After such harsh comments and attacks made against my kind, I have decided to make a safe haven, an asylum, if you will, for my people. The pit is now open to all dretch who feel attacked and harrassed as a minority of the Paizo Avatar Group of Aliases -NonProfit- (PAGAN for short). Services include counseling, group conversations, PTSD help, and food. If you are a dretch in hiding, please come out and feel like a propermember of this wonderful community.
Oh wait... I forgot. I'm the only dretch known to man..
*cries silently*
WE have a place for you
The collective will welcome you
We will strip you of your flaws and give you order
Resistance is Futile
Oh god, you found me here too.
Why would the collective WANT a dretch, anyway? I thought they existed to be snacks for more powerful demons anyway, when they're not in use as footstools . . . .
The collective may have a need for a footstool
It shall be designated Species 641
You will adapt to serve us
Resistance is Futile
Lathiira wrote: Why would the collective WANT a dretch, anyway? I thought they existed to be snacks for more powerful demons anyway, when they're not in use as footstools . . . . SEE! THIS IS WHY I NEED MY VERY OWN DRETCH PIT!
I am not 641! I am a very powerful demon.
Primary Adjunct of paizomatix 0 wrote: The collective may have a need for a footstool If I were a legrest, it wouldn't be a footstool. Maybe a sofa of hands coming up from the ground*
*where have we seen that before?
Joey Lafyatis wrote: Primary Adjunct of paizomatix 0 wrote: The collective may have a need for a footstool If I were a legrest, it wouldn't be a footstool. Maybe a sofa of hands coming up from the ground*
*where have we seen that before? Everyone should have aspirations, and that's a good choice.
Here, let me cheer you up. Your lot in existence could be worse: you could be a manes. Or a nupperibo. Or a lemure.
We will give your piteous existence a purpose
We will strip you of your flaws
You will adapt to serve us
Resistance Is Futile
Lathiira wrote: Why would the collective WANT a dretch, anyway? I thought they existed to be snacks for more powerful demons anyway, when they're not in use as footstools . . . . There used to make castles also.
Everyone here to assimilate or insult me LEAVE!! This is an asylum for dretches. CALLING ALL DRETCHES! ASSEMBLE!
Ubermench wrote: Lathiira wrote: Why would the collective WANT a dretch, anyway? I thought they existed to be snacks for more powerful demons anyway, when they're not in use as footstools . . . . There used to make castles also. Forgot about that one.
Top Ten Reasons People Don't Like Dretchs
1) When they see somebody grilling, they run into their yard, grab the meat, throw it on the ground and stomp on it while yelling "pickle-juice!!!!!!" at the top of their lungs
2) They make a mess in every public bathroom they enter
3) They stand in public doorways telling people they don't feel like moving
4) They grease the monkey bars at all playgrounds
5) They follow random people all the way into their house and eat all their food
6) They wait in the bushes with a paintball gun and shoot people in suits as they’re heading to work
7) They brag to everyone about how you got the latest version of AOL for free in the mail
8) They tell people they f&$^#d there mom and/or dad
9) They lick doorknobs right before people can leave the room
10) They ask people the same questions over and over
I'm with you, buddy (although I thought I was an ettercap). See, you're not alone.
Pffft! there, I released a stinking cloud to keep away the "collective". maybe now you can get some peace and quiet.
You guys do know that Tenser was a dretch for while, right? Tuerny, too. We are an illustrious brotherhood. pffft! Sorry that one was an accident.
underling wrote: I'm with you, buddy (although I thought I was an ettercap). See, you're not alone.
Pffft! there, I released a stinking cloud to keep away the "collective". maybe now you can get some peace and quiet.
You guys do know that Tenser was a dretch for while, right? Tuerny, too. We are an illustrious brotherhood. pffft! Sorry that one was an accident.
*Cough* *Cough* *Enters the thread and leaves just as fast*
underling wrote: I'm with you, buddy (although I thought I was an ettercap). See, you're not alone.
*mimicing Larry the Cable Guy* I was so hungry I ett her cap.
JOEY AND UNDERLING ARE TEH BEST!!!!
Do you know of any other type of our kind?
NOTE: If you are a lurker, with a dretch avatar, reading this message, step forward!!!
The collective still has a spot for you
Im not sure if thats good or bad.
Upgrade for the dretch, downgrade for the collective. Maybe they should work on some other portion of the planes for a little while?
The collective will strip away there flaws
While true that leaves us very little to work with
The collective has taken that into account
Matix is like death, he'll take anyone.
we can find a use for everyone
Have a " Assimilation: Bringing a propose to your flawed existence" Bumper sticker
Primary Adjunct of paizomatix 0 wrote: we can find a use for everyone
Have a " Assimilation: Bringing a propose to your flawed existence" Bumper sticker
Assimilate this!!! ~fires a LAW rocket at the borg drone~
Check your backblast area, doofus!
Species 794 that technology was assimilated along with your species
It is Irrelevant at this time
Resistance was Futile
*shuffles into the room* I was told there'd be free hats?
A Dretch Named Ted wrote: *shuffles into the room* I was told there'd be free hats? As a member of the collective you will be given a hat
The collective head armor is created though the use of Crystalline /metallic alloy not tinfoil
Will the hat protect me from mind-flayers and government mind control beams?
The head armor will not
However as a member of the collective you will become immune to outside mindcontrol
Wow. That's like, totally not a comfort.
You will get the benefit of immortality
Also as a drone you will be part of biological and technological culture exchange
It's tempting, but my contract with Orcus isn't up for another 10,000 years.
Contracts are Irrelevant
We have way of working around such things
Orcus would so pwn the borg.
Even demon lords have limits
And when did demon lords start using contracts
Joey Lafyatis wrote: Oh wait... I forgot. I'm the only dretch known to man..
*cries silently*
Why are you purple? Do you suffer from poor blood circulation or are you just holding your breath?
Btw, welcome to the club Teddy my friend. That makes three legit members! WOOT!
we have a place for all of you
Resistance Is Futile
Joey Lafyatis wrote: Both. Why? I'm concerned for your well being. The purple skin, holding your breath, poor circulation, not to mention those bulging bloodshot eyes. I think we should have an intervention for you and impose medical assistance. Really, its for your own good. I'm mean, if your the only one of your kind left (or the last of a few) then you should be put on the endangered species list. I think we should lock you up for your own protection. If your lucky we can find a suitable mate. If not, well, perhaps we will disect you once you kick the bucket. Really, I'm just concerned for your well being.
I wonder if we can start selling sauteed Dretch in the restraunts?
EileenProphetofIstus wrote: Joey Lafyatis wrote: Both. Why? I'm concerned for your well being. The purple skin, holding your breath, poor circulation, not to mention those bulging bloodshot eyes. I think we should have an intervention for you and impose medical assistance. Really, its for your own good. I'm mean, if your the only one of your kind left (or the last of a few) then you should be put on the endangered species list. I think we should lock you up for your own protection. If your lucky we can find a suitable mate. If not, well, perhaps we will disect you once you kick the bucket. Really, I'm just concerned for your well being.
I wonder if we can start selling sauteed Dretch in the restraunts? People will eat allmost any thing, just have the dretch's build the restraunt before you cook them and the diners will come.
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