a nearby mountain peak. Sharina sends whispering winds to taunt it, daring it to attack homesteads and carry off juicy livestock."
Bravo, you deserve my vote, and may get it. You just made it harder for me now.
My only complaint, as small as it may be, was what appears to be a cop out suggestion of oh "(say, a horde of orcs, or the army of an enraged king)"
This is supposed to be your example of an awesome Idea, "I'm" not supposed to do the thinking for you. If you advance, be creative, don't make me disgruntled you advanced on sheer luck.
WW.
This young lady will be making her way into my home campaign. The core concept is brilient. The only way i can see that she could be improved is changing her motivations slightly. If she believes that what she is doing is a good thing, then she becomes more interesting still to mind. People need heroes and she is giving them what they need.
The first thing that jumps out at me is the description. Much too long, much too flowery, much too cliche. Also, in my experience including statements along the lines of striking by anyone's standards and manages to be both practical and flattering are a really bad idea; everyone has different tastes and there's no way everyone's going to agree what's striking, what's practical, what's flattering. Rather than tell readers what you think they should feel about the character, simply describe what makes you think these things and allow other to come to their own conclusion. Sharina may be your creation, but as a result you see her in a light that's likely unique to you.
I love the concept of a villain that acts within the party, but I have to agree that it feels too much like railroading. It's simply not a feasible mechanic in most groups; players are often going to be suspicious of a NPC that the GM has following after them constantly. They have various means at their disposal to unmask her much too early for her to be effective, and I fear this would be the likely outcome in most cases.
The adventure hooks are enjoyable, but I have to agree that they seem outside of Sharina's ability to carry out at level 6. Such a villain would likely level up alongside the party, but without initial hooks to get things rolling you're leaving a very important part of villain design up to the GM. In fact I don't consider them to be hooks at all, as they simply aren't sufficient to bring players into initial contact with the villain; they don't accomplish the task of drawing the PCs in.
Wow lots of praise :) I actually didn't care for this one, if only because she's the kind of villain that's going to annoy the players to death. Some DMs like playing "ha gotcha!" but it's just not my style. Betrayal is a fine part of any campaign, but this villain is just so... snarky.
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Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7
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Reckless Ratings
Concept2
(Is this villain villainous?)
Content3
(Grammar, Format,Spelling, Etc.)
Coolness3
(Would my players be impressed by this? Am I?)
Credibility2
(Does the villain’s motives make sense?)
Clarity2
(How good a sense of how to stat this villain do we get?)
Scores out of 5 and completely based on my opinion only.
Total Score12
Director of Brand Strategy
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I like a bad guy at only level 6. Nice for low level adventures and since she's known by the PCs, if they don't pick up on her machinations, it's easy enough to add a new bard level to her as a DM to keep here apace with the party. I'm considering adding this to the next game I run at low level, actually. Good work.
Last name bugs me some, too obvious in some odd way. And while I like her, I like the writing and feel, I can see the trouble getting her close enough to the party and sustaining it. Going to have to mull her, but she's got that villainy in her, for sure.
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This is my #1 choice. Really great job. I think a recurring villain who frustrates the party, and who is not necessarily a big monster to fight at the end of an adventure, is simply fantastic.
And I like the name! Fantasy characters frequently have goofy, over-the-top names. And in a fantasy world with bards, the name sounds like a professional moniker. E.g., Joe Smith got his name from the fact that his ancestors were smiths. She might have applied the name to herself to describe her role in the world.
Carl,
This is by far my favorite villain out of all thirty-two! She is subtle and dastardly, and very different from most other villains. I'm very excited to see what you bring out next round.
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I think as a dungeonmaster, it's hard to pull this one off, but it can be done.
It's like a Clark Ashton Smith story:
"if you are walking around in Averoigne in the woods at night and you meet a beautiful lady, she's probably going to turn into something and eat you." Warning Will Robinson! Warning! Warning!
But this one can be pulled off, because she's subtler than that. The lady is trouble.
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At first I wasn't sure how I felt about this villain. I thought that her motives would become pretty clear to the PC's early on. But the longer I read it and realized that some of her actions would be covert, I started digging on on this character a lot. What better way for a bard to tell a story than it be completely true and witnessed first hand. Good motivation.
I'm still torn. On one hand, this is pretty unique and she is performing evil actions. On the other hand, she reminds me of some trickster spirit who wouldn't be that difficult to overcome.
When it comes down to it, I think that the execution of the DM is what will determine if this will be a really cool character or a possibly annoying encounter.
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The thing is, I've known people like this IRL, and watched other people turned into putty in their hands. These people should have known better, but they weren't thinking with their brains.
That's what cracks me up about this entry. In reality a character would get reeled in, but in the metagame the paranoid player will probably see right through it all. I mean, here's a Hot Babe, and she wants to follow you around writing songs about how great you are!!! SCORE!!!
Oh, and when I said people, I meant people. This isn't a condemnation of the fairer sex as the wiley manipulator.
The thing is, I've known people like this IRL, and watched other people turned into putty in their hands. These people should have known better, but they weren't thinking with their brains.
That's what cracks me up about this entry. In reality a character would get reeled in, but in the metagame the paranoid player will probably see right through it all. I mean, here's a Hot Babe, and she wants to follow you around writing songs about how great you are!!! SCORE!!!Oh, and when I said people, I meant people. This isn't a condemnation of the fairer sex as the wiley manipulator.
~laughter~ Shall I inform your wife as to what you just wrote? ~gives a wicked grin~
I hate to say it, but this one just doesn't work as a villain - at least not in a typical D&D game. Honestly, any party worth its salt is going to see past her myriad bluffs eventually unless she has her pretty hands on a magic item that gives her permanent glibness, not to mention the fact that, by playing the part of a party member, she could likely die in combat barring DM handwaving.
I've gone back and forth on this one. First I like it, then I don't (for some of the cliche description) but ultimately it stands out as a bard villain, and I keep thinking of ways that I could use her (and there are a lot of ways). Got my vote on this one.
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Honestly, any party worth its salt is going to see past her myriad bluffs eventually
I don't view that as a strike against her. Every good villain has to have a weakness and must be something the heroes eventually surmount. For most villains, the party "eventually" defeats it through combat. Here, the heroes will only eventually defeat this villain by using their brains, realizing what's going on, and then figuring out a solution (which might be something other than "kill her").
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 6
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Dedicated Voter Season 6
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The storyteller who makes the news instead of witnessing it is a good one, and very underused in fantasy. But like some of the others, I'm left a bit cold by the florid writing. Also, some of her goals seem out of range of her level and talents - starting a war, for example. Maybe if she advances with the PCs over the long haul, though.
Goes into the "maybe" column for the time being.
Does it grab me? Yes / No
Can I use it? Yes
End result: maybe
I was completely underwhelmed until I hit the motivations and goals section.
Then you blew me away. This villain makes up for all of its shortcomings with its sheer potential. I admit it would take some finesse to make it work, but all of the mischief this villain can cause just gets me excited to play her.
It gets my vote.
The thing is, I've known people like this IRL, and watched other people turned into putty in their hands. These people should have known better, but they weren't thinking with their brains.
That's what cracks me up about this entry. In reality a character would get reeled in, but in the metagame the paranoid player will probably see right through it all. I mean, here's a Hot Babe, and she wants to follow you around writing songs about how great you are!!! SCORE!!!Oh, and when I said people, I meant people. This isn't a condemnation of the fairer sex as the wiley manipulator.
Which is exactly why it would be really nice to have decent social mechanics in the game :D
There are so many things about Sharina that impress me. Mostly, it's the versatility. If the PCs call her out, that doesn't mean she's gone. Odds are good at that point that the party will just kick her out. She can easily continue her work outside the group, using others to do what's needed.
I especially like that she's a long-term villain. As the group advances, she will also, giving her access to more ways to manipulate situations, individuals, and groups. In fact, if the PCs do call her out and get rid of her, as she's advancing they won't know what new skills she gains, making it harder to pin down that Sharina's the source of their troubles.
The versatility of Sharina is impressive. Eventually, a group is going to call her out. The question is when? The later they do it, the more she's going to have built up against them. But if they do it earlier, they'll have a harder time determining the events that she caused. This really is a villain that will be evolved dynamically over the campaign.
This is easily worthy of my vote.
My favorite so far out of the 11 I've read. I'd player her an npc party member. Then if the party said "beat it", she'd stalk them. Until they finally got fed up and started trying to kill her.
Great idea, hope to see you next round!
The thing is, I've known people like this IRL, and watched other people turned into putty in their hands. These people should have known better, but they weren't thinking with their brains.
That's what cracks me up about this entry. In reality a character would get reeled in, but in the metagame the paranoid player will probably see right through it all. I mean, here's a Hot Babe, and she wants to follow you around writing songs about how great you are!!! SCORE!!!
I agree, in metagame this would be quite obvious, so it requires players who do make an effort in staying in role and avoiding metagaming. With players like that, this would be a killer.
Actually, I would be interested in actually incorporating this character to the group by having one of the players play her...I have played and DM'd in groups where players do have hidden agendas agreed together with DM or actually given by DM, sort of "how would you like to play a demon in human form who is using these other stooges to achieve XXXXX?"
Oh, how we all laughed...
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Vote cast, you made the list.
So far my top pick, I almost wish to see her in an entire adventure path, working with [read: against] the PCs from level 1 to maybe 10 or higher then have them discover shes been working against them this whole time.
By then she'll have some impressive knowledge of the PCs and a wealth of dirt or leverage to use against them, as she then moves on to other groups, or continues to plague them.
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Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8
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The thing is, I've known people like this IRL, and watched other people turned into putty in their hands. These people should have known better, but they weren't thinking with their brains.
That's what cracks me up about this entry. In reality a character would get reeled in, but in the metagame the paranoid player will probably see right through it all. I mean, here's a Hot Babe, and she wants to follow you around writing songs about how great you are!!! SCORE!!!
I agree, in metagame this would be quite obvious, so it requires players who do make an effort in staying in role and avoiding metagaming. With players like that, this would be a killer.
Actually, I would be interested in actually incorporating this character to the group by having one of the players play her...I have played and DM'd in groups where players do have hidden agendas agreed together with DM or actually given by DM, sort of "how would you like to play a demon in human form who is using these other stooges to achieve XXXXX?"
Oh, how we all laughed...
Our games usually involve "secret notes" from player to DM and back.
Now a days with emails I write myself notes and email them after the game or create them before hand and code name them and slip a piece of paper to the DM simply saying "Aztec Surprize." which means something I thought out well ahead of time.
But it wouldn't be a fun game if you didn't think your buddy was out to get you every now and then.
Charisma does not equal comeliness.
Charisma does not equal comeliness.
But charisma equals comeliness when it's a female NPC.
Since this entry is a contender for me, it is disappointing that you fall into that trap.
Charisma measures a character’s force of personality,
persuasiveness, personal magnetism, ability to lead,
and physical attractiveness. This ability represents
actual strength of personality, not merely how one is
perceived by others in a social setting.
Note how personality is mentioned twice in defining the stat, while attractiveness is de-emphasized as one of four.
It's not your fault, of course. Virtually ALL fantasy art depicting high charisma female characters ignores this time-honored definition of the trait.
Your bard could have the exact same charisma score as a 50 year-old bardic has-been whose looks were ruined by decades of drink. Her sultry rough voice, her piercing gaze, her grittiness, and her demanding nature would equally justify the charisma score. Think Gloria Swanson in Sunset Boulevard, Glen Close, or Maryl Streep. Their physical appearance is not the reason that they're remembered. It's their strength of personality and the magnetism generated by their skill as actors. Heck, think of Margaret Thatcher. Do you want to sleep with her? If not, does that make her any less charismatic?
Of course, people defend cheesecake images of Seoni based on her charisma score, so clearly I'm in the minority in my strict construction of the ability score rules.
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Charisma does not equal comeliness.
Charisma does not equal comeliness.
But charisma equals comeliness when it's a female NPC.
Since this entry is a contender for me, it is disappointing that you fall into that trap.
You're falling into the reverse of that trap, though, by kvetching about someone who's good looking having a high charisma.
You're falling into the reverse of that trap, though, by kvetching about someone who's good looking having a high charisma.Charisma does not equal comeliness.
Charisma does not equal comeliness.
But charisma equals comeliness when it's a female NPC.
Since this entry is a contender for me, it is disappointing that you fall into that trap.
No, it's seconding Clark's comment re: "I get it. She's hot." and Steven Helt's comments about how he describes her. Others made a similar complaint about the villain Gale. And while I've yet to finish all the entries, I've yet to find an average-looking female NPC (who's not a severed ghast head).
I'm describing where this design flaw comes from, IMO. He emphasizes her hotness so much because it's a fantasy genre writing trait. He's so creative otherwise that I want to take the opportunity to encourage him not to fall into formula in the future, because I LIKE this character concept.
Hey, other people have push button issues too (dislike otyughs as villains; pacifist villains).
Charisma does not equal comeliness.
Charisma does not equal comeliness.
But charisma equals comeliness when it's a female NPC.
Since this entry is a contender for me, it is disappointing that you fall into that trap.
Charisma measures a character’s force of personality,
persuasiveness, personal magnetism, ability to lead,
and physical attractiveness. This ability represents
actual strength of personality, not merely how one is
perceived by others in a social setting.Note how personality is mentioned twice in defining the stat, while attractiveness is de-emphasized as one of four.
It's not your fault, of course. Virtually ALL fantasy art depicting high charisma female characters ignores this time-honored definition of the trait.
Your bard could have the exact same charisma score as a 50 year-old bardic has-been whose looks were ruined by decades of drink. Her sultry rough voice, her piercing gaze, her grittiness, and her demanding nature would equally justify the charisma score. Think Gloria Swanson in Sunset Boulevard, Glen Close, or Maryl Streep. Their physical appearance is not the reason that they're remembered. It's their strength of personality and the magnetism generated by their skill as actors. Heck, think of Margaret Thatcher. Do you want to sleep with her? If not, does that make her any less charismatic?
Of course, people defend cheesecake images of Seoni based on her charisma score, so clearly I'm in the minority in my strict construction of the ability score rules.
Do or do not a significant proportion become markedly less bright when a pretty woman is involved? Social villains would be fools not to take advantage of this. If Sharina looked like she had been kicked in the face by a horse and liked looking that way, as someone trying to influence others, it would benifit her to have an amulet that made her loop perfect.
Like it or not, Beth ditto, Michele Stodart and Angela Gannon are the exception to the rule. Successful popular performers, both male and female are more often than not good looking. Because good looking performers attract bigger audiance more often than not.
It probably isn't right in real life, but it is accurate to have the majority of successful bards be pretty.
Sorcerers less so, but physical appearance is atleast in part covered by the attribute so attractive high charisma characters should be more common than not.
I really like Sharina. I think we would have a blast with this character at our table. You got my vote.
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Like the plague, I would avoid phrases like "without being more than ever-so-slightly provocative." When you see people mention "clunky writing" (a recent favorite fo some of my critics), that's what they mean. Also, the rest of her description contains flowery, sleep-inducing details. Strawberry wine? Utterly cliche.
still it reminds me of Ville Valo and Natalia Avelon's Summer Wine, I love the whole concept...
yes she is tricky to play and the idea is that she will level along with the players... so while she began as low level as them, when she is ready for a final act of Legend she will be high level enough to push it... it works specially with an small party that needs some spellcasting help
what is more... Greg you said Fame is not enough to make someone a villain... there are people who kill for 15 minutes in the spot, for time being celebrities... she eats, breaths, pumps for the cheer and the applaud... and she will stop at nothing to get it... I see her as Neutral inclining heavily to Neutral Evil...
I see her beginning slowly, not railroading, but sometimes making commentariesor recommendations, other times leading their enemis to the PC, she doesn't need to tell the PC to do things... she just need to helpthing happen, and she has the resources...
I am gonna steal her :)
Carl you have my vote! and I hope shehas the Boundary Chalk... it would be funny that she does inconvenience the players and when they try to react she is already on the other side of the force wall complaining of how 'uncomperative and ungrateful' they are