Urist McFortressDwarf's page

The urge...

The urge has returned.

The time has come.

Once more...

LET US STRIKE THE EARTH!

Can't trust them dandelions, not one bit.

Typical Impus Major. His new computer is set up at my desk, and after massive issues disconnecting Microsoft OneDrive (tirade to come), I got the data transferred and asked him to put it through its paces.

An 8-core Intel i12. 32 GB of DDR5. A GeForce 3060. 8.5 TB of hard drive space.

And he promptly runs Plants vs. Zombies.

I weep.

If it cain't be rendered in ASCII, why are ye even wastin' me time?

Slab's're for engravin' with th' names o' yer deadfolk. They ain't got no mystic mumbo jumbo to 'em, 'cept keepin' th' dead happy they're bein' remembered so they don't haunt yer arse.

'Less, 'course, y'mean th' artifact slabs ye find in forbidden old vaults guarded by th' legions o' the damned....

Vidmaster7 wrote:

gran rey de los mono wrote:

captain yesterday wrote:

First step is built.

Each of the two steps are about fifteen feet long with two different angles so it's actually more impressive then it sounds, especially because I had to install a U-Base base block underneath the step.

And I did it all myself as co-worker has been focused on digging trenches for some reason.

Is it because he is a dwarf, and he is digging a hole?

I like Patient Zero's version of that.

I'll stick with the one I linked.

This is my preferred version.

So, FaWtL was right.

Yesterday I put out the last known Legos, and again they were gone in under 2 hours.

So... 3 full Rubbermaid bins (both bins and Legos gone), a full moving box, and a full grocery bag, all moved on to happier homes, with not a single Lego hitting the landfill. (Yeah, Playmobil wasn't as lucky, but it's not as versatile. Legos are the universal language of kid toy.)

Blocks for the Block Throne!

lisamarlene wrote:

I am so freaking sick of Hero Labs.

Actually, not of Hero Labs itself, but of trying to figure out a way to kluge Hero Labs to fit whatever WW says he's trying to do or buy.

What? Rocks fall and WW dies is not in there? What a rip!

Oh it's there lad, ye just gotta carve away this spot right here without proper sup-....

A section of the cavern has collapsed!
Urist McFortressDwarf, Miner cancels Dig: Unconscious.

Yes. Yes, by Armok. Yes.

I definitely earned my legendary proficiency with the saw this week.

There's probably 20th level dwarven craftsmen that are jealously plotting my demise after the last couple of weeks I've had.

Bah. Jealousy is unbefitting of a proper dwarf. What do we look like, elves?

We celebrate the accomplishments of our fellow craftsmen. Huzzah to ye, lad, and may yer legendary artifacts mesmerize generations to come.

The Dwarven Fortress of Paperbreaches has finally fallen, overwhelmed by a goblin siege that managed to slay all of the military - though they took many of the enemy with them to the grave - and breached the fortress to enter and slay the workers, the children, the infirm, and the insane.

A new fortress, Palacebulwark, was swiftly founded only to be almost instantly destroyed by an infestation of Wereskinks.

A new fortress again has arisen, Lashedenjoys. May it stand longer than the four hours or so its predecessor survived, and may there be far fewer goblins and lycanthropes. STRIKE THE EARTH!!

EDIT: And we've already found gold! Huzzah!!

captain yesterday wrote:

"Needs caltrop launcher and probably a Gunner's Box with society about to collapse. At the very least it needs a flame thrower" - Why the boss says I'm the mechanic's favorite truck checker (every two weeks we have to go through our assigned trucks and clean them and do a point by point inspection of critical systems).

"Button that causes truck to transform into a giant robot seems to be missing."

"Lava dispenser appears to be malfunctioning."

Limeylongears wrote:

Also, a question.

Given that trees don't grow in the Underdark, and hence wood will be a rare & precious resource, what do its denizens make spear/arrow shafts, etc., out of - dried fungus? Metal? Bone?

Probably specially grown fungus?

This is the answer in Dwarf Fortress at least. Large mushrooms called Tower-Caps grow in the deep chasms, and are considered "trees" by game mechanics and thus can be harvested for wood and used for all the things wood is.

Metal, stone, and crystal is probably more reasonable in the D&D setting though, if only because as Drejk noted, drow and duergar don't tend to use bows, they use crossbows, which can be made without wood or wood-like products.

Urist McFortressDwarf wrote:

That's elf talk! You an elf under that stick-figure mask? Lemme see yer ears!

I am indeed.

what's it to you, Stumpy Von Lagerfarts?

Oh nothin'. Just gonna go chop down a bunch'a trees and turn 'em into beds and traps and beer barrels and chewtoys for the forgotten beasts. Nothin' fer you t' be concerned 'bout.

That's elf talk! You an elf under that stick-figure mask? Lemme see yer ears!

captain yesterday wrote:

I would never kill all the insects, only the ones that impede my progress.

If it was honey bees I would have put a bit more effort into moving the colony.

As it is I'm glad no one was stung, as Crookshanks was the one that found it.

But... but... bumblebees are gentle and sweet-natured!

But they don't make honey unless you mod your world file so they be completely useless. And they sting the animals!

<ears perk up>

<is a 90+ lb. Biggun>

<still attempts to be a lap dog>

<Gives Cal the puppy dog eyes>

Tacticslion wrote:

Space Tyrant Zordlon wrote:

40 ONE-EYED CHIHUAHUA PUPPIES

Oh, that's just horrifying. Horrifying. You monster.

What's worse? 40 1-eyed Chihuahuas or a 41-eyed Chihuahua?

<growls at both>

<ACE uses HOWL!>

<ATTACK rose!>

*Chases Hound up into a ceiling corner, barks at it incessantly for hours*

*looks at chair with pleading eyes*

*places one paw questioningly on edge of chair*