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There's a new article showing up on the Dragon tab on the WotC site, and I just spent a full 10 minutes reading it, despite the blasted pinkish title that gave me the creeps.
http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/drcw/20071010
Well, English is not my primary language (I'm from Italy), but thanks to my long-standing hobby I have a good enough grasp of it - as a reader, at least; writing something with sense and fluency is a different matter.
But again, it made no sense to me at all.
Please someone cares to explain what this... thing... should mean? Because the only thing that comes up right now is a baffled "and so?".
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Better yet, since you'd have to sign in to read it, here is the transcript...although I warn you, it might cause your brain to melt and leak from your ears.
How Shelly Got Her Game Back
by Shelly MazzanobleI got lucky in 5th grade. No, not that kind of lucky -- it was 5th grade! I got lucky in the teacher lottery the day I found out I was in Mrs. Dancy's class. Everyone loved Mrs. Dancy, especially kids who were not lucky enough to be in her class. Mrs. Dancy could teach math like no one's business. She made a game out of learning our multiplication tables by using flash cards and pitting classmate against classmate to see who could answer fastest. And she was always up for a round of Mum Ball -- the game where you sat on your desk, beamed a big, red kickball at one another while keeping your trap shut. I get it now. This was a ploy to have some peace and quiet for the teacher, but to us it was a blatant show of adoration. Mrs. Dancy loved us, and we loved her.
Sometime before Christmas we got terrible news. Ms. Troy, our principal, came to class, which was terrifying in itself. She had severe black hair and red lips and went so far as to paint a mole on her upper lip. Very Madonna, even before Madonna (and yes, some of us grew up in a time when there was no Madonna! Can you imagine?)
Anyway, on this fateful date, Ms. Troy came to tell us Mrs. Dancy was not going to be our teacher anymore. As of tomorrow. Tomorrow? There wasn't time to learn short division, let alone process in our nine year-old heads why we were being abandoned. Mrs. Dancy sat behind her desk, nodding along with Ms. Troy's words. Was she upset? Did she want to leave? Would there be a party?
I don't know. Maybe she was fired. Or clinically insane. Maybe she won the lottery and couldn't wait to ditch our sorry butts to live the high life in Belize. It didn't matter. We promptly burst out crying.
Mrs. Dancy had just taught me Life Lesson #1: Things change. (Or as I now call it, Nothing Gold Can Stay, after learning the same lesson about a year later from Robert Frost by way of Ponyboy Curtis in The Outsiders.)
I continued to cry the whole way home. Past the little shop my friend pilfered Bazooka gum from, through the shortcut I was usually too paranoid to take, into my front door, past my mom, and under the covers of my pink canopy bed. Mom was baffled. Did dating disasters happen to 5th graders?
I could barely get the words out.
"We were supposed to make the longest construction paper chain in school history!"
"Mrs. Dancy drew names from a hat for kickball so nobody felt last picked."
"I was supposed to turn ten in her class! I already picked out my outfit!"
Mom wasn't nearly as devastated. In fact, she burst out laughing, which made me cry harder. Not only was I losing my beloved multiplication table sensei, my mother was a block of ice. I'd never make it to 6th grade with this kind of nurturing.
Life Lesson #2: Build a bridge and get over it. (Thanks, Mom.)
Mrs. Dancy didn't run off to Belize. She ran off to the mall, where I bumped into her around Christmas. She seemed happy, if not a bit burdened under the weight of her shopping bags. She asked how I was doing, was I looking forward to the holidays, and how was school? School? The nerve! Never have I felt so betrayed. And she was wearing jeans!
A couple months later I turned ten in Mr. Mohan's class. My birthday fell on the same day we had to take the dreaded Standard Aptitude Test -- a test to determine if we were even worthy of being tested. In an effort to untaint the day, Mr. Mohan declared it Dress-Up Day.
This was his attempt to teach Life Lesson #3: Look your best on the outside, and you will protect your inside.
I wore an emerald green mini-skirt with purple leg warmers. Mage armor for the 5th-grade soul. Mom brought in a sheet pizza and two mortifying cartons of orange juice when all the cool kids were drinking soda. Mr. Mohan said he loved orange juice. We played Mum Ball every day at 2:00. I got an A in math.
And then, over two decades since Mrs. Dancy abandoned me, I lost another primary figure in my life -- my first and only Dungeon Master. It still stings.
It was Teddy who taught me how to roll up a character and fire a magic missile. He was genuinely proud when I leveled and took great pride watching me flip through the Player's Handbook and choose my new spells. Without Teddy we were just minis on Formica. We were unemployed adventurers, trust fund slackers, with nothing better to do than spend our gold pieces at the local ale house and reminisce about the good old days when pain-in-the-ass Lady Elaydren would send for us after finding herself in another "uh oh" situation.
We missed Teddy but we were itching to play. We'd see one another and stick out our bottom lips and whisper, "I miss D&D." We'd be in meetings together and commiserate because it was Monday at 3:30 and we knew where we should be. We'd lapse into remember when's while waiting for a fresh pot of coffee in the kitchen. Remember when that giant gorilla ambushed us in the ziggurat? Ah, to swing a bastard sword again. And although it felt like a betrayal to Teddy's memory, we had no choice. We put the call out for a new Dungeon Master.
7 unruly, unfocused PCs ISO of Dungeon Master. Must be willing to answer a lot of questions varying from, "Where are we again?" to "Who was your favorite cast member from The Outsiders?" Must be into sound effects and won't get ruffled when we kill your NPCs for sport. Super crunchy autocrats need not apply.
Do DMs exist in a secret society? Is there a support group? Do they have a covert hangout like the clubs in airports for super premier airline members? Perhaps our reputation preceded us because the offers weren't exactly rolling in. I pictured Teddy gathered among his fellow peers, nibbling on cashews and sipping miniature bottles of Pepsi while lamenting how he came up with three brilliant encounters only to have us get stalled over the decision to kick down the secret door or keep walking. Maybe Teddy was happy to be rid of us and did what so many of our parents only threatened -- pull the car over and leave us on the side of a dirt road. I was supposed to get to 10th level in his game!
Life Lesson #4: Don't take things for granted. (Even a D&D game when you work at Wizards of the Coast.)
About a month ago word came back there was interest. We were thrilled but skeptical. Who was this guy? Did he have experience? Did he know about us? Does he know who Ponyboy and Sodapop are? He did. In fact, our new prospect was, dare I say, excited about our group. And he was no slouch in the DMing department. Not only was he experienced, he studied under the dry erase marker of Mr. Super-DM-himself, Chris Perkins. Were we worthy? Was this some kind of final exam for a Dungeon Protégé? Before he can earn his stripes as true master he must make us focus. Make us finish three encounters per session. Rough us up a little. Make us call him Master.
I didn't care why he was doing it. I was just glad to be playing again. But I have to admit I was nervous. Teddy understood me. He was even sort of charmed by how much I loved Astrid. And although he didn't favor her, he didn't exactly go after her in a dark alley with an axe. What if this new DM was different? No! I don't want to be roughed up!
But I know this guy. He's nice. He has dimples and two sweet dogs. He likes to cook and uses Aveda hair products. Could someone who smells like rosemary and mint be that vindictive? Well, if you think someone who runs around the building in all his perfumed and dimpled glory, shouting, "YOU'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!" and then writes things on his blog like "I can't wait to slaughter the little piggies! TPK here I come!" (or something to that effect -- I may be paraphrasing) is vindictive, then yes, it's possible.
Then one day he snuck up on me in the parking lot and warned me "not to get too attached to my new character."
"Why?" I asked. (I've got -8 in Streetwise, okay?)
"Because she's going to die."
Oh!
Teddy never said my character was going to die…
Despite New Dungeon Master's bullying, we were still excited to play. Now when I saw various members of my group we'd announce in salutation, "We're playing D&D again!" I even took myself shopping for new supplies -- mechanical pencils, erasers that smelled like the fruit they were shaped like. I had yet to roll the new set of dice I got at Gen Con. I even bought a new notebook figuring I might wind up in therapy from all these dead characters, and it might be helpful to pinpoint where all my issues began.
The air was scented with fresh herbs and dry erase markers when I entered. New DM was busy writing notes on the board. He has nice handwriting, I notice, but no! This man wants to kill my character! I won't be fooled by pretty hair and nice penmanship!
When the rest of the group showed up, New DM welcomed us (ha!), tells us he's excited to be playtesting with us (ha!), and wants us to know this is serious business and we should all treat it as such (huh?) This is not so much a game as work. Our opinions are important and we should be vigilant and articulate with our feedback. Scott pretends to stick a pencil in his eye. Adam begins taking notes. Marty mouths, "this sucks," and I fire off a magic missile. We're all on the verge of suddenly remembering a meeting we're late for, when New DM blares, "Just kidding! I made brownies!" and shoves a 9x13 nonstick pan of gooey goodness onto the battle grid. Homemade brownies?
Two hours with New DM flies by. We're high on sugar and marshmallow, and already planning the food fest for next Tuesday. Be gone Kashi and snap peas! You're no longer welcome here! New DM lets us refer to the "bad guys" as frat boys. He made faces to illustrate the drake's slow, painful death. He did sound effects for a mace hitting a shield (schwiiiiiiing!) And much to New DM's dismay, no one died. Good thing, because I already love my new temporary character. This may be the 4th edition of D&D, but it's the second edition of Shelly, because something weird was going on. My Dungeon Master is gunning for my whole party and yet I don't feel the need to take my mini and run of the playmat. I want to keep playing if for no other reason than to spite New DM. Hear that, New DM? Talk to the burning hands!
I ran into New DM in the stairwell a few days ago.
"Your character is going to bite it," he promised.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I said. "You're all talk." Hey wait. Who said that? Who is this mysterious, trash-talking, slapdash roleplayer?
New DM laughed. "You're not supposed to get attached to your character. It's a playtest, you know."
"But I like Tara," I said. "I don't want her to die."
"Too bad," New DM answered. "She's going bye-bye."
And then like a charging orc, it hit me. New DM's faux antagonizing is part of what's making this fun. He's giving us a reason to invest in our characters, to strategize in battle, to keep coming back. He's giving us a villain -- himself -- sacrificing his cute dimples to give us something to hate. He doesn't want to kill us. He wants to keep us.
But still, I want my character to make it. "If Tara survives one more game, will you make us more brownies?"
New DM stopped mid-step and pondered this. "Okay," he finally said.
Life Lesson #879: That which does not kill you makes you brownies.
Now I just need to plan my outfit. In case Mr. Mohan was right about Life Lesson #3, Tuesdays are officially Dress-Up Day.
I didn't click the spoiler. Is this the kind of thing that would make me froth at the mouth?
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I didn't click the spoiler. Is this the kind of thing that would make me froth at the mouth?
Nah, not really.
Mostly just an attempt at a Wil Wheaton-esque article... 1 part folksy nostalgia, 1 part pop-culture, 1 part precious childhood innocence. Blend and toss against the wall.
The tone re-enforces the whole "you doubters just don't get the whole picture yet, but it's good for you in the long run" party line.
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Bella Sara Charter Superscriber
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I didn't click the spoiler. Is this the kind of thing that would make me froth at the mouth?
Unlikely. It's harmless, and, as the OP said, will make you say "and this has what to do with the price of tea in China..." The most that can be said, negative or positive, is that it is filler.
It's like Wil Save, but written by a woman, 5 times as long, and without the creepy drawings of Wil.
Edit: Damnit Gavgoyle, you beat me to the Wil Save comparison!
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i get the feeling the "life lessons" are aimed at those who are afraid of the new edition and the morale of the story is that if we just accept it we will all have brownies in the end.
Either that or somebody thought the new Dragon needed a little lighthearted, gossipy "girl" talk. Maybe they are trying to aim for the huge crowd of young women who were brought to the game through the author's book...
...which I did think of buying for my wife. She appreciates this sort of thing more than I.
Unlikely. It's harmless, and, as the OP said, will make you say "and this has what to do with the price of tea in China..." The most that can be said, negative or positive, is that it is filler.
It's like Wil Save, but written by a woman, 5 times as long, and without the creepy drawings of Wil.
And you have slog through half of the article before gaming is even mentioned, and then only peripherally. I'm still not sure what the point of this piece was.
This article joins the ranks of Ecology of the Death Knight in the category of "mediocre tripe that wasn't worth the time it took me to read."
Wil Save was never that bad... Grrr. What a waste of paper... oh... ummm no... what a waste of my time.
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Bella Sara Charter Superscriber
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Was anyone else hoping the pay off would be "and Mrs. Dancey's husband was Ryan Dancey, and he kicks all sorts of ass and taught me everything I needed to know about gaming" and then go into a cogent, well-written analysis like Ryan used to do?
Maybe I'm the only Dancey fanboy...
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Wil Save was never that bad... Grrr. What a waste of paper... oh... ummm no... what a waste of my time.
The more I think about it, the more I think that you (and I) are perhaps not the target audience for this piece. As I said, I could see my wife enjoying it as a read.
The thing is... somehow I wonder if the target audience is the sort that would bother reading Dragon (whether online or not) in the first place. Over the years my wife has come to look forward to playing (it was a hard slog at times on my part) but she can't be bothered to read any of the material.
So.... kind of stream of consciousness... but in a bad way. It has to be the most difficult to read article ever (said the English Lit graduate)
Honestly, I thought that it was mildly amusing. Let's face facts: as gamers, we're all pretty bright (when awake, properly caffeinated, and whatnot). When we want to be, we can be quite eloquent (e.g. Sebastian). We're not exactly what people have in mind when they think of "normal" people. So this little piece, with its sub-par (for want of a better term) writing, was more like the work of a "normal" person, complete with personal idiosyncracies (however that's spelled). Taken in that light, it was a piece best served up to people less familiar with the game, I think. Most of us that have responded so far aren't the target audience, IMHO.
All that said, I don't think this is something I want to see in my Dragon. I had no problems with Wil's articles, but I admit I can only tolerate so much that fluff in my Dragon. I come to Dragon for crunch and the occasional piece of metagame fluff, if you will. While the writing did make me smile, all it'll take is one too many comments that come across as too girly to get me annoyed. If she sounds like a stereotypical teenaged girl at any time, I'm going to probably projectile vomit at my monitor. In the meantime, meh? Why not?
It was like a lifestyle column in YM magazine for girly gamers (Man how would I know that). The color scheme is diffently aimed at teeney bobber little girls.
I think it was an attempt to ease are minds about the changes into 4 ed. Change is one of those lessons in life. Change makes us sad and Nostalgic. But with out Change there are no new excitements in life. If this is what is going to be the content of Dragon Magazine, Kim Mohan should be fired. What happen to you Kim, you used to be the man?
. What happen to you Kim, you used to be the man?
It's not Kim's fault. He was just a guest speaker. Granted, that was really really really bad. But it ain't Kim Mohan's fault.
Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 6
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Was anyone else hoping the pay off would be "and Mrs. Dancey's husband was Ryan Dancey, and he kicks all sorts of ass and taught me everything I needed to know about gaming" and then go into a cogent, well-written analysis like Ryan used to do?
Maybe I'm the only Dancey fanboy...
I read his blog. Don't often agree with him, but I usually find what he says to have value.
. What happen to you Kim, you used to be the man?It's not Kim's fault. He was just a guest speaker. Granted, that was really really really bad. But it ain't Kim Mohan's fault.
whoooh!!!
Who ever is supposed to be the editor over thier is doing a terrible job. Let's hope they get better or a new editor.
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I was actually going to log into the WotC messageboards just so I could criticize this piece of touchy-feely, let's get in touch with our inner selves, garbage. Fortunately, WotC seems to have done something to the log in, and now it goes through that horrible green Gleemax crap.
Perhaps I should thank them, although I really did want to try my hand at making that Shelly person cry. Does that make me a bad person?
Hrm... a shame, since I rather enjoyed the Confessions of a Part-Time Sorceress semi-book. While the style of writing seems to be by the same person, the only reason I can see for the "full-time 'wizard' " article was to try and cash-in on the book itself. The FTW article strikes me as little more than that.
I was actually going to log into the WotC messageboards just so I could criticize this piece of touchy-feely, let's get in touch with our inner selves, garbage. Fortunately, WotC seems to have done something to the log in, and now it goes through that horrible green Gleemax crap.
I want to post an explanation of why I think the confessions article is crap, too, but I can't figure out what's going on on the threads over there; it's like being in a maze with strobelights during a serious LSD rush.
Does a DnD Insider really need to sign up for Gleemax to post?
So.... kind of stream of consciousness... but in a bad way. It has to be the most difficult to read article ever (said the English Lit graduate)
You're not the only lit grad perplexed by that rambling nonsense, my friend.
I just realized that I am SO relieved that WotC didn't pull the license and start PRINTING Dungeon and Dragon on paper themselves, because if anyone actually killed trees to write the drivel I'm reading I'd have a frickin conniption. At worst this is just a waste of a little electricity and a pittance of memory.
Whew. I suddenly feel like a huge weight is lifted. Thanks Shelly, the gaming world looks a lot brighter today.
By the way, I figured out how to reply to the articles on the WotC boards.... Doh! Sorry to tie up things around here.
Move along, nothing to see.
*shrugs*
different strokes, and all that
Move along, nothing to see.This isn't the D&D you're looking for.
No, not in the least. God, I miss Ryan Dancey too. That man had brains, superb analytical skills, and vision.
Okay, so comparing it to previous Dragon articles is probably not the thing to do but, honestly, why so tough on the girl? It's decently written. It's about gaming (eventually). It's written by a girl/normal person. Nothing wrong with any of that.
Most importantly: you're not paying for it yet. I'm sure they're just testing the eDragon waters. If I paid for this and three more just like it for a month's subscription *then* I'd be b!&&@in'.
Christ. Not everything has to be crunch or game fluff to be worth reading. I sort of remember a Wil Save that talked about a magical swizzle stick - the only real ref to gaming in the story.
M
Very unimpressed and underwhelmed...
Okay, so comparing it to previous Dragon articles is probably not the thing to do but, honestly, why so tough on the girl? It's decently written. It's about gaming (eventually). It's written by a girl/normal person. Nothing wrong with any of that.
Most importantly: you're not paying for it yet. I'm sure they're just testing the eDragon waters. If I paid for this and three more just like it for a month's subscription *then* I'd be b!!&~in'.
Christ. Not everything has to be crunch or game fluff to be worth reading. I sort of remember a Wil Save that talked about a magical swizzle stick - the only real ref to gaming in the story.
M
As already argued on other posts on Paizo: just because something is free doesn't mean I can't rip at it.
At least Wil came to the point fairly quickly. The problem with Shelly's confessions article is that is uses far more space than is necessary to achieve her effect.
Does it appeal to the main demographic and is it necessary to write for 20-45 year old men? No to both. But I read things not aimed at my demographic every day, like feminist poetry, because it is my job. Some of it is really amazing. I still didn't like her article--it just lost me.
I'm not an idiot, plus I have curiosity on my side, so I tried to look at her website, but alas is isn't responding. I did find a humor piece about meeting men that she pulled off really well, however.
So I am giving her a break. There's nothing wrong with her as a writer, but who let that article out right now? Who likes it? I don't see any replies at Wizards saying, "gee, I really liked that article by Shelly!" If you find one let me know.
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Maybe it was an okay read for some but if you think it through even a little you'll see it as just ANOTHER insult -- a true "F-You," this time, from WotC to its customers.
...The Perfect teacher, Mrs. Dancey -- best edition ever -- is all the sudden and without explanation, FIRED. Analogy, anyone?
So the student learns a couple of lessons, one of which is to "build bridges" and accept change. You're not insulted that WotC is comparing itself to the uninterested Mom who LAUGHS at the student's sadness at the loss?!
Oh, and the new teacher is acting like a classless jerk, "I'm gonna kill your PC; better not get attached*..." but it's alright, you're gonna have fun even if your gaming style is different; um, I mean, even if you like a different kind of "teacher."
What, still not insulted?!
How 'bout this, the new teacher's giving us brownies! Okay WotC, where the F! are the brownies you promised 'cuz the crap you've put out so far is illusionary.
*5E forshadowing?...
-W. E. Ray
...The Perfect teacher, Mrs. Dancey -- best edition ever -- is all the sudden and without explanation, FIRED. Analogy, anyone?So the student learns a couple of lessons, one of which is to "build bridges" and accept change. You're not insulted that WotC is comparing itself to the uninterested Mom who LAUGHS at the student's sadness at the loss?!
Oh, and the new teacher is acting like a classless jerk, "I'm gonna kill your PC; better not get attached*..." but it's alright, you're gonna have fun even if your gaming style is different; um, I mean, even if you like a different kind of "teacher."
It's interesting that her work has potential as an excellent satire, but it just doesn't have the honed edge I need to see something as a satire.
Honestly, I'm not saying it was a great article or not, but its not meant to be a preview of 4th edition, or a news item, its meant to be an entertaining fluff piece. As much as I'm not thrilled with WOTC right now, I think we're kind of falling into a feeding frenzy here.
Unfortunatly people are treating everything like chum.
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Whoops!
I didn't mean to criticize the article "per se" (well, it's bad, but I think it's more a matter of personal tastes) but I feared that it had some implied social/cultural nuances that were lost to me.
It seems not.
Wil Save was way better, even though on the same subjects. This one, being aimed at a very specific market target does not catch me in the least, sorry.
Next time I'll trust my gut instinct and skip that pinkish title thing.
This isn't the D&D you're looking for.
No, it's not.
Honestly, I'm not saying it was a great article or not, but its not meant to be a preview of 4th edition, or a news item, its meant to be an entertaining fluff piece. As much as I'm not thrilled with WOTC right now, I think we're kind of falling into a feeding frenzy here.
It was meant to be entertaining, but it's not. Exactly. That's all anyone is saying. Were you entertained? Responding to it has been more entertaining than reading it, frankly.
And I really don't see any frenzy. A few guys saying "weak" and a couple of others saying "blah" or "who cares"? Now the response to Mohan, that was an awesome frenzy.
I think we are all frenzied out.
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Okay, so comparing it to previous Dragon articles is probably not the thing to do but, honestly, why so tough on the girl?
Because (a) All that pink, flowery crap in the heading on the WotC made me feel like I had stumbled into the Website for YM.
(b) My grandmother could, in my humble opinion, write better, and she's been dead for 10 years.
(c) As someone else mentioned above, I found the 4E life analogies to be insulting. Just like some of the other crap the WotC has put out, this article reeks of the whole "4E will be great, and anyone who thinks otherwise is an ignorant lout" attitude.
Again, I think WotC is trying to appeal to a broader consumer base. However, with at least one notable exception who just happens to be on the payroll, they have no idea how.
My character is going to die? Really? And this makes me want to emotionally invest? I would be searching for a new DM faster than you can spell TPK.
I thought the point was that I was suppose to relate to the author. This article makes me think she needs some therapy for her obvious co-dependency issues.
Yes, although it will be more subtlely titled, "New Revenue Base"
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I just read the article. A little bit "Wonder Years" for my taste. I guess the writing is okay, but I just don't understand what it has to do with D&D or who the target audience is supposed to be. It's not me, that's for sure.
On the plus side, I heartily approve of brownies! Any article that portrays chocolatey baked goods in a positive light has my approval. Maybe the next one will feature a cake or some other sugary treat, that way I won't notice the utter lack of D&D related content.
Damn! Now I want brownies!
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You know what hurts the most in all of this? It isn't the bashing of older players, the lack of information (somewhat understandable), the syrupy "Candy Mountain" article they just posted... It's the fact that I am playing in a Runelords game and have vowed to my DM that I would not crack open my pristine Pathfinders. High quality content is literally sitting an arm's reach away and I can't read it.
It is the worst form of torture. I think I am beginning to understand WotC's "Points of Light" concept, but perhaps not in the way they intended. Paizo has become that remote point of civilization in a wilderness of literary tripe.
I don't see what all the fuss is about. It is just an article. If you don't care for it, just pass it by. Reading through all the people here trying to make some kind of real meaning out of is jut too funny.
Besides, this article is more along the lines of a diary entry that is similar to ones in the Confessions from a part-time Sorceress book. Nothing to do with 4E and such, simple as that. (and yes, I've read the Sorceress book - and wish I had the book last year when I tried to get my niece into gaming...)
end-of-line
Maybe it was an okay read for some but if you think it through even a little you'll see it as just ANOTHER insult -- a true "F-You," this time, from WotC to its customers.
Or you might just be reading a little too much into a fun little article?
On the plus side, I heartily approve of brownies!
So...? A recipe every month?
I don't see what all the fuss is about.
I do not see what all your fuss is all about.
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Or you might just be reading a little too much into a fun little article?Maybe it was an okay read for some but if you think it through even a little you'll see it as just ANOTHER insult -- a true "F-You," this time, from WotC to its customers.
So, you're saying that quotes like....
Life Lesson #1 Things Change
and...
Life Lesson #2 Build a bridge and get over it.
...are in no way directed at gamers who put forth criticism of the 4E plans and declare they would rather stick with 3.5E. Wow, thanks. I feel so much better.