It's tempting, but my contract with Orcus isn't up for another 10,000 years.
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Will the hat protect me from mind-flayers and government mind control beams?
*pulls out a stack of papers* Did you guys get the memo? My boss, Mr. T. Orcus, CEN (Chief Executive Necromancer) of Abyssal Personnel, Corp., just bought majority shares in all the funeral homes of Texas. I'm here to offer you undead servants at a fraction of the cost you'd find at our major competitors (blasted Nerull Reanimators, Ltd.!!!). Like, take this ghoul for example... *yanks a leash, dragging a ghoul away from the body it was eating*. He's a skilled cook, and GREAT with kids! 9/10 parents agree that everyone should have a ghoul in their house! Now, if I could just get you to sign on the dotted line here. *holds out papers and a quill*
*shuffles into the room* I was told there'd be free hats? |