in Three Faces of Evil go to the bathroom? Seems like something was overlooked.
Also, why don't the Kenku have nests or the Faceless One a bed? His acolytes do.
Creative Director
|
in Three Faces of Evil go to the bathroom? Seems like something was overlooked.
Also, why don't the Kenku have nests or the Faceless One a bed? His acolytes do.
The answers, in order:
Chamberpots (made of cheep pottery or iron and not worth much more than 1 cp apiece, after cleaning).
The kenku sleep on perches or nests in their respective starting rooms in the labyrinth. They aren't on the maps, or mentioned in the text, but for the sake of those poor kenku, I assure you, they're there.
The Faceless One's too creepy to sleep in a bed. He probably sleeps on his lab tables. If you want a less silly response, just cram a bed into area 27 and call it good. I doubt the Faceless One has healthy work habits in any event.
in Three Faces of Evil go to the bathroom? Seems like something was overlooked.
Also, why don't the Kenku have nests or the Faceless One a bed? His acolytes do.
The answers, in order:
Chamberpots (made of cheep pottery or iron and not worth much more than 1 cp apiece, after cleaning).
The kenku sleep on perches or nests in their respective starting rooms in the labyrinth. They aren't on the maps, or mentioned in the text, but for the sake of those poor kenku, I assure you, they're there.
The Faceless One's too creepy to sleep in a bed. He probably sleeps on his lab tables. If you want a less silly response, just cram a bed into area 27 and call it good. I doubt the Faceless One has healthy work habits in any event.
How come so many bad guys have such poor hygiene habits?
Why is there never anything worthwhile to be found or fought in privies and bathrooms? Even the great adventure writers like Christopher Perkins and Monte Cook have dull empty privies and bathrooms in their adventures.
Why are chamber pots never made out of gold or silver in adventures? How about a magical chamber pot that empties itself? Now that would be a treasure!
In addition to giving the kenku nests or perches to sleep on I'd also scatter their rooms with bird seed, give them a big bath to wade in, and a few golden bells to play with.
Adventures don't have chamber pots, for the same reason the Players Handbook doesn't list toilet paper as equipment.
Adventures don't have privies, for the same reason the DMG's hazard section doesn't list Fort saves vs Urge-to-Pee every 12 hours.
It's a game about heroes and adventures; it's not a game about the accuracy and frequency bodily functions.
The same thing happens on TV and in the movies. We know that everybody must use the bathroom, it's part of life. But a movie doesn't need to describe how Darth Vader pees in his Tie Fighter, or where the Human Torch flies when he needs to take a poop.
We can just assume that they find a place to do it. Where they go or how people do it, does not need explaination or detail in a heroic adventure. It's not part of the game, and that is a good thing.
Port-a-johns for dungeons!!! Business plans??? Let's go people, the Flanaess was built upon the entrepeneurial spirit of the Aerdi, the Suel, the Flan and the Bakluni....that Rain of Colorless Fire thing was just a cop-out!!
I totally agree wit Leapingshark if your wondering where the bathrooms are you might be missing the point of DnD, but whatever floats your boat i spose.
LeapingShark,
Yes, but in heroic fiction, you rarely ever see the heroes searching every square inch of the villain's lair for treasure, so it's easy to say that they either never found his toilet area or they just weren't "shown" finding it on-screen in a film or in the text of a novel or whatever.
In D&D, characters do routinely check every corner of the villain's lair (sometimes in excrutiating detail), so not finding where he eats, sleep, defecates, etc in the place that he's supposed to live can hurt suspension of disbelief in a big way. Even if the game is "heroic" it still needs to cling to at least some small amount of common sense, or else it becomes silly, which isn't always appropriate to the nature of the piece.
This is a good example of how gaming can be inspired by movies and fiction, but in the end is still neither.
For some historic accuracy:
Someone once told me that during the grand feasts held by Louis XIV with it's myriad of courses people just stood up, excused themselves and relieved themselves in a quiet corner / corridor.
I imagine the servants being overjoyed about that but hey, everyone is employed and remember servants are cheap.
If someone can proof me wrong I will be most thankful.
For some historic accuracy...
Thankfully, the D&D universe is not historically accurate -- it has healthy inhabitants, literacy, typically wide-ranging freedoms, relatively fair treatment of individuals under the law, etc.
Perhaps they don't have the need for potty-breaks either :P
Regards,
Jack
For anybody who thinks I actually wanted those questions about chamber pots and bathrooms answered, let me say just three words to you.
I was joking!
Some details often get overlooked.
If you are a fan of literature, some scholars often joke that there are no bathrooms or bedrooms in Henry James' novels. The man was a bit squeemish about such things.
Perhaps the bathrooms of D&D are a bit too unsavory for cultured minds?
Even if the game is "heroic" it still needs to cling to at least some small amount of common sense, or else it becomes silly, which isn't always appropriate to the nature of the piece.
There is still a huge amount of detail left that makes every game very realistic. Some trigonometric/magnetic/chemical/biological minutae can be ignored.
Adding pots of poo everywhere, might make the game even more silly. I don't want the gaming session to sound like an episode of South Park!
Just assume dungeon inhabitants bury their waste in a shallow grave, like animals. If the room is solid rock, they either burn it, or the vilest ones will simply eat their own dung.
... or the vilest ones will simply eat their own dung.
Ewwww!
Now I'm going to have to include toilets in dungeons to avoid thinking about that :/
Not that Vecna-cultists would surprise me with anything they do -- or dwarves...
:P
Jack
Adventures don't have privies,
You must have missed the Whispering Cairn. Erik put privies AND showers in it.
We can just assume that they find a place to do it. Where they go or how people do it, does not need explaination or detail in a heroic adventure. It's not part of the game, and that is a good thing.
Hey, thanks for telling me how I should run my game. Maybe your players aren't that inquisitive, or you're more interested in running a hack & slash game and aren't concerned with dungeon ecosystems. A major hook in 3 Faces is that Smenk is supplying foodstuffs to the cult. If the dungeon features storage rooms & beds, but no privies, smart players (& DMs) will notice.
My first thought when I read the question was the black pool...
Introducing the restroom:
Restroom, this marvel of magical engineering removes the need for toilets in your dungeon.
requirements: create wondrous item, disintegration, caster level 12. cost: 10000gp.
And it explains why dungeons are always full of dust. (byproduct of the disintegration ;>)
I'm envisioning assault teams of kobolds with pooper scoopers. They charge 1sp/room.
"They then take the poop back to their dark master, who uses the poop of various creatures in magical experiments to create strange poop creatures based on the poop they were spawned from"
THE HALF-POOP TEMPLATE
Type changes to Outsider (as in GO OUTSIDE, not from another plane)
Armor Class: Natural armor class varies from -4 (diarrhea-spawn) to +2 (Lincoln log spawn)
Attack: Throw poop 1 pt of damage (DC12 Fort save or be sickened), but does 1 pt of damage to half-poop creature
Special Attacks: I'm open for suggestions
Level Adjustment -1
Special Attacks: I'm open for suggestions
Hmmm, what about an engulf attack? Anyone hit by the engulf attack must take a will save vs DC 20 or they curl up in fetal position and cry for their mothers.
This will change the level adjustment ofcourse.
Attack: Throw poop 1 pt of damage (DC12 Fort save or be sickened), but does 1 pt of damage to half-poop creature
Sounds like the mud-men from 1st and 2nd Ed, another cool monster that has never made the transition into any MM (though it has appeared in ToH from Necromancer games).
Aren't we forgetting gelatinous cubes and otyughs? Both those monsters love eating waste materials. There's also the filth imp from Fiend Folio. Actually, who needs chamber pots and restrooms? Just hire these guys out for the day, and they'll get rid of all that waste for you quick smart!
By the way, I think a half-excrement monster would have an unholy smell (Fort save or be sickened) and DR 5/cleaning products.
Sounds like the mud-men from 1st and 2nd Ed,
I vaguely remember reading about them, or one of my previous characters killed them.
Don't you find it disturbing that every new creature is treated with the following statement upon detection: "I haven't killed you before."
No wonder they hate us so much! LOL
ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I could be reading this thread forever! I may just put in that chamber pot of instant clean as a teaser magic item
Hey Sereph, I know you said the detect magic worked on this, but... um, you know
I got it! Maybe you wear it on your head like this. I think I may be feeling stronger!
That will have them running around like confused idiots for a while, MWHAHAHAHA!
About that template... you can add a breath weapon that acts as a brown color spray, and once you hack up the monster enough, the little pieces count as a swarm and can only be stoped by spells.