Wenches also are proficent with household items as weapons. That'll teach ya never to mess with a girl who owns a cast iron skillet. >:D
I have three. :D I also has proficiency in Thrown Weapons, with bonuses to Cleaver. I can also Distract with bottles of homebrew. ;)
Wenches also are proficent with household items as weapons. That'll teach ya never to mess with a girl who owns a cast iron skillet. >:DI have three. :D I also has proficiency in Thrown Weapons, with bonuses to Cleaver. I can also Distract with bottles of homebrew. ;)
I prefer stainless steel. They have smaller dents after hitting my head, and you can still cook with 'em.
Contributor
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Amai,
I don't know how to say this, so I just will: I think you're really special. I know that sounds ridiculous what with us never meeting and all, and me with a wedding in the works, but, uh, I'd really like to get to know you better. Your profile seems like just the kind of girl I'm really looking for to share my life with. Does that Mark of Making go past your neckline? How far?...
What the!? MIKE! You f##!! I hate you!...you broke my heart, humiliated me and destroyed my marriage before it was even christened. I'll never forget this, or forgive it!!!
Nick, I... I don't know what to say. I never meant for my little joke to cause you pain or to put an irreparable wound in our relationship. I... I... what can I do to regain your friendship and trust?
Here, as a token of my good will, have a TMNT figure. In fact, have three.
;)
Maybe it's a commentary darning us to heck for our depictions of hotties (and for our descriptions of such depictions as "hotties") and our lack of depictions of studmuffins.
Fine! Just depict me and be done with it.
Hem hem
older single, not-white, non-smoker, gamer, surfer dude. Enjoys slaying dragons and ogres, spell casting (arcane), long walks into dark dangerious places with +5 holyavenger great sword of vorpral wounding and sex.
Sensible female minmaxer doesn't have sex...that's the fastest way to get killed in a slasher movie (while the nice girl survives the almost-TPK...as does Red Sonja).
And pregnancy screws up the stats.
Here, as a token of my good will, have a TMNT figure. In fact, have three.
::Dreamweaver plays in the background!::
Who am I kidding!!! I could never be mad at you Mike...You had me at TMNT!
Oh sure, NOW you come up with the gamers dating service. Just when the old Aberzombie is 17 days away from getting enslav..I mean married. Bastards!
Congratulations!!!
I'm not far off that myself! I get hitched May 19th!
Are you single and looking?
Please post your 'Singles Add' and perhaps you may find love! You may only be one post away from your soul mate.
(Listings should include: Age, Sex, Sexual preference, Physical description, Location, Interests, Dreams, Salary requirements, Class, Special Abilities, etc.)
hehe, I am semi single; meaning very separated and very alone since last July (see rants) and without much hope of getting back together, but we are both pretty timid of the court system and what might happen in a divorce. Sigh, will post again if I get unencumbered, but I pray for the best for all of you.
I am curious about the listing data; is it about the poster or what the poster is looking for more or less, I guess it was the salary requirements that through me, I wouldnt care if my prespective significant other worked or not as long as we were happy and she wasnt boored and just watching tv all day.
Wait. I am? This is news to me! :\Psst. Nick! Over here. I hear Mike's going to GenCon.
GGG
Dude we all sat around the computer and voted. You can't mess with democracy (unless you work for Diebold of course).
;)GGG
(joke="insert")
*high-pitched sounds of sobbing*
That looks EXACTLY like I was going to post... Then MY WIFE saw the thread... And what I was typing... And she got my machete... *removes straight jacket*
We feel much better now. Uh-huh. Yep. All better.
(/joke)Really this is pretty funny. I'm enjoying everyone's sense of humor. And the honesty in the humor... Slay dragons, cast spells, sex. Simple formula, and I really really wish that worked. Now I gotta learn me some spells & find me a dragon to slay. It really is too bad I'm not single (not really a grand catch here, but I game, w00t!).
My ad would have looked something like:
Age: 26
Sex: Yep. Daily if possible.
Orientation: I likes me wenches. (insert random sound of me being beaten)
Looking for: Generally meaningless relationship. No nagging, biting (okay, well some biting), kicking (ever), or screaming (generally it's someone else's name anyways), and I must definitely have lots of time for gaming.Boy I'm glad I'm married & my wife has a sense of humor (okay honey, put down the machete...)
/d
You forgot to mention that you like a long, lush, mane, a healthy coat, and four legs aren't an impediment to long, and that you like long rides through the forest and you don't mind shooeing flys away from the right woman's behind . . .
Wait, this was your ad, not Grim's . . .
::Dreamweaver plays in the background!::
Who am I kidding!!! I could never be mad at you Mike...You had me at TMNT!
Yay! :D
Wait... isn't there a Tom Cruise movie with that line in it? Hmm... :\
SHOW ME THE TURTLES!!
Oh...oh dang..wait, no, not..OH GOD MY EYES!!! (sob!) Why must everything be a double entrendre?!
(joke="insert")
*high-pitched sounds of sobbing*
That looks EXACTLY like I was going to post... Then MY WIFE saw the thread... And what I was typing... And she got my machete... *removes straight jacket*
We feel much better now. Uh-huh. Yep. All better.
(/joke)Really this is pretty funny. I'm enjoying everyone's sense of humor. And the honesty in the humor... Slay dragons, cast spells, sex. Simple formula, and I really really wish that worked. Now I gotta learn me some spells & find me a dragon to slay. It really is too bad I'm not single (not really a grand catch here, but I game, w00t!).
My ad would have looked something like:
Age: 26
Sex: Yep. Daily if possible.
Orientation: I likes me wenches. (insert random sound of me being beaten)
Looking for: Generally meaningless relationship. No nagging, biting (okay, well some biting), kicking (ever), or screaming (generally it's someone else's name anyways), and I must definitely have lots of time for gaming.Boy I'm glad I'm married & my wife has a sense of humor (okay honey, put down the machete...)
/d
You forgot to mention that you like a long, lush, mane, a healthy coat, and four legs aren't an impediment to long, and that you like long rides through the forest and you don't mind shooeing flys away from the right woman's behind . . .
Wait, this was your ad, not Grim's . . .
Well, Grim can at least turn INTO those things, so it's not so wrong anymore.
Random Question: Do I need to bring out Mrs. KnightErrant's list 'o' KnightErrantJR's fetishes? I got a few good ones :D
/d
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SHOW ME THE TURTLES!!
Oh...oh dang..wait, no, not..OH GOD MY EYES!!! (sob!) Why must everything be a double entrendre?!
He's got more than one?? Wow! I've watched a lot of 'teh pron', but I don't think I've ever seen anyone with a double entendre!! There has got to be a specialty market for that kind of thing...
So ... uuuh, there are still some harbinger singles left...
[looks around uncomfortably]
You forgot to mention that you like a long, lush, mane, a healthy coat, and four legs aren't an impediment to long, and that you like long rides through the forest and you don't mind shooeing flys away from the right woman's behind . . .
Wait, this was your ad, not Grim's . . .
*doink??*
....with bonuses to Cleaver..
*doink-doink??*
There has got to be a specialty market for that kind of thing...
Oh, there is.
There has got to be a specialty market for that kind of thing...Oh, there is.
Err, excuse me, is there still time to tell you, that we do not want to know?
Wow pirates have taken over this thread and really taken it off topic with silliness and heckling; sigh very very sad.
Err, excuse me, is there still time to tell you, that we do not want to know?There has got to be a specialty market for that kind of thing...Oh, there is.
::Looks up and notes that "DELETE" and "EDIT" no longer at the top of his post as options...::
Sorry.
Wow pirates have taken over this thread and really taken it off topic with silliness and heckling; sigh very very sad.
Wait! Did someone post a real personal ad!?!?! Where!? Damn. I missed it. ;-)
Mine was real; i never joke about love concerning relationships
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I'm still waiting for an answer to this whole Nick Logue = Tom Cruise thing.I simply can't believe that Nick Logue = Tom Cruise. I mean, Nick is wacky and crazy, but come on... he's no dark cultist! :P
Are you sure about that? How well do you know the guy? I mean, look at his avatar - if that doesn't scream "EVIL CULTIST", then I don't know what does.
-snip snip-
Are you sure about that? How well do you know the guy? I mean, look at his avatar - if that doesn't scream "EVIL CULTIST", then I don't know what does.
O__O
Maybe he's Tom Cruise's secret twin brother that the Evil Cultist's secreted away at birth becuase Nick is the only one that can stop Tom from Ending the World but then Nick knows this and there's gonna be an Epic Battle of Epic Porportions? Maybe?
Wait.
Wasn't Tom Cruise in a movie like that?
...
Crap.
I can also Distract with bottles of homebrew. ;)
I can usually acomplish the same thing by saying that I'll get them food and more wenches.
Nick Logue = Tom Cruise thing.
The Thing that Is Tom Cruise!!!
Maybe he's Tom Cruise's secret twin brother that the Evil Cultist's secreted away at birth becuase Nick is the only one that can stop Tom from Ending the World but then Nick knows this and there's gonna be an Epic Battle of Epic Porportions? Maybe?
That ship sailed. Tom won. We're f+&*ed.
Would that I actually were Nicole Kidman, so I could have sex with myself...
Scratch that...
Would that I actually were Nicole Kidman, so I could act with myself.
She is TALENTED!
Age, eleven weeks.
Sex, male.
Sexual preference, depends on how crowded the cage is.
Physical description, grey with a fetching pink nose.
Location, wizards den.
Interests, arcane formula and dairy products.
Dreams, I hope to someday put the books down and stand on two feet.
Salary requirements, a clean cage and some sunflower seeds.
Class, town mouse and damn proud of it.
Special Abilities, I can carry six times my own weight on my head.
I've got a mouse
and he hasn't got a house.
I don't know why I call him Gerald.
he's getting rather old but he's a good mouse.
I read this whole thread.
Now I feel.... dirty.I know how you feel, I read it and felt dirty, too.
So I read it again!
The fun Vegas dirty or the "I think my 'cool uncle' from childhood just tried to make out with me" dirty?
The fun Vegas dirty or the "I think my 'cool uncle' from childhood just tried to make out with me" dirty?
ahem...
so I could have sex with myself...
Pal we shot straight up to scrub your eyeballs with steel wool and lye to relieve the pain dirty.
The fun Vegas dirty or the "I think my 'cool uncle' from childhood just tried to make out with me" dirty?ahem...
so I could have sex with myself...Pal we shot straight up to scrub your eyeballs with steel wool and lye to relieve the pain dirty.
Hey, buddy, if you were Nicole Kidman, you'd want to too...
Act with yourself I mean!!! You know, cause...the talent!
Actresses are sexy to me based solely on their ability to play a scene. This is not a lie, it is a curse...especially with the way Hollywood casts female roles these days. I don't find any actresses attractive anymore. With the exception of a rare few...like Cate Blanchett...OH...My...GODS!...that woman is a goddess. She acts everyone off the screen in most movies.
Anyone ever seen "The Missing"...its a treat. Cate and Tommy Lee...black magic, shamanism, and a lot of crazy scenes.
While I'm threadcrapping and non-sequitoring my ass off: If you liked "the Missing" consider seeing "The Proposition" with Guy Pearce as well.
Okay...Nick is making a promise not to destroy this thread anymore. I think gamers mating with other gamers is a worthy thing. Go crazy guys and girls!!!
Director of Narrative
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Pal we shot straight up to scrub your eyeballs with steel wool and lye to relieve the pain dirty.
Well, since Mr. Kidman already threadjacked this I just have to say that you should lay off the lye. I've had an adventure based around lye for quite a while now that has yet to see publication. Maybe it won't. Could just be a lie for a lye.
Actresses are sexy to me based solely on their ability to play a scene.
...so Ruth Gordon was a hottie then?
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When gamers grind
*sung to prince's When Doves Cry*
Dig if u will, a neckbeard
tumbling ocean of hair down a chest,
the sweat of my body covers you
Doritos and cornchips
mixed with Mountain Dew.
Dream if u can a basement
doughy gamers embraced in a trist,
pasty-fleshed, outta shape poses
'scuse me my darling
I got to go and retch.
How can u just leave me standing?
Alone in a setting so old? (setting so old)
Maybe I'm just 2 nostalgic
Maybe I like playing Dark Sun 2 much
Maybe you like playing Planescape
We'll never compromise (We'll never compromise)
Why do we scream at each other
This is what it sounds like
When gamers collide
Touch the pasty pot-belly
feel how its like rubbery hide,
a weeks worth of sweaty grime all built up
Don't make me shower
u know u want a ride
How can u just leave me standing?
Alone in a setting so old? (setting so old)
Maybe I'm just 2 nostalgic
Maybe I like playing Dark Sun 2 much
Maybe you like playing Planescape
We'll never compromise (We'll never compromise)
Why do we scream at each other
This is what it sounds like
When gamers grind