Books nobody would buy


Off-Topic Discussions

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Silver Crusade

So, I was reflecting upon the Fiendish Codex, and wondering when they were making the Celestial Codex, when I realized, no one (myself included) would ever spend money on that book (well, a few people with unusual campaigns and money to burn...).

So I got to thinking: what other books should WotC never make? Serious or funny.

P.S. If you think they should make a Celestial Codex, I'd be interested to hear it...

Scarab Sages

Celestial Healer wrote:
So I got to thinking: what other books should WotC never make? Serious or funny.

4th Edition. Okay, maybe not 'never' but not for quite a while.


Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Adventure, Lost Omens Subscriber

Another psionics book - I don´t even use the one I have, and was quite surprised that they did a "CPH" when there was already the Psionics Handbook and the Extended Psionics Handbook. Do we really need three books for an optional rule ?

Stefan


The Flumph Codex.


Gavgoyle wrote:
4th Edition. Okay, maybe not 'never' but not for quite a while.

Ugh.

I'll say NEVER to that one. I already had to shell out twice for the core rulebooks in "3rd" edition. If they come out with a 4th edition I think my head would explode.


Stebehil wrote:

Another psionics book - I don´t even use the one I have, and was quite surprised that they did a "CPH" when there was already the Psionics Handbook and the Extended Psionics Handbook. Do we really need three books for an optional rule ?

Stefan

Expanded Psionics Handbook was a 3.5 update for the Psionics Handbook.

Hmm...books nobody would buy (I would buy the aforementioned Celestial Codex)...

I honestly can't think of any that nobody would buy, 'cause SOMEBODY out there would. The only ones I can think of are ones that I would buy. :P

Dark Archive Bella Sara Charter Superscriber

Celestial Healer wrote:

So, I was reflecting upon the Fiendish Codex, and wondering when they were making the Celestial Codex, when I realized, no one (myself included) would ever spend money on that book (well, a few people with unusual campaigns and money to burn...).

That was what I thought regarding the book of vile darkness and exhalted deeds. The later sounded so terribly dull that I couldn't imagine anyone purchasing it, and now it seems like everyone uses it.

Liberty's Edge

10,001 Items Found in a Gelatinous Cube.

Includes the PrC "Geometric Diviner" for those who need their crunchy bits.

And the tables also require the rare 1000-side die, only available in random mix dice packs. Maybe you get one, maybe you don't (but that giant bulge in the bag kind of gives it away).


Colin McKinney wrote:

The Flumph Codex.

I'd buy the Celstial Codex, and sad as it is, I'd probably buy the Flumph Codex.

A book I wouldn't buy?

Piles of The Realm: a scatological exploration of Waterdeep and beyond.

I think a Feceflinger PrC wouldn't even be fun to read.


The Jade wrote:
Colin McKinney wrote:

The Flumph Codex.

I'd buy the Celstial Codex, and sad as it is, I'd probably buy the Flumph Codex.

A book I wouldn't buy?

Piles of The Realm: a scatological exploration of Waterdeep and beyond.

I think a Feceflinger PrC wouldn't even be fun to read.

~LAUGHTER~ Good one!


Sharoth wrote:
~LAUGHTER~ Good one!

Why thank you, Sharoth. Thou art a dragon and a scholar.

Dark Archive RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32

Monster Manual V. I haven't even bought the 4th one yet and I don't really plan on it. I've got enough monsters to choose from already and if I REALLY need something esoteric, I'll just make something up myself.

Edit: Although, I guess there are lots of monster-collector types out there who WOULD buy this, so I suppose I'm just saying *I* would find it unnecessary.

Silver Crusade

How about an environment book (a la Sandstorm or Stormwrack) based on grassy meadows? Can't think of a good name for it...

Grand Lodge

Celestial Healer wrote:
How about an environment book (a la Sandstorm or Stormwrack) based on grassy meadows? Can't think of a good name for it...

"Beesting"? "Pollencough"?

Scarab Sages

Vattnisse wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:
How about an environment book (a la Sandstorm or Stormwrack) based on grassy meadows? Can't think of a good name for it...
"Beesting"? "Pollencough"?

HayFever

Dark Archive RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32

How about a counterpart to the Book of Vile Darkness and the Book of Exalted Deeds for the neutral alignments called "The Book of Remarkable Ambiguity?"

It could feature PrCs like the 'Coinflipper' and the 'Unmotivated' template which would give +4 to Will saves against spells that cause the character to actually DO anything as well as SR 20 versus enchantments aimed at advancing the plot. Maybe even a metamagic feat called 'Indecisive Spell' that allows you to apply the effects of any other metamagic feat the caster has for no increase in effective spell level, but the caster is not permitted to choose the target for the spell. They are selected at random instead.

(Can you tell I've had issues with poorly played CN characters in my games before?)

Silver Crusade

I like Beesting and Hayfever... (Well, I don't really like hayfever. It's been kicking my butt all week.)

I've actually heard people wishing there was a Book of Perfect Balance for neutrals, but I think Fatespinner's ideas are much much better.

Silver Crusade

And we mustn't forget the Complete Accountant.


Celestial Healer wrote:
And we mustn't forget the Complete Accountant.

My friend Dave will be happy you didn't forget him.

A book that explores true neutral and issues of balance seems possible. Have to dig into the philosophy and create subset philosophies that can be individually subscribed to... so this TN guy and that TN guy have completely different mindsets. Being beyond good and evil surely must confer certain powers. Spells, feats, weapons, armor and powers that work better for affecting lawful and chaotic, good and evil alike.

Grand Lodge

Fatespinner wrote:

They are selected at random instead.

Sir, you seem to have identified the very essence of CN!

Dark Archive RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32

Celestial Healer wrote:
And we mustn't forget the Complete Accountant.

I want to see the Complete Commoner. A book of feats and exciting options for average people! Feats like 'Improved Harvest' which allow you to shuck corn as a standard action instead of a full-round action or perhaps 'Handyman' that gives a +2 bonus to Craft (carpentry) and Craft (masonry). For those Experts out there, how about the 'Shrewd Businessman' feat which allows a Will saving throw to resist the effects of PCs Diplomacy checks to negotiate lower prices on goods! Even better still, 'Improved Distress' which can only be taken by damsels, it reduces the DC for PCs to hear your cries for help by 20!!! AMAZING!


Fatespinner wrote:


I want to see the Complete Commoner. A book of feats and exciting options for average people! Feats like 'Improved Harvest' which allow you to shuck corn as a standard action instead of a full-round action or perhaps 'Handyman' that gives a +2 bonus to Craft (carpentry) and Craft (masonry). For those Experts out there, how about the 'Shrewd Businessman' feat which allows a Will saving throw to resist the effects of PCs Diplomacy checks to negotiate lower prices on goods! Even better still, 'Improved Distress' which can only be taken by damsels, it reduces the DC for PCs to hear your cries for help by 20!!! AMAZING!

Lol. The Complete Sarcastic by Fatespinner C. Ninnymuggins. Your idea, though jest, could probably create a richer level of detail for commoners but who has time to roll up 10,000 commoner's stats? Time to ask you know who to create another database. J/K

Dark Archive RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32

The Jade wrote:
Fatespinner C. Ninnymuggins

I need to have business cards printed in this name. Yes. I must.


The Jade wrote:
Time to ask you know who to create another database.

Wot's this, 'ere? :D


You mean like my Cmn1 Horse Trainer I'll be posting to the NPCSBB soonish?


A belated Happy Bday, Lilith.

And are you married now to that Luciferian fiance of yours? Congratulations. Now make the data base and jam Doc's pony boy in there somewhere. ;)

The Exchange

Celestial Healer wrote:

I like Beesting and Hayfever... (Well, I don't really like hayfever. It's been kicking my butt all week.)

I've actually heard people wishing there was a Book of Perfect Balance for neutrals, but I think Fatespinner's ideas are much much better.

Claratin works for me well with seasonal nasal allergies. I would call the book "Plain ol' Plains".

FH


Fatespinner wrote:
Your idea, though jest, could probably create a richer level of detail for commoners but who has time to roll up 10,000 commoner's stats?

I guess we now know what will be in the Monster Manual V.


Personally speaking, I would *really* like a moritorium on ANY new books for about 3 months. Call me a killjoy, but I'm rapidly becoming overwhelmed by all the new material WotC keeps cranking out on a seemingly-by-the-minute basis. As a DM, I'm really having trouble keeping up with the latest and greatest. Plus, I'm really starting to feel like we're getting to this point:

Player to DM: Okay, I'd like to crosstitch the aurumvorax pattern that we bought on our last trip to Rauxes.

DM (quizzical): Uhm, okay. You DO know that your character is falling from the dragon's mouth into that pit of acid, right? Plus with the Wind Wall he just cast, uhm...you *might* find it hard to thread the needle.

Player (smugly): Oh, no prob! Just consult table 7-1 in the DMG v2654! They've got a chart telling you exactly how it should break out....

Again, call me a killjoy--but do we really need rules for all this stuff???

Liberty's Edge

M. Balmer wrote:
Fatespinner wrote:
Your idea, though jest, could probably create a richer level of detail for commoners but who has time to roll up 10,000 commoner's stats?
I guess we now know what will be in the Monster Manual V.

lol

all that and a purple spawn people eater?


The Jade wrote:

A belated Happy Bday, Lilith.

And are you married now to that Luciferian fiance of yours? Congratulations. Now make the data base and jam Doc's pony boy in there somewhere. ;)

Thanks for the birthday wishes! No, I'm not married as of yet. :P


Lilith wrote:
The Jade wrote:

A belated Happy Bday, Lilith.

And are you married now to that Luciferian fiance of yours? Congratulations. Now make the data base and jam Doc's pony boy in there somewhere. ;)

Thanks for the birthday wishes! No, I'm not married as of yet. :P

Sorry 'bout that, chiefess. Thought I saw you use the word hubby last week, wondered how I missed the memo.


Heathansson wrote:


all that and a purple spawn people eater?

Of the one-eyed, one-horned variety? Terrifying in their irresistable hook.


Antithesis wrote:


Again, call me a killjoy--but do we really need rules for all this stuff???

There certainly are a lot of books to keep up with.

So many so that sometimes I wish they would all condense them all into a Guttenberg bible sized monstrosity that requires its own lectern for support.

"What's that?"
"D&D. Yeah... whole thing."
"The pages are three feet tall and the writing and drawings are so tiny."
"Yeah... they printed a single book on each page, front and back. First page is PH, three is PH2, five is DMG1..."
"But there are 2,000 pages!"
"Whole thing, brah. Had to sell a kidney to scrape up the dosh."

Dark Archive

What about "The Complete Guide To Random Stuff Found In Treasure Hordes That's Not Really Worth Anything"

Oops, sorry. I guess they are actually releasing this one in early November.


Lilith wrote:
No, I'm not married as of yet. :P

He'll make his Wisdom check some day.....

Grand Lodge

D&D Director's Cut: The stuff not good enough to include in any other sourcebook

It could of course be interesting in one of those "you exist as an example to others" kinds of ways, but...

And, of course, anything written by Ru Emerson, the "author" who gave us the novelisations of "Keep on the borderlands" and "Against the giants". Just say noooooooo!!!!

Dark Archive

Vattnisse wrote:
And, of course, anything written by Ru Emerson, the "author" who gave us the novelisations of "Keep on the borderlands" and "Against the giants". Just say noooooooo!!!!

You ain't kidding there--were those books just another attempt by WOTC to kill Greyhawk?


kikai13 wrote:

What about "The Complete Guide To Random Stuff Found In Treasure Hordes That's Not Really Worth Anything"

Oops, sorry. I guess they are actually releasing this one in early November.

An excerpt:

The Complete Guide to Random Stuff Found in Treasure Hordes That's Not Really Worth Anything.

Roll:
_____

01--sewing needle (a bit of blue thread still attached)
02--wrapping paper that held a fish (still damp, sans fish)
03--dwarven moustache comb (lice wage infighting battles thereupon)
04--a ransom note rough draft with none of the particulars filled in.
05--a forest troll's lucky tree stump (full of curling yellow toenail clippings capable of hedge trimming)
06--a turd
07--a dead badger (beyond its prime fer eatin')
08--a pillow of lint (from an arcane giant's mysterious navel)
09--an empty and cracked flagon with a drop of half orc grog still therein (and some vomit residue. maaaybe)
10--a free pass for four to a circus in a distant town (...that burned to the ground last year)

Dark Archive

I would be truly horrified to find #6 on that list if the hoard in question belonged to a colossal red dragon. You can tell by their breath weapon that those guys eat a lot of Mexican...


kikai13 wrote:
I would be truly horrified to find #6 on that list if the hoard in question belonged to a colossal red dragon. You can tell by their breath weapon that those guys eat a lot of Mexican...

un ' qué gran burrito ' pensó el dragón rojo como él mordió abajo en Sanchez, el clérigo sabroso.

Please forgive my bad Spanish.


The Jade wrote:
Sorry 'bout that, chiefess. Thought I saw you use the word hubby last week, wondered how I missed the memo.

Heh. We've been together for eight years, so it feels like we're married. In some states, I'm pretty sure common law would kick in at this point. :)

It's funny you refer to him as Luciferian, as he fits the stereotypical short dark angry man that his Darkness is sometimes depicted as. :D


Some more book ideas:

"Rediscovering Thac0"

"Lets convert it to Electrum!"

"Learn to Draw Jubilex"

"Barmaids and Barbarians: A Sourcebook for Seducing your PCs in D&D"


The Complete Guide to Naval Lint

~WEG~ It just might work with Savage Tide!


Lilith wrote:
The Jade wrote:
Sorry 'bout that, chiefess. Thought I saw you use the word hubby last week, wondered how I missed the memo.

Heh. We've been together for eight years, so it feels like we're married. In some states, I'm pretty sure common law would kick in at this point. :)

It's funny you refer to him as Luciferian, as he fits the stereotypical short dark angry man that his Darkness is sometimes depicted as. :D

See everyone!!! As I said, Lilith is EVIL!!! Pure, unadulterated EVIL!!! ~smiles sweetly at Liltih~ Now, what is for supper, oh Demon Queen of Vituals?

P.S. - It sounds like your honeypie is a cool person.

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Adventure, Rulebook Subscriber
Fatespinner wrote:
Monster Manual V. I haven't even bought the 4th one yet and I don't really plan on it. I've got enough monsters to choose from already and if I REALLY need something esoteric, I'll just make something up myself.

Ah, but if you leaf through your local gaming store's copy of MM4, you will find that Wizards anticipated this problem, and put a fair number of useful things in the book that aren't just strange new creatures.

Personally, I'm a fan of the work they did for orcs in MM4, but you might enjoy some of the scenario starters, backgrounds, maps or other things that were thrown in for DMs like you who aren't looking for the next big thing in amorphous blobs.

Also, the book contains some useful templates which you can use in combination with all of your old creature books.

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Adventure, Rulebook Subscriber

Books no one would buy:

Magical Dragons of Magic (announced in jest at gencon)

Complete Warriors - 1980s gang movies in D&D

Races of Ooze - The complete guide to player character slimes and oozes.

Tome of Possibilities - 120 pages of pristine white paper.

Flavortext Compendium - a collection of every bit of flavor text from all of the non-core books.

Three Dragon Ante Handbook - Classes, Prestige Classes and Feats relating to the card game.

Silver Crusade

ajs wrote:
Flavortext Compendium - a collection of every bit of flavor text from all of the non-core books.

For some reason that really cracked me up.

Scarab Sages

ajs wrote:
Complete Warriors - 1980s gang movies in D&D

Although this one does have that really cool feat 'Shout Taunt'...

Waaaarrrrrriiiorsss, come out to pla-ay!

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories, Pawns, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Charter Superscriber
ajs wrote:

Books no one would buy:

Races of Ooze - The complete guide to player character slimes and oozes.

Hmmm, I think I'd pick that one up. I'm a fan of the unanatomied.

However, The Temple of Elemental Evil - The Musical, complete with new skill uses, feats and PrCs for performance-focused all bard-type parties would not make it on my top ten must haves.

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