err i think i was praying to hard yesterday... and I was a bit angry... my goddess would kill when she learns I accidentaly impersonated her :S
That's nothing that a bit of an atonement spell couldn't take care of- that and plenty of naked supplications and some light spankings- bonus points if it can get uploaded on Thoutube for the whole world to see. ;P
and no doctor nothing of that sort... if it was like that I would have already an army to save the world of whatever dangers aroused
But they don't have to be full-sized clones. I wuz thinking something about 12" high maybe; tall enough to fit into those Barbie-Doll sized fashion (and their various second-world factory knock-offs) clothing ;)
For those that want an audiovideo explanation of the CornholioThis made my day. *Adds to favorites on Youtube*
Ayup- Nothing like having a little blast from the 90's past to liven things up around here. ;)
err i think i was praying to hard yesterday... and I was a bit angry... my goddess would kill when she learns I accidentaly impersonated her :Sgah!! damnable clown! by Iomedae's shining sword... I swear I will make justice for this!
*mumble grumble* i meant pure, my body remains pure through my goddess blessing and my mind through deep prayers and meditation!
*swears an Oath by the 11 acts to search a dictionary before acquescing to any word or recomendation made by the clown*
Oooh. Juicy. Price. Lust, Wrath....
you forget Pride!... err ugh!
A deliberate typo to further confuse you.
*returns from her attonement, for some reason she won't sit*
...and in moments like this I'm glad I stayed as an acolyte and never took actual cleric levels.
*returns from her attonement, for some reason she won't sit*...and in moments like this I'm glad I stayed as an acolyte and never took actual cleric levels.
I could give you a crash course.
My way's better, too, because you're allowed a Safe Word. And we take turns.
I'm bored. That means: mischief! Who wants to be the target of some practical jokes? Volunteers, or do I have to pick someone.... "randomly"?
Pick on anybody but me you chaotic jester, I suggest one of the ladies with you.
mmm *sigh* considering I won't send you to make practical joeks to anyone... I offer me this - only - time as a voluntary sacrifice for your practical joke... just this one time...
*shispers to Joanne* run...
Pick on anybody but me you chaotic jester, I suggest one of the ladies with you.
You both offer very compelling arguments on why to pick you. I guess I can prank you both.
First, Jack:
For Jordan, It's already done. I anticipated your noble sacrifice (either that or decided to pull a prank on you, anyway. I forget which). I see you have been polishing your armour and cleaning your clothes recently. So now would be a good time to mention that I put some translucency oil into both your armour polish and your soap.
All we need is a little rain and we'll get an... "insight" bonus on Knowledge (Anatomy) checks pertaining to you.
That one always works. Of course, you could do the sundance to counter it, but unlike the raindance, that one cannot be done with clothes on.
Calistria smiles upon me.
Oh, and Jo: ou might want to keep away from water, too. Or avoid sweating too much.
Oh, and Jo: ou might want to keep away from water, too. Or avoid sweating too much.
*shoots the jester a flustered glare as she covers herself with her arms* Why me!? I didn't even say anything!
Jordan, you really should know better than appeasing him...
First, Jack: Uses some psionic matter replacement thingy on Jack'n'Coke to turn him into Jack'n'Diet-Coke
Ahh, now I am desirable by the in crowd, run away
*runs away now that he has aspartame as a main ingredient
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well I had to options, appease him while trying to let you run... or let him choose randomly... which always means she chooses all of the above...
*covering herself as her clothes are translucent to the point that they look as glass and tranlucent silk* you know the irony Joanne? if I had wanted something similar to this it would have cost a fortune...
you know the irony Joanne? if I had wanted something similar to this it would have cost a fortune...
*her body just as exposed, she gives the transparent steel armor an apreciative look* Hmmm okay, perhaps by wearing something underneath.
*runs away now that he has aspartame as a main ingredient
Somehow I got a sudden urge for a soft drink...
*shoots the jester a flustered glare as she covers herself with her arms* Why me!? I didn't even say anything!
No reason.
Well, now that I see my handiwork, I can think of some reasons...
... mmm and yes i have a great love for diet coke... i see one running along... we should go and check on it :P
...Indeed... *with a wave of her hand, her magic dyes their clothes and armor back to decency* I -so- thank the goddess that for magic, you wouldn't believe how useful these little cantrips are.
Did you see the direction that diet coke ran off to?
I -so- thank the goddess that for magic
And I thank... well, myself really, for psionic true seeing. Continued translucency without the need to put some owlish funk cream on your eyes. Not only is the material component for the magic version expensive as heck, it really stinks. In fact, I hear some wizards are trying to increase the range of true seeing, because once they use it, the stink drives everyone away beyond 120 foot (and tips off sentinels and what not).
And I thank... well, myself really, for psionic true seeing.
*her face red with both annoyance and embarassment, she storms towards the jester, extending her arms as she displays herself openly for a full thirty seconds, even turning around to give him a full view* Okay, watch! Get it out of your system!
...
Was that enough? Good!
*Dispels the True Seeing, then goes away to look for JacknDietCoke*
Was that enough? Good!
But... I didn't say yes!
I recently took on painting. Would you like to pose for a painting?
But... I didn't say yes!
You just did.
I recently took on painting. Would you like to pose for a painting?
Perhaps if you converted yourself to Shellyn's faith, only then.
But... I didn't say yes!You just did.
I recently took on painting. Would you like to pose for a painting?Perhaps if you converted yourself to Shellyn's faith, only then.
If I lied about it, would you believe me?
If I lied about it, would you believe me?
If you lied about it, and I was foolish enough, perhaps. Not that you need any of us modelling, one would think you'd have our bodies memorized by now.
Stops, laboring for breath, Chaotic clowns and now two other fanatics. this place is dangerous. *Looks over shoulder* Ahhh, Not again, starts running away, again. All the while screaming, I am just empty calories still
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Stops, laboring for breath, Chaotic clowns and now two other fanatics. this place is dangerous. *Looks over shoulder* Ahhh, Not again, starts running away, again. All the while screaming, I am just empty calories still
*running pretty fast without effort behind the diet coke*
mmm ok I know I shouldn't use the blessings of Iomedae like this... but she would approve
*stops a moment, body in a theatrically exagerated racer pose before sprinting at an astonishing speed after JacknDietCoke*
And again, I love not being a cleric, my magic is my own.
If I lied about it, would you believe me?If you lied about it, and I was foolish enough, perhaps. Not that you need any of us modelling, one would think you'd have our bodies memorized by now.
Of course. One of the benefits of psionic powers is stuff like photographic memory.
I'm still one of those guys who just likes the actual thing more than the memory.
Plus, once you believe me I'm an artist, I might get you to believe a whole lot of things...
*stops a moment, body in a theatrically exagerated racer pose before sprinting at an astonishing speed after JacknDietCoke*
And again, I love not being a cleric, my magic is my own.
This running stuff looks interesting, though hardly efficient.
Those hacks who say the way is the goal are obviously drugged or otherwise confused.
But I can see the fun part. Your chest is moving very interestingly, and your breathing sounds great.
But I think you're doing it run. You get the best result if you run just fast enough to be able to keep talking.
Isn't it great to know the shortcut? Efficient.
Predictable? Me? I'd say it's you who's predictable, because I saw the mischief in your face and let a poor farmer take my place. I think his back went out because of you.
Too bad you have to abandon the chase to heal him. :)
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Predictable? Me? I'd say it's you who's predictable, because I saw the mischief in your face and let a poor farmer take my place. I think his back went out because of you.
Too bad you have to abandon the chase to heal him. :)
blessed BoXM... I healed him as I finished hiting him... and I had no mischief... is part of the training, you act not think when the needs come.
is part of the training, you act not think when the needs come.
Your clergy must have it easy, acting without thinking would have gotten me killed a dozen times over in Absalom.
its nice when you can do that
Yeah, but it costs you loads of money, and he could kill him for free.
I see what you're doing there, J-Man: Keep killing people until the church runs out of spells/money. Very Abadar of you :D
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Yeah, but it costs you loads of money, and he could kill him for free.
I see what you're doing there, J-Man: Keep killing people until the church runs out of spells/money. Very Abadar of you :D
spells... i don't worry "Gentle Reposes" give me a few more days...
money? its a problem? really? but there is this nice Thieve's guild... and I am sure they will DONATE to Iomedae after I have a few words with them... I can make them see sense... even without taking out my sowrd or being threatenign... I am that cute... and if they try to get... well agresive or stubbern... there is always hold person or Divine Power (3.0 edition) for such times...
next... of course is the assassin's guild...
I bet they kill Jarod before to long... just to take me from voer their shoulders...
money? its a problem? really? but there is this nice Thieve's guild... and I am sure they will DONATE to Iomedae after I have a few words with them
Or they backstab you and rob your corpse blind.
there is always hold person or Divine Power (3.0 edition) for such times...
Hold person. Not hold guild.
And I wouldn't try the Edition Game on the guys. They go WoW on you, create a bubble, and do something like 30KDMG. Each.
I bet they kill Jarod before to long... just to take me from voer their shoulders...
Or they kill you. The advantage in that situation is they have Jarod's help.
And they might persuade a certain protean individual to help them as well, for chaos's sake.
Come to think of it, those rogue/assassin types get the option of paralysing with their backstabs nowadays. I think I have to tell them that killing is too fast.
Not enough.... fun that way.
"If you don't consent to our proposition, just say so. Or make the thumbs down gesture. Nothing? Well, let's get this party started. Everybody form a line."
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Actually, the guildmasters just showed us a neat new trick. They have a really pompous name for it, as usual, but I shall call it "and stay down!"
Basically, when I kill something, it stays dead. Take that, Red Mantis Amateurs.
Observe:
So do your party ("sprinkling diamond dust to raise someone from the dead" is church euphemism for snorting coke if I ever heard one) and try your magic. See if it works this time.
By the way, I didn't kill that one just because. I was hired. His wive thinks he was unfaithful (I found out he wasn't, but didn't bother to tell her, I might have lost an assignment).
In mortis lucramus, as always.
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*decides for this time to go for the easy path and give the lictor of the order of the nail the address of the guild Jarod learned that shameful trick and gives them the list of crimes they commited... she waits outside making her nails and killing the stupid ones who though they could pass True Sight*
Iomedae be praised, Hellknighs are good to uphold the law, i give them that... and since they would have tried to kill or abuse me I suppose its not an evil act to let hell loose around them
*watches the hellknights leave, bathed in bad and offers Jarod's description* this one worked with them... and mocks justice.
*watches as they go, calling fiends and hunting for Jarod while she returns to her works, leaving her non-Lawful-Good Henchemen get the "guild's donnations"*