Andrew Turner wrote:
Misleading avatars almost ruined my company. HOW DARE YOU!
To avoid any misrepresentation, borderline or otherwise, I think I should disclose that I'm not actually the CEO of Hasbro nor Steve Jobs, though both post here regularly and in their official capacity, so I can see how someone might be misled...
...you know, if they were drunk...and had never used the internet before...and under the age of 6...
Then, it's definitely misleading.
Mammon, Habro V.P. Assets Div. wrote:
GET BACK TO WORK!
Patricio Calderón wrote:
You obviously don't know the rest of the Hasbro Board. Milton "the Snake" Weisburg once brought six hookers, a pound of blow, and a doberman to a meeting. That was a hell of a night - I think it might have been when we came up with taking out gnomes and replacing them with tieflings.
Besides, if I used my real name, I'd really be concerned about you hitting on me. Particularly when you spell my name Sebastina. I just don't swing that way.
Patricio Calderón wrote:
You will pay for that statement. You've made a very powerful enemy today. I am going to personally dedicate each and every 4e product to you. In fact, I will include a foreward in the 4e phb explaining how we weren't really going to produce 4e, but due to a well thought out letter by you, Patricio Calderón, begging us to update 3e because you thought it was "the most broken thing ever in the history of humankind and fit to be played only by feces-flinging chimps" we changed our minds and produced it anyway.
You will henceforth be known as the person who created 4e!
Mha ha ha!!!
Hasbro Executive Ron wrote:
Hey! I'm not paying you to take to the "fans". Get back to work!!!
Charles Evans 25 wrote:
Lord Sebastian: Was your deposal of Lady Stevens to usurp her position a bloodless coup, or a messy affair?
That's a good question Charles and a common misperception. Though I am CEO of Hasbro, which owns WotC, I currently have no control over those unstoppable rebels at Paizo. Believe me, if I were to run Paizo, things would be very different. I'd change all their adventures to my new Super Delve format, which is actually just a linear narrative explaining what happens to your characters in the adventure. We realized that making choices is what really slows down the game, so by eliminating that aspect, we've found that D&D is a much better experience.
Of course, the real genius is that on the third page of every single adventure, the characters die. Which is why I would also relaunch the Magic Item cards to contain the exclusive means of raising the dead under the core rules. This innovative product will result in you buying the adventures, and then having to buy 10-20 raise dead cards per adventure.
Genius, I say, genius.
Combined with our new $20 for a 20, where you pay us $20 and we issue a certificate to your DM which must be treated in all ways as a natural 20 on an actual rolled die, and you can see how we will transform the way you play D&D.
Charles Evans 25 wrote:
We at Hasbro actually own that song, so yes, in a way you are correct.
Money is a sufficient justification. What's wrong with money?!?!!
Money, money, money!
I love money, yes I do!
Money, money, money!!!
We are living in a material world, and I am a material CEO....
Seriously - you don't even need to buy the new rules set. Just mail me hundred dollar bills. Is that so hard?
Excellent idea! Brainy must be a character class.
We've taken Papa Smurf out of the game, but that's because it's so cool without him that I can't even keep from wetting myself. Instead of Papa Smurf, we're going to put Jar Jar Binks in as a prestige class!
I don't know. Sebastian, what should I do?
Because WotC makes the best products known to man. Even if you don't play with the material in the 3.5 books, you could use them to say, wallpaper your baby's room. Or make folding cranes. If you can fold over 1,000, you may even save the cheerleader.
Or the waitress.
Or maybe not.
And most importantly, because I need a new panda-skin rug for the guest bedroom on my yacht.
Bah. You lie about having a working replicat of Optimus Prime once and the lawyers are all over you. I can't even say things like "Shut your pie hole and buy some more pokemon cards - I need silk toilet paper for my yacht" anymore.
Dear Mr. Overgod,
George Lucas has never, and will never, meet a horse so dead that he will not beat it some more. We at Hasbro are currently working on a license for his upcoming 14 part cartoon epic titled "Han Shot First, Leia was Not Really Luke's Sister, and Darth Vader has a Clone D00d." As with all our products, we are confident this will be a resounding success.
As for your existence, let me assure you that in 4e FR, you will be retconned back into the game. We have chosen you as the diety of the new Magic Pony Kingdom High School Musical Land, our attempt to cross over with the tween girl audience. We sincerely hope that you like pink, purple, and sparkles as much as our target demographic.