Asmodeus

Viscount of Two Moons Hence's page

39 posts. Alias of captain yesterday.


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Lord Fyre wrote:
Fumarole wrote:
Did you just necro a nine year old April Fool's thread?
I was expecting a post about Abomination Vaults for D&D 5E for this Necro. :/

Congrats, you just did!

You must be some sort of time traveler!!

take me with you!!!


gran rey de los mono wrote:
Fallout Rampage Cap'n Yesterday wrote:
gran rey de los mono wrote:
Fallout Rampage Cap'n Yesterday wrote:
When bartering for goods and services it's important to remember, the mininuke is useless without a Fatman.
I'm a fat man. Does that help?
Can you launch a mininuke far enough to annihilate a charging horde of super mutants without also annihilating yourself?
Maybe. I've never tried.

Let me know how it goes.


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This (upcoming) summer if anyone complains about having to work in hot weather I'll point to this week as the reason I buried them in that hole.


Man, I can't keep up and work!

And I just attained celebrity status, so quiting is out of the question...

Very well, build up your roster, I shall have to waiteth until winter.


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I'm a celebrity!

I will absolutely let this go to my head!


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How many questions about radiation and super powers do you think I can come up in a day?


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All these years people laughed or rolled their eyes every time I said Facebook was evil.

Ha!


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Excellent! It can join The New Mattress in the Drejktheon!


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Oh, i don't drink.

I'm just afraid of the unknown.

And bridges.

Mostly bridges.

And heights.


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It's nice to have someone else with an appreciation for aliases back.


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That's what she said!!


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Musical interlude - That would be church and skate edition.

Please note: I do not actually possess the ability to skate.


That isn't contagious is it.

I can't afford to lose any aliases, I have so few!


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Happy half moon everyone!!

It's an absolutely gorgeous night. :-)


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I hate tactics, just let me die already so I can bring in the B team.


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You should work with me in the garden, that'll get you in shape. :-)


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Judging by how many giant inflatable human sized hamster balls we sell, I will agree.

Giant human sized hamster balls, the transportation of the future.

Most likely jet powered, and steered via Braintooth (think a blue tooth that you put on your temple)


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Our best chance for our first measurable snow is six days hence.


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Tacticslion wrote:
Man, I do not like shopping.

Yes i'm putting that off as well.


Or even if he wants to join.


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It seemed like it might be fun in the wee winter days, I have more name recognition, and I was bored.

Edit: plus it's always good to have more happy places on the boards. :-)


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Why didn't i answer that all in one post, you ask!

I didn't want to.

Wild Card B%+%%es!


Magazine rack?

Is that an app?


Please, everyone knows the Lakers are going to hit a home run running the end around through the goalie net to score the winning touchdown thus ensuring Peawaukee retains their world series trophy at the World Cup.

Sadly, none of that matters in Curling.


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Do you like shapeshifting, and magic.


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I'm going to be watching Terminator: Genesis later. So yes I do anticipate some nausea. :-)


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Everything I've said has been geared towards building the perfect cult. :-)


I've done weirder alias tangents. :-)


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Wake me up when we get to the Occult classes.


Those words. Is it possible to use them in a sentence together like that.


I think we all know what the answer will be. It's best not to dwell on it. :-)


I think you all know what my answer is going to be...


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You just need a Laser Torch and some Napalm to find the path.


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I was a little bummed you didn't link to the ask Mark thread which was linked to the rules question.

I'm going to guess right now.

6 people will affirm your position and then one person will take a dump all over everyone else. Aelrynth will come in with the absolute most literal definition of what the word "Is" means, which only causes the next ten to four hundred posts trying to figure out how the Paladin fell, legally speaking.


Alanis Morissette wrote:
I blame Cosmo that Ghost Sriracha Pumpkin Spice will likely appear when they reboot the Spice World movie franchise.

Would It help if it was co-directed by Kevin Smith and Quentin Tarantino. The whole movie takes place in the span of five minutes, has 1,783 pop culture references, no one lives except Alanis Morissette who makes a cameo at the end to wordlessly flip everyone off.


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I think we all know what the answer will be.


Hold on! Nobody move! Has anyone seen my tumor...


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Creampuffy. Lol!


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Damn it Sharoth I was going to go to bed twenty minutes ago... :-D

Full Name

Cator Garess

Race

Human (taldane)|HP: 18/18|AC: 17 (13 Tch, 14 Fl)|CMB: +5, CMD: 18|F: +5, R: +3, W: +2| Init: +3|Perc: +6, SM: +2, Acro +7, Intim +6, Kn. (nature) +6, Surv +6

Classes/Levels

Barbarian/1st|Speed 30ft (40ft)|Rage 7/7 Rounds, +4 morale bonus to Str & Con +2 morale bonus to Will, -2 AC, +2 Temp HP

Gender

Male

Size

Medium

Age

18

Special Abilities

Fast Movement (Ex), Rage (Ex)

Alignment

Chaotic Good

Deity

Desna

Location

Golushkin Mountains, Brevoy

Languages

Common (Taldane), Dwarven, Sylvan

Strength 18
Dexterity 16
Constitution 17
Intelligence 14
Wisdom 15
Charisma 15

About Cator Garess

Initiative: +3
Senses: Perception +6
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AC 17 (13 Touch, 14 FF)(+3 Dex, +4 Armor)
Hp 18/18 (1d12(max) + 3 Con + 3 Toughness)
Fort +5, Ref +3, Will +2
-------
Speed 30 ft (40 ft Base)
Melee Greatsword +5 (2d6 + 4, 19-20/x2)
Ranged Shortbow +4 (1d6, x3, 60 ft.), composite longbow (+2) + 4 (1d8 + 2, 110 ft. x3)
Special Attacks Rage 7/7 Rounds, +4 morale bonus to Str & Con +2 morale bonus to Will, -2 AC, +2 Temp HP
-------
Spells
-------
BAB +1, CMB +5, CMD 18
Feats Additional Traits, Toughness
-------
Skills 4 + 2 Int + 1 Human/level
Acrobatics +7 (1 Rank, 3 Class, 3 Dex)
Appraise +2 (+4, natural stones and metal) (0 Rank, 2 Int)
Climb +8 (1 Rank, 3 Class, 4 Str)
Craft (leather) +6 (1 Rank, 3 Class, 2 Int)
Handle Animal +2 (0 Rank, 0 Class, 2 Cha)
Intimidate +6 (1 Rank, 3 Class, 2 Cha)
Knowledge (nature) +6 (1 Rank, 3 Class, 2 Int)
Perception +6 (1 Rank, 3 Class, 2 Wis)
Ride +3 (0 Rank, 0 Class, 3 Dex)
Survival +6 (1 Rank, 3 Class, 2 Wis)
Swim +4 (0 Rank, 0 Class, 4 Str)

SQ:

Weapon and Armor Proficiency
A barbarian is proficient with all simple and martial weapons, light armor, medium armor, and shields (except tower shields).
Fast Movement (Ex)
A barbarian’s land speed is faster than the norm for her race by +10 feet. This benefit applies only when he is wearing no armor, light armor, or medium armor, and not carrying a heavy load. Apply this bonus before modifying the barbarian’s speed because of any load carried or armor worn. This bonus stacks with any other bonuses to the barbarian’s land speed.
Rage (Ex)
A barbarian can call upon inner reserves of strength and ferocity, granting her additional combat prowess. Starting at 1st level, a barbarian can rage for a number of rounds per day equal to 4 + her Constitution modifier. At each level after 1st, she can rage for 2 additional rounds. Temporary increases to Constitution, such as those gained from rage and spells like bear’s endurance, do not increase the total number of rounds that a barbarian can rage per day. A barbarian can enter rage as a free action. The total number of rounds of rage per day is renewed after resting for 8 hours, although these hours do not need to be consecutive.

While in rage, a barbarian gains a +4 morale bonus to her Strength and Constitution, as well as a +2 morale bonus on Will saves. In addition, she takes a –2 penalty to Armor Class. The increase to Constitution grants the barbarian 2 hit points per Hit Dice, but these disappear when the rage ends and are not lost first like temporary hit points. While in rage, a barbarian cannot use any Charisma-, Dexterity-, or Intelligence-based skills (except Acrobatics, Fly, Intimidate, and Ride) or any ability that requires patience or concentration.

A barbarian can end her rage as a free action and is fatigued after rage for a number of rounds equal to 2 times the number of rounds spent in the rage. A barbarian cannot enter a new rage while fatigued or exhausted but can otherwise enter rage multiple times during a single encounter or combat. If a barbarian falls unconscious, her rage immediately ends, placing her in peril of death.

Racial Traits +2 to One Ability Score (Int), Medium, Normal Speed, Bonus Feat, Skilled, Languages.
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Traits (Social) Influence, (Combat) Axe to Grind, (Campaign) Noble Born (Garess), and (Religion) Starchild.
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Items Barbarian's Kit (includes a backpack, a belt pouch, a blanket, a flint and steel, an iron pot, rope, soap, torches (10), trail rations (5 days), and a waterskin.)
Combat Gear Greatsword, shortbow with 20 common arrows, composite longbow (+2 Str) with 20 arrows, and hide armor
Wealth
Carrying Capacity
Light (100 lbs or less); Medium (101-200 lbs.); Heavy (201-300 lbs.)
Current Load: 61
Height 6'0", Weight 220 lbs., Eyes Blue, Hair Brown, Dark
==============================================

Description:
Cator stands at 6 feet tall, broad shoulders atop an heavily-muscled frame. Gone is the rich boy's hair, cut to the latest style. Now the dark brown hair is worn long, often tied and dreaded behind his head.
The barbarian no longer wears the trapping of a noble born. Cator wears hide armor, piecemeal-ed together from various bears, wild goats, and a smilodon pelt worn on his shoulder. Across his back, Cator wears a greatsword and a shortbow, a quiver of 20 arrows hangs off his hip.

Personality:
Due to Cator's long absence from court life, the noble-turned-barbarian's social graces have dulled since then. Cator is fiercely protective of Vesnia, and any slight against the tiefling will be met with hostile aggression, at best; violence at worst. Over the years, Cator has gotten quite good making leather items out of his kills, making living in the wilderness easier. Cator has a low opinion of nobility and brevoy society in general.

Background:
Cator Garess was born into a minor branch of The Garess Family, a prominent noble house in Brevoy. Cator's the third son of Dardalus and Barbana Garess, with two older brothers, Micinius and Centius. The family lost Barbana in a mountain climbing accident when Cator was about 5 years old. This left the running of the house and raising the 3 boys to Dardalus, with help from various nannies over the years.

Cator, along with his older brothers, slowly grew into a noble, well-behaved adolescent. This all changed one harvest festival, when young master Cator met a Vesnia Uritio, a low-born desnan acolyte. Both teenagers were so enamored with each other, and quickly fell in love. Over the next few weeks, Cator would climb out of House Garess to meet his love under Desna's starry mantle. It was Micinius, who was coming back from a late hunt, who found the lovers together. The older stronger brother, along with some house guards, dragged Cator and Vesnia before Dardalus Garess in his study. The house patriarch was horrified to find not only his youngest son was cavorting with a low-born desnan priestess, but that Vesnia was a tiefling!! Dardalus forbid his youngest son of seeing 'the tainted abomination' every again, and son and father argued, railing into each other personally. Cator was under house arrest and Vesnia was thrown out onto the cobblestones. After a few days, Cator escapes with what meager belongings he could pack and left House Garess to find Vesnia and run away into the Golushkin Mountains.

At first, Dardalus was certain his youngest weaker son would come crawling back in a day or two after he escaped. But days turned into a week. The elder Garess sent out his older sons and various dwarven hunters out to find the young scion. But thanks to Desna's guidance, Vesnia was able to keep ahead and out of sight of any search party. Cator would rage against the efforts of his father to keep the two lovers apart, and the racist undertones of Brevoy society that reinforced his father's beliefs. The two lovers might have starved if it wasn't for a kind, dwarven trapper named Norberolf Highpeak. The dwarf, oddly enough, was also of noble birth, being able to trace his lineage back to a dead branch of one of the Five Mountain Kings line. Noberrolf took Cator under his wing, and taught both human and tiefling about wilderness lore and how to survive the harsh environment of The Golushkin Mountains. Meanwhile, word got out about the wayward Garess and his tiefling lover. Tales became romanticizes across Brevoy as 'The Lovers in the Mountains', but a tale of derision among the young nobles, looking for any weakness among their number.

For three years, Cator and Vesnia lived together and survived in the Brevoy wilderness, keeping one step ahead of Garess search parties. Cator's body transformed from a slim, noble stature to a hulking, muscle-bound protector of Vesnia and dedicated fur hunter. Then, one misty mountain morning, Cator and Vesnia were overlooking a ridge to find what looked like an out-of-place older noble man chasing a girl barely out of adolescence. Both barbarian and cleric intervened. It was discovered that the Lebeda noble man smuggled the girl into Brevoy to be his sex slave. With the girl's welfare at stake, and the noble's crime to report, both Cator and Vesnia brought both parties to New Stetven. There Cator and Vesnia collaborated the slave girl's story and brought justice to the Lebeda noble. Immediately afterward, Cator and Vesnia were ambushed and captured by House Garess forces. Cator fought against his captors to viciously, the barbarian had to be both chained and paddocked.

Human barbarian and tiefling cleric were transported back to House Garess. There Dardalus Garess was shocked to find in place of his youngest boy was a hulking wild man who raged against his shackles, merely addressing the patriarch as "Father". Also, pharasman priests were able to confirm the tiefling Vesnia was with child, Dardalus's grandchild. So enraged at his son for going behind his back, falling in love and getting a low-born tiefling pregnant, while evading his ever-expensive attempts to get his son back, Dardalus Garess brought a missive from King Surtova, asking for brave individuals to tame The Stolen Lands. The elder Garess declared the only way he would let the two lover go if they promised to undertake the journey into the Stolen Lands, and never return. With no other options, Cator and Vesnia agreed.