Rovagug, The Rough Beast's page

What are you in here for?

Nothing, I was framed!

I like all the evil themed aliases we have between us all.

I have no idea what you're talking about?! Would you be a dear and open up this cage.

No daylight yesterday... ash covering my deck today...

OK, Cosmo, that's it! I'm pulling out the big guns!

I blame Cosmo for all of 2020!

Yes, it's all his fault! Get him!!

Clumsy Anti-Paladin wrote:

And NEVER operate a saw around goblin babies.

Yes, yes, I know: Goblin babies go ON the saw, not around it...

Do it!!!

Yeah, I had them tweak the engine for the new edition.

Speaking of bad teachers:

"Your essay must have properly-cited references, cover these topics, and be at least 2000 words long. If your essay is under 2000 words, you will get an automatic 0."

And another generation of kids is taught to produce meandering, meaningless essays with run-on sentences and off-topic tangents. Because 2000 words.

And I thought I was evil!

Yeah, it's non consensual spell giving! I'm the victim here!! So, why don't you just pop open the cage and I can kill all humans we can go to the beach and play with kittens!

Wait, seriously!?! Come on guys, stop dying! I'll never get out of here!!

Futilely tries to piece cultists back together.

Yqatuba wrote:

Rovagug, The Rough Beast wrote:

Yqatuba wrote:

Usually petitioners go to be with their god after death, however, Rovagug is currently trapped in a demiplane at the center of the planet so what happens to them? I would guess they appear in the demiplane with him, he eats them, and gets a little more powerful and a little closer to breaking free...

It means they failed at the ONE thing I ask them to do, so f*@+ them, I don't give a s@$# what happens to them.

Um, I don't get it.

They were supposed to free him.

They failed.

They literally had one job. One job.

It's eternity of being maggots in the Abyss for them as punishment for their abject failure. Only the one who would actually contribute to Rovie's release could be granted the honour of standing by his side as he eats the universe.

This guy gets it! Let me out and I'll give you a free puppy!!

Enthusiastically holds out a writhing mass of tentacles, eyes, mouths, tufts of fur, and countless limbs.

Aw, it likes you! Just don't feed it after midnight.

Usually petitioners go to be with their god after death, however, Rovagug is currently trapped in a demiplane at the center of the planet so what happens to them? I would guess they appear in the demiplane with him, he eats them, and gets a little more powerful and a little closer to breaking free...

It means they failed at the ONE thing I ask them to do, so f$#% them, I don't give a s+$$ what happens to them.

First person to unlock the cage gets a free puppy!

Holds out an undulating mass of limbs and mouths constantly sprouting and reabsorbing tufts of fur, hair, and sensory organs with fake puppy ears strapped to various heads.

Isn't he... She... Aren't they adorable!

Smiles reassuringly.

F*%+ s+%& up! That's what I do!!

Destroys hotel room.

Where did my newest spawn go? I left him in a coffee cup somewhere around here.

It's a trap!

It wasn't my first choice.

If someone let's me out, I'll tell you all about it.

Adds Mithral Chain Shirt to Christmas list for Tarrasque.

What can I say, I have a fertile imagination.

Uh... kittens! Lots of kittens, that's the ticket!

It's a mystery, that's for sure.

whistles innocently.

On a more serious question to somebody completely different; Dear Rovagug, how do you feel about the Daemons? You both want to annhilate everything, so there is at least that middle ground.

Kill! Burn! Destroy! Then infest the rotting hole where it's body used to be with a hundred wretched abomif&~*ingnations!!!

Is... is that too much? They keep telling me if I lay it on thick I'll get out sooner.

If I use my inside voice, can I get out? I swear! Nothing consequential will be destroyed. Crosses tentacles behind back as a thousand aberrations are birthed in anticipation.

Soon!...

Kill them all and use their neck holes as gestation chambers for whatever crazy ass s+!# I can think of. You want tentacles, oh, we can do tentacles! How about ten razor sharp maws that only speak in tongues. Dude! We're getting weird with this one!

I like where he's going with that, I'd like to hear more, why don't you just break that seal there, and i will destroy everything we can discuss it further.

Travolta is a mewling kitten of a spawn compared to J. Bieber.

I am not affiliated with Justin Bieber, please stop blaming me, even I have my limits.

Good luck getting rid of me! Why you'd have to pull Golarion into some sort of pocket dimension and wipe out all recorded history of how it was done to shut me up. But, I mean *nervous chuckle* they'll never do THAT...

Lesson 43: The first person to free me, gets to live.

Pinky swear!