Thanks for the input and support Connor. I'm actually very anxious for voting to close so I can discuss the entry in more detail...if anyone is even up for that by then.
Chad
Just wanted to spread this comment about - a great job on all these entries to all the competitors. Many have be inspiring and interesting to read.
I have been reading these out of order, and this entry was the 5th one I read. I apologize if I repeat what has been mentioned.
Like some others, the barbarian-tribal feel I got was a mixture of medieval Mongol culture and Gypsy mysticism. It's an interesting combination, and I like the picture you paint of the place, culture, names and general details. The NPC details are also interesting.
I also found that the free-slave republic was a nice contrast, with some more work to flesh it out I think.
That being said, the name of place wasn't very appealing - it almost reminded me of the generic names that TSR used in its 1st edition stuff. While the place certainly is interesting, I think the biggest issue was finding something that would make it appealing to venture in. It's almost too self-contained; it reads like a travel guide.
There are some places that evoke a certain quality for a campaign or game world. Generally, it falls as:
a) Some place your players/PCs GO TO - for adventure, quests, missions, etc
b) Some place your players/PCs are FROM - this is their home and can be used as the basis for their background
c) Some place your players/PCs want TO STAY IN - they can adventure there; live in that society; and generally the game can be based there long term.
In this case, it's definetly (a) in terms of what it might be used for - but without more hooks that's hard. It could possibly be (b), either as either a barbarian or maybe as a valley character, with more details.
Interesting stuff, but compared to some entries, its unlikely to be in my top 5.
Alex,
Thanks for the very well-thought out critique.
Chad
You have unfailingly replied politely to every comment by every poster on both threads. Your honesty and manners are beautiful.
Taliesin,
Thanks for noticing. I'm sure that I've failed to respond directly to a few comments, and it's much easier to respond politely to those comments that hide a even small nugget of praise amongst the criticism. That said, I strive to behave in this fashion in real life as much as online. I believe its one of the keys to building successful relationships in business (and life for that matter).
Chad