However, The Temple of Elemental Evil - The Musical, complete with new skill uses, feats and PrCs for performance-focused all bard-type parties would not make it on my top ten must haves.
A D&D musical. How unsettling.
"To-day! I'll slay ev'ry baw-dy... ev'ry baw-dy I SEE!"
(By Rogers and Dwarvenhammerstein?)
You gomme. That's an official 'would not buy'.
Lilith- you are right, no matter what book was printed for D&D someone would buy it. There is someone that would buy it just for the sake of saying they have the entire D&D collection.
Celestial Healer- I would so buy the Complete Accountant! Maybe then Paizo would hire me! Plus it would be a kick to have it out on my desk at work.
Ajs- My hubby would so buy the Three Dragon Ante book! He's been having a kick using the table out of a recentish Dragon to generate random charaters. He's asked for a set of Three Dragon Ante cards for Christmas if I can find them.
Seriously, I'd draw the line at Spider Compendeum. Ick.
I, on the other hand, would get good use out of the spider compendium -- I have been using the servants of Lolth as major antagonists in my campaign. Then, I'd get good use out of the Celestial Codex as well. Now, d13's "Rediscovering Thac0"... that's a good one for the list of Books to not Buy. I might just pick up the Flavortext Compendium for kicks/brainstorming aids, though.
Bathroom Tiles - A collection of white, off white and black bathroom tiles to make your bathroom adventures more exciting!
Now make the data base and jam Doc's pony boy in there somewhere.
"Pony boi" (indeed...) completed and "pending." "Commoner Horse Trainer" will be the one to watch for. "Commoner Horse Trader" will likely soon follow, as will an advanced version or two of the Trainer.
I want to see the Complete Commoner. A book of feats and exciting options for average people! Feats like 'Improved Harvest' which allow you to shuck corn as a standard action instead of a full-round action or perhaps 'Handyman' that gives a +2 bonus to Craft (carpentry) and Craft (masonry). For those Experts out there, how about the 'Shrewd Businessman' feat which allows a Will saving throw to resist the effects of PCs Diplomacy checks to negotiate lower prices on goods! Even better still, 'Improved Distress' which can only be taken by damsels, it reduces the DC for PCs to hear your cries for help by 20!!! AMAZING!
In all seriousness, there's some really good ideas in your jest and I may make use of them to some degree or another in my NPC project...
Cantrip Compendium Vols. I-XIII Dungeon Magazine's Complete List of Typographical Errors
I'd actually consider buying the prior. The latter is more like a nightmare in which I look at my collection, see the typo book and notice that I paid forty bucks US for it.
I awake in a cold sweat screaming, "Loser!"
I would buy that!!! The flumph is the greatest D&D creature ever.
Don't hate the flumph, love the flumph.
I hate personal attacks on boards like this so please take this advice in the spirit it is offered - seek help - FAST, you are a risk to yourself and those you game with.
That said - I might go for the cantrip books - but then I self medicate.
I would buy that!!! The flumph is the greatest D&D creature ever.
Don't hate the flumph, love the flumph.I hate personal attacks on boards like this so please take this advice in the spirit it is offered - seek help - FAST, you are a risk to yourself and those you game with.
But...I like flumphs too...
Anyways here are some useless books that no one would buy.
The Coin Compendium-A 350 page book of pictures of what gold peices could look like.
The Book of 1337-A book dealing with leetspeak in D&D, both as a language and as a source of unmentionable power.
The Green Foot of Doom-A follow-up to the excellent adventure. This time, it's gnolls! And they've got green feet! They're working for Tiamat too! Ain't it grand!? (No, no it is not.)
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This thread makes me sad. In a bookstore noone visits, in the Land of Broken Toys That Nobody Loved, there's a shelf of Books That Nobody Would Buy.
Complete Guide to Fishwives
The Gods of the Flumphs
Dredging and Drudgery--Guide to Adventuring in Canals
Strumpets of the Realms
Fiendish Codex III-the Modrons
The Gods of the FlumphsFiendish Codex III-the Modrons
Gimme.
Gimme.
:)
"I was a tween-age Grimlock"
"The 100 rats you meet in heaven, which you killed to reach 2nd level"
Modenkainen's Distention: The ArchMage Himself Rates The Best Eateries On Oerth And Beyond
Balancing out my appreciation for all of these funny ideas is the inward thud that comes with realizing I would be actually interested in reading a quarter of the gag book titles offered thus far. That's my cue to get off the couch, hop on a motorcycle, and head off to see the world. (hmm... which vague reference to use? Rocky Dennis or Then Came Bronson?)
"Goin' down that long lonesome highway...
Goin' to live life my way..."
Our list of titles needs to be compiled and stored, that future generations might know of our special special ways.
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How bout the Forgettable Spell Compendium?
Even the great Archmagi can have "what the abyss were they thinking" moments. Who can forget
Bigby's Badfinger
Tasha's Uncontrollable Terett's
Mordenkainen's Tweezers
Mordenkainen's Gaseous Hound
Otto's Uncontrollable Facial Tic
or that alltime classic foible
Leomund's Stinky Outhouse
Mordenkainen's Gaseous Hound
This one made me Laugh Out Loud at work.
It reminded me of that kids book about the farting dog.He did scare a buglar, I think, so this might be a useful spell.
Leomund's Stinky Outhouse - because not only rats and goblins poop in game. Players need somewhere to go, too.
How about
"I'm OK, you're a Roper"
"The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Gelatinous Cubes"
"The Svirfneblin Manifesto"
Complete Bureaucrat
Guide to Dwarven Grammar
Mundane Item Compendium
Clothing Compendium
Leomund's Stinky Outhouse
At one point, Thanis and I started coming up with gag items, and Daern's Instant Outhouse was on the list. The flavor text included lines like "the outhouse extends ten feet into the ground (so that the boy scouts can't tip it over)", and we started laughing every time we got to the part about the crenellated battlement. I later had Daern design a Bathtub to complete the set. Other items included the Cursed Boots of Disco (the creator is required to be Fiendishly Evil) and the Decanter of Endless Cannonballs, which I believe had a specific component of a pizza used to bribe the DM.
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~LAUGHTER~ Good one!The Flumph Codex.
I'd buy the Celstial Codex, and sad as it is, I'd probably buy the Flumph Codex.
A book I wouldn't buy?
Piles of The Realm: a scatological exploration of Waterdeep and beyond.
I think a Feceflinger PrC wouldn't even be fun to read.
ah but you fail to realize, WAterdeeps sewers would be extensively covered...in fecal matter...and you find out what happens to what beholders eat!
Always makes me think about that Threes Company spinoff The Ropers.
"I'm OK, you're a Roper"
I thought the exact same thing. Wild.
And thanks for the Chairface Chippendale info in that other thread.
At one point, Thanis and I started coming up with gag items, and Daern's Instant Outhouse was on the list. The flavor text included lines like "the outhouse extends ten feet into the ground (so that the boy scouts can't tip it over)", and we started laughing every time we got to the part about the crenellated battlement. I later had Daern design a Bathtub to complete the set. Other items included the Cursed Boots of Disco (the creator is required to be Fiendishly Evil) and the Decanter of Endless Cannonballs, which I believe had a specific component of a pizza used to bribe the DM.
One of our charaters has the bathtub and actually uses it. She turned quite a few heads when she was bathing in the hallway of a major temple of Palor. It was amusing.