Reta Bigbad - Caro Cogitatus's page

As enticing as that is, I'm facing an increased workload in RL coming up so I'll have to bow out of that one for now.

So much funsies! Many thanksies!

Yea! We is HEROIEST HEROES of ALL! Woot! Woot!

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So when does parade for RETA OGRE-SLAYER start?

Xichikitte
# 106336-6
Grand Lodge

Great GM'ing! Thanks.

Does Reta want to loot him? Hmmmm...let me ponder that for approximately 0.00000000003 seconds. Yes. Yes, Reta does.

Reta wants flaming spear. Flame on, flame off. Reta gonna call it The Flamer. Reta very witty!

Reta pokes at the gourds from Pa Munchmeat.

Hey, Reta gots idea! Reta, Chuffy, and Poog take a gourd. Moggie already gots bombsies, right? We's all surround Gruffy from fars away, and when she poofs back we poofs her with BLAMMO FLAME-O EXPLOSION-O BIFF POW BAM from all sides! Woot woot!

Assuming no one objects to Reta taking the spear (and assuming there's insufficient time to put on the spiffy dead-goblin armor), what does Reta know about the spear?

Reta feeling helpful hand of Flan King now.

Stabbies, flanking: 1d20 + 8 + 2 ⇒ (17) + 8 + 2 = 27 Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5

All hail Flan King!

Have you met stabby end of Reta's knife? His name is "Stabby".

Nice to meet ya!: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (5) + 8 = 13 Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5

Freakin' dice! Come on! You're killin' me here!

Reta stab and Reta slice! Reta thinks you is not nice!

Reta cut and Reta gouge! Reta can't think of anything that rhymes with "gouge"!

Reta gonna stab you now anyway, mmm'kay?

Mmm'kay!: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (9) + 8 = 17 Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 = 2

Reta screams her battle cry and lunges for Pa Munchmeat.

LLLLLEEEEERRRROOOOYYYYY JEEEENNNNKKKKIIIINNNSSSS!

Stabsie! Stabsie!: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (8) + 8 = 16 Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 1 = 3

it's also a move action to take it out from where ever you were keeping it

Ah, gotcha. In that case, Reta will dig the potion out of her pocketses and drink it for this round's action, and not climb into the house.

Reta drinks her potion of fire resistance and climbs up into the house, ready to run out the door to attack Pa Munchmeat.

Drinking a potion is a standard action, so I don't think I have time to drink it and also attack this round.

Reta gonna sneaksie-sneaksie lift the trapdoor sloooooowly until it either makes a noise or lifts high enough to see something through the crack.

Stealth: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (8) + 10 = 18

Reta examines the trapdoor.

Does it open down or up? Is it visibly locked?

Assuming Reta sees that (and I don't see a reason she wouldn't)...

Reta watches Chuffy's dance, considers whether to cheer and applaud, then decides against it.

Stupid Chuffy, dancing when we on an Important Mission! Reta gonna have to talk to him about that later.

She finishes rolling her current egg away, then scurries under the house and waits.

If Reta sees Poog (or anyone else) using the trapdoor, she'll stop rolling eggs and join them.

Reta will quietly roll the eggs away from the house about 10 feet, enough that if the house collapses it's unlikely to crush them. She'll leave them in plain sight if she can find or dig a hollow where they'll sit and not roll away.

Good, Moggie, but waits...Reta founds some bear-owl eggses. Could be valuable! Help Reta carry (roll?) them to safety.

How long will that take, being stealthy?

Reta inspects the wood that's shoring up the north wall.

Is it supporting the wall? How many goblinses (*without* help from bear-owls!) would it take to push one out?

Reta drinks her potion of feel moderately better.

Cure moderate wounds: 2d8 + 3 ⇒ (5, 6) + 3 = 14

Thanks, Moggie. You save Reta from being squishied.

Reta can't bear all of these bear owls!

Stabsies!: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (4) + 8 = 12 Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 1 = 3

Point taken. ;-)

Ummm, GM? Reta is pretty sure it's pronounced "bear-owl". Duh!

Thanks for the easy handling, GM. Reta's attack was not the best tactical choice, but it was the one I think her personality suggests (she "loves taking risks in combat to scare her enemies").

Reta, seeing that the bear-owl has an iron grip, tries to hack at its arm with her dogslicer.

Slicies!: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (18) + 8 = 26 Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5

Reta yelps in pain, but tries to bend one of the great creature's claws back in a painful fingerhold.

Take control of grapple: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (17) + 3 = 20

Poog! I has ouchies!

Reta takes advantage of the swirling dust, moving under the porch with her battle cry.

LEEEEERRRRRRRO...oh, Reta already here. Need longer charge next time.

It's a stabby party, and you're invited: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (14) + 8 = 22 Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4

Reta examines the support posts.

How many goblinses would be needed to push one out of place?

Perception: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (14) + 10 = 24

Reta, not to be outsneakied by Mogmurch, follows quietly and alertly.

Stealth: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (3) + 10 = 13
Perception: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (20) + 10 = 30

Well, alertly anyway.

Reta clambers over the fence behind Poog.

Climb: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (6) + 1 = 7

She whispers to Poog,

Reta feels sorries for goblins on arch. Because they not as AWESOME as Reta Bigbad.

Reta invokes the memory of the greatest tactician in goblin history.

LLLLLEEEEEEEEERRRRRRROOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYY JENNNNNNNNNNNKIIIIIIIIIINNNNNSSSSSS!

as she runs (charges if possible) to Chuffy's defense.

I'm assuming I won't get an attack this round due to travel time.

Or Reta can try to stabs him.

Reta just sayin'.

potion of cure moderate wounds - Chuffy
potion of cure moderate wounds - Mogmurch
potion of cure moderate wounds - Poog
potion of cure moderate wounds - Reta
potion of fire resistance - Reta
wand of lesser restoration - Poog
+1 flaming dogslicer - Chuffy
Small cloak of elvenkind - Chuffy
bead of force - unclaimed
necklace of fireballs (type I) - unclaimed
5 ounces of sovereign glue (3 Mogmurch, 1 Reta, 1 unclaimed)

Ooooh, good idea, Moggie. Chuffy is sneaksiest. Chuffy should go.

Reta has taken a potion, but she eschews the impersonal nature of explosives hurled from afar in favor of up close and personal melee actions, and therefore leaves those items to the magic-inclined members of the party. In Reta's own words, she "prefers to stabby-stabby".

Hey everybuddy, Reta gots idea. How boutz we go sneaksie-sneaksie up to house and push away support logs? Then house go boomy-boomy down on whoever inside!

I think we moved on rather quickly and didn't finalize who got what from the chieftain's hoard. I think we got:

potion of cure moderate wounds - Chuffy
potion of cure moderate wounds - Mogmurch
potion of cure moderate wounds - Poog
potion of cure moderate wounds - Reta
potion of fire resistance - Reta will take
wand of lesser restoration (9 charges)
+1 flaming dogslicer - Chuffy
Small cloak of elvenkind - Chuffy
bead of force
necklace of fireballs (type I)
5 ounces of sovereign glue (3 Mogmurch, 2 unclaimed)

Reta continues the stabby party.

Stabsies!: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (19) + 8 = 27 Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5 Crit Confirm: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (9) + 8 = 17 Crit Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5

RETA BIGBAD IS BIGGEST BAD OF ALL!!! Woot! Woot! Woot!

Will: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (19) + 2 = 21

Reta manages to avoid most of Poog's channeled energy, but yelps in pain regardless.

Reta Bigbad is HERE TO STAB BOARSIES AND PICK NOSES, and Reta is ALL OUT OF BOOGERS TO PICK.

Stabsies!: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (19) + 8 = 27 Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4 Crit Confirm: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (12) + 8 = 20 Crit Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4

Reta cackles gleefully at finally getting some good attack dice rolls.

Reflex: 20 + 4 = 24

Reta looks at her singed bridal veil and Grrrrrrrs.

You makes Reta MAD. Reta feeling STABBY-STABBY!

Stabby-stabby: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (2) + 8 = 10 Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4

Reta struggles with her bonds.

Escape Artist: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (13) + 3 = 16
Escape Artist: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (20) + 3 = 23
Escape Artist: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (9) + 3 = 12
Escape Artist: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (13) + 3 = 16
Escape Artist: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (18) + 3 = 21

and escapes on her second try.

Fortitude: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (15) + 5 = 20

Reta's going to kill birdsies.

I'll be away most of the day celebrating early Mother's Day, so here's some attack rolls and Fort checks in advance.

Stabsies!: 1d20 + 8 - 4 ⇒ (12) + 8 - 4 = 16 Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4
Stabsies!: 1d20 + 8 - 4 ⇒ (16) + 8 - 4 = 20 Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 = 2
Stabsies!: 1d20 + 8 - 4 ⇒ (18) + 8 - 4 = 22 Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 = 2
Stabsies!: 1d20 + 8 - 4 ⇒ (13) + 8 - 4 = 17 Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 = 2
Stabsies!: 1d20 + 8 - 4 ⇒ (14) + 8 - 4 = 18 Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 = 2

Fortitude: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (6) + 5 = 11
Fortitude: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (13) + 5 = 18
Fortitude: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (7) + 5 = 12
Fortitude: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (8) + 5 = 13
Fortitude: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (3) + 5 = 8

If Poog and/or Moggie go 5 rounds without escaping, Reta will free them, cause she's nice that way.

Feel free to bot me as necessary.

Reta pops some metaphorical popcorn and cheers for the stirges.

Reta clomps clumsily out to the first plank.

Acrobatics: 1d20 + 2 - 2 ⇒ (5) + 2 - 2 = 5

...and plunges headlong into the drink halfway to the first stirge, where Chuffy is already getting all stabby up in the hoo.

Sputtering and fuming, she glares at Chuffy.

He pushed me, he did! Also tripped, body slammed, wrestled, pummeled, assaulted, and turned me into a newt!

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I got better.

Shenanigans!

Reta concurs that the identity is correct. She would also like it noted that she likes "stabby things", for what it's worth.

Perception: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (16) + 10 = 26
Perception: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (19) + 10 = 29
Perception: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (11) + 10 = 21

Shootsies!: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (19) + 8 = 27
Shootsies!: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (10) + 8 = 18
Shootsies!: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (4) + 8 = 12

Miss Chance: 1d100 ⇒ 83
Miss Chance: 1d100 ⇒ 38
Miss Chance: 1d100 ⇒ 1

Reta gonna beat you next time for suresies, Chuffy!

WOOT! WOOT! WOOT! WOOT! Reta Bigbad is READY TO WIN!

Reta squeals with delight and runs into the cave, spearing a still-wriggling caterpillar on a stick and toasting it over the fire.

(On the path leading to Birdcruncher camp):

Moggie, you scaring Reta. You saves firey bombsies for dogs and horses and tasty critters, mmmm'kay? NOT goblinses.

Reta strides confidently into the Birdcruncher camp.

Have no fear, RETA BIGBAD (and friends) IS HERE!

Good newses for Birdcrunchers! We gonna allow you to give us food and shelter. YEA! HOORAY! YIPPY-KI-YAY!

Pregen characters available here.

I'll stick with Reta. She's fun!

Reta grabs several of the pretty-pretties (we can work out which ones later) and high-steps around the deck in her finery, waving to her imaginary fans in preparation for the PARADE OF RETA BIGBAD (AND HELPERS) that she's sure will be thrown in her honor when she gets back.

With her super-sharpsy dogslicer, she cuts Vorka's face and scalp off and wears it as a mask.

This gonna scare little gobsies in the RETA BIGBAD (and helpers) VORKA-BE-DEADZ PARADE!

We didz it! We didz it! We is ALL most heroeist heroes of all!

(but mostly Reta)

Reta BigBad ain't gots time to bleed.

She glances away from the lit fuse on her Desnan candle and gives Poog a quick kiss on the cheek.

But thanks, Poogsie. You good friend.

Yes, thanks Revvy. It's hard to type on a tablet keyboard. Thanks for catching that.

Reta looks sad that she didn't get to have a Stabby Party with Cuddles, but then remembers that FIREWORKS! and runs back down to the main deck and starts to fire off a Desnan candle into the air.

Woot! Woot! Woot!