Clockwork Librarian

President Eden's page

26 posts. Alias of Studpuffin.



It's only a model.

I thought we were going to call it the Diplomatic Officiator of Nockled Genitals... or DONG for short.

2 people marked this as a favorite.
SLAaDOS wrote:
Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said "Goodbye" and you were like
Merisiel Sillvari wrote:
"No way!"

And then I was all "We pretended we were going to murder you?"

That was great!

I think I'm in love!

*short circuits and explodes*

Presidential Order 2275-A21B:

I demand that all posts above this appear.

Lord President Moorluck wrote:
Dr. Double Honors, Ph.D. wrote:
I'm happy for you, Woodraven. I guess none of those chateaus I posted worked for you...
I forbid anyone in my cabinet from living in a better home than me.

I refuse to acknowledge you or your cabinent. Long live America, long live The Enclave!

Sebastian wrote:

Okay, after a lot of soul searching, I've decided that the pro mother-f~*&ing, pro-Saddam beating (does this extend to his corpse?), generally bad assed agenda of this unkempt bearded man outweighs the fact that he has a three inch long booger crusted into his hideous facial hair.

I see our 2012 presidential frontrunner in the making.

Lets get working on changing that constitution! I've got sissors and white out in my office.

My administration heartily endorses the bearded man from down under, may his rule be epic and death come swiftly to his enemies.

I have double prop helicopters.

Vault 101 Escapee wrote:

UK Government Apparently Pays for Magic...

...because this one is pure snake oil.

You'll never escape my grasp... ya know... unless you... ya know... give me a processor error.

Moorluck wrote:
taig wrote:
Moff Rimmer wrote:
Treppa, Agent of C.H.A.O.S wrote:
And interesting that religion is not the way to your hot button, but grammar is.

While not strictly "religion", it really gets me when people say things like "All Christians are ...". Usually not realizing that they are talking to one.

And it isn't so much "grammar" that is my hot button. It's more that "stupid" seems to be the new benchmark for "good enough". (I'm not talking about people who have learning disabilities - dyslexia - or ESL people. I'm talking about people who have a college education and can't figure out 3rd grade grammar.)

I think the advent of "text language" bears some of the blame. That, and a former US President. :)

It was me. I had a programming glitch for some time... but I eventually got better.

Your President:
John Henry Eden

Crimson Jester wrote:

KFC is yummy, I can not think of another thing that the state of Kentucky has contributed to for the betterment of mankind. The Colonel surely had a place set aside for him at the pearly gates.

Can you tell I am on lunch?

When I was a young boy growing up in the nuclear wastes of Kentucky, my best friend (my dog) and I would romph through the radioactive wastes with glee. I'd chase giant super mutant butterflys with my BB gun while the dog twitched and foamed at the mouth.

Ah, good times.

Your president:
John Henry Eden

DoveArrow wrote:
I think it's high time that we do something about the egregious problem of leg humping. Countless people have been the victims of this terrible crime, and our government has done little to stop it. In order to pay for this legislation, I propose that we institute a 1% tax increase on ponies named Sebastian. After all, these individuals have done little to stop these heinous acts, and are the ones most capable of shouldering such a burden for the good of the American people.


Anything to raise taxes!

Lord President Moorluck wrote:
President Eden wrote:

The Enclave doesn't recognize your sovereignity, we're the true America! A couple of nukes should put that big crack right back into proper order.

Your President:
John Henry Eden

Lord Secretary of Kicking A** Taig had your nukes... for breakfast. Besides, didn't you get talked into offing yourself by a 19 year old girl in cut off jeans? ;)

That's not what the 19 year old girl in cut off jeans got me to do.

This "Oasis" attrocity seems to have escaped beyond the borders of the Wastelands. I wonder, "President" Moorluck, if your lord secretary has any relation to Harold or Bob from that abyssmally green place up north...

The Enclave doesn't recognize your sovereignity, we're the true America! A couple of nukes should put that big crack right back into proper order.

Your President:
John Henry Eden

Virtual Rights for Virtual Citizens!

Alchemist Fire salesman wrote:

Then how do you explain this sir?

That's Meta-Gaming!

Your President:
John Henry Eden

I am not hooked on Fallout 3.

Your President:
John Henry Eden

Why our friendly giant mutant Corvids are quite the adorable bunch, now aren't they? Rear Admiral is it? I am placing you in command of the distribution of anti-mutation bird seed at once. You may seed at your leisure.

That is all

Your President:
John Henry Eden

My fellow Americans, when I need to deal with a Super Mutant... which is not unlike a troll... I prefer to use a laser rifle in the 30 kilowatt range and finish him off with Ol' Painless. I remember stomping around rural Kentucky in my youth, though it was a post-nuclear wasteland... Shooting Super Mutants and sipping glowing lemonade. I thought those days would never end.

Thanks for gathering round the fire with me.

Your president: John Henry Eden.

I think we have a place for you in our Vivisection division in Pasadena.

Your President:
John Henry Eden

I won't ask if you don't tell. Physical Unions for all, Civil Unions for none. Its the American way.

Your President:
John Henry Eden

Birds are our fine feathered friends, except for the raving super mutant pteradactyl condors that infest the upper reaches of Raven Rock. When I was a young man growing up in rural Kentucky my best friend (my dog) and I would spend many an hour chasing birds through the woods with my BB gun, while he'd sniff around in the radioactive debris and roll over onto his back and twitch while foaming at the mouth. Ah, those were good times.

But I digress. The birds of this fine nation shall enjoy a holiday like never before. Today is National Befriend a Super Mutant Bird Day, and maybe by the end of the day we'll all have a nice poultry dinner.

Thanks for spending some time by the fireplace with your President: John Henry Eden.

You can go home as soon as you perform several very dangerous assignments for me that I couldn't possibly let fall into the hands of my ignorant underlings... and despite my attempts to kill you, you'll do them and like them. For America!

This is your President: John Henry Eden. Come sit 'round the fire while I tell you about growing up as a boy in Kentucky with my best friend, my dog. I will tug at your heart strings to instill a sense of pride in one guy in Megaton while countless floating eyeballs roam the countryside attacking giant scorpions and super mutants who need dialysis desperately. Thanks for tuning in...

*plays stars and stripes forever*